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PUBLISHED    BY 

Betroir,  Mithmn,  IB,  ^.  ^. 

1910 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress 
in  the  year  1909,  by 

The  Business  Man's  Publishing  Company,  Ltd 
detroit,   michigan, 

In  the  office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress. 
All  rights  reserved. 


INTRODUCTION 

This  volume  makes  no  pretense  for  high  literary 
honors. 

Just  a  few  short  business  stories,  each  with  a  moral, 
if  you  will  seek  it ;  done  into  book  form  for  the  enter- 
tainment of  the  reader. 

If  after  you  have  passed  a  busy  day  indoors  or  afield 
you  will  turn  to  the  pages  of  this  little  volume,  we 
are  sure  that  you  will  experience  a  certain  degree  of 
satisfaction  which  is  derived  from  the  lighter  things 
in  life. 

We  have  tried  in  our  compilation  to  make  the  stories 
as  varied  as  possible  and  all  of  interest  to  the  business 
man. 

If  this  volume  succeeds  in  giving  you  a  few  mo- 
ments' entertainment,  we  shall  feel  that  our  efforts 
have  been  well  spent. 

The  Business  Man's  Publishing  Co.,  Ltd. 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

The  Lure  op  the  Unspoken  Word 7 

By  Charlton  Lawrence  Edholm 

The  Business  Spy 17 

By  F.  B.  Linton 

The  Striped  Tourists 28 

By  Montague  Glass 

Bill  Sickles — Lazy  Man  {Illustrated) 34 

By  Edward  Blomeyer 

The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shadyville  (Illustrated)  43 
By  Edward  Blomeyer 

The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman 54 

By  George  Mahon 

The  Bookkeeper:  His  Accuracy  (Illustrated)..  75 
By  Elwood  S.  Brown 

The  Phantom  Bookkeeper 85 

By  Charles  A.  Sweetland 

John  Davis,  Manager,  and  the  New  President's 

Policy 93 

By  F.  B.  Linton 

The   Strange   Case   of    Clement   Zent    (Illus- 
trated)     102 

By  George  Rockhill  Craw 

The  Promoter  :  His  Genius 137 

By  Elwood  S.  Brown 

Brothers  145 

By  S.  Roland  Hall 


Celestine  and  Coralie 151 

By  Montague  Glass 

Ahead  of  Date 157 

By  Edward  Blomeyer 

John  Hake,  Business  Gambler 165 

By  B.  P.  Owie 

The  Strike  at  La  Place's 176 

By  Edgar  Matthew  Keator 

Driver  of  the  Band  Wagon 182 

By  J.  E.  Brown 

The  Sixth  Floor  Elephants 187 

By  Edgar  Dayton  Price 

Mixing  the  Grades 196 

By  M.  W.  Foshay 

The  Trapping  of  Bomb-Proof  Smith 204 

By  Edgar  Dayton  Price 

Stover,  the  Resourceful 212 

By  Lincoln  ]\L  Stearns 

The  Best  Policy  after  All 220 

^y  W.  W.  Woodbridge 

How  Jack  Closed  the  Deal 225 

By  Edgar  Dayton  Price 

The  Sticker 231 

By  Edgar  Dayton  Price 

The  "Wyandotte  Shares 241 

By  Edgar  Dayton  Price 


'^'rhe  Lure  of  the  Uvspoken  Word" 


THE  LURE  OP  THE  UNSPOKEN  WORD. 

BY    CHARLTON   LAWRENCE   EDHOLM. 

It  was  in  the  good  old  wide-open  days  of  San  Fran- 
cisco before  the  earth — fire,  I  should  say — when  Grant 
avenue  was  the  stamping  ground  of  innumerable  fa- 
kirs, operating,  it  was  charged,  cum  permissu  superio- 
rum.  The  editor  and  proprietor  of  the  late  unla- 
mented  Rinkey-Dink  IMonthly  and  its  IMinor  Poet  and 
general  literary  hack,  Mr.  Oscar  Algernon  Botts,  were 
strolling  along  that  thoroughfare  one  Saturday  eve- 
ning, discussing  such  widely  varying  themes  as  "Lit- 
erature" and  "Making  the  Magazine  Pay." 

The  Minor  Poet's  ideal  was  as  high  as  the  apart- 
ments he  occupied  when  at  home,  likewise  a  trifle 
vague  and  shadowy,  resembling  his  weekly  promises 
to  the  landlady.  Mr.  Botts 's  theory  was  that  there  is 
no  melody  like  that  of  the  song  unsung,  no  power  like 
that  of  the  unspoken  word ;  in  plain  terms,  that  the 
ideas  which  were  suggested  rather  than  affirmed, 
wielded  the  greater  influence. 

"I  see  your  point,"  said  the  editor.  "What  you 
are  trying  to  say  has  already  been  set  in  cold  type. 
If  you  will  examine  your  rejection  slips  you  will  ob- 
serve that  it  is  the  unavailable  manuscripts  which 
possess  the  literary  merit,  that  quality  so  ardently  cov- 
eted by  the  novice." 

"Well,  that  is  a  fact !"  exclaimed  the  M.  P.  warmly, 
"although  it  is  not  the  point  I  am  trying  to  make. 
My  idea  is  that  a  hint  is  more  alluring  than  a  definite 
promise,  just  as  a  promise  is  more  alluring  than  the 
realitj'-. ' ' 

"Are  you  trying  to  say  that  an  unpaid  subscription 
on  the  books  is  a  more  beautiful  thing  to  contemplate 
than  a  'Please  find  cheek  herewith'?" 

Oh,  pshaw,  it 's  just  like  you  always  to  try  to  mix 
your  business  with  literature !    Now,  look  here :    I  will 

7 


8  Clever  Business  Sketches 

show  you  a  man  who  is  at  this  very  moment  turning 
my  theory  into  cash,  though  I'll  admit  that  he  never 
works  twice  in  the  same  town.  I  saw  him  last  week  in 
San  Jose,  at  the  Street  Fair.  If  you'll  stop  about 
twenty  minutes  and  listen  to  him,  I  'm  convinced  that 
even  your  dull  and  literal  mind  will  grasp  my  beau- 
tiful theory  of  the  lure  of  the  word  unuttered,  the 
song  unsung,  the  promise  unmade  and  therefore  never 
to  be  broken." 

Above  the  clatter  and  clang  of  cable  cars  on  Market 
street  and  the  myriad-voiced  chatter  of  the  Saturday 
night  crowd,  the  editor  and  Minor  Poet  heard  a  clear, 
strident  intonation  that  had  the  drawing  quality  of  a 
magnet.  Mr.  Botts,  forgetting  that  he  was  a  master 
of  English,  exclaimed,  "That's  him!" 

As  they  approached  the  corner,  where  a  flaring  gas- 
oline torch  threw  its  glare  on  a  hundred  or  more  up- 
turned faces,  the  possessor  of  the  magnetic  voice 
stood  revealed  above  the  mob,  a  middle-aged  man, 
dressed  in  quiet  gray  tweeds  and  spotless  linen,  a  soft 
pearl  colored  hat  on  his  cropped  head.  His  heavy 
grizzled  mustache  was  ruthlessly  stubbed  over  thin 
lips  to  that  scrubbing-brush  effect  which  has  replaced 
the  flowing  and  elegant  side  whiskers  in  the  circles  of 
high  finance.  His  features  were  forceful ;  eyes  cold 
gray  and  alert,  a  prominent  cleft  chin,  a  well  formed 
aquiline  nose  and,  at  each  nostril,  those  deeply  graven 
lines,  unmistakable  autograph  of  a  sneer.  Until  he 
opened  his  mouth  to  speak,  one  might  readily  take 
him  for  a  gentleman. 

"Now,  gents,"  he  was  saying,  "I  want  you  to  ob- 
serve that  I  have  hero  four  of  these  mysterious  little 
red  boxes,  contents  unknown,  and  four  playing  cards, 
which  I  will  not  conceal,  just  to  prove  that  everything 
is  open  and  above  board.  As  you  see,  they  are  the 
Jack  of  Spades,  the  King  and  Queen  of  the  same  suite, 
and  the  Joker.  Now  I  want  four  gents  in  this  audi- 
ence to  buy  these  four  boxes  containing — there,  I 
nearly  let  it  out !  I  '11  just  remark  that  it 's  one  of  the 
greatest  inventions  of  science, — I  generally  sell  them 
at  one  dollar  sixty-five,  but  tonight  they  are  going  at 


The  Lure  of  the  Unspoken  Word       9 

four  bits  apiece  just  to  interdooce  the  goods, — and  the 
first  four  sports  that  speculates  are  going  to  get  a  big 
prize.  Step  up,  gents,  and  show  your  sporting  blood. 
Who's  a  game  one?  Ah,  thank  you,  sir;  thank  you, 
thank  you,  thank  you,  sir!" 

Four  bored  looking  "gents,"  very  different  in  su- 
perficial appearance,  but  all  with  the  indefinable  ear- 
marks of  the  capper,  had  elbowed  their  way  from  the 
edge  of  the  crowd  to  the  speaker  and  passed  up  their 
money.  Two  of  them  paid  with  double  eagles  which 
were  changed  with  scrupulous  accuracy. 

"The  four  gents  as  have  proved  their  sporting 
blood  will  now  observe  what  I  do.  Here  is  the  Queen 
of  Spades;  I  tear  the  card  in  half,  one  half  I  give 
to  this  here  gent  what  took  the  first  box ;  the  other 
half  I  lay  on  the  table  before  me  and  on  it  I  place  his 
purchase,  an'  on  top  o'  that  I  lay  this  here  for-bit 
piece,  the  same  as  the  gent  passed  me,  and  on  it,  look ! 
look  ! !  look ! ! ! — I  lay  a  bright,  new  silver  dollar,  fresh 
from  the  mint.  I  do  the  same  by  the  other  three 
sports;  each  man's  half  gets  a  whole  dollar  of  mine 
to  top  it  and  every  time  he  buys  or  purchases  one  of 
these  here  little  red  boxes  I  place  another  cartwheel  on 
his  half  card. 

"Hey,  you;  don't  throw  that  piece  of  card  away! 
It  may  be  worth  big  money  to  you." 

"Now,  gents,  do  you  want  another  box  apiece,  or 
shall  I  deal  another  hand?" 

Three  of  the  buyers  hastily  doubled  their  invest- 
ment and  the  thick  set  one  with  a  bulbous  nose,  heavy 
mustache  and  puffy  pouches  under  the  eyes,  took  four 
at  a  time  and  saw  his  four  halves  capped  by  four 
shining  dollars. 

"J.  P.  Morgan  never  lets  a  good  thing  get  past 
him,"  commented  the  merchant  of  red  boxes,  making 
change.  "  Here 's  your  money  ;  ten,  fifteen  and  three 
is  eighteen.  Remember  me  to  Charley  Sw^ab  next  time 
you  see  him." 

The  crowd  grinned  at  this,  but  the  capper  solemnly 
counted  his  change  and  pocketed  it.  "Say,  this  is 
easy  money, ' '  he  remarked  to  a  dapper  little  counter- 


10 


Clever  Biisivess  Sketches 


The  Black-faced  Comedian  smote  his  'banjo,  and  sang  with  a 
rolliching  voice" 


jumper  whose  pale  blue  eyes  had  gullied  down  the 
proceeding.  "You  Avaiit-a  break  into  the  next  hand?" 
The  little  clerk  had  thought  of  doing  so,  and  the  ad- 
vice of  the  elderly  financier  decided  him.  When  the 
ace,  deuce,  tray  and  ten-spot  were  spread  out,  each 
with  its  little  red  box,  he  passed  up  two  (juarters  which 
he  had  extracted  from  a  Hat  purse.  A  laborer  drew  a 
half-dollar  from  an  old  tobacco  sack  and  a  couple  of 


The  Lure  of  the  Unspoken  Word       H 

other  "game  ones"  invested  a  fourth  of  their  day's 
wage  and  had  the  joy  of  seeing  the  bright  new  dollar 
crown  their  investment.  They  clutched  their  half- 
cards  with  a  feverish  grip  for  fear  some  one  might  de- 
prive them  of  their  gains.  The  piek-and-shovel  man 
carefully  folded  his,  stuffed  it  into  the  greasy  tobacco 
pouch  and  kept  his  hands  in  the  pocket  where  it  rested. 
No  pickpockets  for  him !  No,  sir !  lie  had  lost  money 
that  way  once. 

Well,  gents,  who's  next,  who's  next,  who's  next, 
who's  next?  Them  'at  ain't  next  want-a  get  next,  for 
I  ain't  going  to  give  away  the  firms'  money  all  night. 
Yes,  sir,  the  firm  I  represent  gives  me  a  thousand 
dollars  as  a  premium  to  interdooce  the  contents  of 
these  little  red  boxes  in  this  city.  But  the  contract  is 
that  they  only  goes  to  sports.  You  fellows  that  ain't 
got  sporting  blood  might  as  well  leave  right  now; 
I'm  looking  for  speculators,  not  spectators.  Step  up. 
gents,  I'm  dealing  another  hand.  Thank  you,  sir, 
thank  you,  thank  you, — and  now,  one  more?  Ah, 
here  you  are,  sir.  Two,  did  you  say?  Here,  don't 
forget  your  change ;  1  don't  want  anything  but  what's 
coming  to  me.  The  firm  pays  me  a  liberal  salary  and 
I  don't  have  to  knock  down  change,  thank  God!" 

After  half  a  dozen  hands  had  been  dealt,  the  port- 
able table  was  covered  with  fragments  of  cards,  little 
red  boxes  and  piles  of  glittering  coin,  when  the  pro- 
moter of  speculation  for  sports  announced:  "Well, 
gents,  here  are  twenty-four  half  cards,  worth  all  the 
W'ay  from  a  dollar  and  a  half  to  twenty  dollars.  Now 
I  want  to  see  the  good  right  hand  of  each  purchaser 
so  I'll  know  they're  all  here.  Hold  up  your  hands 
to  be  coimted;  don't  be  bashful;  what  if  they  are 
stained  with  honest  toil!  I  tell  you  the  grimy  hand 
of  the  workingman  sustains  the  world!  One,  two, 
three, — seven — eighteen — twenty-four;  that's  right; 
twenty-four  strong,  right  hands  that  kings  and  em- 
perors might  be  proud  to  grasp  I 

"Now  you  twenty-four  dead  game  sports  are  the 
only  wise  ones  in  the  crowd,  'cause  nobody  else  is 
going  to  break  in  on  this  tonight,  nobody  but  one, 


12  Clever  Business  Sketches 

that  is,  for  there's  luck  in  odd  numbers.  Who  is  go- 
ing to  make  the  lucky  twenty-fifth  1  I  lay  a  gold  eagle 
on  his  half  card  and  ask  once  more,  who  is  the  lucky 
man  that  buys  this  last  little  red  box  with  its  mys- 
terious contents?" 

A  pimply  youth  in  a  lavender  tie  and  imitation 
Panama  and  a  swagger  ten-dollar  suit  pushed  for- 
ward eagerly,  extending  a  half  dollar. 

"Hold  on,  yoimg  man,  it  takes  a  dollar  to  buy  this 
box,"  remarked  the  captain  of  finance.  The  youth 
produced  two  additional  quarters  with  nervous  haste, 
lest  the  golden  opportunity  should  be  snatched  from 
his  grasp.  "I  don't  know  as  I'm  obliged  to  take 
small  change,"  said  the  promoter,  eyeing  him  severely. 
"What  do  you  mean  by  shoving  these  gents  in  that 
disgraceful  way?  Where 'd  you  learn  such  manners? 
You  don't  seem  to  have  no  refinery!" 

"I  j-just  wanted  to  buy  a  box,"  gasped  the  discon- 
certed youth. 

"You  do,  do  3'ou!  Well,  just  keep  your  shirt  on. 
Before  selling  you  anything  I'm  going  to  learn  you  a 
little  culcher  right  here  and  now.    Say,  'Please?'  " 

"Please." 

"Please-sell-me-a-box,"  continued  the  instructor  in 
culture-whilc-you-wait. 

"P-please,  sir,  sell  me  a  box,  please!"  implored  the 
youth,  his  ej'es  on  the  gold  piece. 

"Well,  gents,  you  all  heard  him  say  'please,'  and 
so  to  oblige  him  I'm  going  to  sell  him  a  box.  Here's 
your  card,  kiddo;  mind  you,  don't  let  nobody  swipe 
it  off  you." 

"Now  all  3'ou  twentj'-five  wise  ones  are  requested 
to  double  your  stakes.  Of  course  you  don't  have  to; 
there's  no  obligation;  anybody  that's  got  cold  feet 
can  take  his  purchase  and  toddle  home  to  bed.  That's 
the  best  place  for  quitters,  but  I  have  a  feeling  that 
the  twenty-five  hot  sports  in  this  crowd  are  going  to 
stay  by  the  game." 

About  twenty  responded  with  Ihe  coin;  three  or 
four  slunk  away;  one  fussy  little  man  wilh  sideburns 
and  an  arm  full  of  bundles  demanded  his  box,  and  got 


The  Lure  of  the  Unspoken  Word        13 

it.  To  his  speechless  indication,  he  got  nothing  else 
but  the  contents,  a  spherical  piece  oi'  glass  something 
like  the  stopper  of  a  perfume  bottle.  The  enclosed  cir- 
cular designated  this  five-cent  article  as  a  "Noncom- 
plex  Microscope,"  the  mightiest  invention  of  science. 
In  spite  of  this  glowing  description  he  seemed  to 
feel  that  he  had  not  received  his  money's  worth,  but 
he  got  no  sympathy  from  the  crowd  which  had  not 
the  least  fellow-feeling  for  ' '  quitters. ' '  The  youth  with 
the  swagger  suit  had  found  three  more  quarters  and 
borrowed  a  ft)urth  from  a  friend  to  double  his  stake. 

"I  do  hate  to  handle  this  dirty  silver!"  sighed  the 
promoter  of  clean  sport,  whereupon  he  deliberately 
washed  his  hands  from  a  bottle  of  wine  on  the  table 
and  afterwards  refreshed  his  throat  therefrom.  ' '  Fil- 
thy lucre,  filthy  lucre !  Why,  you  know,  it 's  just  full 
of  germs  and  parasites!"  he  protested,  as  he  care- 
lessly swept  a  few  glittering  piles  into  the  table 
drawer.  "I  risk  my  life  every  time  I  take  it  off  of 
you.  Up  wath  your  hands,  you  guys  with  the  cards ! ' ' 
he  suddenly  commanded. 

"Whew!  put  'em  down  quick.  No  wonder  the  coin 
is  so  dirty.  It's  worse  than  John  D.'s  tainted  money ! 
What's  the  matter,  ain't  they  no  water  in  your  town  ? " 

The  non-investors  guffawed  heartily  at  this  sally, 
and  the  proud  "sports"  looked  sheepish  and  uneasy, 
but  no  protest  was  raised  as  a  couple  more  handfuls  of 
silver  slipped  into  the  drawer. 

"Now,  gents,"  continued  the  genial  captain  of 
finance,  ' '  I  have  a  few  other  things  to  show  you  before 
I  distribute  the  purchases  and  your  free-prizes,  gifts  or 
premiums  that  go  with  each  box,  after  which  Profes- 
sor Pinkley  of  Pillville  and  black-faced  assistant  wnll 
endeavor  to  amuse  you.  Exhibit  A  is  this  here  little 
joker,  which,  as  a  traveler,  I'm  permitted  by  my 
friend  at  police  headquarters  to  carry  for  purposes  of 
self-defense.  It's  a  beauty  all  right,  in  perfect  work- 
ing order,  a  hammerless  six-shooter  wdth  a  hair  trig- 
ger. It  contains  six  capital  prizes — for  soreheads 
only.  Exhibit  B  is  these  here  beautiful  and  artistic 
solid  silver  teaspoons,  one  of  which  goes  as  a  premium 


14  Clever  Business  Sketches 

with  each  purchase.  Each  good  little  man  presents 
his  card  of  identification  and  gets  his  prize.  Here  you 
are,  sir,  three  boxes  for  you  and  three  spoons,  solid 
silver  plate.  Here's  your's  the  Jack  of  Diamonds 
takes  six  little  red  boxes  and  six  spoons,  or  half  a 
dozen,  every  one  of  them  solid  German-silver  plate, 
warranted  not  to  rust,  turn  green,  wear  out  nor  lose 
their  luster  if  kept  perfectly  dry  and  not  removed 
from  their  wrappings." 

By  this  time  the  little  piles  of  gold  and  silver  had 
all  vanished  and  only  the  little  red  boxes  and  the 
solid  German-silverine-plated  spoons  remained  in 
sight.  The  shiny  butt  of  the  gun  was  just  visible, 
peeping  coyly  from  his  coat  pocket.  It  made  any 
protest  seem  narrow-minded,  unsportsmanlike  and 
niggardly.    At  any  rate  none  was  made. 

"Here  you  are,  sir,  Jack  of  Spades  for  yours,  twelve 
boxes  and  a  free  gift  of  a  dozen  elegant  spoons  fit  for 
the  table  of  the  Czar,— no,  don't  mind  thanking  me; 
the  pleasures'  all  mine.  Be  sure  to  tell  Charley  Swab 
you  saw  me.  And  now,  gents,  1  thank  you  one  and  all 
for  your  kind  attention  to  my  lecture  and  will  make 
way  for  Professor  Pinkley,  patentee  of  Pinkley's  Pink 
Pellets,  the  Pills  that  made  Pillville  famous.  His 
sweet-voiced  singer  from  the  Sunny  Southland  will 
now  entertain  you." 

And,  deftly  clapping  together  his  portable  table, 
which  folded  into  something  like  a  suit  case,  the  hu- 
man dollar-magnet  stepped  into  a  waiting  buggy  and 
drove  rapidly  away,  the  jingle  of  "easy  money"  grow- 
ing fainter  and  fainter  to  the  ears  of  the  "dead  game 
sports."  The  black-faced  comedian  in  the  service  of 
Professor  Pinkley  of  Pillville,  smote  his  banjo  and 
sang  with  a  rollicking  voice: 

"Rufus  Rastus  Johnsing  Brown, 

What  che  gwine  ter  do  when  the  rent  comes  roun*?" 

The  editor  had  stood  like  one  in  a  trance  during  the 
shearing  process,  and  only  a  convulsive  movement  of 
his  hand  toward  the  pocket  in  which  he  kept  his  profits 
indicated  how  narrowly  he  had  escaped  ranking  with 


The  Lure  of  the  Unspoken  Word        !•'> 

the  twenty-five  shorn  lambs.    Tlie  timely  interruption 
of  Mr.  Botts  was  all  that  had  saved  him. 

"It's  wonderful,  it's  perfectly  wonderful!"  he 
gasped.    "There's  something  in  your  theory,  Bottsy. " 

"Of  course  there  is,"  said  the  ]\Iinor  Poet  loftily. 
"He  is  of  the  elect.  He  understands  the  lure  of  the 
unspoken  word.  You  will  observe  that  he  did  not 
break  the  law,  although  he  cheated,  bullied,  and  even 
threatened  with  violence  the  unselected  crowd  of  the 
street  corner.  lie  did  not  make  any  promises,  and 
therefore  could  not  break  any.  He  even  had  his  vic- 
tims trained  to  say  'please'  and  'thank  you'  while  he 
parted  them  from  their  money.  No,  it  is  not  hypno- 
tism, it  is  The  Lure.  That  is  the  kind  of  thing  which 
I  try  to  get  into  my  sonnets,  although  on  a  loftier 
plane  than  the  material,  of  course." 

"What  you  need  is  something  of  that  sort  to  sell 
your  sonnets,"  replied  the  editor  and  proprietor  of 
the  Rinkey-Dink  IMonthly.  "Gad!  if  I  had  a  fellow 
like  that  in  charge  of  my  advertising  department !  By 
George,  I'll  do  it.  He  can  make  his  own  terms.  How 
do  you  suppose  I  can  get  in  touch  with  that  fellow?" 
he  asked,  abruptly. 

"You  might  try  police  headquarters,"  replied  the 
Minor  Poet.  "Say,"  he  added,  "couldn't  you  use  a 
little  write-up  of  that  scene  in  the  paper?" 

"Sure,  sure!  Put  it  together  and  send  it  in,"  re- 
plied the  editor  as  he  detached  himself  hurriedly  and 
darted  away  in  the  direction  of  the  Hall  of  Justice. 

It  was  a  month  later.  The  Minor  Poet  was  begin- 
ning to  wonder  why  he  had  not  heard  about  that  man- 
uscript which  he  had  promptly  submitted.  Another 
commission  had  kept  him  from  the  office  of  the  month- 
ly ;  the  manufacturer  of  a  patent  eyelet  for  laced  shoes 
had  ordered  a  set  of  incomplete  limericks  for  a  prize 
competition.  There  was  some  money  in  that  kind  of 
work ! 

The  postman 's  knock  interrupted  his  as  he  was  try- 
ing to  find  a  good  rhyme  for  the  line 

The  man  who  wears  Pudd  'a  Patent  Eyeleti. 


16  Clever  Business  Sketches 

He  feared  that  even  the  uncritical  ear  of  Pudd  would 
reject  "violets."  With  some  preoccupation  he  opened 
his  door  to  receive  the  regular  daily  sheaf  of  returns, 
those  sonnets  and  stories  which  came  back,  like  the 
dove  to  the  ark,  bearing  an  olive  branch  in  the  form  of 
a  neatly  printed  testimonial  of  literary  merit. 

One  of  the  envelopes  which  he  opened  contained  his 
little  description  of  the  human  dollar-)nagnot,  but 
with  it,  in  place  of  the  usual  rejection  slip,  was  a 
scrap  of  "copy"  paper  on  which  the  following  note 
was  inscribed  in  the  firm  handwriting  of  the  editor 
and  proprietor  of  the  Rinky-Dink  IMonthly: 

"Dear  Bottsy : — AVe  secured  the  services  of  your 
street  corner  friend  for  the  adv-  dept.,  according  to 
your  suggestion.  His  salary  was  only  $500  per,  which 
was  reasonable,  as  he  landed  contracts  for  about 
$2,000  and  collected  on  them.  He  succeeded  in  rais- 
ing two  mortgages  on  the  plant  and  sold  the  office 
furniture  to  a  second-hand  man  named  Goldstein. 
That  was  the  day  he  left  town.  I  am  camping  in  the 
office  to  prevent  Goldstein  from  taking  possession. 
Your  theory  about  Ihe  lure  of  the  unspoken  word  is 
a  regular  peach  in  literature,  but  somehow  I  couldn't 
make  it  work  in  my  business.    Yours  faithfully, 

"J." 


THE  BUSINESS  SPY 

BY    F.    B.    LINTON 

"What  can  I  do  for  you?"  inquired  John  Garrison, 
owner  and  operator  of  the  Independent  Coal  Mines, 
ghmcing  from  his  desk  to  the  young  man  who  un- 
announced liad  entered  his  office.  "1  am  a  very  busy 
man  this  morning." 

The  young  man  moved  a  chair  close  to  Garrison's 
desk,  sat  down,  adjusted  a  pair  of  rimless  nose  glasses, 
and  eyed  him  keenly. 

"You  sent  for  me,"  he  replied. 

"Who  in  the  Dickens  are  you?" 

"Gilbert,  Paul  Gilbert." 

"Oh!  You  are  Gilbert,  the  secret  service  agent.  I 
was  expecting  to  see  an  older  man.  I  am  glad  to  see 
you,  Mr.  Gilbert,  very  glad,  indeed,"  and  his  frank 
expression  and  the  warm  grasp  of  his  hand  convinced 
Gilbert  that  he  was  sincere. 

"Then  I  take  it  that  the  coal  trust  is  pushing  you 
hard.  Men  are  generally  in  a  tight  place  when  they 
send  for  me,"  said  Gilbert. 

"Yes,  they  have  me  in  a  tight  place.  They  have 
told  me  that  they  will  run  me  out  of  business  or  break 
me.  They  may  break  me — I  am  beginning  to  fear  they 
will — but  I  swear  they  '11  never  run  me  out  while  I  've 
got  a  cent  left  to  fight  with,"  replied  Garrison  ex- 
citedly. "There  have  been  times  when  I  would  have 
sold  out  to  them  for  a  fair  price,  but  that  time  has 
passed.    It's  a  fight  to  a  finish  now!" 

"That's  the  proper  spirit,  Mr.  Garrison,"  said  Gil- 
bert quietly,  "but  you  are  talking  too  loud.  The  man- 
ager of  the  trust  in  Pittsburg  may  hear  you.  It's  only 
50  miles  and  we  have  wireless  telephony  now,  you 
know. ' ' 

"He  already  knows  as  much  about  my  business  as 
I  do,"  answered  Garrison  more  calmly.     "He  finds 

A  17 


18  Clever  Business  Sketches 

out  where  I  send  quotations  and  underbids  me.  He 
finds  out  when  my  contracts  expire  and  prevents  my 
reDewin?  them.  He  knows  my  exact  output,  ^nd  my 
profit  and  loss  on  every  transaction.  Every  move  of 
mine  is  anticipated  and  obstacles  put  in  my  way.  So 
difficult  is  it  for  me  to  get  and  hold  customers  that 
the  cost  of  my  sales  department  eats  up  all  the  profits. 
If  I  don't  get  a  cheek  on  them  somewhere,  it's  only  a 
question  of  time  until  I  go  to  the  wall.  I  must  find 
out  how  they  learn  my  carefully  guarded  trade  secrets. 
It  is  for  that  purpose  I  want  to  engage  your  services. 
I'll  have  to  fight  the  devil  in  his  own  way." 

"Indeed?"  queried  Gilbert. 

"I  did  not  refer  to  you,"  replied  Garrison  with  a 
laugh. 

"If  you  will  tell  me  the  exact  steps  that  have  been 
taken  in  the  fight,"  said  Gilbert,  "I  shall  know  where 
to  begin  work.  It  is  perhaps  unnecessary  to  remind 
you  that  you  must  trust  me  implicitly." 

When  the}^  parted  two  hours  later  Gilbert  knew  the 
situation  thoroughly.  He  went  directly  to  Pittsburg, 
the  headquarters  of  the  bituminous  coal  trust. 

The  next  day  Garrison  had  a  stroke  of  luck.  The 
United  Steel  and  Manufacturing  Company  of  Pitts- 
burg opened  negotiations  with  him  for  their  supply 
of  coal.  They  had  previously  obtained  all  their  coal 
from  the  trust.  They  now  desired  to  make  a  five  years' 
contract  with  Garrison  for  a  weekly  supply  that  was 
about  the  average  output  of  his  mines.  They  offered 
a  price  that  would  lie  exceedingly  profitable  to  Garri- 
son ;  for  if  he  secured  the  contract  he  could  do  away 
with  his  expensive  sales  department,  and  defy  the 
trust  for  at  least  five  years. 

The  only  feature  in  the  contract  that  he  did  not  like 
was  the  excessive  penalty  imposed  on  him  for  failure 
to  deliver  weekl.y  the  amount  specified.  That  penalty 
would  mean  ruin  if  for  any  reason  he  could  not  de- 
liver the  coal.  The  U.  S.  &  M.  Co.  would  not  yield 
one  jot  on  that  point.  "They  are  afraid,"  thought 
Garrison,  "that  if  I  fail  them,  fhe  trusf  will  refuse  to 
sell  them  coal  at  any  price." 


The  Business  Spy  1^ 

He  could  see  uothiiif;,  liowcver,  that  could  prevent 
him  from  supplying  the  required  amount.  lie  owned 
the  coal  l;ind  and  could  mine  that  mucli  witii  his  pres- 
ent equipment.  He  could  kcvp  a  sufncient  (puiritity 
in  reserve  to  tide  him  over  any  short  delay  caused  by 
a  break  in  the,  machinery  or  other  accidents.  His 
profits  would  be  large  enough  to  prevent  any  threat- 
ened strike  by  granting  an  increase  to  his  miners.  He 
decided  to  accept  the  terms  and  close  the  contract. 

He  wired  Gilbert:  "Unnecessary  to  proceed  fur- 
ther.    Come  here  at  once." 

In  two  hours  he  received  this  reply:  "Don't  close 
contract  with  U.  S.  &  IM.  Co.  Keep  up  negotiations. 
Important  developments  here.  Cannot  leave  now. 
Under  no  circumstances  close  the  contract. 

* '  Gilbert.  ' ' 

"The  Dickens!"  exclaimed  Garrison.  "How  does 
he  know  anything  about  this  contract?  The  United 
Steel  and  Manufacturing  Company  seemed  to  desire 
secrecy  even  more  than  I.  Not  a  man  in  my  office 
knows  about  it.  I  thought  this  was  one  transaction 
that  even  the  trust  would  know  nothing  of  until  it  is 
closed. ' ' 

Then  it  occurred  to  him  that  if  he  delayed,  the  trust 
would  probably  learn  of  it.  Perhaps  they  knew  of  it 
already.  What  if  they  had  bribed  Gilbert  to  block  the 
deal?  Why  should  he  be  guided  by  Gilbert?  As- 
suming that  Gilbert  was  honest  in  his  intentions,  he 
evidently  did  not  know  all  the  facts  in  the  case;  or 
else  he  was  using  very  poor  judgment. 

The  United  Steel  and  ]\Ianufacturing  Company  were 
pressing  him  for  a  final  decision. 

The  morning  after  his  conference  with  Garrison, 
Gilbert  in  his  private  office  on  the  fifteenth  floor  of  a 
skyscraper  on  Smithfield  St.,  Pittsburg,  received  the 
reports  of  two  of  his  assistants.  They  had  been  de- 
tailed the  evening  before  to  get  certain  definite  in- 
formation in  regard  to  the  organization  and  the  work- 
ing system  of  the  coal  trust.  Gilbert's  offices  were  os- 
tensibly those  of  an  expert  accountant  and  business 
systematizer.     That,  in  fact,  had  been  his  occupation 


20  Clever  Business  Sketches 

until  he  had  become  a  commercial  secret  service  agent 
on  account  of  his  peculiar  talents  and  accurate  knowl- 
edge of  men  and  the  methods  of  business  organization. 
In  this  line  of  work  he  found  a  wide  field  for  action, 
and,  after  he  demonstrated  his  ability,  a  great  demand 
for  his  skill.  For  system  and  jastice  he  had  an  admi- 
ration amounting  almost  to  reverence.  It  was  his  de- 
light to  pit  his  skill  and  intelligence  against  that  of 
greedy  and  dishonest  managers  and  operators  of  busi- 
ness organizations,  and  force  them  to  abandon  un- 
just practices. 

It  was  with  keen  pleasure  that  he  now  set  about 
learning  the  method  by  which  the  newly  formed  coal 
trust  was  trying  to  drive  out  all  competitors  in  gen- 
eral and  Garrison  in  particular.  It  was  clear  that  they 
hoped  to  monopolize  the  bituminous  coal  industry  of 
western  Pennsylvania. 

In  company  with  one  of  his  assistants,  Gilbert  called 
at  nine  o'clock  on  J.  C.  Bishop,  the  manager  of  the 
trust.  His  assistant  carried  a  tin  case,  somewhat  like 
a  typewriter  case  but  larger,  and  four  iron  legs  to 
support  it.  Bishop  was  intrenched  in  a  private  of- 
fice and  as  inaccessible  as  the  Czar  of  Russia.  Know- 
ing this,  Gilbert  brought  a  letter  of  introduction  from 
J.  J.  Smith  of  New  York,  the  president  of  the  Board 
of  Directors  of  the  coal  trust.  That  this  letter  had 
been  prepared  in  Gilbert's  office  was  not  apparent  on 
its  face.  The  signature  had  been  so  cleverly  forged' 
that  it  deceived  the  men  who  were  most  familiar  with 
the  genuine. 

"Mr.  Bishop,"  said  Gilbert,  pointing  to  the  case 
which  the  assistant  placed  in  the  corner  of  the  office, 
"I  have  there  an  invention  that  will  do  the  work  of 
fifteen  bookkeepers.     It  will " 

"Look  here,  young  man,"  interrupted  Bishop,  "1 
have  no  time  to  talk  to  agents.  Take  that  thing  out 
and  explain  it  to  my  chief  clerk." 

"I  am  not  trying  to  sell  this  machine,  Mr.  Bishop," 
replied  Gilbert.  "Mr.  Smith,  your  president,  wants 
you  to  look  into  this  with  him  with  the  view  of  manu- 


The  Business  Spy  21 

faeturing  it.  Mr.  Smith  himself  will  be  here  this 
afternoon.     I  want  to  leave  it  until  he  comes." 

"You  say  that  Mr.  Smith  is  coming  today?"  in- 
quired liishop. 

"I  have  an  appointment  with  him  here  at  five 
o'clock,"  replied  Gilbert. 

"It  is  strange  that  he  has  not  wired  me.  I  have  my 
hands  full,  too.  I've  no  time  to  monkey  with  crazy  in- 
ventions." 

"Well,  he's  coming,"  replied  Gilbert  in  no  wise  re- 
buffed. "It  is  his  desire,  too,  that  no  one  gets  to  ex- 
amine my  invention  until  he  has  looked  into  it.  Will 
you  see  that  it  is  not  disturbed?" 

"No  one  will  touch  it." 

"Then  good  day,  Mr.  Bishop,"  and  Gilbert  and  his 
assistant  left  the  office. 

Promptly  at  five  o'clock  Gilbert  again  called.  Mr. 
Smith  had  not  arrived.  Gilbert  was  greatly  surprised. 
He  could  not  imderstand  the  president's  failure  to 
keep  his  appointment.  Probably  they  would  hear 
from  him  later.  He  did  not  want  to  take  anj^  of  ]\Ir. 
Bishop's  time,  he  said,  so  he  carried  his  machine  away 
until  such  time  as  Mr.  Smith  should  designate  for  him 
to  return  it. 

When  Gilbert  reached  his  own  office  he  placed  his 
machine  very  carefully  on  the  floor,  threw  off  his  coat, 
and  adjusted  his  nose  glasses. 

"Now,  Billy,"  he  said  to  his  assistant,  "lock  the 
door  and  we  shall  see  if  your  guess  that  there  would  be 
something  doing  in  Bishop's  office  to-day  was  cor- 
rect," 

"I  didn't  set  Bishop's  office  boy  up  to  dinner  last 
night  for  nothing,"  replied  Billy  with  a  grin. 

"My  machine  is  still  running  and  makes  absolutely 
no  sound!"  exclaimed  Gilbert,  removing  the  case 
which  covered  it.  "The  record  cylinders  have  fallen 
into  place  without  a  hitch.  We've  got  a  record  of 
every  word  spoken  in  Bishop's  office  today." 

One  by  one  Billy  transferred  the  cylinders  from 
the  recording  machine  to  a  phonograph. 

Gilbert  leaning  back  in  a  comfortable  chair  with  his 


22  Clever  Business  Sketches 

feet  propped  upon  his  desk,  and  a  cigar  in  his  mouth, 
listened  intently  to  every  soimd  reproduced. 

There  were  interviews  with  the  heads  of  various  de- 
partments, then  a  series  of  letters  dictated,  and  a 
conversation  with  a  manufacturer  in  regard  to  a  big 
contract;  but  this  was  of  no  interest  to  Gilbert.  The 
peculiar  sound  of  the  phonograph  became  monotonous. 
He  closed  his  eyes  and  was  falling  into  a  doze  when 
suddenly  he  sat  bolt  upright,  every  faculty  alert,  his 
whole  attention  concentrated  on  the  machine.  Bishop 
was  talking  to  the  president  of  the  United  Steel  and 
Manufacturing  Co.,  and  the  president  of  the  P.  V.  & 
L.  R.  R.  Co.  Garrison's  name  was  mentioned.  They 
discussed  the  details  of  an  agreement.  The  U.  S.  &  M. 
Co.  was  trying  to  close  a  contract  with  Garrison  bind- 
ing him  to  deliver  a  certain  amount  of  coal  weekly 
and  imposing  a  ruinous  penalty  for  his  failure  to  do 
so.  The  P.  V.  &  L.  R.  R.  Co.,  which  controlled  the 
lines  over  which  Garrison  must  ship  his  coal,  would 
prevent  him  from  getting  enough  cars,  sidetrack  the 
cars  he  did  get,  and  by  any  other  means  that  might 
be  necessary  make  it  impossible  for  him  to  deliver  the 
coal.  The  purpose  of  this  arrangement  was  to  force 
Garrison  out  of  business  and  give  the  coal  trust  a  mo- 
nopoly. For  their  part  in  the  work  according  to  the 
agreement  the  P.  V.  &  L.  R.  R.  Co.  was  to  get  all  the 
freight  business  of  the  coal  trust.  The  U.  S.  &  M.  Co. 
was  to  get  a  rebate  on  the  price  they  paid  Garrison  for 
any  coal  that  he  did  succeed  in  delivering,  and  when 
he  was  put  out  of  business  their  coal  was  to  be  sup- 
plied by^the  trust  at  a  very  low  figure  for  a  number 
of  years.  The  terms  of  this  agreement  were  put  in 
writing  and  three  conspirators  signed  it.  The  written 
agreement  was  left  in  Bishop's  care  until  the  U.  S.  & 
M.  Co.  secured  the  signed  contract  from  Garrison. 

Scarcely  had  the  phonograph  told  the  story  of  the  plot 
when  Gilbert  received  Garrison's  telegram  instructing 
him  to  proceed  no  further  with  his  investigations. 

"He  is  walking  right  into  the  trap,"  thought  Gilbert, 
"but  he  has  not  signed  the  contract  yet.  He  must  not 
call  the  thing  off  at  once,  but  keep  up  negotiations." 


The  Business  Spy  23 

He  then  wired  Garrison  the  warninj?  not  to  sign  the 
contract. 

The  next  morning  as  Gilbert  was  halving  his  office 
he  was  called  to  the  telephone.  Garrison  wanted  to 
speak  to  him. 

"I  have  signed  the  contract,  IMr.  Gilbert,"  said 
Garrison.  "It  was  too  good  a  thing  to  let  go.  1 
thought " 

"AVhat?"  shouted  Gilbert.  "Didn't  you  get  my 
telegram  ? ' ' 

"Yes;    but  1  thought  you  didn't  know " 

"You're  a  fool,  Garrison,  a  big  fool.  It's  a  wonder 
the  trust  hasn't  gobbled  you  up  long  ago,"  replied 
Gilbert  angril3^ 

"Sir,"  came  the  indignant  reply,  "j'ou  wouldn't 
talk  like  that  in  my  presence.     What  do  j'ou  mean?" 

"The  coal  trust  wrote  that  contract  for  the  U.  S.  & 
M.  Co.,  and " 

"How's  that?" 

" the  P.  V.  &  L.  R.  R.  Co.  are  going  to  prevent 

you  from  delivering  the  coal." 

"My  God,  man,  I'm  ruined!" 

"Not  if  you  have  sense  enough  to  follow  my  direc- 
tions. Come  to  my  office  tomorrow  morning  at  10 
o'clock.  In  the  meantime  continue  your  preparations 
to  supply  coal  on  the  contract.  The  trust  people  must 
not  learn  that  you  know  that  they  have  trapped  you. 
Good  bye,"  and  Gilbert  rang  off. 

""Well,  this  is  getting  interesting,"  he  thought. 
"Garrison  does  not  really  deserve  to  be  pulled  out  of 
this;  but  it  will  be  worth  while  to  knock  in  the  head 
the  plans  of  those  respectable  gentlemen  who  flatter 
themselves  that  they  can  trifle  with  the  laws  of  justice 
as  easily  as  with  the  laws  of  their  servants,  the  legis- 
lators. We  shall  see  if  they  can.  But  Garrison  was  right ; 
we  shall  have  to  fight  the  devil  in  his  own  way." 

Gilbert  gathered  from  some  words  reproduced  by 
the  phonograph  that  Bishop's  chief  clerk  had  been 
authorized  to  employ  an  additional  book-keeper  and 
he  determined  to  get  the  job ;  for  a  man  on  the  inside 
has  an  obvious  advantage  over  a  man  on  the  outside 


24  Clever  Business  Sketches 

when  it  comes  to  getting  carefully  guarded  secrets. 

His  letter  of  introduction  from  President  Smith 
came  again  into  service;  but  this  time  he  presented 
it  to  the  chief  clerk  who  ushered  him  at  once  into  the 
presence  of  ]\Ir.  Bishop.  The  manager's  office  opened 
into  the  main  office.  Gilbert,  feared  that  Bishop  might 
have  received  connnunications  from  President  Smith 
tending  to  weaken  confidence  in  his  veracity.  When 
the  chief  clerk  left  them,  however,  he  boldly  asked  if 
President  Smith  had  sent  word  j^et  when  he  was  com- 
ing to  examine  his  invention.  Learning  that  the 
president  had  not  announced  the  time  of  his  coming 
and  that  it  was  Mr.  Bishop's  desire  that  he  never 
would  come  for  that  purpose,  and  his  earnest  wish 
never  to  hear  of  or  see  the  invention  again,  Gilbert, 
after  venturing  to  express  the  belief  that  he  w^ould  be- 
come intensely  interested  in  it  and  his  certain  convic- 
tion that  he  would  again  hear  of  it,  went  out  into  the 
main  office. 

Gilbert's  pleasant  smile  when  he  came  out  led  the 
chief  clerk  to  believe  that  he  had  had  a  very  satisfac- 
tory interview  with  ]\Ir.  Bishop. 

"I  applied  to  Mr.  Bishoj)  for  a  job  as  an  account- 
ant," said  Gilbert.  "He  requested  me  to  say  to  you 
that  if  you  have  not  yet  put  a  man  in  that  new  posi- 
tion, to  give  me  a  trial." 

"No.  I  have  not  filled  the  place,"  replied  the  chief 
clerk. 

"Then  I'm  in  luck,"  said  Gilbert.  "If  you  will 
outline  my  work,  I  shall  try  to  get  my  hand  in  to-day." 

Gilbert  was  pleased  to  note  that  when  seated  at  his 
desk  assigned  him  he  faced  the  door  of  Bishop's  of- 
fice. The  man  whom  the  chief  clerk  assigned  to  show 
Gilbert  his  duties,  concluded  that  he  was  the  mo.st  in- 
quisitive fellow  he  had  ever  met.  His  desire  to  be- 
come acquainted  with  the  details  of  his  work  was  not 
so  marked  as  his  eagerness  to  acquire  a  general  knowl- 
edge of  the  office  system  and  personnel.  His  persist- 
ence in  seeking  information  in  regard  to  the  manner 
and  place  in  which  the  records  of  the  manager's  office 
were  filed,  provoked  his  preceptor  to  inquire  sarcas- 


The  Business  Spy  25 

tically  if  he  had  any  designs  on  the  manager's  job. 

Gilbert,  however,  was  not  so  absorbed  either  in  his 
duties  or  his  iu(iuiries  as  to  fail  to  scrutinize  every 
person  who  entered  or  came  out  of  the  manager's  of- 
fice. Soon  after  his  instructor  left  him  to  work  out 
his  own  salvation,  ]^)ishop  came  out  hat  in  hand  and 
descended  in  the  elevator.  As  he  j^assed  through  the 
office,  Gilbert  realized  that  it  was  an  opportune  time 
to  put  the  lower  drawer  of  his  desk  in  order,  but  no 
sooner  was  Bishop  out  of  sight  than  he  lost  his  sud- 
denly acquired  interest  in  the  job. 

In  just  five  minutes  by  his  watch,  he  went  into  the. 
telephone  booth  and  called  up  Bishop's  private  secre- 
tary who  Avas  still  in  the  manager's  office. 

"This  is  the  Duquesne  Hotel,"  he  said  to  the  sec- 
retary. * '  Mr.  Bishop  has  stopped  in  here  and  he  wants 
you  to  come  at  once  and  take  some  dictation." 

Receiving  assurances  that  the  secretary  would  go 
immediately  to  the  hotel,  Gilbert  went  back  to  his  desk. 
A  moment  later  he  had  the  satisfaction  of  seeing  him 
come  out  and  enter  the  elevator. 

"Now  1  shall  have  at  least  fifteen  minutes,"  thought 
Gilbert,  as  he  walked  boldly  into  the  manager's  office 
and  closed  the  door.  After  pausing  a  moment  to  see 
if  he  was  followed,  he  Avent  rapidly  through  the  draw- 
ers and  pigeon  holes  of  the  manager's  desk.  Then  he 
turned  his  attention  to  an  open  safe  in  the  corner.  In 
a  moment,  he  uttered  an  exclamation  of  satisfaction. 
He  had  found  the  written  agreement  signed  by  the 
three  conspirators. 

He  thrust  it  in  his  pocket.  Arising  from  his  stoop- 
ing posture,  he  stood  face  to  face  with  the  chief  clerk. 

"What  are  you  doing  in  that  safe?"  inquired  the 
chief  clerk  sternly. 

"Nothing.  You  didn't  see  me  do  anything,  did 
you?"  replied  Gilbert,  with  a  forced  laugh,  parrying 
for  time  in  which  to  frame  a  plausible  explanation. 

"No?"  said  the  chief  clerk  coldly. 

"Don't  get  sarcastic,"  said  Gilbert,  with  a  wave  of 
his  hand.  "I  came  in  after  this" — reaching  in  his 
pocket  where  he  had  put  the  agreement,  but  bringing 


26  Clever  Business  Sketches 

out  instead  his  forged  letter  of  introduction  from 
President  Smith — "you  have  read  it.  I  left  it  here 
with  ;Mr.  Bishop,  but  it  occurred  to  me  a  moment  ago 
that  I  would  want  it  tonight  to  present  to  a  personal 
friend  of  President  Smith's — perhaps  you  know  that 
I  am  the  president's  nephew — so  I  came  in  here  to  get 
it.  I  thought  that  ]\Ir.  Bishop  was  here,  but  when  I 
found  him  out,  and  the  safe  door  open — I  saw  him  put 
it  in  there — I  took  it.  ^Vnd,"  he  continued  indig- 
nantly, "I  don't  like  being  jacked  up  as  if  1  were  a 
thief.  You  see  the  cash  drawer  is  locked.  I  didn't 
get  the  money." 

The  chief  clerk  apologized,  begged  him  to  consider 
that  he  was  prompted  by  a  sense  of  duty,  and  forced 
him  to  admit  that  his  actions  were  suspicious. 

Accepting  the  apology  with  an  air  of  a  man  who  can 
afford  to  be  magnanimous,  Gilbert  went  back  to  his 
desk  and  took  up  his  work. 

A  few  minutes  later  jMr.  Bishop's  secretary  returned 
and  hastened  into  the  private  office.  He  came  out  im- 
mediately and  held  a  whispered  consultation  with  the 
chief  clei'k.     Thoy  both  re-entered  the  private  office. 

Gilbert  seized  his  hat  and  made  a  hasty  exit.  As  he 
went  out  the  street  door  he  met  Bishop  coming  in.  A 
half  block  away  he  found  his  cab  which  w'as  waiting 
for  him  and  was  driven  rapidly  to  his  offices  on  Smith- 
field  street. 

The  next  morning  in  company  with  Garrison,  Gil- 
bert called  on  the  president  of  the  P.  V.  &  L.  R.  R.  Co. 
Briefly  Garri.son  stated  their  business.  They  desired 
him  to  sign  a  contract.  They  had  it  written  out  in 
full.  The  president  adjusted  his  glasses  and  settled 
back  in  his  chair  to  read  it.  Gilbert  watched  his  face 
closely.  The  terms  of  the  contract  bound  the  railroad 
company  to  deliver  Garri.son's  coal  to  the  U.  S.  &  M. 
Co.  at  the  same  price  that  the  trust  was  to  get  as 
stated  in  the  written  agreement.  It  also  imposed  a 
penalty  for  any  delay  or  failure  to  deliver  the  coal  of 
the  exact  amount  that  Garrison  was  bound  to  pay  by 
his  contract.  When  the  president  came  to  this  part 
of  the  contract  he  flashed  a  look  of  inquiry  at  Garri- 


The  Business  Spy  27 

son.  Did  he  know  the  terms  of  the  secret  agreement  or 
was  it  a  mere  coincidence?  When  he  finished  reading 
the  contract,  the  president  with  a  great  show  of  indig- 
nation informed  the  gentk^men  that  before  he  would 
sign  it  he  would  see  them  consigned  to  a  region  where 
they  woukl  need  no  coal. 

"I'll  bet  you  sign  in  five  minutes,"  said  Gilbert, 
looking  at  him  steadily. 

"You're  a  fool,"  replied  the  president,  meeting  his 
gaze  without  flinching. 

"If  you  sign  it,  Mr.  Garrison  can  carry  out  his  very 
profitable  contract  with  the  U.  S.  &  ]\I.  Co.,  and  be  in  a 
position  to  defy  the  coal  trust, ' '  suggested  Gilbert  with 
a  smile. 

"I  am  not  interested  in  IMr.  Garrison's  contracts. 
If  he  has  made  a  good  one,  that  is  no  reason  why  I 
should  make  a  bad  one,"  said  the  president. 

"But  I  take  it  from  this,"  said  Gilbert,  holding  up 
the  written  agreement  which  he  had  taken  from 
Bishop's  safe  so  that  the  president  could  see  the  three 
signatures,  "that  you  are  interested  in  it." 

The  president  sprang  to  his  feet. 

"How  did  you  get  that?"  he  demanded. 

"Never  mind  how  I  got  it,"  said  Gilbert,  rising  and 
looking  him  squarely  in  the  eye.  "Will  you  sign  this 
contract  or  shall  we  enter  suit  against  you  and  the 
others  for  conspiracy?  You  have  two  minutes  more 
in  which  to  act." 

The  president  noted  the  resolute,  aggressive  stamp 
of  Gilbert's  features.  He  cursed  his  folly  for  having 
been  induced  against  his  own  judgment  to  have  the 
terms  of  the  agreement  put  in  WTiting  and  signed. 
Gilbert  held  his  watch  in  his  hand.  He  glanced  from 
it  to  the  president  inquiringly.  The  president  took  up 
the  contract,  hesitated  a  moment,  and  then  signed  it. 

"So  long  as  you  keep  the  terms  of  this  contract," 
said  Gilbert,  putting  it  in  his  pocket,  "the  written 
proof  of  your  conspiracy  will  be  safe  in  my  keeping. 
But  break  either  the  spirit  or  the  letter  of  the  contract 
and — but  I  know  you  won't,  ]\Ir.  President,  of  course 
not,"  and  Gilbert  and  Garrison  bowed  themselves  out. 


THE  STRIPED  TOURISTS. 

BY   MONTAGUE   GLASS. 

Abe  Potash,  of  Potash  &  Perlmuiter,  jobbers  and 
wholesalers  of  ladies'  cloaks  and  suits,  stood  in  front 
of  his  store,  ready  and  willing  to  greet  customers,  but 
none  came.  Instead,  Louis  Miutz,  manufacturers' 
drummer,  rushed  across  the  street,  dodging  two  trolley 
cars  and  an  automobile  in  his  progress,  and  grasped 
him  warmly  by  the  hand. 

Now  Louis'  lay  was  sympathy,  and  he  made  haste 
to  put  it  in  practice  with  Abe  Potash. 

"Well,  Abie,  my  boy,"  he  said,  "you  look  like 
you'd  struck  the  high  and  dry  place  between  a  fail- 
ure and  a  fire.    "What's  the  trouble?" 

Abe  disengaged  his  right  hand  from  Louis'  cordial 
embrace,  and  backed  away  hurriedly. 

"Please,"  he  protested,  "no  jokes.  Enough's 
enough.  The  last  time  j^ou  was  here,  you  made  some 
fine  jokes  for  Perl  mutter,  and  we  got  them  striped 
tourists'  coats  yet." 

Louis  looked  grieved. 

*  *  Why,  they  're  my  best  sellers,  Abie.  If  1  'd  thought 
you  was  going  to  get  stuck  with  them  tourists,  I  'd  uv 
eat  'em  first." 

"Eat  'em  now, "  Abe  suggested.  "  'Tain 't  too  late. 
They're  all  there,  just  where  your  expressman  left 
them." 

The  troubled  look  on  Louis'  face  grew  almost  ago- 
nizing in  its  intensity. 

"Now,  that  ain't  no  way,  Abe,"  he  grumbled. 
"Perlmutter  bought  thom,  and  Perlmutter's  your 
partner." 

"M}'-  partner?"  Potash  cried,  nnd  his  bushy  eye- 
brows elevated  themselves  so  far,  that  it  seemed  im- 
possible for  them  to  descend  again  without  surgical 
assistance. 

He  seized  Mintz  by  the  coat  and  dragged  him  into 
the  store, 
28 


Tlie  Striped  Tourist 


29 


"Come,"  he  said  oapjorly,  "I  want,  you  should  hear 
some  things.    You  shall  judge  it  between  us." 

"Hold  on,  there,  Abe,"  Louis  cried,  struggling  to 
free  himself.    "That's  a  new  suit." 

"I'll  buy  you  another,"  Abe  said,  releasing  his 
grasp  on  the  drummer's  coat,  "if  you  take  back  them 
tourists. ' ' 

He  led  the  way  to  the  office  in  the  rear. 

"You  ain't  in  no  hurry,  no?"  he  commenced. 
"Then  sit  down.  Here,  have  some  cigars,"  he 
pulled  a  handful  from  his  pocket.  "Take  'em  all,  I 
don't  smoke." 

"Much  obliged,  Abie.  "What  are  you  doing?  Buy- 
ing cigars  for  the  drummers?" 

"Me  buy  cigars  for  drummers?"  Abe  cried  indig- 


"Ee  seized  Mintz  by  the  coat ' ' 

nantly.  "I  catch  myself.  I  don't  buy  no  cigars  for 
nobody.  All  such  things,  such  nonsense,  I  leave  for 
Perlmutter. ' ' 

Louis  lit  one  of  the  cigars  and  blew  a  great  cloud 
of  smoke. 

"Where's  Perlmutter  now?"  he  asked.  "Is  he 
out?" 

Potash  laughed  a  hollow,  mirthless  guffaw. 

"No,  Louis,"  he  replied.  "Perlmutter  ain't  out. 
I  am  out.  Abe  Potash  is  out.  Business  ain't  bad 
enough,  Louis;    collections  ain't  slow  enough,  Louis; 


30  Clever  Business  Sketches 

sales  ain't  falling  off  enough,  Louis;  but  that  big 
fool,  that  crazy  Perlmutter,  ho  gets  it  into  his  head 
he  must  go  off  and  get  married." 

Potash  gained  heat  as  he  proceeded,  and  punctu- 
ated each  enough,  with  a  bang  of  his  fist. 

"Is  Morris  Perlmutter  married?"  Louis  exclaimed. 

"So  sure  as  you  smoke  them  cigars  from  his  wed- 
ding," Potash  said  solemnly.  "Perlmutter  is  mar- 
ried and  away  on  his  wedding  tower.  He  got  to  have 
a  tower,  too,  Louis.  When  I  was  married  I  had  tow- 
ers, too,  you  believe  me,  Louis.  ]\Iy  wife  and  me,  we 
don't  know  what  towers  is,  when  we  got  married.  But 
Perlmutter  he  must  have  everything.  Towers  he 
must  have,   with  IMeyer  Rothschild's  daughter." 

"Of  Rothschild  &'Pollak?"  Louis  asked. 

"That's  them,"  Potash  assented,  "Rothschild  & 
Pollak.     You  know  'em,  Louis?" 

Louis  nodded. 

' '  Then  I  don 't  have  to  tell  you  that  Rothschild 's  a 
pollak,  but  Pollak  ain't  no  Rothschild,  Louis,  no  siree. 
Pollak  is  one  plain  crook, — two  fires  in  Milwaukee  and 
a  failure  in  Toledo.  Nice  people  they  are,  Louis,  be- 
lieve me." 

"And  where  did  Perlmutter  go  with  his  bride?" 
Louis  inquired. 

"Ask  me  where  he  goes?"  Potash  grunted.  "At- 
lanta, Philadelphia,  Paltimore,  Washington  and  Old 
Point  Comfort.  When  I  was  married,  I  went  with  my 
Rosie  to  Old  Point  Comfort,  Louis.  Believe  me  I  was 
happy  we  could  go  to  two  rooms  on  Third  street.  But 
then  I  married  a  common-sense  girl,  Louis ;  not  so 
stj'lish,  but  a  good  cook,  y'  understand.  I  give  you 
my  word,  Louis,  we  was  by  Rothschild's  for  dinner 
last  week,  and  T  thought  T  was  poisoned.  Perlmutter 
says  Minnie  Rothschild  cooked  that  dinner  all  by  her- 
self. I  don't  know  if  he  speaks  the  truth  or  not, 
Loius, — Perlmutter  is  such  a  liar  you  can't  depend 
on  him  from  one  word  to  another, — but  if  she  did 
cook  that  dinner,  Louis,  then  Perlmutter  has  as  good 
as  committed  suicide." 


The  Striped  Tourist  31 

Here  Potash  was  interrupted  by  the  postman 's  whis- 
tle. 

"Don't  go,  Louis,"  he  apologized;  "I'll  get  them 
letters  and  come  right  back." 

He  returned  a  moment  later  with  three  letters. 

"Ain't  that  the  funniest  thing,  Louis?"  he  said. 
"Here's  three  letlei-s  from  rt^rlnuittcr ;  one  from  At- 
lanta, one  from  Baltimore,  and  one  from  Philadelphia. 

"Three  of  a  kind,"  Louis  commented. 

"No  good  to  me,  Louis,"  Potash  murmured.  "I 
might  as  well  throw  'em  in  the  discard." 

He  opened  the  letter  from  Atlanta  first. 

"I'll  read  it  to  you,  Louis,"  he  explained.  "I  aint' 
got  no  secrets  from  nobody." 

He  adjusted  his  glasses  at  the  proper  angle  and 
commenced : 
"Mr.  A.  Potash:  • 

"Friend  Abe:  I  trust  this  letter  finds  you  well. 
The  same  I  can  assure  you.  Well,  Abe,  we  are  in  At- 
lanta. ]\Iinnie  thought  we  should  go  right  through  to 
Atlanta  and  make  Washington,  Baltimore  and  Phila- 
delphia on  our  way  back,  as  we  can  stay  in  Atlanta 
over  Sunday  and  maybe  do  some  business." 

Potash  looked  up  from  his  reading. 

"A  bluff,"  he  snapped.  "She  cares  a  lot  about 
business. ' ' 

"Go  ahead  with  your  letter,"  said  Louis,  and  Pot- 
ash started  in  again. 

"Well,  Abe,  I  seen  Mishkind  this  a.  m.  and  he  ain't 
buying  no  striped  tourists." 

"Sure  not,"  Potash  commented,  bitterly. 

"He  wants  you  should  ship  him  by  express  dupli- 
cate order  1423.  Only  you  should  send  8  doz.  lot  4080 
instead  of  4  as  last  month.  Inclosed  please  find  Rabi- 
ner's  check  for  $525.  He  says  I  should  make  it  10  off 
30  days  and  5  ex.  But  I  told  him  that  people  what  is 
such  slow  pay  like  him  must  ask  no  favors  from  no- 
bodj^  Yours  respectfully, 

"IMorris  Perlmutter. 

"P.  S. — How's  business  in  the  store?" 

He  folded  the  letter  and  threw  it  on  the  desk. 


32 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


"]\Iawruss  done  Avell  in  getting  that  money,  Louis. 
The  boy  done  well." 

Louis  nodded  again. 

"He's  a  good  boy,  Louis,  only  a  little  wild.  May- 
be— I  don't  know — marriage  makes  a  man  out  of  him. 
What,  Louis?" 

"Maybe,"  Louis  answered  enigmatically. 

"Well,  here's  the  next,"  Abe  said,  and  commenced 
to  read  the  Baltimore  letter. 
"Mr.  A.  Potash: 

"Friend  Abe:  Well,  Abe,  we  had  a  good  time  in 
Atlanta  and  it  is  a  good  live  town.  We  got  to  Balto 
this  a.  m.  and  Rosenberg  said  he  ain't  using  no 
stripes." 

"What  did  I  tell  you?"  Abe  cried. 

"I  enclose  his  order  on  separate  sheet.  $1,222.24 
ain't  so  bad.     Also  order  from  Finkelbein  $840.75. 


"And  she  cooked  tJiat  dinner  all  by  herself" 

Elenbogen  &  Klein  $942.80.    We  expect  to  see  Kinst- 
ler  this  p.  m.  before  leaving  for  Phila. 

"Yours  in  haste,  M.  Perlmutter. 

"P.  S. — I  hope  everything  is  0.  K.  in  store." 

Potash  closed  the  letter  with  a  smile. 

"I  tell  you,  Louis,  when  a  young  man  grows  up,  like 
Mawruss.  it's  only  right  he  should  find  a  nice  girl  like 
Minnio  Rothschild,  and  get  married.  It  gives  him 
something  to  work  for.    Am  I  right  or  wrong,  Louis?" 

"Let's  hear  the  next  one,"  Louis  said,  and  Abe 
opened  the  last  letter. 


The  Striped  Tourist  33 

"  Mr.  Abraham  Potash  :  "  Philada. 

"  Friend  Al)e :  Well,  Abe,  Finkclbcin  says  you  should 
double  up  on  lot  4080.  This  makes  his  order  $1,329.  Ship 
at  once.  Stripes  ain't  no  f,'oo(l  in  Philadelphia,  too.  Levy 
&  Marcus,  The  Fair  and  Square  Store,  Herman  Block  and 
M.  Fishlowitz  orders  on  the  other  side.  Home  Sunday. 
"  Resp.,  M.  Perlmutter. 

"Regards  to  all  friends  in  store." 

"When  a  man's  got  a  good  live  partner,  Louis," 
Abe  said,  beaming,  "business  is  always  good,  ain't  it? 
I  tell  you,  Louis,  the  only  thing  the  matter  with  Maw- 
russ  was  that  he  don't  get  married.  If  I  say  it  once, 
I  say  it  a  thousand  times,  'Mawruss,  why  ain't  you 
got  married?  Be  a  man,  Mawruss.'  And  he  took  my 
advice,  Louis,  and  he's  got  a  nice  girl,  a  good  girl  and 
a  good  cook,  too.  I  give  you  my  word,  Louis,  my  Rosie 
is  a  good  cook;  but  Minnie  Rothschild,  that's  a  good 
cook.     Excuse  me  while  I  answer  the  phone." 

He  took  down  a  receiver  as  the  bell  trilled  impa- 
tiently. 

"Hallo,  hallo.  Yes, — this  is  Potash  and  Perlmut- 
ter. Yes, — Oh,  wie  gehts,  Mr.  Pollak.  How's  Mr. 
Rothschild?  That's  good.  Have  we  any  striped  tour- 
ists?    I'll  see." 

He  covered  the  transmitter  with  his  hand,  and 
winked  solemnly  at  Louis.  Then  he  resumed  the  tele- 
phone conversation. 

"Hallo,  Mr.  Pollak.  I  think  I  can  let  you  have 
some.  No,  I  ain't  got  many,  only  two  gross.  "Why, 
no,  Mr.  Pollak,  that  ain't  many.  I'll  ship  'em  to  you 
this  afternoon.  Much  obliged,  Mr.  Pollak.   Good-bye." 

He  hung  up  the  receiver  with  a  profound  sigh. 

"Louis,"  he  said,  earnestly,  "that  Mr.  Pollak, 
that's  one  fine  gentleman.  Comes  from  fine  people, 
y 'understand,  on  the  other  side.  That's  a  fine  concern, 
Rothschild  and  Pollak ;  gilt  edge  A  number  one.  You 
know  Mr,  Rothschild?  That's  Mawruss'  father-in- 
law.    Sure.    Well,  good  bye,  Louis." 

"How  about  some  more  of  them  striped  tourists, 
Abe?" 

"That's  right,  Louis.  I  come  near  forgetting  all 
about  it.    Just  duplicate  that  order." 


BILL   SICKLES— LAZY   MAN. 

BY   EDWARD   BLOMEYER. 

Illustrations  by  Ernest  Adams. 

He  came  to  us  in  one  of  the  annual,  before  Christ- 
mas, "round-ups"  of  extra  help — a  long,  lanky,  half- 
starved  looking  individual,  with  a  big,  square  jaw  and 
a  pair  of  steel  gray  eyes  that  bored  into  you  like  a 
pair  of  gimlets  when  he  looked  at  you;  the  laziest 
awkwardest,  easiest-going,  best  natured  specimen  of 
the  man-animal  it  has  ever  been  my  fortune  to  run 
across,  and  I've  met  several.  His  speech  was  hardly 
more  than  a  drawl;  he  said  "wa'll"  for  "well"  and 
talked  through  his  nose  with  the  inborn  facility  found 
only  in  the  true  native  of  old  New  England.  The 
boss,  as  was  usual,  had  advertised  for  a  bunch  of  new 
men  to  help  get  out  the  holiday  rush  orders,  and 
among  the  first  to  line  up  outside  the  private  office 
door  that  morning  was  this  William  Sickles — called 
"Bill"  for  short,  and,  when  we  got  to  know  him, 
"Lazy  Bill,"  which  described  him  better. 

The  boss  got  down  late  that  morning,  and  his  tem- 
per, which  never  graded  more  than  GO  per  cent  per- 
fect when  he  was  in  the  best  of  humor,  was  in  shape 
to  raise  the  hair  on  the  heads  of  the  boldest  of  the 
office  force — who  knew  him  by  bitter  experience.  But 
black  looks  and  heavy  frowns  worried  Bill  not  at  all ; 
when  his  turn  came  for  inspection  he  sauntered  into 
the  office  with  all  the  ease  and  grace  of  a  millionaire 
boarding  his  private  yacht,  and  dropped  coolly  and 
calmly  into  a  softly  upholstered  chair  by  the  old 
man's  desk. 

"Stand  up!"  roared  the  boss,  getting  red  in  the 
face;  "what  the  blankety-blank  d'ye  think  this  is — 
a  tea  party?" 

Bill  stood  up  and  leaned  against  the  desk. 

The  old  man  looked  hira  over  with  a  face  like  a 
thunder  cloud. 
34 


Bill  Sicldcs — Lazij  Man 


35 


"Well,"  he  growled, 
"what  can  you  do?" 

Bill  smiled  sweetly. 
"What  hev  ye  got  to  do?" 
he  chirped. 

"Little     of     everything," 
snorted    the    boss.       "Talk 
quieic,  man!    ]\Iy  time's  val- 
uable!" 
Then   he    drawled,    "Wa'll, 

Bill    thought    a    moment. 

I  kin  do  it." 

"Do  it,"  fumed  the  old 
man,  "do  what?" 

"Little   of   everything." 

The  boss  came  near  ex- 
ploding, lie  got  redder  and 
redder,  and  he  sputtered 
and  steamed  like  a  teakettle 
on  a  red-hot  stove.  He 
chewed  savagely  on  his  cigar 
as  he  gave  the  call  button  on 
his  desk  a  vicious  punch. 
'Here,  Johnson,"  he  howl- 
ed, as  the  door  opened  and 
Johnson's  head  stuck  timidly  in,  ready  to  dodge  if 
necessary,  "take  this  man  and  murder  him — give  him 
a  thousand  dollars — put  him  to  work — anything,  man, 
so  long  as  you  get  him  aw-ay  from  here  before  I  hurt 
him  !     Scat — both  of  you !     I  'm  busy. ' ' 

Johnson  was  so  badly  scared  that  he  missed  all  of 
the  instructions  but  the  last,  and  he  followed  that  part 
literally,  and  put  Bill  to  work. 

It  turned  out  that  Bill  was  a  pretty  good  hand 
with  a  marking  brush,  so  Johnson  sent  him  down  to 
the  shipping  department,  where  they  were  all  work- 
ing eighteen  hours  a  day  to  move  the  holiday  pile-up. 
The  shipping  boss  put  Bill  in  a  little  ante-room  all  to 
himself,  gave  him  a  brush  and  a  can  of  lamp-black, 
and  told  him  to  go  as  far  as  he  liked.  Bill  went  to 
work. 


■Bill  Sickles" 


36  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Three  or  four  days  later  the  head  shipper  got  a  mo- 
ment's  spare  time  and  wandered  into  the  little  room 
to  see  how  his  new  hand  was  getting  along.  He  found 
Bill  perched  comfortably  on  an  empty  packing  case, 
his  feet  on  another,  drawing  lazily  on  an  old  cob  pipe, 
and  reading  the  "Wholesaler's  Gazette." 

"Great  melting  beeswax!"  howled  Bill's  boss, 
"What  in  the  hop-one-and-skip-two  do  you  mean  by 
settin'  up  there  like  a  knot  on  a  log  when  there's  all 
this  work  to  do  ?    Come  down  off  that  box,  you  blink- 

ety-blinked  lazy,  good  for  nothing " 

Bill  interrupted  his  irate  superior  with  a  lazy  wave 
of  his  hand.  "You  see  them  air  boxes,  don't  ye?"  he 
inquired  good  naturedly,  indicating  a  huge  pile  of 
shipping  cases  reaching  clear  to  the  ceiling  across  the 
room. 

"Yes— yes— " 

'Wa'll,  they're  all  marked,  ain't  they?" 
The  boss  went  closer  and  took  a  look.  They  were 
all  marked — marked  well,  too,  with  neat  figures  and 
letters  that  looked  more  like  print  than  hand  work. 
The  boss  turned  to  Bill  inquiringly.  "Well—"  he 
began. 

"That's  a  day's  work,"  volunteered  Bill,  "all  done 
this  morning.  You  see,  I  diskivered  that  we  was  a 
shippin'  goods  day  after  day  to  the  same  people,  an' 
so  1  jest  up  an'  cut  me  a  bunch  o'  stencil  sheets  the 
other  day.  Now  all  I  hev  to  do  is  to  jest  slap  the 
sheet  on  the  box  an'  run  the  brush  over  it,  an'  it's 
done.  When  I  run  across  a  new  address,  I  make  me 
a  new  stencil — an'  the  balance  of  the  time,  I  rest." 

This  all  happened  years  ago,  remember,  before  the 
introduction  of  the  multitudinous  devices  now  in  use 
for  the  shortening  of  work,  and  even  such  a  simple 
little  thing  as  a  stencil  was  not  then  in  general  use  by 
the  big  shippers.  Well,  the  upshot  of  the  matter  was 
that,  after  the  head  shipper  had  calmed  down  enough 
to  investigate  Bill's  work,  he  liked  it  so  well  that  he 
had  stencils  made  right  away  for  every  customer  the 
firm  had.  There  had  been  four  men,  including  Bill, 
kept  busy  nailing  lids  on  boxes  and  marking  them, 


Bill  Sickles — Lazy  Man 


37 


"He  found  Bill  perched  on  an  empty  packing  hox,  drawing  on 
an  old  cob-pipe" 

and  when  the  stencils  were  put  in  use,  it  was  found 
that  three  could  do  the  work.  One  man  had  to  go,  and 
as  Bill  was  the  newest,  he  found  himself  out  of  a  job. 
Lost  his  job,  did  I  say?  Well,  not  exactly,  either — 
the  manager  of  the  first  stock  floor  knew  a  good  thing 
when  he  saw  it,  and  he  gobbled  up  Bill  and  put  him 
to  work  as  a  stock  clerk  at  two  dollars  more  on  the 
week. 


38  Clever  Busiyiess  Sketches 

Bill  might  have  been  lazy,  but  he  was  an  easy 
learner,  and  in  sax  months  he  had  the  run  of  the  first 
stock  floor — hardware  and  builder's  supplies — so  well 
that  he  could- shut  his  eyes  and  tell  off  the  stock  num- 
bers without  skipping  even  a  brass  headed  screw. 
Now,  the  firm  is  an  old  one,  which  has  grown  up  by 
gradual  stages  from  a  very  small  beginning,  and  in 
some  instances  the  handling  system  has  not  kept  pace 
with  the  growth  of  the  business.  The  stock  rooms 
were  at  that  time  a  fair  sample  of  this  non-j)rogres- 
sion.  When  an  order  was  received,  the  order  depart- 
ment made  from  it  a  slip  for  each  floor,  showing  the 
goods  necessary  from  that  department  to  fill  the  order; 
tlie  head  stock  man  of  the  floor  assigned  a  copy  of  his 
slip  to  the  fir-st  stock  clerk  iniemployed.  The  clerk 
filled  the  order  complete,  and  run  the  basket  contain- 
ing the  goods  onto  the  elevator,  which  carried  it  and 
a  copy  of  the  packing  slip  down  into  the  shipping 
room. 

Bill  worked  all  right  for  a  time,  then  the  lazy  bug 
bit  him  again,  and  when  the  lazy  bug  bit  Bill  it 
seemed  always  to  bite  him  on  the  head,  for  right  away 
his  noggin  commenced  to  churn  out  schemes  for  saving 
Avork.  He  smoked  a  few  pipefuls  of  "twi.st"  over 
the  matter,  and  then  he  went  to  the  boss  with  a  plan 
v'hich  was  simplicity  itself.  lie  figured  that  if  each 
man  was  given  only  a  certain  section  of  the  floor  to 
attend  to,  and  the  first  man  getting  the  order  filled  it 
complete  from  his  section,  and  then  passed  the  basket 
on  to  the  section  nearest  him,  the  eleven  men  on  that 
floor  would  save  a  good  deal  of  the  time  they  used  in 
running  all  over  the  room,  to  say  nothing  of  the  ad- 
vantage to  one  William  Sickles,  who  intended,  if 
possible,  to  get  a  department  so  small  that  he  could 
reach  oxe.ry  corner  of  it  while  sitting  down. 

The  first  floor  manager  was  a  progressive  sort  of  a 
fellow,  and  he  took  to  the  i(Jea  like  a  Dutchman  does 
to  beer.  It  was  .so  successful  that  the  floor  could  get 
along  with  ten  men  instead  of  eleven — and  the  elev- 
enth man  was  Bill.  So  it  was  another  case  of  "Move 
on.  Bill." 


Bill  Sickles — Lazy  Man  ^^ 

About  that  time  one  of  the  boys  in  the  order  de- 
partment decided  to  seek  pastures  new,  and  as  it  was 
a  rule  of  the  house  never  to  employ  an  outsider  wlien 
a  place  could  be  filled  by  an  available  man  from  an- 
other department,  the  manager  of  the  order  depart- 
ment immediately  set  up  a  howl  for  a  man  to  fill  the 
vacancy.  Bill,  being  at  the  moment  on  the  wing,  as  it 
were,  was  sent  in  to  take  the  place. 

The  head  of  the  order  department  looked  the  new 
recruit  over  with  a  sad,  far-away  expression  in  his 
eyes.  Then  he  lifted  up  his  voice  and  expressed  him- 
self most  volubly  and  sarcastically.  His  remarks  were 
to  the  effect  that  it  was  his  own  private  and  indi- 
vidual opinion  that  the  gentleman  before  him  would 
make  much  more  of  a  success  in  life  if  he  were  per- 
manently engaged  in  that  delightful  rural  pastime 
sometimes  jocularly  referred  to  as  "Gee-hawing  old 
Beck,"  the  principal  implements  employed  being  a 
mule  and  a  plow.  However,  he  added,  as  he  had  no 
, choice  in  the  matter,  he  would  put  the  gentleman  to 
work — which  he  did. 

Bill's  first  work  in  the  order  department  was  to 
enter  all  orders  received  in  the  register,  in  which  was 
written  the  date  and  number  of  the  order,  and  the 
name  and  address  of  the  customer.  In  fact,  the  man 
in  charge  of  the  order  register  was  supposed  to  keep 
track  of  all  the  orders  in  process  of  being  filled,  and 
to  jog  up  the  stock  room  men  a  bit  when  a  shipment 
was  delayed.  It  took  Bill  just  three  months  to  get 
tired  of  turning  and  re-turning  the  pages  of  the  im- 
mense book  in  his  charge,  and  he  cast  about  him  for  a 
remedy  for  this — to  him — unnecessary  labor.  He  hit 
upon  the  card  system,  which  was  at  that  time  just 
becoming  fairly  well  known,  and  rigged  up  for  him- 
self a  home-made  card  cabinet,  in  which  he  placed  a 
card  to  represent  each  order  being  filled.  It  was  his 
idea  that,  as  soon  as  the  shipment  had  been  made,  to 
file  away  the  card  representing  the  order,  indexed  by 
the  names  of  the  customers.  He  went  to  the  manager 
with  his  sample  outfit  and  received  permission  to  put 
it  into  use.    But  it  soon  developed  that  this  new  sys- 


40  Clever  Business  Sketches 

tem  made  the  work  so  simple  that  another  one  of  the 
clerks  could  handle  it  jn  addition  to  his  own  work, 
and  so  they  sent  Bill  down  to  the  mailing  room. 

Bill  stayed  in  the  mailing  department  four  days, 
and  one  of  these  he  spent  down  in  the  shipping  room, 
making  some  cabinets  of  pigeon  holes.  AVhcn  he  in- 
stalled the  cabinets,  which  provided  a  pigeon  hole  for 
each  regular  customer,  and  had  received  permission 
to  put  into  effect  a  rule  that  all  mail  for  each  cus- 
tomer should  go  into  his  pigeon  hole  and  then  into 
one  envelope  each  day,  saving  not  only  time,  but  sta- 
tionery and  postage,  the  head  mailing  clerk  decided 
that  he  didn't  need  an  extra  man  after  all.  He  called 
Bill  out  to  one  side,  gave  him  his  blessing  and  a  large, 
black  cigar,  and  sent  him  back  to  the  order  depart- 
ment with  his  compliments  to  its  manager.  Bill  gave 
the  manager  the  cigar,  and  the  manager  gave  Bill  a 
job  making  out  invoices. 

At  that  time  the  firm  had  a  very  simple  invoicing 
system,  which  consisted  of  merely  making  the  invoice, 
in  duplicate,  from  the  stock-room  filing  records;  the 
duplicate  invoice  was  the  house's  permanent  record 
of  the  sale.  Bill  wrote  out  invoices  until  he  was 
threatened  wuth  the  writer's  cramp,  then  his  fertile 
brain  became  busy  again.  After  pondering  the  mat- 
ter for  a  time,  he  went  to  the  manager  with  the  sug- 
gestion that,  since  it  was  necessary  to  copy  each  order 
to  get  the  stock-room  filing  records,  he  might  as  well 
make  two  additional  carbon  copies  at  the  same  time, 
the  first  to  be  on  a  regular  invoice  blank.  The  cata- 
logue price  of  each  article  should  be  shown  on  all  of 
the  copies  made,  but  the  extension  columns  would  be 
left  blank.  "When  all  the  shipping  tickets  were  re- 
ceived, showing  the  goods  sent,  and  those  not  in  stock, 
he  would  fill  in  on  the  first  and  second  sheets,  in  the 
extension  columns,  the  charges  for  the  article  shipped, 
and  write  the  word  "Out"  when  the  article  was  not 
sent.  By  this  plan,  Bill  figured,  he  would  save  him- 
self an  immense  amount  of  work,  and  still  leave  a 
job  for  him  to  hold.  The  plan  seemed  feasible,  and  it 
was  tried.    It  worked  well ;  so  well,  in  fact,  that  they 


Bill  SicJdcs — Lazjj  Man  41 

found  thoy  could  get  along  without  liill,  and  the  man- 
ager of  the  order  department  sent  him  over  to  the 
head  accountant  with  the  suggestion  that  he,  the  ac- 
countant, miglit  as  Avell  resign  and  give  Bill  his  job 
right  away,  for  he  would  get  it  sooner  or  later  any- 
way. The  head  accountant  was  willing  to  risk  it,  and 
Bill  started  in  with  a  vim  to  learn  bookkeeping  before 
the  lazy  bug  settled  on  him  again. 

In  the  five  years  that  followed  his  move  to  the  ac- 
counting department,  Bill  held  almost  every  clerical 
position  that  the  firm  had  to  offer,  short  of  a  depart- 
ment managership.  A  great  fellow,  he  was;  always 
planning  some  way  to  cut  down  his  own  work,  and 
never  failing  to  cut  down  the  company's  expense  ac- 
count at  the  same  time.  It  was  Bill  who  pleaded  for 
the  adding  machines,  the  billing  machines,  the  time 
recorders,  filing  cabinets,  and  all  the  various  devices 
that  lessened  our  work  by  a  fourth,  and  doubled  our 
efficiency.  It  was  Bill  who,  when  out  of  a  job  one 
time,  created  the  position  of  "Trouble  Finder" — the 
man  who  goes  around  the  house  and  turns  off  all  the 
unnecessary  lights,  cuts  off  the  heat  that  is  not  needed, 
and,  by  watching  all  the  seemingly  insignificant  little 
expenses,  saves  the  house  twice  his  salary  every  month. 
But  Bill  lost  even  that  place,  for  when  the  head  of  the 
order  department  died,  the  old  man  called  in  William 
Sickles  and  made  him  department  manager. 

I  was  sorry  to  lose  track  of  Bill  when  I  left  the  firm 
and  moved  to  a  distant  city ;  I  was  interested  in 
watching  his  lazy,  resourceful  progress.  So  when,  last 
month,  I  happened  to  be  back  in  the  old  town  again, 
I  went  around  to  the  place  to  shake  hands  with  the 
few  of  the  old-timers  who  were  still  in  the  firm's  em- 
ploy. One  of  the  boys  obligingly  took  an  hour's  time 
from  his  work  to  show  me  around  the  store,  and  1 
became  so  interested  in  noting  the  many  improve- 
ments that  had  been  made  in  the  twelve  years  since  I 
had  left  that  Bill's  fate  completely  slipped  my  mem- 
ory until  my  friend  and  I  stood  chatting  for  a  mo- 
ment as  I  prepared  to  leave. 


42  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"By  the  way,"  I  asked,  "what  ever  became  of  that 
good  iiatiirod  euss  we  had  around  here  when  I  left — 
Sickles,  I  believe  his  name  was;  we  called  Mm 
'Lazy  Bill,'  yon  know." 

My  friend  langlicd  and  looked  at  me  queerly. 
"Come  here,"  he  said. 

lie  led  me  back  into  the  house  and  down  the  long 
corridor  that  separates  the  accounting  department's 
rooms  from  the  offices  of  the  buyers.  Past  the  book- 
keeping rooms  we  went ;  past  the  order  department ; 
past  the  mailing  rooms,  and  clear  to  the  end  of  the 
hall.  Then  we  stopped.  My  friend  pointed  ahead 
of  us. 

"There's  your  answer,"  he  said. 

I  looked  at  the  door  indicated  by  his  finger,  a  mas- 
sive one,  of  handsomely  stained  oak  and  glass,  and 
then  my  mouth  opened  involuntarily  from  surprise, 
for  there,  in  gilt  letters,  modest  in  size,  but  brij^fhtly 
shining  on  the  glass  of  the  door,  I  read  this  sign: 

"OFFICE  OF  WILLIAM  SICKLES," 

and  under  it, 

"GENERAL  MANAGER." 

If  you  like  a  moral  to  a  story,  jjerhaps  you  can  find 
one  in  this;  I  don't  know.  I  haven't  tried.  Maybe 
you  can  find  several  different  kinds  of  morals,  so  that 
you  can  have  just  the  kind  you  want — suit  yourself; 
it's  a  case  of  "you  pays  your  money  and  you  takes 
your  choice." 


THE  TRUTH  PREVAILS  IN  SHADYVILLE. 

BY  EDWARD  BLOMEYER. 

Illustrations  hy  Pearse  Ennis. 

"Nineteen  linndrod  an'  thutty-three  dollars  an' 
seventeen  cents,  1  make  it,"  announced  Silas  Gooble, 
wetting  his  pencil  and  laboriously  marking  a  sprawl- 
ing figure  three  beneath  the  long  column  of  figures 
before  him;   "what  do  you  git,  Hi?" 

"I  reckon  you're  riglvt,  boss,"  replied  Hiram,  his 
lanky  bookkeeper,  and  the  chief  clerk,  delivery  boy 
and  man  of  all  work  of  Gooble 's  General  Store,  squint- 
ing at  his  own  figure-covered  page,  "  'cause  that's 
what  I  git,  to  a  cent;  nineteen,  thutty-three,  seven- 
teen." 

Mr.  Gooble  leaned  back  in  the  rickety  office  chair 
and  absently  fingered  his  scraggly  beard.  "That's  a 
hull  lot  of  money  to  have  out  in  book  accounts,  Hi- 
ram," he  remarked  thoughtfully. 

"Yessir,    'tis  that,  sir,"  assented  Hiram. 

"Ef  I  had  that  in  cash,  I  could  discount  all  my  bills, 
Hiram,"  gloomily  continued  IMr.  Gooble. 

"Yessir,  I  reckon  j^ou  could,  sir."  Hiram  knew 
very  little  about  discounting  bills,  but  he  knew  from 
Mr.  Gooble 's  look  that  it  was  something  to  feel  bad 
about,  so  his  voice  was  correspondingly  gloomy. 

"Ef  I  had  that  money,  I  could  raise  yore  salary, 
Hiram,"  went  on  Mr.  Gooble,  meditatively  chewing 
the  end  of  his  pencil. 

"Yessir,  you  could  that,  sir!"  exclaimed  Hiram,  his 
face  brightening  joyfully  at  the  prospect.  This  was 
a  matter  that  Hiram  did  know  something  about,  and 
the  very  thought  of  such  a  thing  immediately  raised 
his  spirits  several  degrees.  He  grinned  contempla- 
tively and  cleared  his  throat  as  if  to  speak  further, 
but  the  weight  of  his  feelings  overcame  him,  and  h& 
lapsed  into  silence  again. 

43 


The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shadfjville       45 

Mr.  Gooble  sat  upright  in  his  chair  and  began  turn- 
ing the  leaves  of  the  ledger  which  lay  before  him.  lie 
grunted  despondently  several  times  as  his  eyes  rested 
upon  pages  full  of  long,  closely-written  accounts.  This 
survey  of  the  graveyard  of  his  cash  capital  evidently 
brought  him  no  pleasant  memories,  for  he  soon 
slammed  the  book  shut  with  a  groan. 

"Hi,"  he  said  with  conviction,  "we  gotter  c'lect 
them  accounts." 

"Yessir,"  agreed  Iliram,  wisely  nodding  his  head, 
"we  gotter  do  it — that's  what  you  said  yistiddy,  sir. 
How  be  we  a-goin'  to  do  it,  sir?" 

"How  be  we  goin'  to  do  it?"  sarcastically  repeated 
Mr.  Gooble.  *  *  Plaggone  it !  ef  I  knowed  that,  do  you 
reckon  I'd  be  askin'  you  fer  advice?  I  allowed  as 
mebbe  you  had  some  scheme  fer " 

"Me?"  interrupted  Hiram,  in  a  tone  of  incredulous 
amazement.  "Gosh  ding!  Why,  boss,  I  dunno  naw- 
thin'  about  it   'tall,  exceptin'  what " 

"Now,  Hi,"  cut  in  Mr.  Gooble,  "you  lookey  here! 
Here's  all  this  money  tied  up  in  book  accounts  what's 
plumb  good,  ever'  one  of  'em,  but  they  jest  won't  pay. 
I've  writ  'em  an'  I've  writ  'em,  an'  I've  talked  to 
'em  ontil  ever'  tooth  in  my  head  is  rattlin',  but  they 
sticks  to  their  money  wusser'n  a  cuckle  burr  to  a  hoss. 
Now,  I  've  thought  it  all  out ;  I  want  that  money,  an ' 
you've  been  wantin'  a  raise  in  yore  salary — an'  when 
you  figger  out  a  way  to  git  that  coin,  I'll  be  plumb 
tickel  to  give  you  that  raise.  So  it 's  you  to  git  a  hustle 
on.     See?" 

"But,  boss,"  expostulated  Hiram,  "1 " 

"Hi,"  chuckled  his  employer,  turning  back  to  his 
desk  with  a  grin,  "you  better  go  deliver  Mis'  Beasley's 
coal  ile." 

Hiram  waved  his  arms  excitedly.  "Now,  boss,"  he 
began,  "lem'me  tell  you " 

"Hiram,"  sharply  broke  in  Mr.  Gooble,  "there  ain't 
nawthin'  more  to  be  said;  you  go  deliver  Mis'  Beas- 
ley  's  coal  ile. ' ' 

Hiram  glared  helplessly  at  his  employer  for  a  mo- 


46 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


ment,  then,  picking  np  INIrs. 
Beasley's  coal  oil  can,  he  stalked 
out  of  the  store. 

The  next  day  at  noon  llirani, 
rushing  into  the  store  I'roni  his 
diiiiH'r,  took  his  surprised  t'Ui- 
{)l()yer  by  the  arm  and  led  that 
wondering  gcnth-man  far  back 
into  a  corner  of  the  room,  behind 
I  lie  potato  bin.  "Boss,"  he 
whispered  excitedly,  "I've  got 
it,  by  ding!" 

Following  up  the  dazed  Mr. 
Gooble,  who  was  backing  away 
in  some  alarm,  Hiram  launched 
into  an  excited  explanation  of 
his  scheme. 

Mr.  Gooble,  calming  down,  lis- 
tened attentively  but  somewhat 
skeptically. 

"AVliere  d'je  git  all  that 
dope?"  he  grunted,  distrust- 
fully. 

"You  know  that  advei-tisin' 
feller  from  N'  York,  what's  a-summerin'  down  to 
maw's?"  explained  his  clerk;  "well,  he  dished  it  up 
fer  me  last  night.  Purty  good  scheme,  I  think;  it'll 
shore  c'lect  them  bills  if  anything'll  do  it." 

"But,  Hi,"  protested  IMr.  Gooble,  "if  mought  mean 
some  trouble  ef  any  of  them  old  fossils  was  to  git  het 
up  about  it.  I  ain't  no  fightin'  man,  an'  you" — his 
glance  wandered  over  his  assistant's  angular  form — 
"goodness   knows,   you   ain't!      What   you   goin'   to 

do " 

"Oh,  I  got  that  fixed  all  right,"  broke  in  Hiram, 
confidently,  "you  see,  there's  one  of  them  prizefightin' 
fellers  a-boardin'  over  to  the  AVidder  Blake's,  an'  I 
done  had  a  talk  with  him — he  says  he'll  help.  What 
d'ye  think  about  it,  boss?" 

Mr.  Gooble  shook  his  head  rather  dubiously.  "Well, 
I  dunno, "  he  remarked  with  some  hesitation,  "but  I 


'iiilas  Goohle" 


The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shadijville       47 


reckon   it's   better 'n   no   way 

'tall,  an'  I  gotter  c'leet  them 
bills.  Get  yore  advertisin' 
man  to  fix  it  up,  III;  we'll  set 
it  for  Thursday  week — that's 
circus  day,  an'  ever'  Tom, 
Dick  an'  Harry  in  the  hull 
county  '11  be  here.  An'  tell 
him  that  when  he  i^oes  to 
writin'  that  advertisement  he 
kin  go  as  far  as  he  likes." 

The  circus  played  against 
strong  competition  that  day 
in  Shadyville.  In  front  of 
Gooble's  store  there  had  been 
erected  a  high  platform;  on 
it  stood  an  old  desk  and  sev- 
eral chairs.  Long  before  the 
time  set  in  Mr.  (Jooble's  ad- 
vertisement the  street  before 
his  store  was  filled  with  peo- 
ple—  a  jolly,  good-natured 
crowd,  that  pushed  and  jam- 
med and  trod  on  one  another's 
toes  for  half  a  block  in  either 
direction.  Hiram,  a  list  of 
his  employer's  debtors  in  his 
hand,  gleefully  wormed  his 
way  here  and  there  through 
the  throng,  surreptitiously 
checking  the  names  on  the 
sheet  as  he  went.  Then,  with 
a  grin  of  satisfaction,  he  re- 
ported to  Mr.  Gooble. 

''They're  all  here,  boss,"  he  exclaimed;  "ever' 
dinged  feller  what  owes  a  bill  is  out  there  in  that 
crowd!  Some  of  'em  is  plumb  nervous,  too, — their 
tongues  is  hangin'  out  a  foot.  When  be  you  goin'  to 
start?" 

^^  "Right   now,"   replied   Mr.    Gooble   determinedly; 
"go  git  yore  fightin'  man." 


'  Hiram ' ' 


48  Clever  Business  Sketclies 

It  was  an  lioiir  before  the  time  for  the  big  parade 
when  Mr.  Gooble  mounted  the  steps  to  the  top  of  the 
stand,  an  auctioneer's  gavel  in  his  hand.  After  him 
came  Hiram,  his  lean  face  broken  in  twain  by  an  enor- 
mous grin ;  then  came  Mr.  Parker,  the  advertising 
man.  Following  them  was  a  short,  broad-shouldered 
•individual,  with  a  thick,  bull-like  neck  and  hands  like 
twin  hams;  this  was  Kid  Collins,  of  some  pugilistic 
fame.    Mr.  Collins  also  wore  a  grin — of  anticipation. 

Mr.  Gooble  walked  briskly  to  the  front  of  the  stand 
and  surveyed  the  expectant  crowd  with  a  look  of  grim 
determination.  He  opened  the  desk  and  took  from  it 
a  small  wooden  box,  which  he  placed  on  the  floor  be- 
side him.  Then,  after  a  brief  backward  glance — to 
assure  himself  that  his  rear  guard  was  on  hand  and  all 
cleared  for  action — he  brought  his  gavel  down  upon 
the  desk  with  an  attention-commanding  bang. 

"Ladies  an'  gents,"  he  announced,  "there  is  fifty- 
two  individuals  out  there  amongst  you  what  owes  me 
money!  I've  tried  ever'  way  1  know  of  to  c'lect  it; 
I've  talked  to  'em  ontil  I  was  black  in  the  face,  an' 
I've  writ  to  'em  ontil  I've  got  the  writer's  cramp  in 
both  hands  an'  one  foot,  an'  all  I've  got  out  of  'em  so 
far  is  about  a  bushel  of  promises  an'  enufT  hot  air  to 
send  up  a  balloon — both  of  which  is  all  right  in  their 
places,  but  they  won't  pay  bills.  The  people  what  I 
bought  the  goods  from  that  I  sold  to  these  here  folks 
on  expectation  has  took  a  suddint  notion  that  I  ort  to 
pay  f er  'em ;  consequently,  I  've  got  to  c  'lect  up  or  bust 
up — an'  I'll  be  everlastingly  danged  ef  I'll  bust  to 
satisfy  anybody !  You  all  saw  my  page  ad.  in  the 
Weekly  Bugle,  an'  I'm  here  to  tell  you  that  I'm  goin' 
to  do  jest  exactly  what  I  advertised  to  do — I'm  goin' 
to  sell  ever'  account  on  my  books  to  the  highest  bidder, 
fer  cash,  an'  I'll  guarantee  ever'  one  of  these  here 
fifty-two  individuals  to  be  plenty  able  to  pay,  an'  good 
fer  all  they  owe  me.  An'  while  I'm  sellin'  'cm,  I'm 
goin'  to  tell  you  a  few  things  about  these  particular 
individuals." 

Mr.  Gooble  pauserl  for  breath.  He  picked  up  the 
little  box,  reached  into  it,  and  drew  out  a  folded  paper. 


The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shadyville       49 


'"In  this  box,"  he  explained,  "is  a  bill 
fer  ever'  account  what's  owed  me.  I'm 
goiu'  to  pick  'em  out  regardless,  an'  sell 
'em  jest  as  I  come  to  'em,"  lie  un- 
doubled  the  paper,  adjusted  his  spec- 
tacles, and  squinted  at  the  bill.  "The 
first  one,"  he  continued,  "is  Deacon 
Whipple,  an'  it's  fourteen  dollars  an'  a 
half." 

"Deacon  Whipple,"  went  on  Mr. 
Gooble,  after  the  sudden  excitement  of 
his  audience  had  subsided,  "has  owed 
me  this  bill  nigh  onto  a  year.  He  got 
the  goods  under  false  pretenses,  anyway, 
'cause  he  promised  to  bring  in  enuff  but- 
ter an'  aigs  the  follerin'  Sattiday  to  pay 
fer  em',  an'  'stead  of  doin'  it  he  took  his 
stuff  over  to  Happy  Holler  settlement 
an'  sold  it  fer  cash — an'  he  ain't  been  in 
my  store  since.  This  here  bill  is  fer  a 
suit  of  clothes — the  same  suit  the  Dea- 
con's wearin'  here  to-day,  an'  when  we 
went  to  that  Odd  Fellers  excursion  last 
spring  he  wouldn't  speak  to  me,  'cause  " Advertisng  Feller 
he  was  dressed  up  better 'n  I  was.  Reckon  he  forgot 
the  clothes  he  had  on  belonged  to  me !  Deacon  Whip- 
ple has  had  the  money  to  pay  this  bill,  'cause  he  bought 
his  darter  Sal  a  parlor  organ  from  a  mail  order  house, 
an'  he  sent  the  cash  to  git  it,  an'  he  bought " 

There  was  a  stir  in  the  crowd,  and  a  tall,  elderly 
man,  with  a  long  nose  and  a  reddish,  undipped  beard, 
strode  angrily  towards  the  stand.  This  appeared  to 
be  Deacon  Whipple,  and  there  was  blood  in  the  dea- 
con's eye. 

"Here,  you.  Si  Gooble,"  he  bawled  wrathfully, 
"what  d'ye  mean  by  runnin'  down  my  character  that 
way?  Consam  ye,  I  come  twelve  miles  today  a-pur- 
pose  fer  to  pay  ye  that  bill,  an'  here  ye  air  a-black- 
guardin'  me  afore  the  hull  township!    What  d'ye — " 

"Now,  deacon,"  sweetly  cut  in  Mr.  Gooble,  "don't 
you  go  an'  fret  yoreself — the  truth  is  a  moughty  good 


50 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


thing  sometimes,  ef  it  does  pinch  a 
bit.  An'  you  might  as  well  calm 
down,  'cause  you  wont  have  to  fight 
nobody  to  git  to  pay  yore  bill;  just 
step  up  here  on  the  platform  an' 
Jliram'll  take  yore  money  an'  be  tick- 
led all  over  to  git  it." 

"Ef  there's  any  more  of  you  out 
there  what  wants  to  pay  me  what  you 
owe  me,"  announced  Mr.  Gooble  to 
i]u)  crowd,  "jest  walk  up  here  an' 
plank  down.  The  mourners'  bench  is 
open  fer  you  all ;  'as  long  as  the  light 
holds  out  to  burn' — you  know  the  rest 
of  the  song.  Don't  be  bashful,  now; 
ain't  nobody  goin'  to  bite  you!" 

While  Iliram  was  writing  the  dea- 
con's receipt,  ]Mr.  Gooble  reached  into 
the  box  and  brought  out  another  pa- 
])('r.  Before  unfolding  it,  he  glanced 
behind  him.  Half-a-dozen  sheepish- 
looking  men  were  climbing  the  plat- 
form steps,  pocketbooks  in  hand.  ]\Ir. 
Gooble  heaved  a  mighty  sigh  of  relief ;  the  scheme  was 
working. 

"The  next  gent  on  the  docket,"  he  announced,  "is 
Sam  Iliekey,  the  hoss-trader;  fifty-three  dollars  fer 
groceries.  It  shorely  seems  to  me  that  after  I  kept 
Sam  Ilickey's  fambly  from  starvin'  to  death  fer  three 
months,  he  ort  to  be  willin'  to  pay  fer  the  grub.  I'll 
jest  tell  you  a  few  things " 

The  threatened  disclosures  were  cut  short  by  a  sud- 
den commotion  in  the  crowd.  A  big,  burly  man,  with 
a  wide-brimmed  white  felt  hat  pushed  far  back  on  his 
perspiring  forehead,  scrambled  furiously  over  the 
peoples  nearest  him,  in  a  frantic  effoi't  to  reach  the  plat- 
form, his  big  fists  doubling  and  undoubling  spasmod- 
ically as  he  advanced. 

"You  will,  will  yer?"  he  blustered.    "You'll  tell  a 


id  Collins" 


The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shady ville       51 


few  things,  will  yer? — you  bald-head- 
ed old  pcflscr-wood!  I'll  show  you  ef 
you  kin  talk  about  uk;  that  way! 
Lem'me  by,  there — git  outeii  the  way! 
Lem'me  at  him!" 

This  was  Mr.  Collins'  cue.  Slip- 
ping silently  from  his  scat,  he  was 
waiting  at  the  l)ottom  of  the  platform 
steps  when  the  angry  Mr.  Ilickey 
made  his  tempestuous  arrival.  Mr. 
Collins  said  nothing  at  all — he  just 
grinned.  IMr.  lliekey  found  his  way 
suddenly  barred  by  the  stocky  little 
pugilist,  and  he  put  out  a  brawny 
arm  to  brush  the  obstruction  aside — 
then  he  had  the  surprise  of  his  life. 
Mr.  Collins  positively  refused  to  be 
brushed;  instead,  two  solidly  built 
arms,  all  muscle,  shot  out,  and  one  of 
them  pinned  Mr.  Ilickey 's  right  fist 
fast  to  his  side ;  the  other  wrapped 
swiftly  about  ]\Ir.  Hickey's  left  l(\g 
and,  with  a  sudden,  jarring  grunt, 
that  gentleman  sat  down  very  hard 
upon  the  ground.  He  looked  up  in 
shocked  surprise.  "Who — who 


"Silas  Whipple' 
?"  he  puffed. 

"Me?"  His  opponent  grinned  at  him  impishly. 
"I'm  Kid  Collins,  cull — de  champeen  middleweight 
of  de  Nunifed  States,  an'  I  eats  'em  alive  like  youse ! 
Was  youse  lookin'  f er  trouble,  cull  ? ' ' 

Mr.  Ilickey  sat  upright  and,  scratching  his  head, 
thoughtfully  regarded  his  adversary.  "N-n-o,"  he 
stammered  after  a  pause,  "I — I— jest  allowed  as  how 
I'd  come  up  an'  pay  Si " 

' '  Oh,  dat  's  it,  is  it  ? "  pleasantly  inquired  the  cheer- 
ful Mr.  Collins;  "well,  youse  kin  sure  have  de  chance, 
pal."  He  took  Mr.  Hickey  by  the  arm  and,  raising 
him  to  his  feet,  gently  escorted  him  up  the  platform 
steps.  "Say,  pal,"  he  remarked  to  Hiram,  "jest  write 
dis  gent  a  receipt  fer  what  he  owes,  will  yer?  De 
mazuma's  burniu'  a  hole  in  his  pocket." 


52  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Mr.  Ilickcy  stood  a  moment  as  if  undecided.  Mr. 
Collins  al)sent-niindcdly  doii])lod  his  fists, — they  were 
large  fists ,  strong  and  solid-looking.  Mr.  liickey 
waited  no  longer;  reaching  far  down  into  his  pocket 
he  brought  forth  a  roll  of  bills. 

The  far-away  toot  of  an  advancing  horn 
came  through  the  air ;  the  big  parade  was  on !  As  the 
crowd  wavered,  then  broke,  ]\Ir.  Gooble  banged  his 
gavel  loudly  on  the  desk. 

"This  here  sale  will  be  continued  at  four  o'clock  this 
afternoon,"  he  bawled,  "right  after  the  big  show. 
Come  one,  come  all ;  there  '11  be  somethin '  doin '  ever ' 
minute.  An',  in  the  meantime,  ef  anybody  wants  to 
pay,  they'll  find  me  still  doin'  business  at  the  same 
old  stand." 

]Mr.  Gooble 's  proclamation  bore  fruit,  for,  all  dur- 
ing the  afternoon,  people  passed  into  his  store  with 
their  purses  handy,  and  passed  out  with  receipted 
bills.  About  three  o'clock,  Mr.  Gooble,  after  escorting 
a  solemn-faced  farmer  to  the  door,  gave  sudden  vent 
to  a  loud  and  enthusiastic  whoop. 
"Hi,"  he  called,  "com 'mere!" 
Wondering,  Hiram  followed  his  employer  to  the 
office,  and  there  his  eyes  glued  themselves  involun- 
tarily upon  a  pile  of  currency,  mixed  with  checks  and 
coin,  which  lay  upon  the  desk.  IMr.  Gooble,  survey- 
ing his  assistant's  surprise  with  ill-concealed  gratifi- 
cation, waved  his  hand  airily  toward  the  money  on  the 
table. 

"What  d'ye  know  about  that?"  he  inquired  face- 
tiously. 

Eyes  bulging,  Hiram  stared,  first  at  his  employer, 
then  at  the  money,  then  at  ]\Ir.  Gooble  again.  "Boss 
—  "he  began. 

"Wait  a  minute,"  chuckled  Mr.  Gooble,  "an'  jest 
take  a  look  at  this!"  He  extended  a  sheet  of  paper. 
"Them's  the  figgers  on  it,"  he  explained. 

Hiram,  surprised  at  first,  was  astonished  beyond 
articulation  now,  as  he  scanned  the  paper;  he  gasped 
feverishly  as  he  came  to  the  total.    For  a  full  minute 


The  Truth  Prevails  in  Shady  ville       53 

he  gazed  tenderly  on  the  figures,  then,  reverently,  he 
hiid  the  sheet  back  on  the  desk. 

"By  ding!"  he  cjacuhited,  impressively,  and  with 
feeling.  "By  ding!"  he  repeated,  and  he  said  it  as 
if  he  meant  it. 

When,  a  little  later,  the  excitement-hungry  crowd 
gathered  again  to  hear  Mr.  Gooble's  tale  of  woe,  that 
gentleman  climbed  the  platform  ste])s  alone.  He  re- 
garded the  upturned  faces  of  his  audience  with  much 
satisfaction — for  Mr.  Gooble  had  long  yearned  for 
a  moment  such  as  this;  then  he  started  in  to  tell  his 
hearers  several  things.  He  spoke  at  length  about  the 
evils  of  the;  credit  system;  he  remarked  fluently  and 
in  detail  upon  the  trouble  of  collecting  debts,  and  he 
made  a  number  of  most  pointed  and  satirical  observa- 
tions regarding  all  persons  in  general  who  owed  any- 
body, at  any  time,  for  anything,  and  those  who  owed 
one  Silas  (iooble  in  particular.  He  went  on  to  say  that 
in  the  future  he  expected  to  sell  goods  for  cash. 

"I'm  goin'  to  sell  'em  so  plagoned  cheap  that  you 
can't  afford  to  buy  anywheres  else,"  said  jMr.  Gooble. 
"I'm  goin'  to  fix  it  so  that  you'll  be  losin'  money  ef 
you  don't  come  to  me  an'  trade;  I  am,  by  heck!  An' 
I'm  goin,  to  advertise  'em,  too, — you'll  hear  more 
about  that  later." 

"An'  now,  frien's,"  concluded  Mr.  Gooble,  "you'll 
find  a  barrel  of  lemonade  an'  half  a  dozen  boxes  of 
seegars  set  out  in  the  store;  jest  walk  in  an'  help 
yourselves.  I  thank  you  fer  yore  kind  attention — 
an'  I  reckon  that'll  be  about  all." 

The  people  stood,  imdecided.  Then  there  came  a 
voice  from  out  the  crowed.  "I  thort,"  it  said  plain- 
tively, "as  how  you  was  goin'  to  sell  some  more  bills 
out  here  today." 

Mr.  Gooble  had  expected  the  question.  "Frien's," 
he  beamed,  "I  axes  yore  pardon  fer  not  tellin'  you, 
but  I  plumb  forgot.  I  ain't  a-goin'  to  sell  no  more 
bills,  because" — he  paused,  swelling  visibly  over  the 
importance  of  his  tidings — "because  there  ain't  no 
more  to  sell;  ever'  feller  what  owed  me  a  bill  has 
done  been  in  today  an'  settled  up ! " 


THE  PROGRESS  OF  A  GENTLEMAN. 

BY    GEORGE    MAHON. 

"He'll  not  stay  long,"  said  Tom  jMullius,  decis- 
ively.   ' '  He 's  too  much  of  a  gentleman  I'ur  this  office. ' ' 

"What's  your  definition  of  a  gentleman,  Tom?" 
asked  Calker, — "Cub"  Calker,  as  he  was  called,  not 
by  reason  of  his  being  of  a  tender  and  unsophisticated 
age,  but  because  he  had  served  but  a  paltry  two  years 
in  the  office  where  the  rest  of  us  had  worked  for  what 
Tom  Mullins  would  term  "a  crow's  age."  Cub  was 
always  getting  himself  into  trouble  by  asking  impu- 
dent or  foolish  ({uestions,  on  which  occasions  "the 
office"  individually  and  collectively  would  proceed 
to  verbally  sit  upon  him. 

"Listen  to  the  innocent!  "What's  a  gentleman?" 
jibed  Hughes. 

"Did  you  ever  see  one?"  queried  Watson. 

"Why  yes,  I've  seen  one  or  two,"  responded  Cub, 
"though,  now  that  I  think  of  it,  not  among  the  com- 
pany here  assembled.  That,  however,  was  not  my 
question.  What  I  want  is  simply  Mullin's  definition 
of  a  gentleman." 

Tom  looked  Cub  over  very  deliberately  from  head 
to  heel  before  deigning  to  answer. 

"Well  then,  sonny,  listen."  Tom's  manner  was 
most  self-satisfied  and  condescending.  "A  gentle- 
man is  a  fellow  who  has  been  pampered  and  waited 
on,  and  who  has  been  away  to  college  and  learned  a 
lot  of  things  that  are  of  no  practical  use.  He  can  talk 
about  history  and  polities  and  art,  he  can  dance  and 
play  golf;  he  feels  as  much  at  ease  in  his  dress  suit 
as  you  do  in  your  working  clothes;  he  always  wears 
good  clothes,  even  if  he  doesn  't  pay  for  them ;  he  gen- 
erally has  a  big  idea  of  himself  and  Iho  girls  all  think 
he  is  just  lovely;  but  when  it  comes  down  to  doing 
hard,  actual  work,  he  can  always  prove  an  alibi." 

"Good.     Very    good,    indeed!"   commented     Cub. 

54 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  55 

"That  puts  us  out  of  it,  sure.  Imagine  a  man  feel- 
ing comfortable  in  a  dress  suit !  I  never  could.  And 
imagine  Hughes  talking  art.  lie  couldn't  tell  a  land- 
scape from  a  fire-escape.  And  wouldn't  Watson  look 
cute  playing  golf?  You'll  never  make  it,  Cummings, 
for  when  you  talk  politics  you  make  us  all  wonder 
whether  it  would  be  better  for  us  to  commit  suicide 
or  simply  to  murder  you.  But  Tom,  old  chap,  there's 
hope  for  you." 

"Think  so?"  asked  Mullins,  half  pleased,  yet  cau- 
tious. 

"Certainly.  You  possess  at  least  one  qualification. 
Whenever  there  is  work  to  be  done,  your  alibi  is " 

Cub  was  gone.  As  the  door  slammed  behind  him  it 
arrested  the  flight  of  Tom's  ruler  and  paper-weight, 
hurled  with  murderous  intent.  As  Tom  recovered  his 
property,  Cub's  laughter  floated  up  to  us,  while  our 
own  mirth  was  increased  by  Henderson's  sage  remark 
that  a  gentleman  never  threw  paper-weights,  bricks, 
bottles  or  cuspidors,  maybe,  if  the  occasion  required 
it,  but  never  paper-weights.  And  then,  noticing  that 
the  clock  hands  indicated  ten  minutes  past  six,  we 
made  a  rush  for  our  hats  and  departed. 

As  I  walked  homeward  my  thoughts  turned  invol- 
untarily to  the  man  w'ho  had  been  the  occasion  of 
Mullin's  remark.  Unquestionably  he  had  the  appear- 
ance and  manner  of  a  gentleman.  How  self-confident, 
yet  courteous,  he  seemed  as  he  stepped  into  the  office 
and  inquired  for  ]\Ir.  Harley. 

"Somewhere  about  the  works,"  Watson  replied 
shortly. 

For  a  moment,  silence.  Then  the  stranger  asked, 
"Had  I  best  go  look  for  him  or  wait  here?" 

"No  one  allowed  through  the  works,"  grunted  Wat- 
son. 

Then  it  was  that  Cub's  impulsiveness  broke  out. 
Seizing  a  chair,  he  lifted  it  over  the  railing,  at  the 
same  time  saying,  "Mr.  Harley  will  be  in  shortly. 
Won't  you  sit  down  and  Avait  for  him?" 

"Thank  you,  I  will,"  replied  the  stranger,  and  he 


56  Clever  Business  Sketches 

did.  For  two  long  hours  he  sat  silently,  patiently,  un- 
til at  last  the  chief  came. 

"That's  him,"  volunteered  Cub  in  a  whisper.  The 
stranger  thanked  him  with  a  nod,  rose,  removed  his 
hat  and  stepped  forward. 

"Mr.  Harley?" 

"Yes." 

"My  name  is  Cortright.  I  have  a  letter  from  Mr. 
Clarke  directing  me  to  report  to  you." 

"Ah,  you  want  a  job?" 

"I  do.  I  have  brought  some  testimonials  from  my 
former  em " 

"Oh,  never  mind  that.  I  don't  need  any  more 
help.  Office  full  now.  Crowded  for  room.  But  Mr. 
Clarke  has  instructed  me  to  put  you  on  and  give  you 
a  trial,  and  what  Mr.  Clarke  says  goes  in  this  estab- 
lishment.    When  can  you  start?" 

"At  once." 

"H'm.  Four  o'clock.  Not  today.  Report  here  at 
seven  o'clock  tomorrow  morning." 

"All  right,  sir.    Thank  you." 

"No.  Don't  thank  me.  I  am  merely  following  di- 
rections. Now,  see  here.  I  don't  know  what  you're 
to  get  or  anything  about  it.  Mr.  Clarke  simply  says 
to  give  you  a  trial.  He  will  decide  on  your  salary,  1 
suppose,  when  I  report  to  him  about  you." 

"Oh,  that  is  all  right.  I  guess  it  won't  be  so  heavy 
I  can't  carry  it  home,"  smiled  Cortright. 

I  held  my  breath,  for  none  of  us  ever  dared  essay 
a  joke  in  old  Ilarley's  presence.  But  now  the  chief 
actually  laughed — a  harsh,  rasping  laugh  that  sounded 
not  unlike  the  rattle  of  rusty  chains. 

"No,  you  can  bet  it  won't  be,"  he  let  out,  and  then 
suddenly  recovered  his  dignity.  Glaring  about  the 
office  he  frowned  portentously  at  everyone  who  met 
his  gaze.  Then  he  stalked  majestically  to  his  desk 
and  from  there  flung  Cortright  a  surly,  "Report  at 
seven  sharp." 

"All  right,  sir.  Good  afternoon,"  and  Cortright 
was  gone. 

The  next  day  saw  the  complete  disproval  of  Mul- 


Tlie  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  57 

lin's  theory.  The  first  to  arrive  was  Cortright,  who 
had  a  cheery  "Good  morning"  for  every  man  as  he 
arrived,  and  as  soon  as  old  Ilarh'y  appeared,  Cort- 
right was  by  his  side  in(iuiring  what  he  should  do. 

"Cummings, "  commanded  the  boss.  I  hastened  to 
attend.  "Take  Cortright  to  your  desk  and  instruct 
him  in  your  work.  Our  desks  are  all  taken,  Cort- 
right, and  there's  no  room  for  another,  so  you  and 
Cummings  must  make  shift  at  the  same  desk  for  a 
while." 

Was  this  man  some  favorite  of  the  higher  powers, 
that  old  Ilarley  felt  constrained  to  malvc  explanations 
to  him?  Or  was  it  the  man's  own  personality  that 
compelled  from  others  the  same  courtesy  he  accorded 
them  ?  Later  on  we  knew,  but  at  the  first  our  thought 
was,  "Favoritism." 

Now,  the  position  I  filled  was  a  source  of  some  pride 
to  me,  for  I  had  been  obliged  to  serve  long  and  ardu- 
ously at  all  the  lower  desks  and  to  wait  my  turn  in 
the  slow  moving  line  of  promotion  before  I  attained  to 
it.  I  could  hardly  have  overestimated  the  importance 
of  the  work,  but  I  felt  that  I  must  have  greatly  over- 
estimated its  difficulty  when  I  saw  how  quickly  Cort- 
right picked  it  up. 

"Ever  do  anything  like  this  before?"  I  asked. 

"Never." 

I  could  scarcely  believe  it.  A  glance  at  the  work, 
a  question  or  two,  a  second  of  thought,  and  then  Cort- 
right's  pen  would  begin  to  move.  And  how  it  did 
move !  Standing  at  the  extreme  end  of  my  long,  high 
desk,  taking  up  so  little  room  that  I  seemed  to  have  as 
much  space  to  myself  as  ever,  Cortright  wrote  and 
figured  as  I  had  never  seen  man  do  before.  His  pen- 
manship was  good  and  he  wrote  rapidly,  while  at  fig- 
uring he  was  remarkable.  He  was  full  of  short  cuts 
and  many  calculations  he  would  do  mentally  before  I 
had  set  down  the  first  figures  for  the  computation  of 
them.  I  soon  saw  that  within  a  few  days'  time  Cort- 
right would  be  able  to  do  the  work  of  my  desk  better 
than  I  could  do  it,  and  a  most  un-Christian  spirit  of 
resentment  took  hold  of  me.     But  early  in  the  after- 


58  Clever  Business  Sketches 

noon  my  cup  of  bitterness  became  full  to  overflowing. 
About  two  o'clock  old  Ilarley  burst  in,  crying  sharply : 

"Cummings,  you'll  have  to  get  the  time  sheets  and 
come  out  into  the  shop.  That  fool,  Dcrry,  has  got 
himself  hurt  and  gone  home.  There's  been  no  time 
taken  this  afternoon  and  you'll  have  to  work  it  up. 
Let  Cortright  do  what  te  can  here  while  you're  away. ' ' 

Down  came  my  pen  with  a  force  that  sent  ink  spots 
flying  in  every  direction ;  into  the  drawer  went  my 
sheets  crumpled  and  mussed;  and  slam  went  the 
drawer  shut  with  a  slam  that  had  capsized  the  ink  well 
but  for  Cortright 's  quick  grasp  to  save  it. 

"Too  bad,  old  chap,''  said  he.  "Hope  you're  soon 
out  of  it." 

But  I  answered  not,  for  my  soul  was  filled  with 
wrath.  Grabbing  my  hat  and  a  pad  of  time  sheets,  I 
fled  out  into  the  shop,  whither  old  Ilarley  had  pre- 
ceded me.  And  there,  amid  the  banging  of  the  heavy 
hammers,  the  constant  thudding  of  the  rivet  machines 
and  the  rattling  and  rumbling  of  the  great  cranes  as 
they  ran  to  and  fro  overhead;  there  among  the  grimy 
machinists  and  the  sweating,  panting  "hunkies,"  I 
put  in  what  seemed  to  me  the  most  miserable  after- 
noon of  my  existence.  How  well  it  came  back  to  me, 
the  joy  I  had  felt  at  being  promoted  from  this  same 
time-keepers'  position!  How  proud  1  had  been  to 
become  the  newest  and  most  insignificant  of  Harley's 
office  force.  Emergencies  like  the  present  had  arisen 
before,  yet  never  had  I  been  called  upon  to  leave  my 
desk  and  "take  time."    But  now — 

When  I  returned  to  the  office  all  had  left  save  Cort- 
right. He  sat  upon  my  high  stool,  leaning  back 
against  the  desk  and  facing  the  doorway.  In  his 
mouth  was  a  cigar,  the  first  whiff  of  which  convinced 
me  it  was  of  a  different  brand  from  what  I  usually 
smoked.  A  picture  of  graceful  ease  he  was,  and  there 
by  him  on  the  desk  lay,  fully  completed,  the  large 
"Daily  Report"  sheet,  which  was  at  once  my  pride 
and  my  despair. 

"'Through  with  it  at  last?"  he  asked,  pleasantly. 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  59 

My  reply  was  more  forcible  lliau  it  was  relevant  or 
civil. 

"Beastly  job,  I  imagine,"  he  commented.  "Will 
you  look  over  this  report  and  see  if  it  is  all  right?" 

In  form  and  appearance,  it  certainly  was.  As  to 
the  correctness  of  the  figures  I  had  no  doubt. 

"Who  showed  you?"  I  demanded. 

"No  one.  I  had  an  idea  of  the  drift  of  your  work 
from  what  I  saw  this  morning,  so  all  I  had  to  do  was 
to  hunt  up  yesterday's  sheet,  see  how  you  carried  the 
work  and  do  the  same  with  this.  Does  it  seem  to  be 
all  right?" 

Why  ask?  He  knew  very  well  it  was  all  right,  as 
well — nay,  better  done  than  1  could  do  it.  I  grudg- 
ingly muttered  assent. 

"Well,  good  night,  then.  I  hope  Derry  will  be 
back  tomorrow." 

Why  should  he  hope  so?  If  he  could  fill  my  place 
for  a  few  days,  the  quality  of  his  work  might  insure 
his  being  retained  there,  while  I — well,  I  suppose  I 
should  go  back  to  time-keeping.  Such  was  the  jus- 
tice of  the  world  in  general  and  of  the  Carleton  Iron 
Works  in  particular,  I  reflected. 

For  a  week  Derry  remained  away  and  I  took  his 
place,  while  Cortright  took  mine.  Every  night  he 
would  wait  for  me  to  examine  the  report.  I  remon- 
strated against  this,  telling  him  he  was  quite  compe- 
tent to  do  it,  but  he  shook  his  head  smilingily. 

"It  is  your  work,  you  know,"  he  said.  "I'm  only 
your  understudy,  and  must  submit  my  work  to  you." 

I  refused  to  look  over  the  sheets  after  this,  but  he 
waited  for  me  just  the  same.  One  evening  I  came  in 
quietly  and  went  into  the  little  wash  room  just  off  the 
office  to  clean  up.  Cortright  neither  saw  nor  heard 
me.  A  moment  later  a  burly  "hunky"  entered  and 
asked  some  question  in  broken  English. 

"I  really  do  not  know,"  Cortright  replied,  "but 
Mr.  Cummings  will  be  here  shortly.  Probably  he  can 
tell  you." 

The  "hunky"  growled  something  I  could  not  catch. 


60  Clever  Business  Sketches 

opened  the  gate,  walked  over  to  Watson's  desk  and 
began  to  fumble  through  his  papers. 

"Look  here,  my  friend,"  said  Cortright;  "do  you 
see  that  sign?  You're  not  allowed  in  here.  Step  out- 
side and  wait  for  Mr.  Cummings. " 

"No  wait,"  growled  the  hunky. 

Cortright  bounced  from  his  stool.  "Get  outside  or 
I'll  put  you  out,"  he  commanded. 

"You  no  put  me  out.     You  go  to " 

Just  how  it  happened  I  could  never  toll,  but  the 
next  second  the  "hunl^y"  was  over  the  railing  and 
in  a  heap  on  the  floor,  thrown  there  by  a  slim  youth 
twenty  or  thirty  pounds  below  his  weight. 

"If  you  attempt  to  come  back  I'll  break  you  in 
half',*'  said  Cortright,  cheerfully.  And  I  have  no 
doubt  that  he  would  have  done  so,  but  at  this  moment 
I  stepped  into  the  office,  answered  the  man's  question 
and  saw  him  out. 

"How  did  you  do  it?"  I  asked.  "That  fellow  is 
much  heavier  and  looks  twice  as  strong  as  you." 

"He  probabh'  is.  It  was  not  a  case  of  strength, — 
just  a  case  of  know  how," 

And  so  it  was  ever  with  Cortright.  Whate/er  his 
task,  he  seemed  always  to  have  the  "know  how." 

When  Derry  returned,  I  resumed  my  own  place  and 
Cortright  was  set  to  help  Mullins,  whose  work  was 
behind. 

"Guess  that  will  keep  you  amused  for  a  few  days," 
commented  old  Ilarley.  But  so  great  was  Cortright's 
speed  and  so  much  increased  was  ]\Iullins'  own  effort, 
unconsciously  stimulated  by  Cortright's  example,  that 
by  evening  Tom's  work  was  "up  to  the  minute." 

"What  do  you  think  of  your  gentleman  now?" 
asked  Cub,  as  wc  walked  homeward  together. 

"He's  a  smart  fellow,"  Tom  replied.  "But  we 
must  not  forget  he's  here  simply  on  trial.  After  he 
is  assured  a  permanent  job,  you'll  see  that  his  daily 
life  will  cease  to  be  one  continuous  performance  of 
grand-stand  plays." 

"Tom,  I  wouldn't  have  your  disposition  for  all  the 
wealth  of  Carnegie,"  retorted  Cub. 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  61 

A  few  days  later  came  the  day  on  which  the  most 
reluctant  of  us  went  clieerfully  to  work, — the  fort- 
nightly pay  day.  About  ten  o'clock  a  messenger  from 
the  cashier's  office  came  in  and  proceeded  silently  to 
lay  each  man's  envelope  upon  his  desk;  and  each  of 
us,  hastily  and  with  an  assumption  of  indifference, 
crammed  the  envelope  into  his  pocket,  only  to  extract 
it  again  the  first  moment  he  was  sure  of  being  unob- 
served, rip  it  open,  count  the  contents  and  place  them 
lovingly  in  his  pockotbook.  Just  why  we  did  this  I 
cannot  say,  but  it  was  the  invariable  custom  of  every 
man  in  the  office. 

"Your  name  Cortright?"  the  messenger  demanded 
of  our  new  recruit. 

Cortright  assented.  Then,  making  no  motion  to  take 
the  envelope  extended  to  him,  he  asked,  "AVhat  is  it?" 

"Why,  your  pay  envelope,  of  course." 

"Just  take  it  back  again  and  put  it  in  the  safe  for 
the  present,  will  you?" 

"What  for?     You  had  better  take  it." 

' '  I  prefer  not  to  take  it. ' ' 

"Well,  I'm  not  going  to  take  it  back,  at  any  rate." 
The  messenger  was  getting  angry. 

"You  may  do  as  you  please  with  it,"  replied  Cort- 
right, coldly,  as  he  turned  again  to  his  work. 

The  messenger  stood  undecided  for  a  moment,  then 
stepped  over  and  laid  the  envelope  on  Harley's  desk. 
A  moment  later  the  chief  came  in. 

"Eh!  What's  this?"  he  cried.  "Cortright,  I 
guess  this  envelope  is  yours." 

Cortright  stepped  briskly  over  to  him.  "I  suppose 
the  messenger  laid  it  there  after  I  declined  to  take  it," 
he  said. 

"Declined  to  take  it!    Are  you  crazy?" 

"If  you  please,  sir,  there  has  been  no  agreement 
with  me  as  to  salary,"  Cortright  explained,  with  a 
smile.  "Until  some  agreement  is  made,  I  prefer  not 
to  accept  any  payments  which  may  or  may  not  be  sat- 
isfactory." 

"Young  man,  you  are  likely  to  accept  whatever  pay- 
jnents  this  concern  offers  you,"  bellowed  Harley. 


62  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"Probably  I  will."  Cortright  was  neither  fright- 
enod  nor  angry.  "But  1  claim  the  right  of  being  con- 
sulted first.  If  my  ideas  regarding  salary  do  not  co- 
incide with  those  of  Mr.  Clarke,  or  whoever  has  the 
deciding  of  it,  it  is  more  to  the  purpose  if  I  kick  be- 
fore accepting  a  payment  than  if  I  do  so  afterwards. 
Will  you  tell  me  the  rate  at  which  that  payment  is 
figured?" 

"Don't  know,"  growled  Ilarley. 

"Will  you  be  so  kind  as  to  open  the  envelope  and 
see?" 

"Open  it  and  see,  yourself." 

"I  beg  to  be  excused." 

I  glanced  cautiously  at  the  boss,  expecting  an  ex- 
plosion. Ilarley 's  temper  was  never  angelic;  and 
when  aroused  to  wrath  he  w^as  sublimely  terrible.  At 
that  moment  he  looked  as  though  he  were  about  to 
devour  the  calm,  smiling,  yet  respectful  young  man 
who  stood  before  him.     Suddenly  his  face  relaxed. 

"Well,  I'm  damned!"  he  exclaimed.  "Get  back  to 
your  work." 

On  the  following  IMonday  morning  Cortright  was 
not  at  the  office  when  we  arrived,  but  old  Ilarley  was, 
and  he  glared  so  balefuUy  at  each  of  us  as  we  came  in, 
at  the  same  time  glancing  ostentatiously  at  the  clock, 
that  every  man  sought  his  own  desk  speedily,  and 
plunged  at  once  into  his  work.  As  soon  as  the  chief 
left  for  his  daily  tour  of  inspection  around  the  works, 
each  of  us  turned  involuntarily  to  the  others  and 
asked,  "Where's  Cortright?" 

Nobody  knew,  but  before  we  left  that  night  we  had 
startling  news  of  him.  The  six  o'clock  whistle  had 
blown ;  the  thud  and  clang  and  rattle  of  the  great 
shop  had  subsided ;  the  tired,  grimy  toilers  were  is- 
suing from  its  doors  on  their  way  homeward,  and  we 
were  just  preparing  to  follow  them,  when  we  were 
arrested  by  a  word  from  old  Ilarley,  who,  in  defiance 
of  his  usual  custom,  was  still  at  his  desk. 

"One  moment,  gentlemen,"  said  the  chief,  and  at 
so  extraordinary  an  address  from  that  grim  official, 
every  man  stood  as  though  rooted  to  the  spot.    ' '  This 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  63 

morning  I  reeeived  a  call  for  a  clerk  from  the  General 
Office.  You  know  they  are  rather  particular  up 
there." 

Didn't  wo  know  it!  On  the  last  occasion  of  such  a 
call  Mullins  h;id  been  sent  up,  he  being  senior  clerk 
in  point  of  service.  But  at  the  end  of  a  three  days' 
trial  he  had  been  sent  down  again  in  disgrace,  where- 
by the  prestige  of  our  office  was  greatly  reduced. 

"I  sent  up  Cortright,  for  two  reasons,"  proceeded 
llarley.  "One,  because  I  can  best  spare  him,  he  hav- 
ing no  regular  desk  here;  the  other,  because  he  seems 
to  possess  several  of  the  requisite  qualifications  of  a 
good  clerk,  not  the  least  of  which  is  punctuality, — a 
fact  which  it  will  be  well  for  j'ou  all  to  bear  in  mind. 
Good  night,  gentlemen." 

For  several  minutes  we  walked  in  silence.  For 
once  INIullins  could  say  nothing.  lie  had  had  his 
chance. 

At  last  Cub  blurted  out,  "Serves  him  right!" 

"I  hope  he'll  suit  them,"  I  added. 

"Of  course  he  will,"  cried  Tom.  Such  namby- 
pamby,  soft-spoken  fellows  as  he  always  do  suit.  He'll 
know  how  to  toady  and  currj^  favor  up  there." 

"Toady!  Why,  he  has  more  independence  and 
nerve  in  a  second  than  you'll  have  in  your  whole  life," 
replied  Cub.  "Just  look  how  he  stuck  out  about  his 
pay " 

"Oh,  of  course,  that  episode  appeals  to  you," 
sneered  Tom.  "To  win  your  admiration,  it  is  only 
necessary  to  perform  some  such  theatrical  piece  of 
business  as  that." 

"Well,  if  he  has  in  any  way  won  my  admiration,  it 
is  more  than  you  have  ever  done." 

"For  which,  believe  me,  1  am  duly  thankful,"  was 
Tom's  retort,  as  he  left  us  at  the  corner  of  his  street. 

Some  two  weeks  after  this,  old  Harley  called  me  to 
his  desk. 

"They  need  another  clerk  up  at  the  General  Office,'' 
he  said.  "Ball  says  to  send  you,  if  I  can  spare  you, 
which  means  I  must  spare  you.  You  will  report 
there  at  once." 


64  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"But  my  work  here,"  I  said.  Surely  my  place 
could  not  be  filled  at  a  moment's  notice,  I  thought. 

"Oh,  we'll  make  shift  to  manage  that.  Go  along 
and  good  luck  to  you."  Old  Ilarley  was  never  dis- 
concerted. I  veril}^  believe  that  if  every  clerk  in  his 
office  had  suddenly  dropped  dead,  the  old  man  would 
have  "made  shift"  to  get  the  work  out  somehow  just 
the  same. 

At  the  General  Office  I  found  all  in  confusion. 
Workmen  were  tearing  down  the  partition  that  for- 
merly separated  the  chief  clerk's  office  from  that  oc- 
cupied by  the  billing  department.  Desks  were  being 
moved  and  everything  was  being  rearranged.  Quickly 
I  learned  that  ]\Ir.  Clous,  the  chief  clerk,  had  been 
stricken  down  with  an  incurable  disease,  and  that 
his  office  was  now  to  be  consolidated  with  the  billing 
department,  all  under  the  head  of  Mr.  Ball,  hereto- 
fore chief  of  the  latter.  "When  we  were  settled  I  found 
that  Ball  had  assumed  Clous'  old  desk,  while  Cort- 
right  had  taken  the  one  just  vacated  by  Ball.  And 
with  the  desk,  he  had  taken  on  practically  all  of  the 
work  formerly  done  by  Ball.  I  also  noticed  that  when- 
ever Ball  found  himself  in  difficulty,  as  happened  not 
infrequently,  owing  to  his  unfamiliarity  with  the  new 
work,  it  was  to  Cortright  he  invariably  went  for  as- 
sistance. The  man  who  liad  been  Clous'  assistant  ap- 
parently resented  having  Ball  replaced  over  his  head, 
for,  instead  of  trying  to  make  things  run  smoothly 
for  his  new  chief,  he  seemed  to  try  deliberately  to 
multiply  his  difficulties.  So  it  came  about  on  the  very 
first  day  of  the  new  order  that  the  former  chief  clerk's 
assistant  was  relegated  down  to  the  place  of  a  minor 
clerk,  while  Cortright  occupied  the  position  of  right- 
hand  man  to  Ball.  And  I,  having  been  passed  by 
Cortright  at  a  single  bound,  felt  no  little  satisfaction 
in  seeing  him  pass  others  as  readily. 

I  waited  that  evening  for  Cortright,  he  being,  as 
usual,  the  last  to  leave  his  desk. 

"I  have  a  suspicion  that  I  owe  this  promotion  to  a 
kindly  word  spoken  by  you,"  I  said.  "And  if  you 
will  permit  me  to  thank  you,  Mr.  Cortright " 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  65 

"For  the  convenience  of  my  friends,"  he  inter- 
rupted, "I  was  christened  Frank." 

"Well,  PVank,  I  am  very  grateful  to  you." 

"Don't  speak  of  it,  old  chap.  I  only  told  the  truth 
about  you  as  I  know  it.  You  deserved  to  come  here 
ahead  of  me." 

But  I  could  not  listen  to  that,  knowing  it  to  be  un- 
true. 

CHAPTER  II. 

"When  I  became  familiar  with  the  work  in  my  new 
position,  1  was  surprised  to  find  the  methods  prevail- 
ing in  that  office  were  very  antiquated.  In  handling 
the  work  that  had  formerly  pertained  to  Clous'  of- 
fice the  utter  lack  of  system  was  appalling.  Cort- 
right  soon  suggested  several  improvements,  but  Ball, 
who  lacked  decision  and  initiative,  failed  to  put  them 
into  practice. 

Our  office  was  next  to  that  of  Mr.  Clarke,  the  Gen- 
eral Manager,  who  frequently  strolled  through  our 
room,  watching  the  clerks  at  their  work.  One  day  he 
stopped  by  Cortright's  desk  for  several  moments.  Sud- 
denly he  asked: 

"How  are  you  getting  on  with  your  new  work?" 

"All  right,  sir,  I  believe." 
'     "Getting    familiar   with   Mr.    Clous'    system,    are 
you?" 

"His  what?"  Cortright's  tone  was  unmistakable, 
but  the  manager  did  not  understand,  or  pretended 
that  he  did  not. 

*  'Why,  his  sj'stem,  his  method,"  he  repeated. 

"I  was  not  aware  that  he  had  any,"  said  Cortright, 
calmly. 

It  seemed  like  impudence,  but  Cortright  told  me 
afterwards  that  the  chance  was  too  good  a  one  to  lose. 
However,  nothing  came  of  it, — at  least,  not  then, — 
for  Mr.  Clarke  stood  for  a  moment  in  silence,  then 
walked  on. 

For  some  months  things  moved  along  in  their  usual 
course,  and  then  one  day  the  stenographer  who  did 
Mr.  Clarke's  work  failed  to  appear.     A  letter  came 


(i(i  Clever  Business  Sketches 

stating  that  he  was  ill.     Out  came  Mr.  Clarke  into 
our  office. 

"Mr.  I^all,  can  any  oi"  your  clerks  do  typewriting?" 
he  demanded. 

"I  can,  sir,"  spoke  up  Cortright. 

"Shorthand?" 

"Yes,  sir;    though  I'm  a  bit  out  of  practice." 

"Come  along,  then.  Mr.  Ball,  I  shall  need  him  the 
rest  of  the  day." 

But  in  an  hour  Cortright  was  out  again  and  ham- 
mering away  at  the  typewriter  so  fast  that  I  could 
not  do  my  work,  but  must  needs  sit  staring  at  him  in 
stupid  wonder.  In  an  hour  and  a  half  more  he  had 
his  letters  all  transcribed;  in  another  fifteen  minutes 
Cortright  had  gotten  them  signed  and  was  back  again 
at  his  desk.  My  own  work  kept  me  unusually  hite 
that  night,  and  as  1  rose  from  my  desk  Cortright  was 
just  quitting  his.     The  other  clerks  had  gone. 

"So  you've  worked  at  stenography,  have  you?"  I 
asked. 

His  laugh  rang  out  loud  and  clear.  "No,  upon  my 
soul,  I  never  did.  Picked  it  up,  though — home  study, 
you  know.  I  was  afraid  I'd  flunk  today,  but  I  carried 
the  bluff  through,  didn't  I?" 

"Flunk!  Bluff!"  I  cried.  "Don't  play  the  hypo- 
crite to  me.  You  knew  very  well  you  were  fit  and 
you've  just  been  sitting  there,  waiting  for  your 
chance," 

"And  if  I  have,  what  then?" 

' '  Oh,  nothing.  Only  I  don 't  see  how  you  ever  man- 
aged to  become  so  perfect  without  daily  practice." 

"That  reminds  me,  you've  never  been  up  to  my 
rooms.    Have  you  anything  on  for  tonight?" 

"No." 

"Well,  come  up,  then,  and  I'll  show  you  my  talis- 
man." 

I  cannot  say  I  was  surprised  at  what  I  found  in 
Cortright 's  rooms,  for  one  naturally  expected  that 
things  of  his  would  be  different  from  those  of  the  com- 
mon herd.  His  rooms  consisted  of  a  bedroom  and 
one  other,  which  appeared  to  be  parlor,  sitting  and 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  67 

workshop  combined.  In  this  latter  room  was  a  bay- 
window  of  goodly  size,  in  which  stood  a  couch  of  ample 
proportions,  overhvnig  with  oriental  draperies  and  lit- 
erally smothered  in  cushions  of  all  shapes,  sizes  and 
colors.  Upon  the  wall  hung  pictures  of  men,  women, 
dogs,  horses  and  boats,  all  mingling  indiscriminately 
together.  Above  a  picture  of  a  most  villainous  look- 
ing bulldog  hung  a  diiinty  girl's  glove;  over  a  photo- 
graph of  an  exceptionally  pretty  girl  was  a  pair  of 
soiled  and  worn  boxing  gloves,  while  beneath  the  pic- 
ture of  a  sedate  and  clerical  looking  gentleman  reposed 
a  pair  of  foils.  In  one  corner  stood  a  guitar  and  a 
banjo;  in  another  a  typewriter.  In  the  center  of  a 
large  library  table  rested  a  Family  Bible,  and  next  to 
it  an  open  box  of  cigars.  Upon  a  pile  of  "Christian 
Heralds"  reposed  a  copy  of  "Hoyle's  Games,"  while 
against  the  wall  stood  a  cabinet  containing  wine  and 
spirits,  upon  w^hich,  however,  was  displayed  a  card 
bearing  the  legend,  "To  be  iised  only  in  case  of  fire." 
But  what  interested  me  most  of  all  was  Cortright's 
books.  Plistorics,  novels,  and  works  of  science  there 
were,  but  the  majority  of  them  were  books  pertaining 
to  modern  business  and  its  "attendant  sciences,"  as 
Cortright  was  pleased  to  call  them.  Books  on  com- 
mercial law,  books  on  accounting,  on  stenography,  a 
large  "Business  Encyclopedia";  several  periodicals 
devoted  to  the  interests  of  various  trades,  all  were 
there,  together  with  innumerable  circulars  and  cata- 
logues of  card-systems  and  loose-leaf  book  systems. 

"This,"  said  Cortright,  with  a  comprehensive  wave 
of  his  hand,  ' '  is  my  play  room. " 

"And  these,  I  suppose,"  indicating  his  books,  "are 
your  pla5i;hings. " 

"Correct.  And  glorious  playthings  they  are.  The 
study  of  modern  business  and  its  methods  is  a  most 
complex  and  fascinating  one.  Once  a  devotee  at  the 
shrine  of  this  art,  there  is  no  recanting.  My  goddess 
is  an  exacting  one, — no  half-hearted  worship  for  her, 
— yet  how  generously  she  rewards  her  true  follow- 
ers." 

Then  he  dived  into  his  books  and  began    explaining 


68  Clever  Business  Sketches 

their  purposes  with  great  enthusiasm.  And  I,  car- 
ried away  by  the  fascination  and  novelty  of  it  all,  was 
no  less  eager  than  he,  so  that  it  was  long  past  midnight 
when  I  started  for  home. 

As  we  parted,  Cortright  held  out  his  hand  to  me  in 
his  frank,  boyish  fashion  and  said  cordially,  "All  my 
belongings  are  at  your  disposal,  old  chap.  If  you  care 
to  turn  up  here  and  make  use  of  my  books,  you  will  be 
very  welcome.    Come  every  night  if  you  will." 

And  so  it  came  about  that  I  became  an  almost  night- 
ly visitor  at  Cortright 's  rooms.  Many  Avere  the  topics 
we  discussed,  many  the  researches  we  made.  If  I  be- 
came involved  in  an  intricate  problem,  Cortright  was 
ever  ready  and  able  to  help  me  through  it.  Acting 
upon  his  suggestion,  1  took  up  stenography  and  soon, 
with  his  help,  I  began  to  make  progress.  One  night, 
feeling  how  much  benefit  I  was  receiving  and  not  wish- 
ing to  reserve  all  the  good  unto  myself,  I  ventured  a 
suggestion. 

"Frank,  there  is  a  young  fellow  of  our  acquaintance 
who  is  full  of  ambition,"  I  said.  "I'm  sure  he  would 
be  mighty  glad  of  such  a  chance  as  you've  given  me. 
He's  a  capable  chap  and  is,  moreover,  a  great  admirer 
of  you." 

"A  man  of  great  discernment,"  he  smiled.  "Who 
is  he?" 

"Cub  Calker." 

"What,  Cub,  the  irrepressible!  AVell,  I'll  ask  him 
up  some  night." 

Procrastination  was  unknown  to  Cortright.  Next 
evening  Cub  was  admitted  to  our  circle.  I  had  not 
misjudged  his  desire  to  improve  himself,  for  he  en- 
tered upon  our  studies  with  such  zeal  that  he  soon 
caught  up  with  me. 

About  this  time  the  business  of  the  Carleton  Iron 
Works  increased  largely,  and  Cortright 's  services  as 
stenographer  came  more  and  more  into  demand,  until 
soon  we  saw  him  installed  as  secretary  to  Mr.  Clarke. 
A  vacancy  thus  occurring  in  the  office,  Cub  Calker 
was  brought  up  to  fill  it.  He  soon  found  favor  with 
Mr.  Ball,  and  gradually  came  to  stand  in  much  the 


The  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  C9 

same  relation  to  him  as  Cortriglit  had  formerly  occu- 
pied. And  Corti'ight  so'  well  availed  himself  of  his 
opportunities  for  grasping  every  detail  of  the  man- 
agement of  the  business  that  when,  eighteen  months 
after  he  became  IMr.  Clarke's  secretary,  the  Careltou 
works  absoi'bed  another  plant  and  Clarke  became  su- 
perintendent over  all,  it  followed,  as  a  matter  of 
course,  that  Cortriglit  should  become  manager  at 
Carleton.  Gratification  and  pride  are  poor  words  to 
describe  the  sensation  I  felt  when  he  called  me  to  be- 
come his  secretary  and  confidential  man. 

I  felt  sure  that  as  soon  as  Cortright  could  effect  it, 
a  change  in  our  office  methods  would  be  made.  For  a 
month  he  made  no  sign,  but  one  evening  when  we 
were  at  Cortright 's  rooms,  he  turned  suddenly  to  Cub 
and  asked,  "IIow  would  you  like  to  become  chief 
clerk?" 

"Why,  what's  to  become  of  Ball?"  cried  Cub.  ''I 
couldn't  push  him  out,  you  know." 

"I  appreciate  your  feeling.  It  does  you  credit," 
said  Cortright,  gravely.  "But  Ball  has  been  offered 
another  position  and  has  decided  to  accept  it.  You 
will  therefore  become  chief  clerk.  Cummings,  you 
will  continue  as  my  secretary,  but  I  shall  expect  you 
to  co-operate  with  Calker  and  myself  in  reforming  our 
office  methods." 

Whenever  Cortright  addressed  lis  by  our  surnames 
we  knew  he  was  speaking  as  chief  to  subordinates.  In 
this  mood  he  was  as  far  removed  from  us  as  the  sun 
is  from  the  earth.  We  realized  the  gulf  which  sepa- 
rated us,  and  sought  not  to  pass  it. 

Accordingly  it  transpired  that  Ball  retired  and 
Cub  Calker  reigned  in  his  stead.  And  then  came  the 
upheaval.  The  first  things  to  go  were  the  old  low 
desks  for  the  clerks  and  accountants,  they  being  re- 
placed by  broad,  high  desks  at  which  a  man  could 
work  more  comfortably  and  to  better  advantage.  Then 
the  old  books  and  files  disappeared,  and  in  their  place 
came  modern  loose-leaf  books,  card-systems  and  filing 
cases,  to  suit  which  our  entire  method  was  changed, 
so  that  within  a  month  we  had  fewer  clerks  in  the 


70  Clever  Business  Sketches 

office,  but  those  few  were  turning  out  the  work  more 
promptly  and  better  done  than  ever  before.  The  next 
step  was  to  advance  the  salaries  of  those  clerks  who 
remained,  whereupon  clerks  became  more  cheerful 
and  energetic.  Our  system  worked  like  a  huge  clock 
and  the  office  became  a  source  of  satisfactioD»and  pride 
to  all  concerned. 

During  the  next  two  years  no  material  change  oc- 
curred, nor  did  any  event  transpire  beyond  what 
might  be  expected  in  the  ordinary  course  of  conduct- 
ing a  great  business;  but  in  the  third  year  of  Cort- 
right's  management,  the  United  States  Steel  Corpora- 
tion was  formed,  and  our  plant  became  one  of  its  in- 
tegral parts.  At  first  I  was  a  trifle  uneasy,  fearing 
that  changes  whereby  I  would  lose  rather  than  profit 
might  be  made;  but  I  soon  found  that  Cortright's 
management  w^as  satisfactory  to  the  higher  powers, 
and  as  long  as  he  remained  at  the  helm  I  felt  secure. 

]\Iy  fears  were  re-awakened,  however,  one  afternoon 
when  Cortright  summoned  me  and  announced  that 
he  was  leaving  for  New  York  on  the  7  :05  train. 

"I  must  take  someone  with  me,"  he  said.  "Can 
you  make  it?" 

The  question  was  superfluous. 

"What's  up? "I  gasped. 

"Can't  tell  till  I  get  there."  His  tone  betrayed 
neither  fear  nor  hope.  ' '  Run  home  and  get  your  bag. 
We'll  dine  on  the  train." 

We  dined  in  silence,  and  in  silence  we  sat  and 
smoked  through  the  long  evening  hours  as  the  train 
rushed  on.  Finally  we  sought  our  berths,  but  little 
could  I  sleep,  for  my  soul  was  filled  with  forebodings 
of  disaster.  Changes  would  be  made,  I  was  sure,  and 
the  policy  of  the  corporation  tended  toward  a  reduc- 
tion of  expenses.  To  my  mind  the  conclusion  was 
obvious. 

Our  train  had  hardly  come  to  a  standstill  in  the 
Grand  Central  Depot  next  morning  when  Cortright 
had  me  in  a  cab  and  soon  we  were  whirling  down 
town  through  the  pulsing  heart  of  the  great  city.  Ar- 
rived at  the  company 's  offices,  Cortright  left  me  in  an 


TJie  Progress  of  a  Gentleman  '^^ 

anteroom,  while  he  went  to  consult  with  someone  who 
was  expecting  him.  I  waited  an  almost  interminable 
time,  every  moment  growing  more  nervous  and  ap- 
prehensive, and  had  just  about  reached  the  conclusion 
that  my  path  theuceforth  would  be  down  hill,  when 
Cortri<i:ht  appeared  in  the  doorway  and  beckoned  me. 
Mechanically  I  followed  him  and  soon  found  myself 
standing  in  a  handsome  office  room,  where  Cortright, 
after  a  hasty  word  of  introduction,  left  me.  So  nerv- 
ous was  I  that  I  failed  to  catch  Cortright 's  words,  but 
the  moment  I  glanced  at  the  man  to  whom  he  had  pre- 
sented me  I  realized  that  I  was  in  the  presence  of  him 
who  had  been  chosen  to  bear  the  burden  of  the  chief 
executive  office  of  this  giant  among  industries. 

"With  a  smile,  the  great  man  rose  and  extended  his 
hand  cordially.  "I  am  glad  to  know  you,  Mr.  Cum- 
mings.     Sit  down." 

I  sat.  In  fact,  my  knees  were  so  shaky  it  is  a  won- 
der I  did  not  collapse  sooner.  But  as  I  sat  before  him 
1  found  mj'-self  growing  calmer.  The  president  sat 
regarding  me  for  some  moments,  his  eye  seeming  to 
penetrate  the  secrets  of  my  life;  yet  was  there  noth- 
ing disquieting  in  the  gaze.  His  very  person  seemed 
to  exhale  a  spirit  of  confidence  and  strength.  Those 
who  came  in  contact  with  this  man  could  not  fail  to 
unconsciously  mould  their  minds  in  some  measure  to 
his  qualities.  And  he  was  gravely  courteous  in  man- 
ner, as  I  have  ever  found  those  men  to  be  who  are 
really  great ;  for  it  is  only  the  small-natured,  incom- 
petents who  never  have  time  for  politeness. 

"You  have  been  some  time  at  the  Carleton  plant, 
I  understand,"  he  said  at  last. 

"Twenty-eight  years,"  I  replied. 

"And  you  began,  I  believe,  as  a  time-kee'per  and 
have  worked  up  to  your  present  position?" 

I  nodded  assent. 

"That  is  a  point  in  your  favor," 

He  is  trying  to  let  me  down  easily,  I  thought. 

"You  are  a  young  man." 

"Forty-six,"  I  retorted.  I  wished  I  could  have  said 
sixty-six.     But  he  waved  my  answer  aside. 


72  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"Young  men  are  what  we  need  in  some  positions," 
he  continued. 

Minor  positions,  thought  I. 

"We  are  very  well  satisfied  with  Mr.  Cortright's 
management,  but " 

Now  it  was  coming!  I  wondered  if  1  had  not  better 
bolt. 

"But  we  need  him  here." 

Hurrah !  It  was  all  right,  then.  "Would  they  keep 
me  here  with  Cortright?  I  leaned  forward  in  breath- 
less eagerness. 

"  It  is  our  wish  that  the  management  of  the  Carleton 
plant  be  continued  along  the  same  lines  as  followed  by 
Mr.  Cortright.  lie  informs  me  that  you  are  thor- 
oughly conversant  with  all  the  details  of  his  methods. 
The  question,  therefore,  is  whether  you  will  accept 
the  position  of  manager  at  Carleton?" 

Would  I  accept  it?  Imagine  St.  Peter  asking  some 
poor  lost  soul  if  he  desired  admission  to  Paradise. 

"Very  well,  then,"  smiled  the  president,  rising. 
"Hunt  up  Mr.  Cortright  now.  He  will  give  you  defi- 
nite instructions.    And  drop  in  here  again  before  you 

leave. ' ' 

****** 

It  is  not  my  intention  to  set  forth  a  list  of  the  diffi- 
culties that  beset  my  new  path,  nor  yet  to  record  the 
blunders  that  I  made, — that  there  were  many  of  both, 
you  may  believe, — so  we  will  come  down  to  an  event 
the  memory  of  which  will  ever  remain  with  me.  The 
occasion  is  a  dinner  to  which  Cub  Calker  has  bidden 
us  on  the  eve  of  his  becoming  a  benedict.  At  the  head 
of  the  table  sits  Cub,  no  longer  chief  clerk  at  Carleton, 
but  superintendent  of  another  plant  in  a  distant  city. 
At  the  other  end  sits  old  Ilarlcy,  stern  and  grim  no 
longer,  but  a  genial,  mellow  old  gentleman  who  has 
retired  to  live  upon  the  savings  of  his  years  of  fru- 
gality and  toil.  Around  the  board  sit  Watson,  Mul- 
lins,  Hughes,  Henderson,  a  few  other  old  comrades  of 
former  years,  and  myself.  The  dishes  have  been 
cleared  away,  cigars  lighted,  and  Cub  Calker  rises  to 
address  us. 


The  Progress  of  a  (Jcnlleman  73 

"Boys,  I  have  a  letter  from  one  I  had  cxpeoted  to 
be  with  us.    He  says: 

"I  cannot  tell  you  how  disappointed  1  am  at  bein<^ 
unable  to  attend  your  farewell  dinner  to  the  friends 
of  your  bachelor  days.  I  had  expected  to  be  present, 
but  the  stern  finder  of  duty  is  pointing  me  in  another 
(lireetion,  and  1  iii;i>'  not  disobey.  But,  while  I  can- 
not be  at  the  dinner,  I  shall  surely  arrive  in  time  for 
the  wedding.  I  would  come  clear  across  the  conti- 
nent for  that  event,  and  I  shall  expect  no  less  of  you 
on  the  occasion  of  my  own  wedding,  which  will  occur 
at  no  very  dist;int  date.  Some  New  York  society  bud. 
did  you  say  ?  Wrong,  my  boy.  She  lives  in  dear  old 
Carleton,  the  home  of  my  youth,  wherein  rest  the 
sweetest  memories  of  my  life.  I  shall  defer  my  con- 
gratulations until  I  can  again  grasp  your  hand.  Re- 
member me  to  all  the  boys.     God  bless  you  all.' 

"I  need  not  tell  you  the  writer's  name,"  goes  on 
Cub.  "lie  is  the  one  who,  above  all  others,  we  are 
proud  and  happy  to  call  our  friend, — the  man  whom 
we  have  seen  rise  from  a  small  beginning  to  the  posi- 
tion which  his  genius  and  sterling  worth  entitle  him 
to  occupy." 

"Genius  nothing!"  breaks  in  Mullins.  "Why,  the 
man  is  simply ' 

"Shut  up,  Tom!"  commands  Cub.  "We  all  know 
how  steeped  your  soul  is  in  pessimism.  Enjoy  your 
o^^•n  sordid  thoughts  if  j^ou  will,  but  don't  inflict  them 
upon  us." 

And  now  old  Harley  is  on  his  feet,  wine  glass  in 
one  hand,  the  other  raised  to  command  silence. 

"Gentlemen,"  he  saj's,  "I  rise  to  propose  a  toast, — 
toasts,  1  was  about  to  say,  but  as  I  am  an  advocate  of 
abstemiousness  I  shall  name  them  together  and  let  you 
drink  them  in  one  glass.  Old  codgers  like  myself  take 
great  pride  in  watching  the  successful  careers  of  those 
with  whom  we  have  labored,  whom  we  have  helped  to 
guide,  in  their  youth.  I  count  no  man  more  fortunate 
in  his  young  friends  than  myself.  May  the  futures  of 
these  men  be  no  less  glorious  than  their  past  and  pres- 
ent.    Our  interest,  our  good  wishes,  our  affection  go 


'^4  Clever  Business  Sketches 

ever  with  them.  Gentlemen,  I  give  you  Frank  Cort- 
right  and  Leonard  Calker, — the  one  as  true  and  loyal 
a  gentleman,  the  other  as  brave  and  bonny  a  lad  as 
ever  trod  the  face  of  God's  green  earth." 

"With  a  shout  Ave  are  on  our  feet.  Our  glasses  click 
against  each  other.  We  raise  them  to  our  lips, — but 
no,  old  Ilarlcy  is  waving  us  down  frantically,  and 
we,  who  have  not  forgotten  how  we  used  to  tremble  at 
his  frown,  sink  back  into  our  chairs  as  he  shouts : 

"Down !  Sit  down,  you  guzzlers.  Are  your  throats 
cracking  with  thirst  that  you  cannot  wait  until  I 
finish  my  toast?  I  was  about  to  say,  when  you  so 
rudely  interrupted  me,  that  to  these  two  names  I 
would  join  the  name  of  him  who  has  shared  in  their 
toils,  their  struggles  and  their  triumphs, — a  man  whom 
we  have  seen  rise  from  the  lowest  position  in  the 
Carleton  Iron  Works  to  the  very " 

But  here,  gentle  reader,  modesty  impels  me  to  draw 
the  curtain. 


THE  BOOKKEEPER:    HIS  ACCURACY. 
A  Rough-Edged  Satire. 

BY  ELWOOD   S.   BROWN. 

Ilhistratioiis  by  Parkinson. 

The  bookkeeper  views  life  from  two  sides,  the  debit 
and  the  credit.  Instinctively,  and  usually  uncon- 
sciously, every  little  sight  he  sees  and  every  little  act 
he  performs  is  labeled  "debit"  or  "credit."  Thus,  a 
hairy,  mangy,  rib-protruding  cur,  yelping  at  the 
height  of  his  miserable  lungs,  is  a  "debit"  dog,  while 
a  powerful,  handsome,  massive  St.  Bernard  maj"  be 
called  a  "credit"  canine.  Considered  in  a  larger  and 
more  personal  way,  the  bookkeeper's  daily  life  may 
be  divided  along  similar  lines.  When  he  goes  to  bed 
in  the  wee,  small  hours  of  the  morning,  walking  like  a 
question  mark;  when  he  awakens  with  a  splitting, 
cracking  headache,  necessitating  that  great  alleviator 
of  modern  civilized  suffering,  the  ice  pack,  when  he 
acquires  the  dark-brown,  Godless  taste  in  his  mouth, 
making  all  food  seem  like  putty  mixed  with  sawdust 
and  flavored  with  linseed  oil ;  when  he  goes  down  to 
work,  dragging  his  limbs  along  as  if  they  weighed  a 
ton;  when  he  makes  a  faint-hearted  effort  really  to  do 
some  work  and  finds  his  mind  dull  and  blue,  with  its 
energy  completely  sapped — then  he  is  entering  every 
item  on  the  debit  side  of  his  life — ^his  character — his 
soul.  But  when,  on  the  contrary,  he  arises  from  a 
deep  sleep  with  the  boimd  of  a  leopard,  goes  to  his 
meal  with  the  appetite  of  a  long-fasting  boa-con- 
strictor, speeds  to  his  work,  every  atom  of  his  body 
alive  with  buoyant  energy,  plunges  into  his  tasks  with 
the  enthusiasm  of  a  mining  stock  floater — then,  ah, 
then,  the  credit  side  gets  the  entries. 

Everyone  of  us  carries  some  kind  of  balance,  debit 
or  credit.  For  every  blue,  morbid,  soulless  "debit" 
thought  there  should  be  a  larger  "credit"  one  of  up- 

75 


76 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


I 


The  Bookkeeper — Ills  Accuracy        77 

lifting  optimism  ;md  i-;i(li;int  choor.  And  then  we 
should  learn  to  distinguisli  exactly  what  things  are 
debit  and  what  credit.  A  ham  sandwich  to  a  healthy 
man  usually  is  a  credit  entry;  into  the  poor,  miser- 
able dysi)epiic  it  would  better  not  be  entered  at  all. 

The  bookkeeper  is  bounded  by  a  ledger,  a  pile  of 
statements,  a  long  row  of  figures  and  a  worried  look. 
]\rost  noticeable  and  constant  is  the  worried  look.  At 
any  time  of  the  day  the  casual  ol)server  may  note  the 
deep,  furrowed  lines,  the  wrinkling  eyebrows,  the 
nervous  twitchings  and  the  many  other  disastrous 
symptoms  caused  by  the  deadly  struggles  with  the 
trial  balance.  The  trial  balance  is  a  relic  of  the  in- 
quisition. The  beginner  in  the  mysteries  of  accounts 
would  far  rather  endure  the  rack  with  its  actual, 
visible,  physical  torture  than  this  dreaded,  terrorizing, 
invisible  ogre  of  treacherous  figures.  The  subject  is 
so  intense  that  it  is  worthy  of  metaphor.  As  the  thun- 
der clouds  of  a  tornado  swoop  over  the  doomed  ham- 
let of  Kansas  carrying  destruction  in  their  paths,  so 
the  sable-lined  depressions  of  the  trial  balance  darken 
and  destroy  the  spirits  of  a  novice  in  the  field  of  ac- 
counting. Is  it  a  wonder  that  the  nerves  of  so  many 
bookkeepers  break  down  in  the  long,  arduous  strain 
of  making  the  monthly  reckoning?  It  takes  the  cour- 
age of  a  St.  George  to  conquer  in  the  combat. 

In  a  sympathetic  and  charitable  frame  of  mind  let 
us  calmly  and  dispassionately  analyze  and  dissect  our 
lovable  and  confiding  friend,  the  bookkeeper.  In  fig- 
ure he  is  usually  slight,  with  a  tendency  to  stoop.  This 
is  due  to  the  fact  that  his  stamina  has  been  directed 
to  the  upbuilding  of  and  maintaining  a  tremendous, 
intense,  rapid-calculating  brain.  His  face,  though 
somewhat  drawn,  is  kindly  but  incisive ;  he  looks  as 
if  he  fed  on  much  pepper  and  high  seasonings.  He 
suggests  the  keen  blade  of  a  knife.  He  looks  mental 
and  mathematical  rather  than  vital.  His  penetrating 
glance  suggests  a  brain,  nourished  on  fractions,  loga- 
rithms and  syllogisms.  Long,  lean  hands,  delicate 
and  refined,  indicate  the  nervous  sensitive  tempera- 
ment.    He  is  clean,  immaculately  clean,  physically, 


78 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


'His  cleanliness  borders  upon  the  supernatural*' 


mentally  and  morally,  and  the  only  creature  who  can 
handle  red  ink,  a  bad  pen  and  a  rough  edged  ruler 
without  blotting  the  page.  His  cleanliness  borders  on 
the  supernatural. 

His  method  of  working  is  very  appealing,  and  many 
a  time  have  I  stood  in  a  state  of  dumb  marvel  watch- 
ing him  add  a  column  of  figures  from  three  to  six  feet 
long.  Here  is  the  way  he  does  it,  and  it  is  exquisitely 
fascinating:  He  takes  his  pencil  between  his  fingers, 
draws  a  deep  breath,  catches  his  mental  stride  and  is 
off.  With  the  speed  of  a  runaway  automobile  that 
deft  hand  shoots  up  the  line,  as  with  superhuman  abil- 
ity he  annexes  singles,  doubles,  triplets  and  certainly 
combinations  of  greater  number  in  mad  haste.  His 
eyes  blink  at  the  top;  he  relaxes  for  an  instant;  sets 
down  a  little  figure  with  42  to  carry,  and  is  off  again. 


Tlie  Bookkeeper — llis  Accuracy        79 

How  he  ever  got  the  42  to  carry  I  do  not  know.  I 
never  could  find  it  in  my  head  or  out,  though  I  added 
it  up  at  least  fifteen  times  getting  anywhere  from  27 
to  72  to  carry.  It  was  the  largest  single  chunk  of 
brain  produce  ever  I  witnessed.  In  desperation  I  di- 
vided the  column  into  ten  different  installments  and 
came  within  3  of  the  correct  solution,  which  being  so 
small  a  difference  and  not  worth  fighting  over,  I  let  go, 
I  would  back  that  man  against  the  best  adding  ma- 
chine in  the  country,  for  the  machine  might  break 
down ;  he  never  will. 

The  great,  essential,  predominating  virtue  of  the 
accountant  is  accuracy.  Accuracy  is  the  god  of  the 
business  world,  and  to  him  every  competent  "book- 
keep"  bows  his  humble  knee  in  homage.  An  account- 
ant friend  of  mine  in  a  bank  makes  less  than  one  mis- 
take a  year ;  in  fact,  he  divides  it  between  three  years 
on  the  average,  and  then  his  eyesight  is  responsible. 
I  would  match  him  with  perfection  and  take  an  even 
bet.  He  is  so  accurate  he  can  walk  a  block  without 
getting  a  half-inch  deviation  from  a  straight  line. 
His  hair  is  parted  so  exactly  in  the  middle  that  a 
square  and  compass  cannot  find  a  fractional  error  in 
the  symmetry.  His  language  is  so  perfectly  concise 
and  accurate  that  you  know  the  exact  time  and  the 
identical  place  that  anything  he  ever  did  or  saw  took 
place.  He  wakes  every  morning  at  6 :13  1-2  without 
effort,  breakfasts  at  6 :43  on  3  1-2  pieces  of  toast  and 
1  3-7  cups  of  coffee,  walks  to  town  and  reports  at  7 :57 
for  business. 

The  bookkeeper  finds  it  as  important  to  correct  an 
error  of  three  cents  as  one  of  two  million  dollars. 
Often  you  will  note  one  laboring  away  with  the  per- 
spiration streaming  over  his  face,  hour  after  hour  toil- 
ing to  find  an  error  of  two  cents.  The  smaller  the 
mistake  the  more  it  worries  him.  A  couple  of  thou- 
sands out  of  the  w^ay  is  inconsequential,  but  five  cents 
WTong — heaven  help  him — is  a  fearful  catastrophe. 
He  will  spend  $10  worth  of  time  to  correct  it  if  it  is 
on  the  wrong  side  of  the  ledger  and  $20  if  the  infin- 
itesimal balance  is  on  the  right  side.     A  friend  of 


80  Clever  Business  Sketches 

mine  once  said  to  him,  ''Let  it  go.  Pay  it  or  pocket 
it  yourself,  or  charge  it  to  profit  and  loss. ' '  A  ghastly 
look  came  into  the  bookkeeper's  eyes  and  he  clutched 
at  his  breast  in  terror  at  the  thought.  The  act  doubt- 
less would  have  killed  him,  for  that  five  cents  meant 
5-10  of  his  pride,  and  he  was  prouder  than  Lucifer  at 
his  zenith.  One  day  a  friend  of  his  added  13  to  52  and 
made  75.  IIow  he  did  it  is  beyond  my  powers  of  com- 
prehension, but  at  any  rate  the  bookkeeper  went  into 
a  dead  faint,  requiring  the  smelling  salts  and  chafing 
of  the  hands  to  bring  him  to.  For  a  time  he  was 
threatened  with  brain  fever  and  muttered  incoher- 
ently "13  plus  52  equals  75."  His  moaning  was  piti- 
ful as  his  mistak'clcss  ])i'ain  reeled  against  the  horror. 

One  of  the  wonderful  features  of  bookkeeping  to 
the  uninitiated  (and  I  regret  that  I  belong  to  that 
number)  is  the  vast  sum  that  is  carried  on  the  books. 
A  little  concern,  possibly  doing  from  $4.87  to  $6.73 
a  day  had  a  tremendous  account  of  six  figures  that  re- 
quired pondering  over  and  AVTCstling  with  monthly. 
Four  cents  tacked  on  to  $832,756  always  looked  to  me 
as  a  trifle  out  of  its  proper  class.  They  told  me  the 
books  had  been  running  since  the  Declaration  of  Inde- 
pendence and  some  of  the  accounts  bearing  eight  per 
cent  interest. 

The  next  feature  of  the  bookkeeper  for  considera- 
tion is  his  system.  This  often  borders  on,tho  mar- 
velous: "John,  please  tell  me  the  amount  and  items 
of  goods  sold  to  Thomas  &  Sons  about  six  years  ago. 
Give  me  such  details  as  you  have." 

John  knows  his  business.  ITe  whips  out  the  six- 
year-old  ledger,  a  like  aged  journal  and  cash  book, 
and  in  less  than  twelve  seconds  he  has  the  account, 
itemized,  specialized,  notes  as  to  time  of  payment,  etc. 
It  always  paralyzes  the  easy-going  business  man  with 
wonder.  System,  system,  the  regulator  of  the  uni- 
verse, what  a  wonder  it  is!  The  competent  book- 
keeper usually  knows  more  about  a  firm's  business 
than  the  entire  board  of  directors  together.  Ordi- 
narily he  has  every  little  d(>tnil,  cost,  ovory  tiny  item 
of  expense,  every  molecular,  infinitesimal  transaction 


The  Bookkeeper — His  Accuracy        81 


'A  couple  of  thousand  out  of  the  way  is  of  no  consequence'^ 


at  his  systematic  command.  And  he  is  as  certain  as 
death. 

A  bookkeeper  in  a  bank  is  more  reliable  than  facts. 
You  can  back  him  against  certainty.  Did  you  ever 
think  your  bank  book  was  incorrectly  balanced?  Per- 
haps you  went  over  it  five  or  six  times,  carefully  and 
as  you  thought,  accurately,  and  gradually  your  ire 
waxed  strong  and  you  determined  upon  a  mild  form 
of  murder.  You  hastened  to  the  bank,  rolled  out  your 
carpet  and  endeavored  to  put  the  bookkeeper  thereon. 
Coolly  and  collectedly  he  looked  through  your  ac- 
count, said  it  was  perfectly  correct  and  went  over  the 
operation  with  you  carefully.  You  erred  somewhere, 
and  triumphantly  he  won,  wlyle  you  swallowed  your 
pride  and  apologized  as  best  you  could.  Don't  fool 
with  fate;  it  is  a  losing  game. 

The  all-around  bookkeeper  of  the  smaller,  live  of- 


82  Clever  Business  Sketches 

fice  is  a  nine-days'  wonder.  You,  as  manager,  fire  in 
details,  right  and  left,  promiscuously  and  miscellane- 
ously, rarely  knowing  under  what  heading  they  come, 
lie  takes  in  every  little  one,  segregates  it,  classifies  it 
and  puts  it  in  place  as  accurately  as  time  itself.  His 
mind  is  pigeon-holed  with  orderly  compartments  and 
he  has  room  for  everything  without  crowding. 

The  bookkeeper  is  often  viewed  in  the  light  of  a 
drudge  or  a  plodder.  The  question  frequently  enters 
one's  mind  as  to  whether  or  not  he  really  can  enjoy 
his  work.  "Wherein  does  the  adding  of  sevens  to  sixes 
and  threes  to  fives  give  pleasure?  "Wherein  does  the 
never-ending  digging,  digging  for  trivialities  give 
zest  or  joy  ?  Can  there  be  any  real  interest  in  making 
out  bills,  statements,  receipts,  balances  and  the  like? 
"What  satisfaction  is  there  in  knowing  that  Harry 
Smith,  with  an  account  of  $12.85,  has  paid  $7.85.  and 
has  $5  to  come ;  that,  if  he  pays,  say  $2.50  in  three 
months,  as  he  likely  will  in  order  to  keep  peace  with 
the  house  and  get  new  credit  and  then  orders  further 
goods  to  the  extent  of  $17.25,  his  outstanding  bill  will 
be  $10.75?  "Where  is  there  anything  worth  the  while 
in  such  knowledge?  "What  value  is  it  and  of  what 
real  profit?  Of  what  use  is  it  to  add  up  row  after 
row  of  figures,  meaningless  figures,  to  plod  day  after 
day,  month  after  month,  year  after  year,  and  then 
finally  drop  out  for  a  younger  man?  Is  the  game 
worth  the  candle,  worth  the  responsibility,  aye,  worth 
the  reproach  that  often  may  be  administered? 

The  answer  is  this:  "With  all  the  drudgery  of  a 
hard,  honest  job  there  is  mixed  a  thrill  of  pleasure  for 
work  well  done,  for  responsibility  well  taken  care  of, 
for  knowledge,  yes,  knowledge  of  detail,  well  learned 
for  a  struggle  fought  to  a  long  hard  finish.  The 
knowledge  that  the  manager  can  depend  to  the  last 
figure  on  everything  quoted  him  by  the  competent 
bookkeeper  is  a  source  of  real  pleasure.  A  good,  loyal 
boolckccjier  thrills  when  an  old  account,  one  of  those 
doubtful,  longstanding  heirlooms,  comes  in  paid,  even 
with  the  dust  of  ages  clinging  to  it;  paid  in  full  and 
the  account  balances.     And  there  is  a  thrill  in  show- 


The  Bookkeeper — Ilis  Accuracy        83 

ing  a  neat,  clean  loflp;er,  properly  red-inked,  the  fig- 
ures legible  and  rounding,  bearing  witness  to  infinite 
care  and  thoroughness.  And  there  is  still  a  greater 
thrill  when  that  trial  balance  comes  out  right  the  first 
time,  evidencing  difficult  work  well  performed. 

This  article  is  intended  to  be  a  satire,  but  our  friend, 
the  patient,  care-taking  bookkeeper,  often  so  little  ap- 
preciated, is  deserving  of  better  treatment.  And  he 
docs  not  want  to  be  treated,  either,  as  martyr  to  the 
business  world. 

The  bookkeeper  in  our  office  is  a  genius,  a  mathe- 
matical paragon.  She  can  add  three  rows  of  figures  at 
a  time,  multiply  by  instinct,  divide  by  intuition,  and 
subtract  by  mental  telegraphy.  Tier  figures  combine 
beauty  and  legibility  in  a  delightful  way.  She  can 
make  two  or  three  hundred  statements  and  as  many 
receipts  with  one  part  of  her  mind  and  figure  out  the 
next  payroll  with  another.  She  indulges  in  figures 
with  the  avidity  of  a  ten-year-old  boy  for  pumpkin 
pie.  Her  recreation  consists  in  adding  diagonally  and 
at  right  angles,  and  in  subtracting  backwards.  She 
is  a  juggler  of  numbers  and  has  all  the  short  cuts  cut 
in  two. 

Ordinarily  the  shortest  distance  between  two  points 
is  a  straight  line — she  skips  it,  starting  here  and  being 
there  with  nothing  between..  Her  special  delight  is  the 
cash  book,  though  she  takes  great  joy  in  the  journal, 
often  memorizing  the  entire  entries  for  the  month. 
IMany  a  time  have  1  seen  her  rapturously  poring  over 
the  outstanding  accounts,  committing  their  rates, 
amounts  and  items  to  memory  with  the  accuracy  of 
an  Aristotle.  She  knows  them  far  better  than  the  de- 
linquents, and  we  endeavor  usually  to  keep  them 
vividly  reminded  of  their  disgraces.  Joy?  She  gets 
a  full  quota  of  that  substance  in  its  most  ethereal 
form  and  fairly  fattens  on  it. 

Who  invented  the  art  and  science  of  bookkeeping? 
What  great,  overmastering  mind  thought  out  the  mys- 
teries of  ledger,  journal,  posting  and  balancing? 
Doubtless  it  has  come  do^^^l  from  the  ages,  hallowed 
in  the  minds  of  the  prehistoric  "bookkeeps"  as  it  is 


84  Clever  Business  Sketches 

in  those  of  today.  Imagine  the  old  inhabitants  of  the 
Stone  Age  cleaving  with  chisel  and  mallet,  monthly 
balances  of  the  large  firms  of  their  day.  Picture  to 
your  minds  the  writers  on  parchments  preparing  roll 
after  roll  of  figures  in  their  hunt  for  the  proper  total. 
"Why  did  not  that  great  Greek  sculptor,  Phidias,  mould 
a  marble  form  of  the  head  "l)0()kkcep"  of  the  Athen- 
ian age  that  we  of  today  might  look  upon  a  real  war- 
rior of  old? 

May  the  bookkeeper  fight  on  as  the  modern  hero 
must,  facing  every  task  with  a  courage  invincible, 
conquering  every  dry,  uninteresting,  tasteless  task 
with  the  enthusiasm  born  of  true  bravery  and  strug- 
gling, always  struggling  upward  to  the  heights. 


THE  PHANTOM  BOOKKEEPER. 

BY    CHARLES   A.    SWEETLAND. 

"Although  not  in  the  same  old  way,"  I  am  still 
the  bookkeeper  of  the  linn  of  Preston  &  King. 

At  one  time — it  does  not  seem  so  very  long  ago — 
there  appeared  to  be  somi!  danger  of  losing  my  posi- 
tion, and  being  sueeeeded  by  a  ghost.  Fortunately  for 
me,  I  captured  the  "spook,"  or  rather  was  captured 
by  it,  and  a  permanent  stop  was  put  upon  its  myste- 
rious aetions. 

This  is  how  it  occurred: 

I  had  been  working  quite  hard  and  was  not  feeling 
my  best  when  the  lirst  visitation  occurred.  One  morn- 
ing I  was  too  ill  (with  a  splitting  headache  and  bad 
cold)  to  go  down  town,  so  I  succeeded  in  bribing  the 
thirteen-year-old  son  of  my  landlady  to  send  off  two 
telephone  messages,  one  to  inform  the  firm  of  my  in- 
ability to  perform  my  usual  duties  and  the  other  to  my 
physician. 

I  was  in  bed  two  days.  Upon  the  third  day  I  re- 
ported to  the  store  with  the  unpleasant  anticipation 
of  the  extra  work  which  I  would  find  necessary  to  per- 
form in  order  to  catch  up  with  the  constant  grind  of 
business.  Imagine  my  surprise  to  find  that  someone 
had  been  at  my  books  and  that  all  of  the  two  previous 
days'  business  was  properly  entered,  and  all  of  the 
posting  done  up  to  date. 

"Brewster,  who  has  kept  my  books  up  while  I  was 
off?"  I  asked  of  the  bill  clerk. 

"I  have  not  noticed  a  soul  touch  them,"  replied 
Brewster;  "Mv.  Preston  made  some  entries  of  cash 
received,  upon  slips,  and  hung  them  on  j'our  file ; 
that  is  all." 

I  looked  around  carefully.    I  could  find  no  slips. 

I  asked  the  stenographer  if  he  had  noticed  anyone 
at  my  books.  He  said,  to  his  certain  knowledge,  the 
books  had  not  been  out  of  the  safe,  during  either  of 
the  two  days  of  my  absence. 

1  was  properly  puzzled. 

85 


86  Clever  Business  Sketches 

I  looked  over,  went  over,  and  checked  over  until 
I  was  dizzy,  hoping  perhaps  to  find  a  clue  to  my  as- 
sistant, but  evt-rylhing  was  right  as  a  trivet.  The 
handwriting  of  the  various  entries  was  new  to  me. 
I  compared  it  carefully  with  that  of  every  person 
employed  in  the  house,  but  could  not  find  one  which 
was,  in  any  measure,  like  it.  I  did  not  speak  to  either 
of  the  firm,  as  I  could  not  tell  how  they  would  relish 
the  idea  of  a  third  party  (and  an  unknown  party,  at 
that),  having  access  to  my  books. 

I  confess  I  was  worried.  However,  my  work  was 
done,  and  well  done,  so  I  could  not,  with  justice,  com- 
plain. It  was  on  the  third  day  after  this  occurrence 
that  something  happened  which  added  to  my  mystifi- 
cation. 

About  three  o'clock  one  afternoon  there  was  sud- 
denly a  number  of  sharp  raps  heard,  emanating  from 
my  de.sk.  They  could  be  heard  distinctly  in  any  part 
of  the  office. 

"What's  in  your  desk,  Stanhope,  spook?"  cried 
Brewster. 

I  answered  negatively,  with  a  laugh,  but,  remem- 
bering the  peculiar  occurrence  of  which  1  had  been 
able  to  obtain  no  explanation,  but  of  which  I  had  kept 
my  own  counsel,  I  was  really  not  quite  so  positive. 

Spiritualism  had  always  appeared  to  me  an  arrant 
"fake";  the  most  untenable  of  all  "isms,"  and  I 
made  up  my  mind  to  discover,  if  possible,  in  what 
natural  manner  my  books  had  been  kept  for  me  during 
my  absence,  as  I  was  very  loth  to  believe  that  there 
was   anything  supernatural   about  it. 

The  rapping  continued,  from  time  to  time,  for  sev- 
eral days.  I  searched  for  the  cause,  but  at  that  time, 
failed  to  discover  it.  In  order  to  test  "his  ghost- 
ship"  more  fully,  I  a.sked  for  leave  of  absence  to 
visit  some  relatives  in  a  neighboring  state.  It  was 
freely  granted,  so  I  left  the  city  Saturday  night,  and 
did  not  return  until  the  next  Thursday  evening. 

You  may  be  sure  that  the  first  thing  I  did,  upon 
my  appearance  at  the  office  Friday  morning,  was  to 
look  over  my  books,  to  ascertain  whether  or  not  my 


The  Phantom  Bookkeeper  87 

strange  helper  hnd  kept  busy.  As  before  I  found 
every  entry  properly  made,  and  all  of  the  posting  up 
to  date. 

1  was  more  bewildered  than  ever.  I  thought  se- 
riously of  asking  a  year's  vacation,  letting  the  "phan- 
tom" do  my  work,  but  I  was  afraid,  if  I  put  so  much 
labor  upon  "his  highness"  he  might  insist  upon  draw- 
ing my  salary  as  well,  an  alternative  I  could  not  con- 
template with  equanimity. 

All  of  my  inquiries  failed  to  throw  any  light  upon 
the  subject.  No  one  in  the  office  or  store  had  seen  a 
hand  upon  my  books  during  my  absence,  and  yet  the 
work  was  done,  and  beautifully  done. 

The  mysterious  rappings  occurred  at  intervals,  as 
if  to  remind  me  that  my  spirit  comrade  was  with  me, 
ever.  Oh,  how  I  sympathized  with  him,  when  I  took 
this  view  of  it.  Bad  enough,  heaven  knows,  to  be 
obliged  to  keep  books  during  life,  but  after  one  has 
shaken  off  this  mortal  coil  and  expects  better  things, 
ugh!  I  determined  to  solve  the  tantalizing  mystery, 
if  possible,  as  it  was  robbing  me  of  sleep,  and  causing 
crow's  feet,  and  gray  hairs,  if  I  could  believe  my 
friends.  As  everyone  united  in  asserting  that  my 
books  were  never  out  of  the  safe  during  the  day,  I 
made  up  my  mind  that  the  ' '  ghost ' '  must  do  his  work 
at  night. 

I  determined,  forthwith,  to  lay  a  trap  to  catch  the 
visitor  unaware.  I  carefully  greased  my  door  key, 
and  the  tumblers  of  the  lock,  as  well.  I  had  rubber 
heels  and  soles  put  on  my  shoes,  so  that  1  could  creep 
in  without  noise,  as  I  had  read  that  spirits  were  very 
easily  frightened.  When  all  was  prepared  I  became 
suddenly  indisposed  again,  telephoning  the  fact  to 
the  office,  as  before. 

Of  course  I  was  in  sufficient  good  health,  by  eve- 
ning, to  pursue  my  investigations.  I  placed  a  revolver 
in  my  pocket,  loaded  with  "dum-dum"  bullets,  as  I 
had  heard  that  ghosts  were  hard  to  annihilate.  When 
all  my  preparations  were  completed  I  made  my  way 
to  the  vicinity  of  the  store. 

As  I  approached  the  store  I  discerned  a  bright  light 


88  Clever  Business  Sketches 

shining  from  the  windows  of  the  office.  The  "phan- 
tom" was  evidently  imablc  to  do  good  work  in  the 
darkness.  It  was  ten  o'clock,  or  perhaps  a  little  be- 
fore that  hour, 

I  crept  around  to  the  side  door.  Using  all  of  the 
caution  at  my  connnand,  1  inserted  the  greased  key 
and  unlocked  tlic  door.  The  bolt  slipped  back  noise- 
lessly, and  allowed  me  to  enter  without  attracting 
any  attention. 

The  office  was  at  the  rear  of  the  store,  so  I  tip-toed 
slowly  and  carefully  to  the  glass  partition ;  then, 
standing  on  a  low  box,  I  stretched  my  neck  and 
peered  over.  As  anticipated,  all  of  my  books  were 
spread  open  upon  the  desk,  but  there  was  not  a  per- 
son in  sight.  I  dropped  back  from  my  strained  posi- 
tion and  as  I  did  so  I  heard  a  noise  which  sounded 
very  like  a  pen  scratching  over  the  paper.  Now  I 
would  catch  him.  The  Phantom  was  making  an  entry. 
I  raised  myself  and  looked  again.  No  one  was  at  the 
desk,  although  the  scratching  noise  continued.  I 
could  not  see  the  floor. 

After  thinking  a  moment,  I  determined  to  enter 
the  office.  As  I  carefully  swung  the  door  open  I  saw 
— that  which,  in  my  overwrought  state,  almost  trans- 
fixed me. 

1  saw  the  figure  of  a  man,  upon  his  knees,  before 
the  cash  safe.  His  back  was  toward  me,  but  I  could 
see  that  the  outer  doors  were  open,  and  that  he  had 
mastered  the  inner  combination.  It  was  the  clicking 
of  the  di.scs,  as  they  revolved,  which  I  had  heard ;  the 
noise  which  had  seemed  to  me  like  so  many  pen 
scratches. 

The  safe  was  in  the  corner  of  the  office,  farthest 
from  the  door,  close  to  the  manager's  desk.  It  stood 
in  such  a  manner  that  anyone  opening  it  must  do  so 
with  his  back  toward  the  door  of  the  office. 

If  this  was  my  ghostly  assistant,  he  was  evidently 
bent  upon  collecting  his  salary. 

In  times  of  sudden  nerve-tension  thoughts  fly  rap- 
idly. As  I  tried  mentally  to  determine  my  best  course 
of  action,  I  saw  the  man  reach  into  the  inner  safe, 


The  Phantom  Bookkeeper  89 

seize  a  good-sized  bundle  of  bills  and  stow  them  away 
in  his  capacious  pocket,  li"  1  raised  the  alarm  the 
robber  stood  a  good  chance  of  getting  away.  If  1  tried 
to  ring  for  the  i)olice,  he  would  certainly  escape,  and 
very  likely  shoot  nie,  in  the  bargain.  If  I  used  my 
revolver,  which  I  held  in  my  hand,  I  ran  the  risk  of 
missing  him,  as  I  was  none  the  best  of  shots,  and  the 
light  was  uncertain.  At  the  report  he  might  (if  a 
spirit)  evaporate  into  thin  air.  Besides  these  objec- 
tions, I  had  a  natural  antipathy  to  shooting  a  man 
when  he  was  down;  and  in  the  back,  too.  No,  I 
would  not  do  it. 

I  finally  made  up  my  mind,  much  quicker  than  it 
has  taken  to  tell  it.  I  would  try  and  overpower,  and 
capture  the  man.  His  position  was  such  that  I  would 
have  every  advantage.  1  was  quite  an  athlete,  and 
felt  no  fear  in  matching  my  strength  with  his.  I 
crept  quietly  toward  him,  and,  when  near  enough, 
made  a  leap  which  landed  me  square  upon  his  broad 
back. 

I  found  him  flesh  and  blood  indeed,  and  very  ener- 
getic flesh  and  blood  at  that. 

We  struggled  desperately  for  a  time,  which  seemed, 
indeed,  an  age.  At  some  moments  it  would  seem  to  be 
impossible  for  me  to  continue  my  ascendancy.  The 
man  acted  like  a  cornered  animal.  He  writhed  and 
twisted,  trying  his  best  to  turn  over,  so  that  he  might 
embrace  me  with,  what  I  felt  would  be  a  death  grip, 
should  it  ever  happen.  His  frantic  efforts  to  free  him- 
self or  overpower  me,  seemed  to  continue  for  hours, 
but  was  probabl}^  for  only  a  few  seconds,  when  I  felt 
a  weakening  in  his  straining  muscles,  a  giving  way 
in  his  rigid  form,  and  with  a  last  herculean  effort  I 
forced  him  to  the  floor,  with  my  knees  pressed  close 
upon  each  side  of  his  back,  while  my  hands  tightly 
compressed  his  throat  from  behind,  holding  his  face 
pressed  against  the  floor.  I  feared  to  move  lest  he 
should  recover  his  feet,  and  overpower  me.  While  I 
had  him  in  this  position  I  felt  sure  that  I  could  hold 
him. 

What  was  I  to  do?    I  could  not  hold  myself  at  this 


90  Clever  Business  Sketches 

tension  all  night.  1  called  once  or  twice,  at  the  top 
of  my  voice:  "Police!  Police!"  but  the  tones 
seemed  to  be  those  of  an  infant  as  they  reverberated 
through  the  great  store.  If  I  could  only  leave  him  for 
an  instant  I  would  ring  the  District  Telegraph  call  for 
the  police.  I  tried,  with  all  my  strength,  to  force  him 
over  toward  the  w'all,  in  hope  to  be  able  to  reach  it. 
The  call  was  at  the  side  of  Mr,  Preston's  desk,  and 
back  of  us.  I  could  not  make  it.  His  strength,  under 
equal  conditions,  would  have  matched  mine,  if  not 
surpassed  it,  and  it  was  only  my  great  advantage  of 
him,  in  position  and  hold,  that  enabled  me  to  cope  with 
him  at  all. 

"My  God,"  I  cried,  "  if  I  could  only  reach  that 
police  call." 

What  was  that? 

Surely  I  saw  the  door  of  the  closet  in  which  we  kept 
our  coats,  moving  outward.  I  watched  it  in  fascina- 
tion. It  opened  further.  Yes,  it  moves  again.  Now 
it  was  open  wide  enough  to  allow  the  egress  of  a  per- 
son, and — 

"Let  me  call  the  police  for  you,  Mr.  Stanhope." 

It  was  a  woman's  voice.    It  was  a  woman's  form. 

Out  into  the  office  she  came,  revealing  to  my  aston- 
ished and  incredulous  gaze  the  interesting  personality 
of  Miss  Louise  Preston,  my  patron's  youngest  daugh- 
ter. 

Without  another  word  she  stepped  to  the  District 
Telegraph  call,  adjusted  it  for  the  police,  and  quickly 
pulled  the  lever.  Just  at  that  moment  the  noise  of  an 
oi)eniiig  door  from  the  outer  room  was  distinctly 
audible. 

"Papa,  papa,  hurry,  hurry!  I\Ir.  Stanhope  has 
caught  a  burglar."  She  ran  to  the  office  door  as  she 
called  and  peered  into  the  store.  I  had  to  give  my  en- 
tire attention  to  my  captive  now,  as  he  was  becoming 
very  restive. 

Mr.  Preston  (for  it  was  he)  hurried  into  the  office 
and  came  at  once  to  my  assistance.  It  was  well  that 
he  did,  as  I  was  rapidly  losing  my  strength.  Together 
we  soon  rendered  the  bold  miscreant  hors  du  combat, 


The  PhantoDi  BoolJiceper  91 

and  hold  liim  securely  until  the  police  arrived  and  took 
him  in  charge. 

"Well,  my  daughter,  Mr.  Stanhope  has  caught  you 
at  it.    Eh?" 

"I  am  glad  that  he  came,"  answered  the  young 
lady,  "for  I  was  nearly  frightened  to  death." 

I  looked  from  one  to  the  other,  dazed.  Was  this 
the  fair  "spirit"  whom  I  had  been  pursuing,  and 
who  was  responsible  for  the  excellent  condition  of  my 
books  during  my  absence?  I  waited  impatiently  for 
further  explanation. 

"What  about  the  robber,  my  dear?"  asked  Mr. 
Preston,  as  he  passed  his  arm  around  the  beautiful 
girl's  waist.  She  was  trembling,  now  that  the  danger 
was  over,  and  pale  with  fright. 

"Oh,  papa,  a  little  while  after  you  left  to  get 
shaved  I  heard  a  noise  at  one  of  the  windows.  I  ran 
into  the  closet  to  watch.  1  was  not  afraid;  I  was 
just  a  little  bit  timid.  I  saw  the  man  creep  into  the 
window  and  go  to  the  safe.  Then  I  realized  that  it 
was  a  bui'glar,  and  became  cold  as  death  with  fear.  I 
could  do  nothing.  I  watched  him  through  the  crack 
of  the  door,  in  fascinated  silence,  as  he  worked,  and 
made  up  my  mind  to  give  the  alarm  as  soon  as  he  was 
out  of  the  store.  It  seemed  so  long.  I  began  to  fear 
that  you  would  return,  and  I  knew  that  he  would  kill 
you.  Finally  Mr.  Stanhope  came  from  'I  know  not 
where'  and  sprang  upon  him.  Oh,  how  I  shuddered 
as  they  struggled  and  groaned.  I  feared — Oh,  I 
feared  that  he  would  be  killed.  Then  Mr.  Stanhope 
— Well,  papa,  he  needed  some  one  to  ring  the  police 
alarm,  and  1  came  out  and  did  it.    That  is  all,  papa. ' ' 

* '  And  it  is  quite  enough.  I  was  a  fool  to  leave  you, 
darling,  for  a  moment,  but  we  become  careless  as  we 
are  unmolested  and  forget  our  caution.  The  man 
must  have  seen  me  leave  the  office  and  took  me  for  the 
bookkeeper.  He  evidently  expected  to  finish  his  job 
while  I  was  absent.  Now,  we  must  put  ourselves  right 
with  Mr.  Stanhope." 

"Please  do,  papa,"  said  Louise;  "he'll  think  that 
I  am  very  bold." 


92  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"Well,  Stanhope,  to  account  for  this  untimely — 
or,  perhaps,  I  had  better  say  timely,  appearance  here, 
I  will  say  that  my  self-willed  daughter  wanted  some 
practical  experience  in  bookkeeping.  She  had  al- 
ready graduated  from  the  tlieoretical  school.  The  day 
your  first  absence  occurred  she  asked  to  be  permitted 
to  practice  upon  your  books  at  night,  and,  as  I 
thought,  w'ith  my  help,  she  might,  perhaps,  struggle 
through  it,  I  weakly  allowed  her  to  come.  I  told  her 
that  if  she  muddled  you  up,  she  could  not  do  it  again. 
As  you  made  no  complaints,  I  concluded  the  work  was 
satisfactory." 

"It  was  all  right.  It  was  beautifully  done,"  I  an- 
swered. "I  wish  I  could  have  such  an  assistant  with 
me  always." 

A  bright  blush  burned  in  Miss  Preston's  pale  cheek 
as  I  spoke,  and  she  answered  my  look,  w^hich  plainly 
said,  "]\Iay  I  hope?"  with  one  which  as  plainly  said, 
"You  may." 

"I  must  admit,  however,"  I  continued,  "I  have 
been  somewhat  muddled.  I  began  to  fear  that  I  was 
haunted ;  and  I  came  down  here  tonight  to  capture, 
or  dispel,  the  spirit." 

"You  have  succeeded  admirably,"  said  Mr.  Preston. 

Yes,  children,  this  is  your  mania's  little  romance, 
which  I  have  promised  to  tell  you  so  often.  That  hap- 
pened a  year  before  we  were  married,  and  I  went  into 
the  firm. 

The  burglar?  Oh,  he  received  the  usual  long  peni- 
tentiary sentence.  No  trouble  to  convict  him,  as  he 
was  caught  in  the  act. 

Later  I  discovered  the  cause  of  the  'spirit'  rap- 
pings  in  my  desk.  A  brass-lined  ruler  was  in  one  of 
my  desk  drawers,  poised  about  the  center  upon  a  rub- 
ber eraser;    a  mou.se  had  been  using  it  for  a  runway. 

So  you  see,  children,  papa's  ghost  story  was  com- 
monplace after  all.  So  will  all  mysterious  things  be- 
come plain,  when  you  understand  the  cause. 


JOHN  DAVIS,  MANAGER,  AND  THE  NEW 
PRESIDENT'S  POLICY. 

BY    F.    B.    LINTON. 

John  Davis,  the  loeal  manager  of  the  Union  Tele- 
graph Co.,  walked  briskly  into  his  office,  nodded  to 
his  cashier,  and  lighted  a  cigar,  and  plunged  into  his 
morning's  mail. 

"Oh!  I  wonder  what  our  new  superintendent  has 
to  say,"  he   thought,   as  he  tore   open   an   envelope 
marked  "Superintendent's  Office."     He  read: 
Dear  Sir: 

Referring  to  your  October  reports,  I  note  that  your 
receipts  show  a  large  decrease  when  compared  with 
the  same  month  last  year.  I  also  note  that  your  ex- 
penses show  a  very  slight  decrease.  Please  explain 
this,  and  take  at  once  the  necessary  steps  to  reduce  the 
expenses  and  increase  the  receipts. 
Yours  truly, 

H.  L.  Brown,  Supt. 

"Wliew!"  he  exclaimed.  "He  is  apparently  not 
satisfied  with  my  management.  That  last  report  did 
make  a  bad  showing." 

The  Union  Telegraph  Company  w^as  undergoing  a 
reorganization.  A  new  president  had  been  chosen  at 
the  last  meeting  of  the  board  of  directors.  He  was 
ambitious,  aggressive,  and  bent  on  making  a  record. 
He  was  selected  for  the  presidency  on  his  record  for 
cutting  down  expenses  and  getting  work  out  of  men, 
made  while  he  was  general  superintendent  of  a  di- 
vision in  the  w^est.  Soon  after  his  elevation,  he  re- 
moved a  number  of  men — some  because  they  antago- 
nized his  policy,  some  because  they  had  fallen  into  a 
rut,  and  others  on  the  general  principle  that  it  is  a 
good  thing  to  infuse  new  blood  into  the  company. 

He  held  that  the  wholesale  removals  made  the  men 
that  w^ere  retained  more  industrious.  Fear  was  the 
prod  he  used  to  urge  his  subordinates  to  work. 

93 


94  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Mr.  Brown  was  appointed  a  month  ago  superin- 
tendent of  the  distriet  in  wliieh  John  Davis'  office  was 
situated.  The  old  superintendent,  who  had  been  in 
the  service  of  the  company  for  30  years,  w^as  dis- 
charged. Mr.  Brown  had  been  one  of  the  new  presi- 
dent's lieutenants  in  the  west. 

John  Davis  re-read  his  letter.    Summoning  his  sten- 
ographer, he  dictated  this  reply : 
Mr.  H.  L.  Brown,  Supt. : 

Dear  Sir — Replying  to  your  favor  of  the  6th  inst., 
I  beg  to  state  that  the  decrease  in  receipts  shown  by 
my  reports  is  due  to  a  general  depression  in  business 
in  this  city.  I  have  secured  the  business  of  a  number 
of  new  firms,  and  am  holding  the  business  of  all  our 
last  year's  customers,  but  the  manufacturers  and 
brokers  are  not  doing  as  much  business  this  year.  I 
will,  however,  continue  my  efforts  to  increase  the  busi- 
ness. 

I  do  not  think  it  practical  to  reduce  expenses  at  this 
time.  The  present  force  could  handle  more  business, 
but  the  force  cannot  be  reduced  tvithout  requiring  the 
men  to  work  unreasonably  long  hours  or  impairing  the 
efficiency  of  the  service.  Very  truly, 

J.  II.  Davis,  Mgr. 

"When  the  letter  was  handed  to  him  for  signature, 
he  hesitated. 

"That  first  part  is  all  right,"  he  said  to  himself, 
"but  the  last  part  will  grate  on  the  nerves  of  the  new 
superintendent,  if  I  have  correctly  sized  up  the  man. 
But,  no — I  won't  cut  salaries  and  I  won't  reduce  the 
force.  Every  man  here  from  the  messenger  boys  up 
to  the  chief  operator,  has  stood  by  me  in  my  efforts  to 
improve  the  service  and  get  business,  and  I  will  stand 
by  them." 

He  signed  the  letter. 

As  he  pondered,  after  mailing  his  letter  to  the  super- 
intendent, the  recent  changes  in  the  company  and  the 
probable  effects  of  the  reorganization,  "his  thoughts 
wandered  back  over  his  own  experience  since  entering 
the  service  of  the  company.  In  this  same  office,  15 
years  ago,  at  the  age  of  12,  he  began  his  telegraph  ca- 


J 


The  New  President's  Policy  ^5 

reer  as  a  messenger  boy.  He  recalled  with  a  smile  his 
feeling  of  responsibility  when  he  started  out  with  his 
first  message,  and  how  elated  he  was  when,  on  the 
night  of  that  eventful  day,  the  clerk  inspected  his  de- 
livery sheets  and  found  a  signature  for  every  message. 
Never  since  had  he  felt  so  great  a  responsibility  or  en- 
joyed so  much  a  triumph ;  not  when  he  was  promoted 
to  delivery  clerk ;  not  when,  after  practicing  for  hours 
at  night,  he  was  put  on  as  an  operator;  not  when  he 
was  promoted  to  chief  operator  and  measured  wires 
for  crosses  and  grounds  with  an  accuracy  that  de- 
lighted the  linemen ;  no,  not  when  three  years  ago  he 
was  made  manager  of  the  office. 

He  knew  and  was  Imown  by  every  man  in  the  city 
that  did  a  regular  telegraph  business.  He  had  carried 
messages  to  most  of  them  at  all  hours  of  the  day  and 
night.  Many  of  them  had  offered  him  positions  in 
their  offices  or  factories,  but  nothing  had  ever  tempted 
him  to  leave  the  telegraph  office.  Telegraphing  fas- 
cinated him.    He  loved  the  work. 

Two  days  later  he  received  this  reply  to  his  letter : 
Dear  Sir: 

Your  letter  received,  and  the  excuses  you  offer  for 
the  bad  showing  of  your  office  noted.  Results  are  what 
we  want,  however,  and  not  excuses.  I  am  obliged,  there- 
fore, to  call  for  your  resignation,  taking  effect  the  last 
day  of  this  month.  On  the  first  day  of  next  month 
I  will  send  a  man  to  relieve  you.  You  will  turn  over 
to  him  all  the  property  and  money  due  the  company, 
taking  his  receipt  for  the  same.        Yours  truly, 

H.  L.  Brown,  Supt. 

The  color  faded  from  Davis'  face  as  he  read  the  let- 
ter. Then  his  countenance  grew  stern  and  his  eyes 
flashed. 

"He  wants  results,  does  he?"  he  muttered.  "Well, 
I'll  show  him  a  few  results." 

In  a  moment  he  had  control  of  his  rising  anger,  and, 
turning  to  his  cashier,  said:  "Tom,  make  me  up  a 
statement  of  the  receipts  and  expenditures  of  the 
office  for  the  last  six  years,  showing  a  comparison  of 
the  last  three  years  with  the  three  years  previous." 


96  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"All  right,  Mr.  Davis,"  replied  the  cashier.  "I'll 
have  it  for  you  iu  half  an  hour." 

Later  in  the  day,  with  the  statement  in  his  pocket, 
Davis  left  for  Cincinnati  to  have  an  interview  with 
the  superintendent. 

"Now,  Mr.  Brown,"  said  Davis  to  the  superintend- 
ent, after  showing  him  the  statement  of  the  receipts 
and  expenses  of  the  office  for  six  years,  "that  is  my 
record.  As  you  see,  the  receipts  of  the  office  have  been 
doubled  in  the  last  three  years." 

"But  the  receipts  this  year  are  less  than  last  year. 
How  do  you  explain  that?" 

"Last  year  was  an  exceptionally  good  year.  The 
brokers  and  manufacturers  did  an  extensive  telegraph 
business,  and  I  secured  a  number  of  new  customers. 
This  year  they  are  not  doing  so  much  business." 

"Well,  why  have  you  not  decreased  your  expenses 
proportionately  ? ' ' 

"I  am  increasing  the  efficiency  of  the  service.  You 
will  note  that  the  receipts  of  the  office  have  doubled 
since  I  became  manager.  That's  the  result  of  good 
service." 

"Yes,  that's  good  as  far  as  it  goes;  but  our  policy 
is  to  reduce  expenses.  Now,  Mr.  Davis,  I  have  noth- 
ing against  you  personally,  but  my  instructions  are 
to  discharge  every  man  who  does  not  co-operate  with 
us  in  cutting  expenses.  Your  record  is  good.  If  you 
will  cut  some  salaries  in  your  office  and  get  your  ex- 
penses lower  I  will  recall  ray  request  for  your  resig- 
nation. Now,  there  is  your  cashier.  He  is  getting 
more " 

"But  he  is  a  good  man,  and  may  leave  us." 

"You  can  get  plenty  of  men  to  take  his  place;  we 
have  stacks  of  applications." 

"He  has  helped  build  up  the  business,  and  it's  hard 
to  find  a  man  that  will  put  the  enthusiasm  that  he  has 
into  the  work.     Besides,  he  stood  by  me " 

""Well,  your  chief  operator.     His  salary  is  higher 


"He  is  a  better  chief  than  the  average.     His  expe- 
rience makes  him  a  valuable  man." 


Th  e  Nc  tr  Presiden  t  's  Policy  97 

"Then  look  at  your  messenger  boys.  They  get  too 
much." 

"Why,  Mv.  Brown,  I  have  the  best  messenger  force 
in  the  country.  You  ought  to  see  tliem  hustle  for  mes- 
sages. They  work  overtime,  and  there  isn't  anything 
they  won't  do  for  me." 

"Well,  ]\Ir.  Davis,  where  will  you  reduce  expenses?" 

"You  will  pardon  me,  ]\Ir.  Brown,  when  I  state 
that  I  know  the  conditions  i«i  my  office  and  city  better 
than  you  do.  I  have  gained,  and  am  holding,  some  of 
our  biggest  customers  by  giving  them  the  best  service 
they  have  ever  had.  I  know  that  to  reduce  expenses, 
and  thereby  impair  the  service,  would  mean  a  big  loss 
of  busiaess  to  the  company." 

"It  seems  unnecessary  to  discuss  this  matter  fur- 
ther. I  understand,  then,  that  you  will  not  reduce  ex- 
penses." 

"I  will  not.    Good  day,  Mr.  Brown." 

When  Davis  arrived  at  his  office  next  morning,  his 
first  act  was  to  write  a  formal  resignation  and  for- 
ward it  to  the  superintendent.  He  went  through  his 
mail,  dictated  replies  and  cleared  up  his  desk. 

In  the  evening  he  called  all  his  employes  into  his 
office  and,  after  thanking  them  for  their  loyal  support 
and  efficient  service,  told  them  that  at  the  request  of 
the  superintendent  he  had  resigned. 

There  were  exclamations  of  surprise  and  indigna- 
tion. One  ,pf  the  operators  proposed  that  they  all 
strike.    There  were  murmurs  of  assent. 

"No,  no,"  said  Davis.  "That  would  do  you  harm 
and  would  not  do  me  any  good.  Stay  with  the  com- 
pany— for  the  present  at  least.  I  may  want  j^ou  to 
help  me  later,  but  don't  give  up  your  present  posi- 
tions until  you  get  better  ones." 

Davis,  always  energetic,  was  unusually  active  dur- 
ing the  next  few  days.  He  saw  all  the  firms  in  the 
city  that  did  a  big  telegraph  business.  He  called  their 
attention  to  the  fact,  which  most  of  them  knew,  that 
he  had  greatly  improved  the  telegraph  service  from 
that  city.  He  had  secured  direct  wires  to  New  York 
and  other  important  cities.    The  rival  telegraph  com- 


98  Clever  Business  Sketches 

paiiy  had  been  forced  to  improve  their  facilities  in 
ordiT  to  hold  part  of  the  busiiKss.  He  proposed  to 
further  improve  the  service.  Did  they  want  faster 
service  and  quicker  answers  to  their  messages?  Of 
course  they  did.  Then  he  had  a  confidential  proposi- 
tion to  make.  "Would  they  agree  to  his  conditions? 
After  hearing  thcin,  many  of  them  did. 

Four  days  before  the  date  on  which  his  resignation 
was  to  take  effect,  Davis  called  upon  Cameron,  the 
local  manager  of  the  Commercial  Telegraph  Co.  Al- 
though competitors  for  business,  and  each  keenly  alive 
to  the  interests  of  his  company,  they  were  personal 
friends.  Cameron,  who  did  not  know  that  Davis  had 
resigned,  was  dumfounded  at  the  proposition  he  made. 

*'I  shall  have  to  take  that  up  with  my  superintend- 
ent at  Cincinnati  before  I  can  give  you  an  answer, 
Davis,"  he  said,  after  expressing  the  surprise  he 
felt. 

"But  this  matter  must  be  decided  at  once,"  replied 
Davis.  "Give  me,  a  letter  to  the  superintendent  and 
I  will  go  and  see  him." 

The  superintendent,  however,  when  Davis  saw  him, 
said  he  would  have  to  hear  from  the  general  superin- 
tendont  in  Chicago.  Davis  immediately  set  out  to 
see  him. 

"I  like  your  proposition,  Mr.  Davis,"  said  the  gen- 
eral superintendent,  "but  as  it  involves  considerable 
expi^ndituro  and  a  change  in  wires  outsidf*  of  my  di- 
vision, I  shall  have  to  get  authority  from  IMr.  Adams, 
general  manager  of  the  company,  in  New  York." 

"Tie  is  the  man  I  want  to  see,  th^n,"  said  Davis. 
""Will  you  write  him  now  recommending  my  proposi- 
tion? I  will  take  the  letter  directly  to  him  and  ex- 
plain the  details." 

The  general  superintendent  gave  him  the  letter. 

Twenty-four  hours  later  Davis  arrived  in  New  York 
and  at  once  called  on  I\Tr.  Adams,  the  general  man- 
ager of  the  Commercial  Telegraph  Co. 

Briefly  Davis  outlined  his  proposition. 

"You  say  that  the  leading  firms  in  your  city  will 
give  their  telegraph  business  to  whichever  company 


The  New  President's  Policy  ^^ 

you  want  them  to?"  asked  the  president,  his  manner 
expressing  incredulity. 

"I  say  that  they  will  allow  me  to  place  their  busi- 
ness with  the  c()nii)any  that  will  give  them  the;  (juiek- 
est  service.  Here  arc  contracts  with  a  number  of 
firms  to  that  ell'cct.  IMany  other  firms  with  whom  I 
did  not  make  a  written  contract  verbally  agreed  to  do 
so.  Now,  the  substance  of  my  proposition  is  this — 
your  company  is  to  open  two  l)rancli  offices  in  the  busi- 
ness district,  put  in  the  additional  wii"cs,  and  make 
I  he  other  improvements  that  I  have  indicated.  These 
improvements  will  give  our  city  the  best  service  it  has 
ever  had.  I  will  then  turn  over  the  business  that  I 
control.  Your  receipts  in  that  city  will  be  doubled. 
I  am  to  be  appointed  manager  of  the  branch  offices, 
with  a  commission  on  the  increased  receipts." 

"BiTt  what  assurance  have  I  that  you  can  give  us 
this  business?"  asked  the  general  manager.  "Your 
plan  involves  the  expenditure  of  a  considerable 
sum. ' ' 

"My  salary  depends  upon  the  amount  of  business 
I  give  you.  If  you  are  afraid,  however,  to  make  the 
necessary  outlay,  the  other  company  will  consid " 

"Suppose  I  give  you  a  larger  commission — say 
twice  the  amount  you  proposed— and  do  not  make  the 
improvement.  If  you  control  the  business,  you  can 
give  it  to  us  any  way,  and  both  you  and  our  company 
will  make  more •" 

"That  is  not  to  be  thought  of  for  an  instant.  I 
promised  better  servnce,  and  it  is  on  that  condition 
alone  that  your  company  can  get  the  business." 

"What  is  your  estimate  of  the  cost  of  the  improve- 
ment?" 

"In  round  numbers  $20,000,  but  as  I  propose  to 
increase  your  receipts  $15,000  a  month,  it  makes  a 
good  investment.  You  will  find  the  estimated  cost 
fully  itemized  in  these  papers." 

"Mr.  Davis,"  said  the  general  manager,  rising,  "I 
will  go  over  your  papers  at  once  and  give  your  propo- 
sition very  careful  consideration.  I  will  wire  my 
decision  to  the  superintendent,  who  will  advise  you. 


100  Clever  Business  Sketches 

]\ry  answer  will  be  awaiting  you  when  you  reach  home. 
Good  day,  sir." 

Davis  left  for  home  on  the  first  train.  He  arrived 
on  the  morning  of  the  day  his  resignation  took  effect. 
After  a  l)alh  and  breakfast,  he  hastened  to  the  office — 
until  lliis  day  he  had  always  thought  of  it  as  his  office. 

He  found  a  telegram  from  the  superintendent  of 
the  Commercial  Company  awaiting  him.    It  read: 

"Your  proposition  accepted.  Install  branch  offices 
and  superintend  other  improvements  you  outlined." 

Later  in  the  day  he  turned  the  management  of  the 
office  over  to  Brooks,  his  successor.  While  Davis  well 
knew  that  Brooks  was  in  no  way  responsible  for  his 
discharge,  he  could  not  help  feeling  that  he  was  a 
usurper.  Their  intercourse  was,  therefore,  formal  and 
as  brief  as  consistent  with  the  business  at  hand.  Thus 
ended  his  work  for  the  Union  Telegraph  Company. 

For  the  next  week  he  was  a  busy  man.  He  opened 
two  branch  offices,  directed  the  work  of  four  gangs  of 
linemen  who  were  stringing  wires,  and  made  all  nec- 
essary arrangements  at  the  main  office  for  handling 
the  increased  business. 

In  the  meanwhile  the  superintendent  was  arranging 
direct  wires  to  all  the  principal  cities.  When  every- 
thing was  in  readiness,  Davis,  notified  his  customers, 
and  in  one  day  more  than  half  of  the  business  of  the 
Union  Telegraph  Company  was  transferred  to  the 
Commercial  Company. 

The  Union  Telegraph  Company  endeavored  to  re- 
gain the  business.  Brooks,  the  new  manager,  who 
well  knew  that  the  president,  when  he  learned  of  the 
decreas(!  in  receipts,  would  want  an  explanation,  tele- 
graphed for  Superintendent  Brown  to  come  to  his  as- 
sistance. 

"I  have  reduced  expenses,  Mr.  Brown,  as  you  di- 
rected," said  Brooks,  after  he  had  acquainted  him 
with  the  situation.  "But  since  this  loss  in  receipts 
they  are  larger,  proportionately,  than  they  were.  The 
office  will  make  an  awful  showing  this  month.  We 
will  have  to  fix  up  some  kind  of  an  explanation  for 
the  president." 


The  Netv  President's  Policy  101 

"The  president  wimts  results.  Explanations  won't 
go  with  him.  We  have  got  to  get  this  business  back, 
Brooks,"  replied  Superintendent  Brown. 

Together  they  eaiivassrd  the  eiistomers  who  liad 
turned  their  business  to  Davis  with  the  rival  company. 
Everywhere  they  received  the  same  answer: 

"You  will  have  to  see  Davis.  He  has  charge  of 
our  telegraph  business  now,  you  know.  He  gives  us 
quick  service,  too — the  best  we  ever  had.  Bright 
young  man,  that  fellow  Davis.  IIow  did  he  happen 
to  leave  your  company?" 

A  few  of  the  smaller  customers,  however,  promised 
to  give  them  part  of  their  business.  l'>ut  after  thor- 
oughly canvassing  the  city,  they  regained  only  a  very 
small  part  of  the  lost  trade. 

Superintendent  Brown  returned  to  his  office  and 
thought  over  the  situation.  "I  will  have  to  offer  ex- 
cuses to  the  president  after  all,"  he  thought.  "I 
wonder  if  he  will  tell  me,  as  I  told  Davis,  that  he 
wants  results,  not  excuses.  Anyway,  I  carried  out  his 
policy  in  reducing  expenses.  I  believe  Davis  was 
right,  though,  when  he  maintains  that  reducing  ex- 
penses isn't  always  the  best  policy.  Remarkable  man. 
that  fellow  Davis!  I  wonder  if  I  can  get  him  back. 
I  will  have  to  increase  his  salary,  1  suppose.  Humili- 
ating, too,  but  less  so  than  to  be  obliged  to  explain 
the  situation  to  the  president." 

Then  he  sent  the  following  telegram  to  Davis: 

"Will  you  accept  your  old  position  with  us  at  $600 
increase  and  carry  out  your  own  policy?  Wire  an- 
swer. ' ' 

Two  hours  later  he  received  this  reply: 

"Cannot  accept  your  offer.  I  have  just  been  pro- 
moted to  superintendent  of  this  division  of  the  Com- 
mercial Telegraph  Company. 

John  Davis." 


THE  STRANGE  CASE  OF  CLEMENT  ZENT 

Eow  Forbes  Weston,  Business  Counselor,  Saved  a 
Business,  Evolved  a  Unique  but  Practical 
Selling  Plan  and,  by  Clever  Deduct- 
ive Work,  Unhorsed  a  Rascal. 

BY   GEORGE  ROCKIIILL   CRAW. 

Illuslraliuns  by  Ralph  Shultz. 
CHAPTER  I 

CONCERNING   ATOMS 

Weston  looked  llioiiglitfiilly  over  the  top  of  his 
book.  It  was  Ruskin's  "Ethics  of  the  Dust,"  and  he 
had  just  read  aloud: 

"You  cannot  string  .  .  .  atoms;  but  you  can 
})ut  them  in  a  yo\\\  and  then  they  fasten  themselves 
together,  somehow,  into  a  long  rod  or  needle." 

I  knocked  the  ashes  out  of  my  pipe  and  said  aim- 
lessly, "And  then  what  is  done  with  it?" 

"They  work  with  it,"  he  replied. 

"Who?"  I  asked  still  aimlessly;  and  he,  in  his 
thoughtful  manner,  answered,  "]\Ty  clients." 

"What  do  they  make?"  I  asked,  interested. 

"Money,"  he  replied. 

I  was  just  out  of  college  and,  upon  reaching  Chi- 
cago, had  looked  up  Weston,  bearing  a  letter  of  intro- 
duction from  a  mutual  friend. 

We  were  seated  in  his  private  office  beyond  which 
was  a  reception  room,  the  outer  door  of  which  led  into 
the  corridor  of  the  building.  This  door  bore  the  name 
"Forbes  Weston" — that  was  all. 

Our  friend  had  given  me  no  information  as  to  the 
vocation  of  Weston,  and  the  latter,  so  far  in  our  con- 
versation, had  not  liroached  the  subject. 

I  was  curious  to  know  the  line  of  work  in  which  this 
tall,  well-groomed,  intellectual  and  evidently  success- 
ful man  was  engaged,  but  his  bearing  was  one  which 
coiinnanded  and  gave  a  delicate  courtesy  that  pre- 
eluded  the  asking  of  personal  questions. 

The  short  winter's  day  had  faded  from  a  readable 
twilight  to  a  darkness  that  threw  the  light  from  the 
gas-logs  into  our  faces,  bringing  out  the  profiles 
102 


"1  wept,  ail,  erring  and  an  unstruntj  man' 


104  Clever  Business  Sketches 

sharply.  It  accentuated  the  appearance  of  nervous 
energy  in  Weston's  long,  white  fingers,  holding  the 
"Ethics,"  and  the  sagacity  of  his  high  forehead, 
straight  nose  and  firm  mouth, 

I  was  on  the  point  of  making  a  remark  that  would 
keep  the  conversation  in  the  same  channel,  when  some 
one  entered  the  outer  room.  Weston,  in  his  lithe,  quick 
way,  opened  the  door  between,  and  switched  on  the 
electrics,  which  revealed  a  man  of  the  executive  busi- 
ness type  whom  I  judged  to  be  thirty-five  years  of  age. 

The  pallor  that  is  born  of  worry  and  loss  of  sleep  was 
upon  his  face,  and  his  eyes  seemed  abnormally  alert 
with  a  harrassed  exi)ression,  like  those  of  one  who  Avould 
do  great  deeds  but  is  thwarted  at  all  points  in  an  anxious 
endeavor  to  find  a  logical  avenue  for  feverish  energies. 

"My  name  is  Alexander  Zent,"  he  said  quickly, 
"and  I  take  it  that  you  are  Mr.  Forbes  Weston." 

The  latter  nodded  with  a  kindly  smile  and  motioned 
his  visitor  into  the  room  where  I  was  seated.  He  him- 
self then  entered,  closing  the  door  behind  him. 

Weston  drew  up  another  chair  and  both  sat  down. 
No  introduction  was  made  by  Weston,  and  Zent,  evi- 
dently thinking  me  to  be  a  private  secretary,  made 
no  objection  to  my  presence.  In  fact  he  gave  me  but  one 
searching  glance  and  then,  turning  to  Weston,  said: 
"^Ir.  AVeston,  you  have  saved  many  a  man's  business; 
can  you  save  a  life  and  keep  a  heart  from  breaking  ? ' ' 

"Incidentally?"  asked  Weston,  with  a  little  smile. 

"Yes,  incidentally,  if  you  will  have  it  that  way, 
but,  to  me,  what  incidents !  The  life  is  my  own,  and 
the  heart  is — my  sister's." 

"While  the  business ?" 

"Is  the  Empire  Shear  Company." 

"I  will  try,"  said  Weston  simply. 

Zent  arose,  held  out  his  hand,  which  Weston 
grasped,  looking  keenly  up  into  Zent's  eyes.  The  lat- 
ter did  not  falter.  After  a  few  seconds  he  said,  with- 
drawing his  hand: 

"You  may  not  care  to  shake  my  hand  when  I  have 
told  you  all,  but  you  said  you  would  try  so  sincerely 
that  I  couldn't  help  grasping  yours." 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    105 
CHAPTER    II. 

ALEXANDER    ZENT's    STORY. 

""When  my  father  died  five  years  ago,"  he  con- 
tinued, resimiiug  his  chair,  "he  left  a  fortune  of 
$(iO,00()  in  cash,  a  mortgage  note  which  he  had  held 
for  that  amount  having  been  paid  off  just  before  his 
death. 

"The  estate  was  divided  equally  among  my  sister, 
Laura ;  my  brother,  Clement,  and  myself.  Previous 
to  that  time  I  was  engaged  in  selling  a  patent  shear 
invented  by  myself,  and  manufactured  on  contract 
by  an  eastern  firm.  At  the  time  of  my  father's  death 
my  business  was  growing  rapidly.  Our  legacies  were 
uninvested,  and,  knowing  the  possibilities  of  the  shear 
business,  1  formed  a  corporation,  calling  it  the  Empire 
Shear  Company, 

"My  sister  invested  $15,000  in  the  stock  of  the  new 
company,  my  brother,  $500,  and  I  turned  into  it  the 
old  business  with  its  patents,  good  will,  etc.,  entire, 
and,  besides,  invested  in  it  the  $20,000  that  was  left 
me  by  my  father.  I  thus  have  always  held  a  control- 
ling interest,  and  am  the  president,  treasurer  and  gen- 
eral manager  of  the  concern. 

"My  brother  has  never  been  actively  associated 
Avith  me,  his  business  being  that  of  buying  and  selling 
commercial  paper.  You  probably  know,  Mr.  Weston, 
that  he  is  quite  a  rich  man  today." 

Weston  nodded  as  he  lighted  his  cigar,  which  had 
gone  out. 

"My  brother  is  very  close,  and  why  he  invested  in 
the  new  company  at  all  is  a  mystery  to  me,"  continued 
Zent.  "He  opposed  my  sister's  investment,  saying 
that  the  venture  w^as  a  risky  one  and  that  we  all  would 
most  probably  lose  our  money.  My  brother's  nature 
is  a  very  vindictive  and  cynical  one.  He  knows  but 
one  law,  and  that  is  the  law  of  his  own  judgment. 

"]\ly  plans  for  the  business  included  the  purchase 
of  groimd  and  the  erection  of  a  building,  where  the 
shears  were  to  be  made  complete.  Without  my  sister's 
money  and  my  own,  this  could  not  be  done.    In  fact 


106  Clever  Business  Sketches 

we  thought  out  the  phins  together,  and,  when  the  time 
came,  she  put  in  her  money  against  my  brother's  ad- 
vice and  wishes,  oU'eiiding  him  deeply. 

"He  has  always  called  me  my  own  worst  enemy  be- 
cause of  what  he  terms  my  extravagance.  My  brother 
never  tipped  a  servant  in  his  life,  and  at  the  buffet 
below  his  offices  he  has  an  arrangement  with  the  at- 
tendant whereby  he  buys  regularly  one  drink  in  the 
morning,  paying  fifteen  cents  therefor,  and  another 
at  night  for  which  he  pays  ten  cents,  thus  getting  the 
t\vo-for-a-quartcr  rate.  I  have  no  desire  to  speak  ill  of 
him.  l)ut  tliis  will  show  his  two  strong  characteristics, 
parsimoniousness,  and  a  total  disregard  for  customs, 
and  of  the  ridicule  and  disdain  of  others. 

"He  lives  most  frugally  and  spends  nothing  for 
luxuries  as  we  know  them.  Ilis  luxuries  consist  of 
the  humoring  of  his  splenetic  moods,  and  he  will,  after 
a  quarrel  with  a  neighbor,  spend  many  dollars  for 
spite  fences  and  sarcastic  ne^wspaper  articles,  at  ad- 
vertising rates  in  his  town  weekly  to  satisfy  his 
grudges.  One  of  his  specialties  is  splenetic  quarrels 
with  public  officials  over  an,y  public  improvement  that 
concerns  his  taxes.  These  expenditures  are  his  only 
extravagances.  He  has  no  friend  in  the  world,  and 
lives  alone  within  himself  at  White  Forest,  at  which 
suburb  he  has  a  handsome  home  obtained  by  a  fore- 
closure. 

"The  end  of  the  first  year  after  my  father's  death 
saw  our  new  factory  completed,  and  we  were,  by  that 
time,  running  at  our  full  capacity.  We  have  always 
sold  our  goods  directly  to  the  dealer  through  regular 
salesmen.  During  our  second  year,  a  strong  competi- 
tor put  out  a  shear  much  like  ours  at  what  would  have 
been  to  us  a  ruinous  price.  However,  he  had  at  large 
cost  installed  new  machinery  of  a  labor-saving  nature 
that  enabled  him  to  make  the  shear  at  a  good  profit, 
when  sold  at  the  reduced  price.  Our  orders  fell  off 
at  once,  and  ruin  stared  us  in  the  face. 

"Owing  to  the  new  condition  of  the  market  and  the 
altered  state  of  the  art  of  shear-making,  our  plant, 
in  which  machinery  and  equipment  represented  the 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    107 

larger  investment,  would  not  have,  if  sold,  brought 
thirty-three  and  one-third  cents  on  the  dollar. 

' '  Because  of  our  large  fixed  expenses,  our  assets  de- 
creased rapidly  and  I  was  using  to  the  utmost  the 
credit  extended  by  our  bankers. 

"At  this  time  my  brother  was  sojourning  in  Ari- 
zona, his  health  being  v(>iy  poor.  He  had  n(!ver  taken 
any  interest  in  informing  himself  as  to  the  condition 
of  the  Empire  Shear  Company's  business  affairs,  and 
I  had  never  acquainted  him  with  the  vicissitudes  of 
the  company.  In  fact  I  dreaded  the  biting  and  malev- 
olent sarcasm  with  which  he  would  receive  au  account 
of  my  struggles  and  imminent  failure. 

"I  must  not  fail.  IMy  sister's  fortune  was  at  stake. 
For  my  own  losses  I  cared  nothing  compared  to  hers, 
and  to  the  sinister  satisfaction  that  I  knew  my  brother 
would  take  in  our  undoing.  1  knew  that  the  vindi- 
cation of  his  judgment  by  our  failure  and  our  hiunili- 
ation  would  be  to  him  the  sweetest  thing  in  life.  I 
must  not  fail.  As  a  brother  I  revolted  at  the  thought 
of  furnishing  him  such  au  unholy  and  unnatural 
revel. 

"Night  and  day  two  faces  were  continually  before 
me,  alternating  through  my  conscious  and  subconscious 
self — the  sweet  face  of  my  sister  with  her  soft,  brown 
hair  and  dark  eyes,  troubling  because  of  my  trouble, 
and  grieved  by  thoughts  of  Clement's  life  and  his  atti- 
tude toward  her  and  me  with  never  a  thought  of  her 
own  material  loss  and  what  it  would  mean  to  her ;  the 
other  face — Heaven  forbid  that  I,  his  brother,  should 
describe  before  men  the  vision  that  came  to  me  in 
those  dark  hours. 

"I  resolved  that  these  pictures  must  never  be 
painted.  I  determined  to  save  my  brother  from  him- 
self, through  himself.  In  doing  so  I  would  save  my 
sister  the  heartache  that  impended  and  the  loss  that 
threatened. 

"I  determined  to  rebuild  our  machinery  along  the 
new  labor-saving  lines  and  to  purchase  additional  ma- 
chines where  needed.  The  expense  would  be  great.  1 
had  no  available  resources  to  meet  it." 


108  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Zent  stopped  speaking  for  a  moment,  and  looked 
with  tired  and  uncertain  eyes  at  Weston,  who  silent 
and  impassive,  sat  settled  back  in  his  chair,  seemingly- 
absorbed  in  thought. 

"I  issued,"  he  continued,  flushing  painfully,  "a 
false  and  most  favorable  statement  of  the  conditions 
of  the  business  of  the  Empire  Shear  Company  and 
borrowed  upon  this  without  security,  at  my  brother's 
oflfices,  the  money  that  1  needed  to  complete  my  plans. 
You  would  not  care  to  shake  my  hand  now,  Mr.  Wes- 
ton?" he  asked  slowly,  looking  up. 

Weston  frowned  impatiently  and  waved  the  remark 
aside,  with  a  quick  movement.  "Go  ahead!"  he  said 
sharply. 

CHAPTER    III. 

LAURA  ZENT  INTERVENES. 

"In  my  brother's  absence,"  resumed  Zent,  "his 
manager  was  required  to  refer  to  him  by  mail  for  his 
approval  all  new  applications  for  loans;  but,  because 
of  my  relationship  and  my  representations  as  to  the 
urgent  need  of  the  business,  he  made  the  loan  without 
referring  it  to  my  brother.  Because  of  this,  upon  my 
brother's  return  from  Arizona,  the  manager  was 
promptly  discharged,  and  this  without  my  brother's 
knowing  that  the  statement  was  a  false  one."  A 
shadow  of  remorse  and  mortification  crossed  Zent's 
wan  face.    lie  continued: 

"Six  months  after  the  negotiations  of  our  paper 
with  my  brother's  manager  witnessed  the  rehabilita- 
tion of  our  manufacturing  processes,  and  nine  months 
afterward  found  us  without  sufficient  working  capital 
to  carry  the  thousands  of  dealers  to  whom  we  began 
selling  the  new  output  at  the  new  prices,  the  working 
capital  shortage  occurring  because  of  the  lon^  time 
taken  by  most  retail  dealers  in  paying  their  bills. 

"The  first  note  given  my  brother  matured  at  the  end 
of  a  year.  Things  had  not  worked  out  as  quickly  as  I 
had  anticipated;  there  were  leaks,  perhaps,  in  our 
factory  management;  our  accounting  system  was, 
perhaps,  at  fault ;  besides,  our  old  competitor  had  be- 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    109 

^n  a  national  campaign  of  advertising  in  the  maga- 
zines, and  again  our  sales  began  to  fall  off. 

"The  goods  we  had  already  put  upon  the  shelves 
of  the  dealers  of  the  country  did  not  move  rapidly, 
and  we  received  few  duplicate  orders.  These  condi- 
tions still  maintained  when  my  brother's  first  note 
fell  due.     It  was  drawn  for  $5,000. 

"The  second  note  would  be  due  at  the  end  of  the 
following  year.  I  could  not  pay  the  first,  and  w^as 
then  not  concerned  about  the  second. 

"Again  I  was  face  to  face  with  the  certainty  of  my 
brother's  knowing  all.  I  would  not  allow  myself  to 
think  of  using  the  money  remaining  to  my  sister  from 
her  legacy.  The  risk  was  now  far  too  great.  I  could 
only  throw  myself  upon  my  brother's  mercy,  ask  an 
extension  of  time  and  try  to  work  out. 

"In  the  little  library  of  my  sister's  home  and  mine, 
on  the  night  that  1  had  resolved  to  tell  him  all,  I 
opened  a  letter  sent  me  by  messenger  from  the  presi- 
dent of  the  bank  with  whom  we  dealt.  It  was  a  final 
refusal  to  extend  our  credit  to  the  amount  of  $5,000 
additional.  The  last  sentence  read :  *  As  you  say  you 
must  positively  have  this  money  tomorrow,  and  desire 
that  my  final  answer  be  given  you  today,  I  am  sending 
this  to  your  home  by  special  messenger.' 

"My  appeal  to  my  banker  was  at  best  a  forlorn 
hope,  and  I  let  the  letter  fall  idly  to  the  floor.  I  sank 
into  a  large  leather  chair  where  I  slept  fitfully.  When 
I  awoke  Laura  was  beside  me,  stroking  my  hair  back 
from  my  forehead.  'You  are  ill,  Aleck,'  she  said  ten- 
derly, and  her  little  hand  seemed  wonderfully  cool 
upon  my  brow.  *I  am  afraid  you  worry  far  too  much. 
Please  don't  sleep  here  any  more  tonight;  you'll  take 
cold.  Good  night,  you  old  dear !  She  kissed  me  and 
left  the  room !  while  I  buried  my  face  in  my  hands 
and  wept,  an  erring  and  unstrung  man. 

"The  next  morning  I  entered  my  brother's  office. 
He  looked  up  with  a  cynical  smile  from  the  financial 
reports  upon  his  desk. 

"  'Wliy  is  it?'  he  said,  still  smiling  cynically,  'that 
people  will  call  upon  a  man  when  they  know  he  is  apt 
to  be  most  busy?' 


110  Clever  Business  SketcJies 


-n 


"I  stood  over  him  willi  inj  jit^t  duicucd" 

"  'I  haven't  the  k>ast  idea,'  I  replied  wearily.  'I 
came  to  tell  you  that  I  cannot  pay  your  note  today.' 

"  'I  shall  see  that  it  is  paid  then,'  he  replied  with 
icy  quickness. 

**  'You  will  bring  suit?'  I  asked. 

"  'I  shall  attach  your  l)ank  balance,'  he  said. 

"  'There  is  not  enough,'  I  rei)lied. 

"A  cold,  suspicious  look  came  into  my  brother's 
eyes.  'There  is  not  enough,  and  you  have  known  for 
a  year  that  you  have  this  note  to  meet?  Have  you  lost 
or  gained  during  the  i)ast  year?' 

"  'Neither,'  I  replied;  'we  have  just  held  our 
ground. ' 

"In  his  deliberate  way  my  brother  went  to  another 
room  and  after  a  few  minutes  returned.    He  brought 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zcnt     m 

with  liiin  the  (iii.iiic.ial  statement  that  I  had  made  to 
his  former  iiKuiafJCcr.  He  resumed  his  seat,  studying 
the  paper  ciireJ'ully.  After  a  few  iiionients  he  said: 
'This  statement  shows  an  abundance  of  reasonably 
quick  assets.  If  you  have  held  your  ground,  and  have 
made  any  effort  at  all  to  provide  for  the  payment  of 
my  note,  you  must  have  the  money  on  liand. ' 

"  'The  money  is  not  on  hand,'  1  replied. 

"  'Is  it  not  consistent  with  your  ideas  of  business 
conduct  to  prepare  for  the  meeting  of  your  paper?' 
he  asked,  with  a  superior,  sardonic  smile. 

"I  ignored  his  sarcasm,  and  answered  slowly,  I 
tried  to  meet  it.' 

"  'Then  your  statement  is ' 

"  'False,'  I  replied  in  a  strained  voice — but  my 
brother  showed  no  emotion.  He  sat  there  quietly 
fixing  my  eyes  with  his  cold,  steady  gaze  and  contin- 
ued unchanged  his  sneering  smile  that  was  made  of 
closed,  thin  lips,  a  deepening  of  the  cynical  lines 
about  the  eyes  and  a  drawing  back  of  that  deep  Vol- 
tairian one  which  runs  from  the  nose  to  bej^nd  the 
corner  of  the  mouth ;  there  seemed,  too,  to  be  a  trace 
of  enjoyment — No,  No !  the  thought  is  fiendish ;  but, 
Weston,  before  heaven,  it  Avas  there. 

"  'I  suppose  you  know  where  you  belong?'  he  asked 
incisivel}'-.  I  did  not  answer,  but  stared  at  him  ap- 
palled. 

"  'You  shall  not  bo  free  to  obtain  money  under  false 
pretenses  long.  Perjury  does  not  run  in  our  family, 
and  evil  weeds  are  best  plucked  at  the  sprouting.' 

"I  cringed  beneath  his  biting,  accusing  sarcasm. 
Then,  torn  to  the  quick,  I  jumped  up  and  stood  over 
him  with  clenched  fists. 

"  'By ,'  I  said,  'beyond  the  law,  I  am  a  better 

man  than  you  within  it.  If  1  perjured  myself,  it  was 
because  my  heart  was  warm — because  I  loved  and 
sought  to  prevent  harm  to  others,  not  to  cause  it ;  not 
because  my  motives  were  base  am  I  beyond  the  law. ' 

"My  brother  made  a  gesture  of  impatience.  'Will 
you  kindly  cut  that  out,'  he  said  impudently. 

"  'When  I  am  through  with  you,'  I  retorted,  threat- 


112  Clever  Business  Sketches 

ening  him.  'You  have  always  been  within  the  law. 
You  were  within  it  when  upon  a  trivial  grievance  you 
erected  on  your  own  i)roperty  that  high  fence  which 
sliuts  tlic  li^ht  of  day  from  the  home  of  the  crip- 
pled little  lady  that  lives  next  to  you.  Your  grounds 
are  beautiful,  but  she  never  sees  them.  You  have 
spoiled  her  view,  depreciated  her  property,  and  taken 
away  from  her  life  one  of  the  few  joys  her  vision  is 
allowed,  putting  into  its  place  a  monument  to  the  lit- 
tleness of  a  human  soul. 

"  'You  have  done  all  this  legally — you  are  within 
the  law.  And  now  that  you  have  a  legal  right  you  will 
try  to  shut  the  light  of  the  free  day  from  your  own 
brother,  your  mother's  and  your  father's  son — and 
you  will  exult  in  breaking  our  sister's  heart,  for  the 
day  that  you  seek  to  degrade  me  I  shall  take  my  life.' 

"  'You  may  as  well  begin  now,'  he  said  acidly,  'be- 
cause the  first  thing  I  shall  do  will  be  in  the  interest 
of  justice.  I  think  you  know  that  I  am  not  a  weak 
man.  The  honor  of  our  family  shall  not  lie  in  shut- 
ting in  our  skeletons,  but  in  exposing  them.  How- 
ever, I  have  an  aversion  to  a  Zent  wearing  stripes.' 

"1  was  overpowered  by  his  infernal  egotism  and  ma- 
lignity. Then  my  spirit  rebelled  and  I  rose  again, 
lowering  over  him.  I  had  no  thought  to  plead  with 
him.  Too  long  had  I  known  his  iron  will  and  obdurate 
heart.     It  would  have  done  no  good. 

"  'Sit  down.     Sit  do\Mi!'  he  said  impatiently. 

"  'Why?'  I  asked. 

"  'Because  I  wish  you  to  tell  mo  calmly  how  soon 
you  will  be  ready  for  this  journey  that  you  have  pro- 
posed taking,  and  which  I  think  will  be  the  better 
way. ' 

"  'I  am  ready  now,'  I  said,  looking  out  over  the 
roofs  of  high  buildings  to  where  Lake  Michigan  glis- 
tened in  the  morning  sun. 

"Without  a  word  my  brother  pulled  open  a  drawer 
of  his  desk,  which  was  within  my  reach,  and  left  the 
room.     It  contained  a  loaded  revolver. 

' '  I  reached  for  a  sheet  of  paper  and  penned  a  little 
farewell  letter  to  my  sister.    For  four  years  I  had  car- 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent     113 

ried  a  very  large  life  iusurance  of  wliieh  she  was  the 
beneficiary.  I  gave  her  instructions  in  regard  to  this ; 
then  I  grasped  the  revolver  firmly  and  raised  it  to  my 
temple. 

"A  sound  of  rustling  paper  under  the  door  arrested 
my  finger,  and  I  heard  Laura's  voice  calling  my  name. 
Something  seemed  to  snap  within  me,  and  I  rushed 
to  the  door  to  strain  her  to  my  heart. 

"When  I  opened  it  she  was  gone.  'Laura,'  I  called, 
but  only  the  threadbare  clerks  at  their  desks  heard  me. 

"I  picked  up  the  envelope  that  she  had  thrust  be- 
neath the  door.  It  bore  my  name.  Tearing  it  open 
I  found  the  letter  of  the  bank  president,  which  I  had 
received  the  night  before,  and  upon  it  was  written  in 
Laura's  hand:  'Why  didn't  you  come  to  me,  Aleck? 
Bankers  are  so  cold.'  With  the  letter  was  a  cashier's 
check  for  $5,000. 

"With  the  check  came  reason.  It  would  pay  the 
note,  and  my  brother  would  be  forestalled  in  his  prose- 
cution for  another  year.  If  things  went  against  me 
during  that  time  and  I  was  unable  to  pay  the  second 
note,  matters  between  my  brother  and  myself  would 
be  in  the  same  condition  as  today,  before  the  coming 
of  Laura's  check.  While  the  $5,000  that  I  held  in  my 
hand  might  become  lost  to  her,  still,  if  I  died  a  year 
from  today,  she  would  have  the  ample  insurance  funds 
that  I  had  provided  for  her. 

' '  '  Ha !  As  I  expected ;  yellow  to  the  core. '  It  was 
my  brother's  voice;  he  had  re-entered  the  room.  'I 
thought  you  were  ready  for  your  journey?' 

"  'I  was,'  1  replied  coldly,  laying  Laura's  check 
upon  his  desk,  'but  it  has  been  postponed  for  a  year.' 

"His  face  showed  no  chagrin  nor  surprise  as  he 
touched  a  bell  and  mechanically  told  a  clerk  to  bring 
him  my  first  note,  marked  canceled,  and  which  he 
handed  to  me  in  a  businesslike  way. 

"  'You  have  made  difficult  the  proving  of  perjury 
for  the  present, '  he  said.  '  See  to  it  that  your  are  as 
lucky  next  year.  You  will  find  me  within  the  law  then, 
as  now,  and  remember,  I  have  my  own  ideas  about 
skeletons. ' 


114  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"He  turned  to  his  papers  and  I  left  him  without 
a  word." 

Zent  paused  and  looked  at  his  watch.  ' '  I  liave  told 
you  most  of  my  story,  and  must  hurry  home, ' '  he  said. 

"I  take  it  that  your  interview  with  your  brother 
took  place  this  morning,"  observed  Weston. 

"It  did,"  replied  Zent,  "and  I  have  spent  the  suc- 
ceeding hours  racking  my  brain  for  plans  that  v/ill  at 
once  put  my  business  upon  a  paying  basis.  Nothing 
new  that  is  plausible  comes  to  me.  I  am  in  a  rut,  and 
the  minutes  are  ticking  against  me  with  deathlike 
certainty.  At  times  today,  I  have  thought  1  must  go 
mad ;  my  brain  and  body  crave  action,  but  it  must 
be  in  the  right  direction.  I  must  follow  plans  that 
will  force  results — that  are  logical  to  me." 

"Go  home,"  said  Weston,  rising,  and  holding  out 
his  hand.  "Tomorrow,  at  ten  o'clock  I  will  meet  you 
at  your  factory.  There  I  shall  want  you  to  give  me 
everything  in  detailed  information  about  the  business 
that  you  can.  I  shall  then  work  out  a  plan  that  will 
meet  with  your  approval.  There  is  undoubtedly  a 
sure  way  out.  Your  mind  needs  a  rest.  Stop  thinking 
of  business  for  a  day  or  two  and  you  will  stop  worry- 
ing. If  your  subconsciousness  refuses  to  part  with 
your  troubles,  play  bridge,  read  Bernard  Shaw's  plays, 
mix  up  nocturnally  at  your  club  if  you  can't  sleep, 
but  do  not  lie  in  bed  awake.  That  has  meant  insanity 
for  some  men  in  your  position.  But  take  my  word 
for  it,  your  problem  will  not  be  as  difficult  to  solve  as 
you  now  think.    You  are  in  a  rut,  as  you  say." 

Weston  settled  back  in  his  chair  when  Zent  had 
gone,  and  I  drew  up  to  the  fire. 

"Our  friend's  business  atoms,"  he  observed,  are 
widely  scattered.  They  must  be  put  in  a  row,  so  that 
they  can  fasten  themselves  into  a  rod  that  can  be 
worked  with." 

"Otherwise,  the  atoms  of  his  own  cosmos  are  apt  to 
be  disintegrated,"  I  suggested  gravely. 

Weston  smiled.  "It  is  an  unusual  case,"  he  said, 
"and  Clement  Zent  is  an  unusual  element." 

"A  misanthrope?"  I  ventured. 


Tlie  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent     H^ 

"An  egrojjioiisly  egotistic  and  fanatical  one,  1  would 
say,"  said  Weston. 

"But  do  you  not  think  him  a  most  unnatural 
brother?"  I  asked. 

"I  believe  he  is  a  fanatic,"  replied  Weston,  but  his 
pnnderinp:  look  told  me  that  he  was  not  satisfied  with 
that  conclusion.  "Are  you  interested  in  the  case?"  he 
asked. 

"Intensely,"  I  replied. 

"Then  meet  me  here  at  nine  thirty  tomorrow  morn- 
ing," he  said. 

CHAPTER    IV. 

WESTON   VISITS    THE    PLANT. 

The  Empire  Shear  Company's  plant  was  located 
in  the  midst  of  one  of  those  manufacturing  colonies 
that  spring  up  on  the  outskirts  of  large  cities  where 
land  is  inexpensive,  within  easy  reach  of  the  poorer 
classes  who  are  employed  in  factories,  and  where  rail- 
roads afford  shipping  facilities. 

As  Weston's  big  automobile  swimg  us  into  a  narrow 
street,  leading  to  our  destination,  the  air  above  our 
heads  was  thick  with  smoke,  pierced  by  the  white  and 
ultimately  voluminous  vapors  of  innumerable  ex- 
hausts, which,  loading  the  smoke  particles  with  moist- 
ure, created  a  heavy  atmosphere. 

Great  trucks  clattered  over  the  brick  pavement  and 
switch-engines  moved  here  and  there  in  the  neighbor- 
ing yards,  while  the  sonant  hum  of  industry  from  the 
factory  buildings  formed  the  chords  in  a  noisy  sym- 
phony of  creative  effort. 

The  contrast  between  this  and  the  quiet  community 
life  of  Princeton  inspired  me.  I  longed  to  take  my 
place  in  this  great  system  of  energy.  The  avenues 
were  not  easy  ones,  but  set  with  problems  and  per- 
plexities involving  even  the  continuance  of  human 
life  itself,  for  I  was  still  thinking  of  Zent's  story  and 
the  place  he  at  present  held  in  the  busy  scenes  that 
glided  past  our  car. 

"The  Empire  Shear  Company"  appeared  for  a  mo- 


116  Clever  Business  Sketches 

ment  in  the  shape  of  a  large  sign  on  a  conventional 
brick  factory  building,  and  the  next  we  were  ascend- 
ing the  steps  to  the  office. 

Weston  handed  his  card  to  a  boy  at  a  telephone 
switch-board,  who  pointed  the  way  to  Alexander  Zent's 
private  office. 

Order  and  system  seemed  to  prevail  everywhere,  so 
far  as  equipment  and  the  manners  and  appearance  of 
the  neatly-dressed  stenographers  and  evidently  intel- 
ligent bookkeepers  and  clerks  Avere  concerned. 

Weston  surveyed  all  with  his  quick  eye  and  gave 
Zent  a  most  cordial  greeting  as  we  passed  into  the 
latter 's  room,  which  testified  to  the  fact  that  the  occu- 
pant had  not  allowed  the  implements  of  business  to 
crowd  out  the  evidences  of  culture.  It  was  also  evi- 
dent upon  what  Clement  Zent  had  based  his  charges 
of  extravagance  in  Alexander.  It  was  clear  to  me 
that  the  latter  had  an  element  of  romance  in  his  tem- 
perament, perhaps  too  much  for  his  own  good.  I  had 
already  grown  to  like  him. 

There  was  a  rich  carpet  on  the  floor ;  a  library  table 
of  mahogany  bore  a  bronze  book  rack  of  massive  and 
unique  design  containing  a  number  of  miscellaneous 
classical  works;  a  bust  of  Shakespeare  was  on  a 
bracket  over  Zent's  desk;  a  fine  bronze  statuette  of 
an  artisan  at  work  rested  upon  a  black  onyx  base  in 
a  corner;  some  growing  flowers  were  in  a  hanging 
basket  of  grotesque  shape  suspended  near  a  window, 
and  there  were  other  articles  of  furniture  unusual  in 
the  office  of  a  manufacturer. 

"I  would  prefer  to  take  seats  at  the  table,"  said 
Weston  quickly.  "Will  you  provide  me  with  some 
blank  sheets  of  paper?"  He  drew  a  fountain  pen 
from  his  pocket,  and  adjusted  the  cap  while  Zent 
"buzzed"  for  writing  material.    We  were  then  seated. 

"W^hat  are  your  accounts  receivable  today?"  Wes- 
ton asked  Zent. 

"I  will  have  them  extended  and  footed  up  from  the 
customers'  ledger,"  replied  the  latter. 

"Do  you  not  have  a  record  of  them  from  day  to 
day?"  asked  Weston, 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent     117 

"A  record  is  made  only  once  a  month,  or  whenever 
an  emergency  demands,  as,  for  instan<;e,  today,"  said 
Zent.  Weston  made  a  note  of  the  reply.  "I  will  put' 
the  whole  force  on  the  matter  at  once,"  continued 
Zent.  "They  are  engag(!d  upon  imi)ortant  routine 
work,  but  it  will  have  to  wait." 

Weston  repressed  a  smile.  "Instant  information 
should  always  be  obtainable  through  daily  records  in 
your  bookkeeping  department,  IMr.  Zent,  and  the  re- 
cording of  this  information  should  be  routine  work. 
What  are  your  accounts  payable?" 

"That  will  have  to  be  drawn  off  especially,  also," 
replied  Zent,  sending  an  order  to  the  bookkeeping  de- 
partment. 

"And  your  bills  payable  and  receivable?" 

"Can  be  arrived  at  more  quickly  than  the  others." 

"Is  your  record  of  assets,  such  as  tools,  machinery, 
office  equipment,  etc.,  up  to  date,  or  does  it  apply  only 
to  the  condition  of  business  at  the  first  of  the  mouth?" 

"Only  to  the  first." 

"Mr.  Zent,  you  should  install  at  once  a  combination 
cash  book  and  journal  that  will  give  you  a  daily  finan- 
cial statement  with  complete  information  on  all  ac- 
counts in  connection  with  a  perpetual  inventory  of 
your  raw  and  finished  material.  Are  you  using  a 
check  register  in  connection  with  your  cashbook  at 
the  present  time?" 

"Yes,  a  most  up-to-date  one." 

"You  may  discard  it  when  you  put  in  the  new  sys- 
tem. It  will  then  be  superfluous,  as  your  checks  will 
be  entered  daily  in  the  new  combination  cash  book  and 
journal,  thus  forming  a  check  register  as  well  as  a 
cash  book  entry.  This  applies  ecpially  to  deposits. 
You  will  find  that  the  new  system  will  reduce  the 
work  of  your  office  force.  Now,  in  j^our  order  system, 
do  .you  post  your  customers'  ledger  charges  from  your 
salesbook  ? ' ' 

"Yes." 

"Do  you  make  out  your  invoice,  factory  order,  and 
salesbook  entry  all  at  the  same  time?" 

"Yes,  by  means  of  carbon  paper." 


118  Clever  Business  Sketches 

' '  Posting  and  a  salesbook  are  unnecessary.  We  will 
put  in  a  system  consisting  of  three  simultaneous 
copies,  comprising  an  invoice,  factory  order  and  ledger 
sheet,  the  latter  being  filed  as  a  customers'  account  in 
a  loose-leaf  binder.  I  have  installed  like  systems  else- 
where, and  they  are  all  satisfactory.  We  must  cut 
down  work  and  incidentally  the  salary  account  in 
your  office." 

At  this  point  Jenkins,  the  head  bookkeeper,  en- 
tered with  the  accounts  receivable  record  to  date.  ' '  In 
taking  off  this  record,  j\Ir.  Zent,"  he  said,  "I  noticed 
that  the  order  of  the  Associated  Eastern  Dealers  has 
not  been  shipped  as  yet." 

"Tell  Benson  I  want  to  see  him  at  once,"  returned 
Zent  with  some  annoyance. 

"Benson,"  said  Zent,  as  the  shipping  clerk  entered, 
"why  has  that  order  of  the  Associated  Eastern  Deal- 
ers not  gone  forward?" 

"It's  not  ready  yet,"  the  latter  replied. 

Zent  dismissed  Benson  and  picked  up  a  speaking 
tube.  "Tell  Kendall  I  want  to  see  him,"  he  said 
sharply,  letting  the  "whistle"  snap  back  with  a  click. 

Kendall,  a  shrewd,  energetic  man  of  about  forty, 
whom  I  correctly  took  for  the  factorj'  superintendent, 
entered  the  room  familiarly. 

"Why  are  not  those  goods  for  the  Associated  East- 
ern Dealers  ready  for  shipment?  You  told  me  two 
daj's  ago  that  they  were  then  ready.  AVhat  has  de- 
layed them  ? ' '  asked  Zent. 

"They  are  ready  now,"  said  Kendall.  I  noticed 
that  Weston  watched  the  man  narrowly.  Then  before 
Zent  could  querj'  further  as  to  the  delay,  Kendall  said 
urgently: 

"Mr.  Zent,  I  was  just  coming  in  to  ask  you  to  step 
out'to  the  forge  room  with  me.  I  want  you  to  see  one 
of  the  automatic  hammers  at  once.  I  don't  like  the 
way  it  wears  at  one  of  the  bearings,  and  the  guarantee 
time  will  be  up  tomorrow.  I  just  happened  to  notice 
the  expiration  date  in  the  contract." 

Zent  became  immediately  interested  and  hurried  to 
the  forge  room.     He  returned  shortly  without  Ken- 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    !!■> 

dall  and  laughinf^'ly  said  thai  everything  was  all  right 
with  the  hammer,  that  Kendall  was  over-eautious  and 
conscientious  in-  watching  the  firm's  interests,  but  that 
he  knew  his  business  perfectly. 

"But  you  didn't  find  out  why  the  goods  for  the 
Associated  Eastern  Dealers  have  been  delayed,  did 
you?"  asked  Weston. 

"No!  By  George!"  Zent  replied,  reaching  for  the 
speaking  tube  hastily  again  to  summon  Kendall. 

"Wait  a  numieiit,  Mr.  Zent,"  said  Weston.  "Would 
you  mind  showing  me  the  expiration  date  in  the  guar- 
antee clause  of  that  contract?" 

Zent  obtained  the  contract.  "Why,"  he  said,  as- 
tonished, "the  guarantee  on  that  machine  expired  six 
months  ago." 

"I  expected  as  much,"  said  Weston.  "Mr,  Zent, 
I  am  afraid  a  cunning  man  has  passed  himself  off  as  a 
conscientious  one.  The  machine  bearing  was  merely 
a  ruse  to  throw  you  off  the  scent  of  the  delayed  order." 

' '  I  wonder  if  Kendall  needs  Avatching  ? ' '  asked  Zent 
absently. 

"Most  likely  he  needs  firing,"  said  Weston  grimly. 
He  reached  over  and  took  a  book  from  the  bronze  rack 
on  the  table,  turning  the  pages  rapidly,  while  Zent 
Avatched  him.  Weston  looked  at  Zent,  and  then  read 
aloud : 

"  .  .  .  these  small  wares  and  petty  points  of 
cunning  are  infinite,  and  it  were  a  good  deed  to  make 
a  list  of  them ;  for  that  nothing  doth  more  hurt  in  a 
state  than  that  cunning  men  pass  for  wise." 

"Substitute  the  word  'business'  for  the  word  'state' 
and  you  have  a  direct  application  of  Bacon  to  your 
man  Kendall.  From  my  knowledge  of  types,  I  dare 
say  that  petty  points  of  cunning  are  infinite  with  Ken- 
dall, only  you  have  been  too  much  engrossed  in  other 
matters  to  take  note  of  them." 


120  Clever  Business  Sketches 

CHAPTER  V. 

WESTON  UNFOI>ns  IIIS  PLANS. 

At  this  point  Zent  was  called  into  the  outer  office. 
Kendall  came  in  and  laid  upon  the  table  a  small  hand 
machine. 

"How's  this  for  a  scissors  grinder?"  he  said,  taking 
a  pair  of  dull  shears  from  his  pocket  and  adjusting 
them  instantly  in  the  machine.  He  then  turned  a 
small  crank  at  the  side.  There  was  a  grinding  sound, 
and  the  scissors  were  handed  to  us  perfectly  sharp  for 
our  inspection. 

"Weston  examined  the  machine  carefully,  Kendall 
explaining  its  workings  the  while.  Zent  re-entered  the 
room,  and  Kendall  said:  "I  have  made  the  new  ad- 
justment and  it  works  perfectly.  I  will  leave  the  ma- 
chine here  on  the  table  for  you  to  try  when  you  get 
around  to  it." 

Zent  now  placed  before  Weston  the  figures  concern- 
ing the  state  of  the  business,  which  the  latter  had  re- 
quested, including  an  approximate  inventory  of  the 
stock  on  hand  in  raw  and  finished  material.  Weston 
became  deeply  absorbed  in  them. 

Finally  he  said:  "Mr.  Zent,  you  have  not  sufficient 
resources  to  carry  on  your  business  with  retail  deal- 
ers. If  they  would  discount  their  bills  in  ten  days  you 
might  do  business  with  them,  but  they  take  from  thirty 
to  one  hundred  and  twenty  days,  as  you  know  to  your 
sorrow.  You  have  considerable  money  tied  up  in  this 
way  now,  and  this  we  must  endeavor  to  got  in  at  once. 
Please  instruct  the  proper  employe  to  offer  a  discount 
of  ten  per  cent  for  immediate  payment  on  all  slow  ac- 
counts." 

"But  I  cannot  afford  that,"  protested  Zent. 

"You  can  afford  twenty-five  per  cent,  Mr.  Zent,  if 
it  will  assist  you  in  getting  your  business  on  a  paying, 
sound  and  healthy  basis.  You  may  have  to  offer  even 
that  to  some  of  them  if  you  adopt  my  plans." 

"But  before  I  can  give  an  order  of  the  kind  you  sug- 
gest I  must  first  approve  your  plans.  If  we  are  not 
to  market  through  the  dealer  where  will  we  get  our 
orders?" 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    121 

"Through  the  jobber,"  replied  Weston. 

Zent  held  up  both  hands  in  holy  horror.  "Not  for 
mine,"  he  said  vehemently.  "I've  been  through  the 
mill.  Go  to  the  jobber  for  an  order  and  ho  will  say: 
'First  create  a  demand,  and  wc  will  stock  your  goods.* 
When  the  demand  is  created,  he  bftys  fearfully,  only 
as  stock  is  needed,  and  nine  times  out  of  ten  he  will 
try  to  sell  the  dealer  some  other  brand  on  which  he 
(the  jobber)  makes  more  money ;  he  docs  not,  as  a 
rule,  effect  a  single  sale  for  you  through  his  own  ef- 
fort, and  is  only  a  clearing  house  to  which  you  have 
the  privilege  of  paying  ten,  twenty,  or  thirty  per  cent, 
with  the  only  advantage  of  getting  your  money  in  ten 
days.  We  have  no  resources  to  create  a  demand 
among  dealers,  which  can  only  be  done  by  advertising 
direct  to  the  consumer,  and  cleverly  handling  the  lat- 
ter's  inquiries  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  them  bring 
orders  from  the  dealer.  That  is  what  our  competitor 
is  doing  and  he  has  several  hundred  thousand  dollars 
for  the  purpose.  Of  course,  through  the  demand  cre- 
ated by  the  advertising,  he  is  enabled  to  cut  the  job- 
ber's profit  to  ten  per  cent,  and  the  dealer's  to  twenty- 
five." 

"All  of  which,"  said  Weston  quietly,  "is  in  favor 
of  my  plan  of  selling  to  the  jobber  only." 

"But  who  will  create  the  demand?"  asked  Zent. 

"The  jobber  himself,"  replied  Weston. 

Zent  looked  at  Weston  with  great  surprise  on  his 
features  as  if  the  suggestion  was  out  of  the  question, 
and  unworthy  of  a  man  of  Weston's  reputation. 

"It  won't  do,"  he  said  with  dull  hopelessness,  as  if 
the  last  straw  had  floated  beyond  his  reach.  "What 
possible  incentive  is  there  for  the  jobber  to  handle 
our  goods'?" 

"This,"  said  Weston,  picking  up  the  little  machine 
that  Kendall  had  left  on  the  table,  "and  I  propose 
giving  one  of  these  absolutely  gratis  to  every  hard- 
ware, drug,  dry  goods,  notion,  and  general  dealer  that 
buys  your  goods  of  the  jobber.  These  machines,  with 
accompanying  colored  poster  cut-outs  for  the  dealers' 


122  Clever  Business  Sketches 

show  windows  will  constitute  your  national  advertis- 
ing campaign." 

"But  1  tell  you,"  said  Zent  impatiently,  "that  we 
have  no  money  with  which  to  make  such  a  tremendous 
appropriation ;  to  do  what  you  propose  will  cost  a 
fortune. ' ' 

"Ah,"  replied  Weston,  "but  for  every  machine  that 
is  given  to  a  dealer,  you  will  receive  an  order  for 
shears,  upon  which  you  will  make  your  regular  margin 
of  profit,  and  of  which  the  cost  of  this  machine  and  the 
advertising  Avindow  cut-out  will  be  but  a  small  per- 
centage. I  take  it  that  the  machines  can  be  manufac- 
tured in  large  quantities  for  about  two  dollars  each." 

"About  that,"  confirmed  Zent. 

"And  furthermore,"  continued  Weston,  "on  all 
these  orders  you  will  receive  payment  within  ten  days. 
The  bills  will  be  discounted  because  all  orders  will 
come  through  the  jobber." 

Zent  was  now  thoroughly  interested.  Weston  was 
evidently  opening  up  a  new  point  of  view,  in  which 
there  might  be  possibilities.  The  straw  had  eddied 
back  to  the  drowning  man. 

"The  value  of  the  advertising  plan  that  I  have  sug- 
gested," pursued  Weston,  "lies  in  the  fact  that  not  a 
dollar  will  be  spent  in  gambling  for  orders,  as  is  done 
in  a  general  publicity  campaign,  with  such  media  as 
bill  boards,  street  cars,  newspapers  and  magazines. 
Your  advertising,  which  will  consist  of  these  little 
grinding  machines,  and  the  cut-outs,  will  be  done  only 
after  the  order  is  received.  It  will  be  for  you  a  sure- 
thing  game.  i\Ir.  Zent,  in  selling  through  the  jobber 
you  can  allow  him  a  twenty  per  cent  margin,  can  you 
not?" 

"Yes,"  replied  Zent,  "provided  I  have  no  large 
advertising  appropriation  to  take  care  of.  Twenty 
per  cent  is  double  the  margin  allowed  the  jobber  by 
our  large  advertising  competitor." 

"And  at  present,"  a.sked  Weston,  "you  are  allow- 
ing your  dealers  to  make  a  margin  of  fifty  per  cent, 
whereas  the  margin  allowed  them  by  your  advertising 
competitor  is  twenty-five  per  cent;   is  that  not  true?" 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    123 

"That's  right,"  replied  Zent. 

"Under  the  plan  I  propose,"  said  Weston,  "you  will 
allow  twenty  per  cent  to  the  jobber,  and  twenty-five 
per  cent  to  the  dealer,  your  competitor's  allowance 
being  ten  per  cent  to  the  jobber  and  twenty-five  per 
cent  to  the  dealer.  Now,  as  you  have  been  allowing 
the  dealer  fifty  per  cent,  you  will  effect  a  saving  of 
five  per  cent  on  all  goods  sold.  Thus,  I  believe  that 
with  the  new  arrangement  of  jobbers'  and  dealers' 
profits,  the  saving  that  you  will  effect  on  this  item 
alone  will  pay  all  the  advertising  expenditure.  At 
these  figures  you  will  be  allowing  the  jobber  ten  per 
cent  more  than  your  competitor,  which  will  of  itself 
be- an  incentive  for  him  to  push  your  goods." 

"Yes,"  said  Zent,  "but  not  if  he  has  to  create  the 
demand. ' ' 

"No,  not  if  he  has  to  create  the  demand  by  old 
methods,  but  I  intend  to  put  into  his  hands  new^  meth- 
ods, attractive  methods,  that  will  stamp  him  as  enter- 
prising, enthuse  his  city,  and  traveling  salesmen,  re- 
flect credit  and  prestige  upon  his  house,  and  be  of 
help  in  the  sale  of  his  other  lines." 

"And  I  infer  that  you  intend  to  do  all  this  with 
this  little  machine  as  a  basis,"  remarked  Zent  skep- 
tically. 

"Exactly,"  replied  Weston  confidently.  "What 
is  your  best  selling  shear,  Mr.  Zent?" 

"The  'Tite-Cut,'  "  replied  Zent. 

"Here  is  a  pair  of  them.  They  have  a  small  at- 
tachment here  at  the  screw  to  take  up  the  wear,  which 
prevents  the  blades  from  becoming  loose;  we  make 
them  in  a  line  of  sizes." 

' '  Capital ! ' '  exclaimed  Weston.  ' '  We  will  put  them 
out  in  twenty,  fifty,  and  one  hundred  dollar  assort- 
ments, giving  a  machine  free  with  each  assortment. 
The  small  dealers  will  order  the  small  assortments; 
the  large  dealers,  the  large  ones." 

"What  in  the  world,"  asked  Zent,  "will  a  dealer 
want  of  a  machine?  He  seldom  uses  scissors  himself, 
and,  if  he  does,  they  need  grinding  seldom.  He  might 
take  the  grinder  home  to  his  wife  for  her  use,  but  he'd 


124  Clever  Business  Sketches 

hardly  place  an  order  for  our  assortment  simply  to 
get  a  machine  to  give  to  her." 

"I  am  not,"  replied  Weston,  smiling,  "relying  upon 
the  husbandly  gallantry  of  our  dealers,  Mr.  Zent,  for 
the  success  of  my  plan." 

Weston  began  sketching  roughly  on  the  paper  be- 
fore him.  "This,"  he  said,  "represents  a  large,  col- 
ored, lithographed  cut-out  of  a  young  man  sharpening 
a  pair  of  shears  on  his  little  grinding  machine.  At  his 
left  are  reproduced  illustrations  in  actual  size  of  each 
shear  in  your  line  of  'Tite-Cut'  shears,  with  the  price 
prominently  brought  out  below  each.  In  connection 
with  these  there  is  to  be  an  enlarged  illustration  of  the 
*  Tite-Cut'  take-up  principle,  showing  how  the  wear  at 
the  bearing  can  not  loosen  the  blades.  Below  these 
shear  illustrations,  in  prominent  letters  are  the  words : 
'  Your  shears  ground  free ! !  Every  pair  of  ' '  Tite-Cut ' ' 
Shears  purchased  of  us  will  be  ground  and  perfectly 
sharpened  for  a  period  of  two  years  absolutely  with- 
out charge  at  any  time  that  they  may  be  dull.'  This 
cut-out  must  be  a  very  striking  one,  but  it  and  the 
little  machine  will  constitute  your  advertising  with  the 
exception  of  a  dealers'  distribution  booklet  on  shear 
history  and  shear  making  that  I  have  in  mind." 

"But  will  the  dealer  want  to  go  to  the  trouble  of 
grinding  shears  free?"  asked  Zent. 

"Most  certainly,"  replied  Weston.  "With  this  lit- 
tle machine* he  or  one  of  his  clerks  can  do  it  easily, 
quickly  and  satisfactorily  while  the  customer  waits, 
only  a  minute  or  two.  Don 't  you  see  that  it  will  bring 
customers  into  the  store,  which  is  most  desirable?  Be- 
sides the  free  grinding  feature  and  the  striking  show- 
window  cut-out  will  sell  more  shears  than  your  com- 
petitor's big  advertising  campaign.  I  believe  the  job- 
bers will  jump  at  these  assortments  when  you  will 
have  begun  to  put  them  out.  The  idea  is  so  practical, 
the  little  grinding  machines  so  neat  and  clever  and 
the  window  display  cut-out  will  be  so  striking  that  the 
jobber  and  his  salesmen  will  be  glad  to  feature  it. 
Salesmen  like  new  and  interesting  things  to  show  to 
dealers,  and  it  brightens  them  up  on  their  other  lines. 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent     l-''^ 

Enthusing  the  jobbers'  salesmen  means  sales  to  the 
dealer  every  time.  With  the  salesman  talking  the  as- 
sortments, the  dealer  will  place  his  order  for  one  at 
once." 

"Yes,  and  each  jobber  has  from  three  to  a  hundred 
or  more  salesmen,"  said  Zent  thoughtfully.  "It's  a 
big  field."  The  straw  was  growing  into  a  fair-sized 
log. 

"None  finer,"  said  Weston,  "and,  what  is  more 
important  to  you,  you  get  your  money  in  ten  days." 

"I  am  favorably  impressed  as  to  the  practicability 
of  your  plan,"  Mr.  Weston,"  said  Zent.  "It  has  all 
the  elements  of  success,  I  believe.  The  time  in  which 
I  shall  have  to  make  good  is  short.  I  shall  have  to 
decide  quickly,  and  there  is  no  other  feasible  plan  in 
sight."  He  looked  inquiringly  at  Weston,  who  re- 
plied:   "I  know  of  none  better." 

"Then  we  will  adopt  it,"  said  Zent  decisively. 
"For  the  next  year  I  am  ready  to  follow  to  the  letter 
your  instructions,  and  to  abide  by  the  policy  you  may 
outline  in  this  business." 

Weston  drew  his  repeater  from  his  vest  and  noted 
the  time.  "Please  call  up  Warren,  of  the  Colonial 
Lithograph  Company,  and  have  him  prepare  a  color 
sketch  and  model  of  the  cut-out  along  the  lines  sug- 
gested by  me.  Have  him  come  out  and  get  the  copy 
from  you,  which  I  know  you  are  advertising  man 
enough  to  lay  out  and  write  up  according  to  my  out- 
line. Also  have  two  thousand  of  the  little  grinding 
machines  made  up  and  order  material  for  ten  thousand 
more.  When  Warren  delivers  the  model  and  sketch  to 
you,  call  me  up,  as  I  Avish  to  0.  K.  it  with  you.  Also 
attend  to  the  other  matters  I  spoke  to  you  about,  es- 
pecially that  of  getting  in  all  outstanding  accounts  at 
once  by  means  of  special  discounts. 

"Keep  a  close  rein  on  Kendall  and  pin  him  down 
on  everything.  Keep  a  lookout  for  a  successor  for  him 
in  case  you  fiiid  that,  as  I  have  said,  he  is  more  crafty 
than  wise,  is  neglecting  things  and  has  been  pulling 
the  wool  over  your  eyes. 

"I  will  send  an  assistant  to  correct  and  install  the 


126  Clever  Business  Sketches 

revised  system  for  your  ofifice  work,  as  suggested  by 
me.  May  I  see  that  photograph  over  there  on  your 
desk?" 

"Certainly,"  replied  Zent,  handing  it  to  him.  "It 
is  my  sister's." 

"I  thought  so,"  said  Weston,  becoming  absorbed  in 
a  study  of  the  face.  He  then  studied  Zent's  features 
thoughtfully,  and,  handing  back  the  picture,  said: 
"I  notice  that  'Smith  College'  is  written  below  her 
name  on  the  photo." 

"Yes,  Laura  attended  Smith,"  returned  Zent, 

' '  Could  you  get  her  to  collaborate  with  an  assistant 
of  mine  in  writing  a  booklet  on  shears?  I  want  a 
woman's  temperamental  finesse  along  with  a  man's 
practicality  in  it,  because  the  booklet  will  go  mostly 
to  women.  It  will  be  designed  for  distribution  through 
your  new  assortment  dealers — a  handsome  affair  as  to 
printing,  paper-stock  and  cover,  with  excellent  illus- 
trations and  artistic  vignettes. 

"I  wish  your  sister  and  my  assistant  to  go  into 
archeology  and  history  for  the  interesting  things  con- 
nected with  shears — their  origin,  manufacture  and 
use.  I  believe  they  began  in  the  bronze  age  and  that 
they  have  figured  in  many  classic,  historic  and  tragic 
incidents,  as  well  as  being  one  of  woman's  best 
friends  in  our  age  of  autos  and  air-ships.  Mr.  Hayes, 
here,  is  the  assistant  whom  I  desire  to  collaborate  with 
Miss  Zent  in  the  work." 

Zent  smiled  at  me  as  Weston  mentioned  my  name. 
"I  am  sure,"  he  said  graciously,  "that  I\Ir.  Hayes  will 
do  it  splendidly,  while  Laura  is  quite  proficient  in  a 
literary  way.  I  know  she  will  be  delighted  to  be  of 
help  in  our  venture  and  its  work." 

"Then,"  said  Weston,  evidently  pleased  at  the  fav- 
orable reception  of  his  idea, ' '  Mr.  Hayes  will  call  upon 
you  both  this  evening,  provided  it  will  be  convenient. 
We  have  little  time  to  lose  in  completing  my  plans." 

"We  will  be  glad  to  have  him  come  tonight,"  said 
Zent.  "You  will  be  most  welcome,  Mr.  Hayes."  As 
he  finished  speaking,  he  drew  a  box  of  cigars  from  a 


The  Strmige  Case  of  Clement  Zent    127 

drawer  of  the  table.  We  lighted  up  and  Weston  and 
I  drew  oil  our  coats  and  gloves. 

We  were  soon  rolling  along  the  boulevards  toward 
the  city,  Weston  driving  the  car.  Finally  he  said: 
"I  will  soon  have  the  atoms  in  a  row,  and  under  my 
plan  they  will  fasten  themselves  together  quickly, 
forming  a  rod  that  Zent  can  successfully  work  with 
in  his  quest  for  gold." 

"Which,"  I  said,  "puts  me  in  mind  of  what  Rus- 
kin  says  about  gold,  not  so  much  in  that  it  applies  to 
gold  as  that  it  applies  to  you,  who  are  communicating 
your  knowledge  to  Zent  for  a  good  purpose.  If  I  do 
not  quote  rightly,  forgive  me.  I  believe  your  favorite 
says :  'The  moment  we  can  use  our  possessions  to  any 
good  purpose  ourselves,  the  instinct  of  communicating 
that  use  to  others  rises  side  by  side  with  our  power.  If 
you  can  read  a  book  rightly,  you  will  want  others  to 
hear  it;  if  you  can  enjoy  a  picture  rightly,  you  will 
want  others  to  see  it ;  learn  how  to  manage  a  horse,  a 
plow,  or  a  ship,  and  you  will  desire  to  make  your  sub- 
ordinates good  horsemen,  plowmen  or  sailors ;  you  will 
never  be  able  to  see  the  fine  instrument  that  you  are 
master  of  abused  ;  but  once  fix  your  mind  on  anything 
useless,  and  all  the  purest  pride  and  folly  in  your  heart 
will  mix  with  the  desire,  and  make  you  at  last  wholly 
inhuman,  a  mere  ugly  lump  of  stomach  and  suckers 
like  a  cuttle  fish.' " 

' '  There  are  a  great  many  cuttle  fishes  in  the  world, 
Billy,"  said  Weston,  with  a  smile. 

"Yes,"  I  replied  instantly,  "and  few  men  like  you, 
who  not  only  make  good  use  of  your  capabilities  but 
impart  them  to  others." 

Weston  made  a  deprecating  motion  with  his  head, 
his  hands  being  occupied,  as  we  bowled  along. 

"You  know  how  to  form  a  rod  that  will  help  Zent 


"Yes,"  he  interrupted  grimly,  "but  the  rod  that 
helps  one  often  falls  heavily  on  another." 

"But,  I  hope,  always  on  the  cuttle  fish,"  I  said. 

"Sometimes  on  a  cuttle  fish,"  he  replied  with  a 
grim  smile. 


128  Clever  Business  Sketches 

CHAPTER    VI. 

BILLY  AND  LAURA  COLLABORATE. 

It  was  with  pleasant  anticipation  that  I  pressed 
the  button  to  the  Zents'  apartments  that  evening. 

Alexander  Zent  was  the  first  to  meet  me  after  the 
maid  who  took  my  card.  He  ushered  me  into  the  li- 
brary, explaining  happily  that,  as  I  had  come  to  work, 
we  might  just  as  well  get  into  the  shop  at  once. 

I  was  surprised  to  find  Weston  there.  He  smiled 
cordially  as  I  entered,  and  we  shook  hands. 

"Miss  Zent  will  not  be  in  for  a  half  hour,"  said 
Zent,  handing  me  a  cigar;  "so  make  yourself  com- 
fortable." 

I  sank  into  one  of  the  large  leather  chairs,  the  three 
of  us  making  a  semi-circle  at  the  right  of  the  elec- 
trolier. 

"You  were  saying,  Mr.  Zent,  that  your  brother  was 
sent  to  Cambridge,  England,  to  attend  school  while 
yet  a  small  lad,"  said  Weston. 

"Yes,  my  father,  though  in  moderate  circumstances 
at  the  time,  being  what  is  termed  '  land  poor, '  wanted 
Clement  educated  in  England.  However,  after  two 
years  the  boy  rebelled,  and  ran  away  from  the  tutor 
to  whom  my  father  had  given  him  in  charge.  For  a 
year  we  heard  nothing  from  Clement,  but,  after  that 
time,  he  wrote  to  my  father,  who  continually  impor- 
tuned him  to  return  home  and  at  the  same  time  sup- 
plied him  w'ith  what  money  he  needed.  However, 
Clement  did  not  return  until  his  twenty-fifth  year. 

"After  his  return,  his  rebellious  and  headstrong 
temperament  asserted  itself  continually  in  clashes  with 
my  father.  However,  the  latter  considered  himself  to 
blame  for  sending  a  mere  boy  so  far  away  from  home 
to  school  among  a  strange  people,  and  he  believed  that 
this  had  much  to  do  with  the  stunting  of  Clement's 
affections." 

"Mr.  Zent,"  asked  Weston,  "have  you  preserved 
the  letters  written  by  your  brother  just  after  reach- 
ing Cambridge,  and  those  written  after  his  truancy?" 

"Yes,"  replied  Zent,  "I  have  them.  My  brother 
wrote  to  me  as  well  as  to  my  father." 


TJie  Stranc/e  Case  of  Clement  Zent     129 

"I  would  like  very  much  to  see  one  of  each,"  said 
Weston.  "I  am  a  student  of  hand-writing  and  wish 
to  see  what  (*haiip:(\  if  any,  took  place  in  your  brother's 
hand  with  llic  clianf^c  in  his  disposition,  for  you  have 
told  mo,  Mr.  Zent,  that  he  was  most  lovable  and  kind 
before  being  sent  to  England,  and  that  for  some 
months  after  reaching  there  his  letters  abounded  in 
filial  regard  and  brotherly  afTTeetion.  Tf  you  will  let 
me  take  these  two  letters,  I  shall  return  them  within 
a  few  daj's. " 

"I  shall  be  glad  to  let  you  take  them,"  replied  Zent, 
"I  have  at  times  been  interested  in  graphology  my- 
self.    I  shall  be  glad  to  know  your  observations." 

Zent  brought  a  packet  of  letters  from  a  drawer  of 
the  library  table  and  selected  two  letters  therefrom 
which  he  handed  to  "Weston,  who  examined  the  dates 
carefully. 

"These  will  do,"  he  said,  "putting  them  into  his 
pocket. 

"Do  you  recall,  Mr.  Zent,"  he  asked,  "any  physical 
mark  peculiar  to  your  brother  as  a  boy?" 

"None,  except  upon  the  left  foot,  he  had  a  double 
toe." 

"Do  you  mean  that  two  toes  were  grown  together?" 

"Yes,  one  broad  nail  covered  them  both." 

"I  have  seen  like  malformations,"  said  "Weston. 
"Ah,  here  is  Miss  Zent!" 

"Laura,"  said  Zent,  smiling  and  grasping  my  arm 
as  I  rose,  "this  is  your  collaborator,  Mr.  Hayes." 

"We  were  soon  interested  in  the  proposed  booklet, 
"Weston  outlining  to  Laura  the  treatment  of  the  subject 
that  he  expected  her  to  give  it.  T  thought  her  very 
beautiful,  with  the  most  delicate  and  flower-like  feat- 
ures that  I  had  ever  seen,  as  she  sat  there  in  the  library 
listening  to  Westoil.  Her  gown  was  a  simple  white 
one,  which  she  wore  with  lithe  and  charming  grace. 

"In  the  classics,"  "Weston  was  saying  earnestly, 
"the  shear  has  probably  most  importance  in  the  hands 
of  Atropos,  the  eldest  of  the  Fates,  who  cuts  the  thread 
of  life,  after  Clotho  has  spun  and  Lachesis  meas- 
ured it." 


130  Clever  Business  Sketches 

I  looked  at  Zent,  who  sat  with  his  hand  shading  his 
eyes,  and  I  thought  of  how  near  Atropos  had  come  to 
cutting  the  thread  of  his  troubled  life  but  a  few  short 
hours  before ;  and  then  I  looked  at  Weston,  the  man 
who  was  using  his  fine  intellect  in  an  endeavor  to  cause 
Lachesis  to  lengthen  the  span  beyond  the  short  year 
prescribed  for  Zent,  if  he  failed  to  pay  his  brother's 
note  within  that  time. 

But  best  of  all  it  was  to  look  upon  this  fair  young 
girl,  who  knew  so  little  of  how  she  had  laid  a  restrain- 
ing hand  upon  Atropos'  arm  as  she  called  her  brother 
Aleck's  name  and  slipped,  with  loving  hands,  the 
banker's  letter  and  the  check  under  the  door  that 
stood  between  her  and  a  life  sorrow. 

It  was  one  of  the  little  dramas  of  business  that  are 
always  happening,  and  of  this  one,  I  hoped  the  world 
would  never  hear. 

Here  were  the  actors:  Hero,  Heroine,  and  Victim, 
while,  with  a  shift  of  scene,  alone  and  unloved,  in  his 
suburban  home,  I  pictured  the  Villian,  a  parchment 
man  with  ink  for  blood,  the  blood  of  a  cuttle  fish,  cal- 
culating the  days,  hours  and  minutes  that  would  bring 
him  his  pound  of  flesh. 

And  then  the  evening  wore  on  with  Weston  gone 
and  Zent  dozing  in  his  chair,  while  Laura  and  I 
delved  into  the  ancient  past,  through  heavy  tomes, 
seeking  the  lore  of  shears. 

Once,  as  we  bent  over  a  book,  a  tiny  wisp  of  her  hair 
touched  my  forehead;  again,  our  fingers  met  as  we 
compared  notes;  and,  anon,  we  talked  of  our  college 
days  with  reminiscent  laughs  and  chatter. 

I  spent  many  of  these  evenings  at  the  Zent's,  and  it 
was  with  a  feeling  of  regret  that  I  saw  the  booklet 
completed,  and  knew  that  my  part  of  the  work  was  at 
an  end. 

CHAPTER   VII. 

CONCERNING    A   DOUBLE   TOE. 

Six  months  passed  rapidly  by.  Under  Zent's  care- 
ful and  energetic  management  of  We.ston's  policies 
and  under  his  counselorship,  the  Empire  Shear  Com- 
pany forged  ahead  rapidly  along  the  new  lines. 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    l"^! 

Three  general  salesmen,  carefully  selected  for  their 
experience,  ability  and  acquaintanceship  among  the 
jobbing  trade,  h;id  covered  the  country  calling  ex- 
clusivtily  upon  jobboi-s.  The  latter,  generally,  had 
taken  on  the  new  assortments,  their  first  orders  in- 
cluding outfits  for  their  salesmen  to  carry  that  were 
nuide  up  of  a  dealer's  grinding  machine,  a  cut-out 
show-window  display,  a  few  booklets,  and  a  sample 
line  of  the  shears  comprised  in  the  assortments. 

The  dealers  had  literally  jumped  at  the  assortments, 
and,  as  Weston's  plan  of  advertising  and  free  grind- 
ing proved  sulphitically  po])ular,  most  of  them  sold 
out  quickly,  placing  duplicate  orders  with  the  jobbers 
who,  in  turn,  placed  duplicate  orders  with  the  Empire 
Shear  Company. 

The  latter  issued  a  book  on  salesmanship  designed 
to  interest,  instruct  and  enthuse  the  jobbers'  sales- 
men on  the  assortments  and  upon  the  Empire  Shear 
Company's  line  generally. 

When  one  of  the  general  salesmen  of  the  Empire 
Shear  Company  called  upon  a  jobber,  the  latter  upon 
taking  on  the  line  would  either  furnish  him  with  a 
list  of  the  house's  salesmen,  or  direct  that  so  many 
letters  of  so  much  printed  matter  be  sent  it  from 
time  to  time  for  distribution  to  its  salesmen. 

A  jobbers'  salesmen  mailing-list  was  a  feature  of 
the  campaign,  and  once  a  month  the  company  mailed 
out  a  letter,  circular  or  booklet,  containing  new  selling 
points  and  ginger  for  the  constantly  increasing  army 
of  jobbers'  salesmen  handling  the  line. 

Kendall  was  still  retained  as  superintendent,  Zent 
having  shown  him  the  error  of  his  ways,  through 
Weston's  insight,  for  after  all  he  was  a  most  skillful 
craftsman  and  manager. 

New  factory  and  cost  systems  had  been  installed  and 
the  office  methods  revised  and  shortened  materially. 
System  was  now  the  keynote  of  the  enterprise  and 
had  its  perfect  place  in  every  department  of  the  busi- 
ness. 

Weston's  policy  had  made  good,  and  the  next  six 
months  would  see  Zent  walk  into  his  brother's  ofSce 


132  Clever  Business  Sketches 

and  pay  off  the  second  note  without  its  making  a 
larger  dent  in  his  resources  than  a  pea  dropped  upon 
a  snare  drum. 

Thus  stood  matters  when,  one  afternoon  in  May, 
Weston  and  1  sat  chatting  in  the  latter 's  office.  The 
windows  were  up  and  from  the  bottom  of  the  canon 
below  us  the  distant  roar  of  street  traffic  was  wafted 
on  the  spring  air. 

Of  late  Weston  had  been  much  interested  in  for- 
eign correspondence,  and  I  had  noticed  that  he  gave 
especial  attention  to  letters  addressed  to  and  received 
from  the  city  of  Cambridge,  England. 

One  day,  while  he  was  out,  a  telephone  message  was 
given  me  from  a  prominent  bath-house.  "Tell  Weston 
Clement  Zent  has  just  come  in,"  said  a  voice,  and  a 
click  in  my  receiver  told  me  that  the  speaker  had 
*'hung  up." 

Just  then  Weston  came  in,  and  I  repeated  the  mes- 
sage. 

"I've  been  waiting  for  that  for  a  month,"  he  said, 
in  his  quick,  quiet  way,  and  the  next  moment  the  ele- 
vator had  swallowed  him. 

An  hour  later  he  returned,  and  there  was  a  look  of 
triumph  on  his  firm  mouth  as  he  said:  "It  took  me 
two  days  to  find  out  by  grammapheny  what  I  have 
just  confirmed  in  two  minutes  by — yes,  why,  not? — 
'  pedology '. ' ' 

Today  we  had  talked  of  many  things,  for  he  was 
versed  in  certain  branches  of  all — religion,  law,  sci- 
ence, art,  literature,  history,  psychology,  criminology, 
etc.,  and  I  had  found  him  to  be  neither  a  dilettante  nor 
a  sciolist. 

lie  would  talk  only  on  the  branches  that  he  knew 
about  positively,  and  when  we  broke  ground  in  any 
with  which  he  was  unfamiliar,  which  was  seldom,  he 
could  listen,  if  one  had  aught  to  tell  him,  as  well  as  he 
could  talk  on  a  subject  which  he  knew. 

Decisive  and  masterful  in  action,  quick  in  thought 
and  resource,  and  with  abundant  knowledge  and  train- 
ing, it  was  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  he  was  a  promi' 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent    1^3 

nent  factor  in  the  business  life  of  the  day,  a  counselor 
of  millionaires  and  of  officers  of  great  corporations. 

The  one  subject  upon  which  he  never  conversed  was 
himself;  perhaps  through  modesty,  and  perhaps 
through  policy;  but  it  is  a  good  trait  which  motive 
cannot  sully. 

We  were  at  peace  with  the  world  that  afternoon, 
alternately  smoking  and  conversing,  sometimes  with 
Weston  thinking,  and  me  dreaming  with  just  a  wisp 
of  soft  hair  brushing  my  forehead,  and  delicate  fingers 
meeting  mine  in  contact  over  old  books. 

At  that  moment  all  the  trouble  in  the  world,  con- 
densed into  five  feet  seven  of  young  womanhood, 
burst  in  upon  us.  It  was  Laura  Zent,  and  there  was 
dull  horror  in  her  dark  eyes,  while  her  mouth  was 
drawn  with  anxiety. 

"Come  with  me  quick,"  she  gasped.  "Aleck  has 
gone  to  kill  Clement  Zent." 

We  were  on  our  feet  instantly  rushing  for  the  ele- 
vators ;  we  were  on  the  street,  hailing  a  cab ;  we  were 
galloping  over  rough  pavements,  and  through  it  all 
Laura  was  telling  us  that  Clement  had  taken  some 
legal  action  that  would  throw  the  Empire  Shear  Com- 
pany into  a  receiver's  hands  ruining  Alexander  com- 
pletely. 

"I  was  at  Alecks'  office  when  his  attorney  'phoned 
the  news.  I  caught  the  gist  from  what  Aleck  said — 
then   he   swore   terribly,    and   smashed   the   receiver 

through  the  telephone  casing.     * him!    I'll 

kill  him ! '  is  what  he  said,  and  he  snatched  a  revolver 
from  his  desk,  and  is  probably  at  Clement's  now.  Oh, 
oh!"  She  put  her  hands  over  her  face  to  shut  out 
what  her  eyes  were  picturing,  while  I  tried  to  comfort 
her,  my  hand  upon  her  shoulder  and  my  lips  close  to 
her  shell-like  ear,  for  the  noise  and  rattle  were  deaf- 
ening. 

Weston  fairly  wrenched  the  door  from  the  cab  as  he 
sprang  from  it  before  the  galloping  horse  had  stopped 
in  front  of  the  building  containing  Clement  Zent's 
offices. 

Laura  and  I  followed  but  missed  the  car  he  took. 


134  Clever  Business  Sketches 

lu  our  own  car,  ascending  with  us,  was  Clement  Zent, 
too  preoccupied  with  his  own  thoughts  to  see  us  in  the 
crowded  elevator. 

"See,"  I  said,  "there  is  Clement  Zent,  and  Weston 
is  with  your  brother  Aleck  by  this  time.  It's  all 
right." 

A  wave  of  crimson  came  into  Laura's  white  cheeks, 
and  for  the  first  time  I  noticed  that  her  hand  was  in 
mine.  As  I  relaxed  my  hold,  she  quietly  withdrew  it, 
and  we  followed  Clement  into  his  office,  where  he  en- 
countered Weston  standing  over  his  brother.  Weston 
had  just  slipped  a  polished  object  into  his  own  pocket, 
while  four  red  marks,  as  of  powerful  finger-ends, 
burned  on  Aleck  Zent's  right  wrist. 

"  I  am  representing  Aleck, '  *  Weston  said  to  Clement 
Zent  mechanically,  with  quiet  power,  "and  you  will 
talk  to  me.  I  do  not  know  what  action  you  have  taken 
today,  but  if  it  is  taken  in  the  name  of  Clement  Zent 
it  is  revokable.     Come  here,  Billy." 

He  whispered  in  my  ear,  and  I  moved  quietly  to  a 
place  a  few  paces  behind  Clement  Zent. 

"You  are,  no  doubt,  a  very  clever  man,"  the  latter 
said  to  Weston,  smiling  sarcastically,  "but  I  think 
the  Zents  would  prefer  to  settle  their  private  affairs 
among  themselves. ' ' 

"It  is  probably  just  as  woU  for  you  that  you  have 
not  been  allowed  to,"  returned  Weston  in  quick  and 
evenly  sustained  tones.  "It  is  probably  also  just  as 
well  that  you  have  forced  my  hand,  although  1  had 
planned  to  show  it  to  you  without  a  scene.  If  the 
action  you  have  taken  today  is  as  a  stockholder  in  the 
Empire  Shear  Company,  I  can  understand  your  phil- 
anthropy in  investing  five  hundred  dollars  in  the  cap- 
ital stock  of  a  company  in  which  you  had  no  faith." 

"There  is  usually  method  in  my  madness,"  replied 
Zent  with  sarcasm,  looking  insultingly  at  his  brother 
and  then  at  Weston.  "But  how  all  this  concerns  you 
is  beyond  me." 

"There  are  many  things  beyond  you,  sir,"  replied 
Weston  coldly,  "even  the  sea,  and  beyond  that,  the 
dead  body  of  the  boy  that  was  Clement  Zent." 


The  Strange  Case  of  Clement  Zent     135 

A  cynical  smile  only  deepened  on  Zent's  face. 
Laura  and  her  brother  caught  their  breaths  and  stared 
at  Weston. 

"A  pretty  tale,  no  doubt,"  said  Zent,  with  sneering 
tolerance.  "Well,  let's  hear  it."  lie  sat  down  upon 
a  convenient  chair,  and  eyed  Weston. 

"I  believe,"  said  the  latter  quickly,  "that  you  arc 
John  Winn,  a  son  of  James  Winn,  the  tutor  with 
whom  Clement  Zent,  Sr.,  intrusted  his  son  in  Cam- 
bridge;  that  Clement  Zent,  Jr.,  died  in  your  father's 
house,  while  you  went  to  the  continent;  that  after  a 
year  you  began  writing  to  Clement  Zent,  Sr.,  as  his 
son,  your  father  having  represented  to  him  that  his 
son  had  run  away.  It  is  all  a  question  of  gramma- 
pheny — and  the  proof  is  here." 

Here  Weston  produced  the  two  letters  that  Aleck 
Zent  had  given  him. 

"The  first  of  these,"  he  continued,  "was  written 
by  Clement  Zent,  Jr. ;  the  last,  by  yourself,  for  even 
there  you  were  a  clover  penman,  were  you  not,  Mr. 
Winn  ?  The  object  of  your  father  in  foisting  you  upon 
Clement  Zent,  Sr.,  as  his  son,  was  to  provide  a  com- 
petence for  you,  your  father  being  a  poor  man,  and 
Clement  Zent,  Sr.,  a  man  of  property.  Your  mis- 
guided father  has  no  doubt  profited  but  little  by  your 
prosperity,  however." 

"Are  you  through  with  that  clack?"  asked  Clement 
Zent ;  and  then,  with  what  seemed  actual  good  nature, 
he  said :  ' '  Why,  even  if  your  preposterous  story  were 
true,  you  could  only  offer  expert  testimony  in  hand- 
writing, while  I  would  offset  that  by  the  testimony  of 
the  experts  that  I  would  bring  in  to  swear  that  the 
same  person  wrote  both  letters.  I  am  afraid,"  he 
said,  laughing  at  Weston,  "that  you  will  have  to  guess 
again." 

"Cambridge  records  and  witnesses,"  said  Weston 
cooly,  "no  doubt,  later  on,  will  prove  my  story  to  the 
satisfaction  of  a  court  and  jury.  But  we  cannot  wait 
for  that  now ;  consequently,  we  shall  try  a  little  ex- 
periment in  pedology.  Clement  Zent,  Jr.,  was  known 
by  his  brother  to  have  had  a  double  toe  covered  by 


136  Clever  Business  Sketches 

one  nail  on  his  left  foot,  and  there  are  other  living 
witnesses  to  that  fact.  Will  you  kindly  remove  your 
left  shoe  and  stocking?" 

' '  Well,  hardly, ' '  replied  Zent.  ' '  Now,  my  dear  sir, ' ' 
he  said,  rising,  "I  think  this  has  gone  about  far 
enough.  AVill  you  leave  my  office,  or  shall  I  have  to 
call  the  police?" 

"You  may  call  the  police,"  replied  Weston,  nod- 
ding to  me,  "after  I  have  proved  to  Aleck  Zent  that 
you  are  an  impostor,  powerless  to  harm  him,  and  that 
you  can  be  convicted  of  forgery  and  perjury." 

Instantly,  I  had  pinioned  the  man's  arms  behind 
him,  while  Zent  and  Weston  held  his  lower  limbs  and 
removed  the  shoe  and  stocking  of  his  left  foot.  The 
five  toes  were  separately  and  perfectly  formed.  Wes- 
ton moved  over  to  the  telephone  as  Zent  let  Winn's 
left  limb  fall  to  the  floor. 

"What  does  my  experiment  tell  you,  Mr.  Zent?" 
asked  Weston,  looking  at  the  latter,  while  the  thin 
frame  of  John  Winn  shuddered  in  my  grasp. 

A  composite  look  of  amazement,  sorrow  and  relief 
was  upon  Aleck  Zent's  face  as  he  went  over  where 
Laura  stood  and  took  her  in  his  arms. 

"That  you  may  call  the  police,"  he  said. 


THE  PROMOTER;    lll!S  GENIUS 
A  Rough-Edged  Satire. 

BY  ELWOOD  S.   BROWN. 

Genius  is  a  strange,  intangible  force.  It  is  an  un- 
definable,  peculiar  something  that  possesses  a  certain 
class  of  extraordinary  human  beings  and  gives  vent 
to  itself  in  a  manner  that  impresses  and  confounds 
mortals. 

The  outlet  of  genius  may  be  in  a  beautiful  piece  of 
poetry  or  it  may  be  in  the  rare  ability  to  breed  Poland- 
China  hogs  from  mongrel  stock;  genius  may  become 
apparent  in  a  brilliant  oratorical  outburst,  or  it  may 
manifest  itself  in  the  ability  to  raise  watermelons  that 
live  up,  or  better,  grow  up  to  the  pictures  in  the  cata- 
log; genius  may  reveal  itself  in  rare  works  of  imag- 
inative art,  or  it  may  give  demonstration  of  its  pres- 
ence in  the  science  of  making  one  dollar  look  like  two 
to  the  other  man.  The  latter  is  the  most  weird,  yet 
attractive  form  in  which  the  business  world  recognizes 
genius.  The  rarest  genius  with  whom  I  ever  came  in 
personal  contact  was  a  gentleman  who  sold  me  a  $5 
pair  of  shoes  for  $1.69,  and  made  me  believe.  They 
lasted  until  the  next  rain.  It  was  the  29th  day  of 
March,  in  Chicago. 

The  first-class  promoter  is  a  genius  of  the  highest 
type.  Often  at  alternating  times,  he  is  a  creative  and 
destructive  genius.  All  promoters  do  not  work  de- 
struction, though  it  is  a  delightful  exception  to  a  well- 
established  rule.  By  brilliant  mental  magnetism  the 
promoter  creates  wealth  from  a  substance  that  never 
existed.  He  rears,  raises,  feeds  and  exercises  it  on 
paper  and  imagination,  until  a  relapse  comes,  when 
it  is  caused  to  evaporate  through  the  waste  basket. 

I  once  knew  of  a  promoter  who  had  a  dream  of  a 
gold  mine.  "When  he  awoke  he  started  in  to  work. 
He   ordered   $50   worth   of   stock   books    (brilliantly 

137 


138 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


printed),  spent  $3,000  in  advertising,  and  sold  at  10 
cents  per  share.  When  in  his  prospectus  he  had  ex- 
panded his  beautiful  second  nature  creation  until  it 
had  the  semblance  of  a  magnificent  reality,  he  ad- 
vanced to  15  cents,  sold  ofif  some  $50,000  worth,  and 
embarked  for  the  Fiji  Islands. 

Before  making  an  analysis  of  the  promoter,  let  us 
take  a  brief  glance  at  the  advertising  literature  which 
he  casts  about  so  promiscuously.  Of  course  this  it 
not  the  method  of  all  promoters.  The  prospective  pur- 
chaser is  urged  to  ' '  get  in  on  the  ground  floor. ' '  This 
is  a  beautiful  nature  picture,  for  rarely  is  there  a  sec- 
ond story  to  obstruct  the  view.  In  an  endless  vista 
the  ground  tloor  stretches  as  far  as  the  eye  can  see, 
and  beautiful  decorations  of  the  dollar  sign,  period 
and  figure  "10"  meet  the  gaze  of  the  investor.  Once 
in  a  while  on  this  ground  floor 

j-^  -^LS£i  /     , of  10-ccnt  stock  a  flimsy  scant- 

V         ''^^tl'd'Ji  ^^""  ^^  raised  when  the  price 

goes  to  15,  and  I  have  heard 
of  instances  where  the  plas- 
tering stage  Avas  reached  when 
10-cent  stock  swelled  to  the 
50-cent  mark.  All  temporary 
construction  work  usually  is 
done,  however,  to  increase  the 
possibilities  of  the  "ground 
floor." 

Occasionally,  for  variety 's  sake,  we  come  in  contact 
with  a  15  per  cent  dividend  paying  proposition  with 
stock  at  $100  per  share.  This  is  an  interesting  men- 
tal extravagance.  The  15  per  cent  looms  up  in  bril- 
liant gilt  and  suggests  an  affluence  of  income  on  a 
mere  bagatelle  of  investment.  The  eager,  prospective 
buyer  sees  the  quarterly  dividends  regularly  coming 
in,  while  he  sits  by  and  smokes  a  perfecto  in  blissful, 
careless  ease.  Visions  of  sunny  days,  the  novel,  a 
hammock,  a  banana  and  a  dose  flit  before  his  mental 
inwardness — and  he  stakes  a  few  thousands.  The  first 
quarterly  payment  arrives  on  time;  though  the  sec- 
ond quarterly  is  slightly  delayed  the  investor's  smile 


"Genius  of  FumpLin" 


Tlie  Promoter — His  Genius 


139 


"  The  Promoter  in 
a  Hardware  Store ' ' 


is  as  benign  as  ever ;  after  much 
worrying  the  third  comes  in.  The 
next  notice  is  an  assessment;  and 
the  next.  Finally  he  sells  for  39 
cents,  buys  a  hoe  and  some  cu- 
cumber seeds  with  the  proceeds 
and  gets  to  Avork.  Then  some 
nuisings,  gentle  contemplations 
and  hard-headed  philosophy.  He 
murmurs,  "Oh!  how  attractive- 
ly that  ad.  was  worded.  What 
brilliantly  scintillating  testimo- 
nials, surrounded  by  printers' 
starry  devices,  gleamed  from  the 
beautiful  page  of  the  paper ; 
what  a  portrayal  of  comfort 
and  ease  was  the  pictured  gen- 
tleman opening  his  mail  and  receiving  the  quar- 
terly dividend;  how  smoothly  and  glossily  appeared 
those  gentle  sentences  relative  to  an  old,  established 
plant  that  had  been  making  money  for  years  and  con- 
itinually  earning  25  per  cent  on  the  investment;  so 
few  shares  were  for  sale,  and  only  a  limited  number 
at  a  time ;  so  glowingly  picturesque  was  the  thought 
of  your  money  being  immediately  put  to  work  for  the 
purpose  of  earning  you  a  fine  return ;  above  all,  how 
attractive  the  phrase,  'There  is  no  water,  but  every 
cent  is  backed  by  tangible  assets.'  "  Is  it  not  won- 
derful? 

The  mining  and  oil  stock  propositions,  through  ad- 
vertising, are  two  of  the  most  seductively  entrancing 
money-making  schemes w^ith which  the  innocent"  biter" 
comes  in  contact.  Always  it  is,  "The  grand  chance 
of  the  lifetime ;  we  are  bound  to  strike  in  30  days,  as 
surely  as  the  sun  rises;  the  stock  then  will  jump  ta 
the  dollar  mark."  Similar  maltreatments  of  the  vir- 
tues are  inflicted.  The  10,  15  and  20  cent  stocks,  of 
this  genus,  appear  to  be  inflated  with  a  quickly  rising 
tendency.  For  some  unaccountable  reason,  however, 
although  filled  with  very  light  gas,  the  ascent  fails  to 


140 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


The  b 


take  place;  nsnally  the  ropes 
are  not  cut.  If  the  true  nature 
of  the  stock  were  allowed  free 
vent,  there  is  no  doubt  but  that 
it  would  soar  and  soar  until  the 
earth  appeared  in  a  dim  halo  of 
misty  profits.  If  but  properly 
allowed  to  follow  the  bent  of  its 
nature,  a  10-cent  stock,  at  the 
very  lowest  estimate,  would  de- 
aby  clutched  his  full  share"  velop  into  a  $10  one.  Rightly 
cultured,  fed,  educated  and  gentlemanly  treated, 
it  would  grow  to  a  $20  giant.  But  for  some 
unaccountable  reason  the  poor  little  infant,  so  full 
of  future  prospects,  so  budding  in  the  possibili- 
ties of  bursting,  luscious  fruit,  so  wonderfully  en- 
dowed with  native  ability,  integrity,  honor,  virtue  and 
strength,  is  slaughtered  in  its  mere  babyhood.  One 
little  innocent  stock,  guilty  of  nothing  but  having  been 
born,  was  suffocated  and  choked  to  death  when  but  12 
days  old.  AVhy?  I  do  not  know.  Ask  the  investor. 
Do  not  bother  the  promoter,  for  he  will  tell  you  that 
not  only  was  he  working  for  the  advancement  of  the 
community  with  all  the  powers  in  his  possession,  but 
that  he  was,  furthermore,  living  entirely  on  good  will. 
There  is  always  a  reason. 

First  and  foremost  of  the  most  prominent  charac- 
teristics of  the  promoter  is  what  is  popularly  termed 
"personal  magnetism."  The  high- water  mark  pro- 
moter can  attract  knives,  rusty  nails  and  all  manner  of 
iron  and  steel.  I  once  watched  a  promoter  in  a  hard- 
ware store.  A  box  of  bolts,  as  he  passed  by,  wiggled 
in  ecstasy;  a  hinge  and  door-knob  fairly  leaped  for 
joy  as  he  neared  their  neighborhood,  and  a  barrel  of 
nails  jumped  from  their  abode  and  in  droves  clam- 
bered into  his  lap.  A  mere  man  stands  but  little 
chance  of  resisting  him. 

In  conjunction  with  high  personal  magnetism,  the 
promoter  of  standing  f)o.sses.ses  a  powerful  mentality. 
He  represents  the  highest  development  of  practical, 
organizing  business  brains.     The  ability  to  plan,  and 


The  Promoter — His  Genius  141 

plan  far  and  deep,  accurately  and  forcibly,  consist- 
ently and  workably  is  his  strong,  natural  endowment. 
His  game  is  one  of  absorbing  interest.  Men  are  but 
puppets  to  be  pulled  and  manipulated  by  will  strings. 
The  more  men  involved  and  the  more  difficult  and 
complex  the  situation,  the  more  does  the  promoter  en- 
joy himself.  Love  of  power,  control  and  mastery 
sound  the  keynotes  of  his  heart. 

Keen  perception,  perfect  memory  and  shrewd  fore- 
sight stand  out  prominently  in  the  promoter's  men- 
tal composition.  And  there  is  always  a  lawyer  around. 
Sometimes  two,  occasionally  a  dozen,  possibly  a  herd. 
A  promoter  rarely  acts  without  his  attendant,  but 
through  him  works  with  tremendous  vigor.  "I  refer 
you  to  my  attorney,"  or,  "Drop  in  and  consult  with 
my  lawyer,"  are  his  favorite  expressions  to  large  num- 
bers of  his  business  associates. 

Executive  ability  is  a  strong  characteristic.  The 
execution  certainly  is  marvelous  and  varied.  No  finan- 
cier of  ordinary  standing  can  long  live  in  his  pres- 
ence. A  good-sized  bank  account,  under  his  tremen- 
dous power  will  die  in  a  very  few  days.  Nothing  in 
his  line  for  any  length  of  time  resists  him.  He  con- 
trols men  with  machine-like  accuracy.  He  leads  and 
urges  the  brainiest  men  forward  as  far  as  they  are 
capable  of  going  without  conflicting  with  his  ruling. 
He  is  a  natural  born  controller. 

The  promoter's  head  bulges  with  bumps  of  self- 
Bsteem,  self-reliance  and  courage.  He  knows  that  he 
is  the  biggest  man  in  the  deal,  and  he  makes  every 
man  belonging  to  the  organization  know  it  also. 

The  great,  absorbing  pleasure 
of  the  promoter  lies  in  the  work 
of  organizing.  Once  a  pro- 
moter was  temporarily  retired, 
for  the  other  man  was  a  little 
in  advance  of  him.  He  was  not 
daunted.  Borrowing  $50  he  or- 
ganized a  family  company,  ma- 
king himself  president,  one  son 
secretary  and  the  baby  an  hon- 

' '  Getting  in  on  a  good  thing ' ' 


14 J  Clever  Business  Sketclies 

orary  stockholder.    Again  he  borrowed  a  small  sum, 
I)laced  another  company  on  paper,  well  capitalized  in 
name,  and  issued  a  majoi'ity  stock  into  the  family  com- 
pany. The  baby  clutched  its  full  share.  For  a  third  time 
he  borrowed ;  this  time  for  $1,000,  and  secured  a  brief 
option  on  a  tract  of  land  by  using  the  paper  inlluence 
of  his  second  company.     Advertising  judiciously,  he 
sold  some  land  and  made  a  respectable  payment  for 
a  continuance  of  the  option.     On  the  backing  he  had 
secured  he  organized  a  larger  company  than  before, 
presented  the  controlling  stock  to  the  smaller  com- 
pany, and  advertised  the  new  company  in  a  large 
way.     The  land  sold  like  wild-fire.     A  number  of  in-  • 
fluential  men,  as  time  went  on,  entered  the  large  com- 
pany and  the  deed  was  done.     The  family  company 
ruled,  and  every  time  the  baby  squealed  he  shook  the 
large  consolidation  to  the  bottom,  as  the  dissent,  rep- 
resented by  honorary  voice  in  the  smallest  concern,  by 
stock  waves  passed  to  the  outer  rim.     The  promoter, 
when  desiring  a  little  diversion,  organized  auxiliary 
companies,    branch    companies,    side-show   companies, 
general  utility  companies,  companies  in  the  abstract, 
concrete   and   compound,   and   one   company    to    go 
around  and  pick  up  any  little  leavings  that  might  be 
lying   around   loose   awaiting   organized   effort.     He 
even  went  to  the  point  of  starting  a  nursery  company 
to  give  the  baby  executive  training.     The  infant  ob- 
jected on  the  ground,  that,  holding  an  important  in- 
terest in  the  largest  concern,  it  should  not  be  relegated 
to  so  unimportant  a  position. 

It  is  a  rare  treat  to  witness  a  certain  class  of  pro- 
moter operating  on  a  prospect- 
ive patient.  The  patient  en- 
tei-s  the  office  and  is  met  by  a 
smiling  face;  a  genially  smiling 
face;  a  benignly  smiling  face; 
a  smiling  face  in  which  good 
will,  good  nature  and  kindly 
interest  ai-e  wonderfully  blend- 
ed ;  a  smiling  face  expressive  of 
keen  sympathy  and  an  intense 

' '  Some  one  ought  to  cut  the  ropes ' ' 


The  Promoter — Ilis  Genius  143 

desire  to  do  everyone  good.      The  patient  seats  himself. 
The  weather,  the  city,  business  conditions  and  topics 
of  general  current  interest  are  discussed.    The  patient 
does  most  of  the  talking,  his  companion  giving  an 
occasional  nod,  asking  a  question  or  two,  and  main- 
taining a  strong  interest  in  the  subjects.    The  visitor, 
especially  if  he  admires  his  own  conversational  pow- 
ers, enjoys  the  impression  he  makes.    The  promoter  is 
gently  feeling  him.     If  he  be  "soft  and  easy,"  this 
preliminary  to  the  main  consideration  lasts  but  a  short 
time.     "With  a  subtle  influence  the  master  gradually 
arouses  his  companion's  enthusiasm.     The  latter 's  at- 
tention becomes  keener  and  his  tone  more  and  more 
animated.     Then  the  promoter  gives  a  few.  of  his 
opinions  on  various  matters  in  a  sharp,  energetic,  con- 
vincing tone, — views  that  he  knows  will  be  in  perfect 
accord  with  his  patient's.     The  next  step  indirectly 
proceeds  to  business.    The  operator  makes  a  few  state- 
ments in  a  confidential,  confiding  way,  especially  in- 
viting his  companion  to  make  a  careful  investigation 
of  the  proposed  enterprise.    He  even  urges  this  point, 
full  well  knowing  what  effect  the  influence  of  trust- 
ing his  word  ^vill  produce.     Then  in  a  quick,  ener- 
getic, business-like  tone  he  starts  in  with  a  graphic 
outline  of  the  advantages  of  his  scheme.     He  com- 
mences at  the  beginning,  giving  a  short  sjTiopsis  of 
the  history  to  date.    Figures  are  used,  carefully,  con- 
cisely and  with  an  appearance  of  accuracy.    As  slowly 
but  surely  he  increases  the  flow  of  his  magnetic  power 
his  voice  becomes  stronger,  more  emphatic ;    his  ges- 
tures increase  in  number ;  his  eyes  acquire  a  sharper, 
keener,  more  intense  look;    his  mind  appears  to  be 
working   at   race-horse   pace.     The   patient   sits   en- 
thralled, slowly  but  surely  falling  into  his  toils.   The 
hypnotic  influence  grows  stronger  and  stronger,  by 
degrees  rising  to  a  maximum.       The  talker  at  the 
zenith  of  his  power,  strains  every  force  of  his  na- 
ture till  his  whole  being  is  a  mass  of  vitalized  en- 
ergy. 

The   patient   submits   to   the    operation,    pays   his 
check  for  a  goodly  number  of  shares,  and  departs. 


144  Clever  Business  Sketches 

The   promoter  smiles   complacently   and  goes  for  a 
$1.50  dinner.     lie  is  worth  it. 

No,  the  promoter  is  not  a  detriment  to  society. 
Despite  all  the  damage  and  WTeckage  for  which  he  is 
responsible,  a  vast  deal  of  good  is  accomplished.  He 
gives  energy,  enterprise  and  life  to  his  surroundings. 
He  starts  the  people,  the  money  and  the  very  blood 
to  circulating.  His  guiding  principle  is  action ;  quick, 
vigorous,  powerful;  action  that  works  for  large  re- 
sults. May  he  live  long,  grow  fat,  increase  in  brain 
power,  give  birth  to  a  conscience  and  die  a  righteous 
man. 


BROTHERS. 


BY  S.   ROLAND  HALL. 


"Collins,"  said  the  editor,  "we  ought  to  get  a 
statement  of  some  kind  from  Ralph  Pierson." 

The  reporter  looked  up. 

"He  has  refused  positively  to  say  anything;  I  can 
try  again  if  you  like,  but  I'm  afraid  there  is  not 
much  chance  of  getting  him  to  talk," 

It  was  an  important  affair  from  a  news  point  of 
view,  and  Collins,  with  instructions  from  his  chief, 
started  for  the  jail. 

For  months  there  had  been  trouble  at  the  college. 
First,  it  was  a  division  among  the  students  on  account 
of  the  newly-elected  president.  Then  there  had  been 
some  exasperating  cases  of  hazing.  The  climax  came 
with  a  series  of  thefts.  Time  after  time  the  mail  box 
of  the  college  was  opened  and  letters  containing  con- 
siderable sums  of  money  stolen.  Detectives  were 
finally  put  to  work. 

The  merchants  with  whom  the  students  dealt  were 
put  on  Avatch  for  marked  money.  On  the  day  after  a 
decoy  letter  was  mailed  to  the  college  building  and 
stolen,  a  dealer  telephoned  the  detectives  that  he  had 
received  one  of  the  marked  bills. 

It  was  not  difficult  to  identify  the  student,  and 
young  Pierson  was  arrested. 

He  seemed  greatly  agitated  when  confronted  with 
the  evidence  against  him,  but  refused  to  explain  how 
the  money  came  in  his  possession. 

He  was  a  bright  student,  of  good  family,  and  had 
an  excellent  record.  He  w^as  held  in  high  esteem  by 
the  faculty  and  by  the  entire  college. 

The  affair  was  the  talk  of  the  town.  IMany  of  the 
students  did  not  believe  Pierson  guilty  of  the  theft 
and  declared  he  was  merely  shielding  some  one  else. 

Pierson  was  taken  to  the  president,  who  talked  with 
him  for  an  hour.     But  the  boy  refused  to  make  any 

145 


146  Clever  Business  Sketches 

explanation.     lie  would  say  nothing  except  that  he 
was  innocent  of  wrong. 

The  president  shared  the  belief  of  many  of  the  stu- 
dents that  Pierson  was  not  guilty  of  the  theft.  He 
was  loath  to  have  him  tried,  but  there  was  no  alter- 
native. It  was  but  justice  to  the  college  that  the 
guilty  person  be  convicted.  Pierson  acknowledged 
that  he  had  given  the  dealer  the  marked  note  and  sur- 
rendered without  question  another  found  on  him. 

The  day  the  student  was  committed  to  jail  for  trial 
the  president  addressed  the  college,  pleading  if  there 
was  anyone  whom  Pierson  was  shielding,  or  anyone 
who  knew  more  about  the  thefts,  that  he  come  out  and 
save  the  reputation  of  the  young  man. 

It  was  the  day  after  the  president's  appeal  that 
Collins  was  sent  by  his  editor  to  get  a  statement. 

Collins  walked  into  the  jailer's  office  and  asked  per- 
mission to  interview  the  student. 

"I  can  not  let  you,"  the  jailer  said;  "he  doesn't 
want  to  talk  with  anybody." 

"Well,  just  let  me  speak  to  him,"  suggested  the  re- 
porter. 

The  jailer  refused. 

"Where  have  you  got  him?"  asked  Collins  casu- 
ally. 

"In  the  first  cell  of  the  second  floor,"  said  the 
jailer. 

Collins  chatted  a  while  and  went  on  to  the  college 
grounds.  As  he  passed  the  jail  his  eye  took  in  the 
wall  and  the  windows  of  the  second  floor.  He  had  his 
orders  to  interview  the  student  and  he  purposed  doing 
so  if  possible. 

The  college  did  not  yield  much  that  was  news.  The 
president  sent  word  that  he  knew  nothing  more  to 
say.  The  affair  was  the  talk  of  all  the  students,  but 
most  of  the  details  had  already  been  published. 

Collins,  however,  struck  something  new.  He 
learned  that  Pierson  was  in  love  with  the  sister  of 
Randolph  Wagner,  a  classmate  who  lived  in  the  town. 
That  suggested  an  idea,  and  he  immediately  sought 
Wagner.    But  he  was  not  to  be  found.    He  lived  in  the 


Brothers  147 

East  End  and  Collins  resolved  to  go  there  after  he  had 
carried  out  his  plan  for  seeing  Pierson. 

It  was  almost  dai'k  when  he  started  baek  to  the  jail. 
The  building  stood  next  to  the  river  and  was  Hanked 
by  a  hill  and  several  unimproved  lots.  Collins  sat  on 
the  river  bank  and  waited  until  the  lights  of  the  town 
had  been  burning  an  hour.  Then  he  walked  cautiously 
to  the  rear  of  the  jail. 

By  resting  a  plank  against  the  wall,  he  got  his 
hands  on  top  and  easily  raised  himself.  When  he 
stood  on  the  wall  his  face  was  almost  on  a  level  with 
the  window  of  the  student's  cell. 

Collins  whistled,  but  there  was  no  sound  from  with- 
in. He  called  softly  with  no  better  results.  Then  he 
noticed  something  dangling  from  the  window.  His 
curiosity  was  aroused  and,  after  satisfying  himself 
that  he  could  get  back,  he  dropped  -down  inside  the 
jail  yard  and  found  a  rope,  made  of  a  blanket,  sus- 
pended from  the  Avindow. 

The  mystery  deepened,  but  Collins  was  determined 
to  solve  it,  and  he  drew  himself  up  by  the  rope  until 
he  could  look  into  the  cell.  The  window  framework 
of  iron  had  been  wrenched  loose  at  the  side  and  bent 
around  until  there  was  room  enough  for  the  body  of 
a  man.  As  soon  as  his  eyes  became  accustomed  to  the 
darkness,  Collins  saw  that  the  cell  was  unoccupied. 
Pierson  had  broken  jail ! 

The  reporter  whistled  softly  to  himself  and  slid 
hastily  down  the  rope.  Then  he  climbed  over  the  wall 
and  ran  across  the  lot  like  another  escaped  prisoner. 

Twenty  minutes  later  he  was  in  the  East  End  near 
the  home  of  Pierson 's  sweetheart.  He  concealed  him- 
self at  the  back  of  the  house  where  he  could  watch  the 
doors  and  windows. 

He  remained  there  some  time  and  had  almost  con- 
cluded his  theory  was  wrong,  when  a  door  opened  and 
he  saw  a  girl  step  out  and  go  across  to  the  opposite 
side  of  the  yard.  A  moment  later  she  and  the  fugitive 
student  walked  «lowly  toward  the  reporter  and  stood 
together  a  few  yards  away. 


148  Clever  Business  Sketches 

For  some  minutes  the  girl  said  nothing.  She  was 
resting  her  head  on  his  shoulder  and  sobbing.  Pier- 
son  broke  the  silence. 

"Be  brave,  sweetheart,"  he  said;  "don't  you  be- 
lieve in  me?" 

"But  it  is  so  dreadful,"  she  sobbed,  "and  every- 
body in  town  is  talking  about  you. ' ' 

"You  believe  me  when  I  say  I  am  innocent,  don't 
you?" 

"You  know  I  do,  but  why  won 't  you  explain  it  all ?" 

"Because,  my  dear,  I  would  be  breaking  my  promise 
to  another." 

Collins  leaned  forwai'd  and  strained  his  cars. 

The  student  went  on.  "1  would  disgrace  someone 
else — disgrace  him  and  all  his  people.  If  he  owns  up, 
it  is  all  right,  but  I  cannot  break  my  Avord. " 

The  girl  raised  hor  head  and  spoke  indignantly. 
"The  coward!  Tell  me  who  it  is  and  I  will  go  to  him 
and  make  him  confess." 

"I  can  not  tell  you,"  he  replied  firmly,  "I  can  not 
tell  anyone.  I  have  given  my  word  and  I  will  not 
break  it." 

Collins  did  not  feel  he  had  a  right  to  listen  longer. 
lie  crept  away  quietly  and  watched  from  a  distance 
until  he  saw  the  girl  return  to  the  house.  Then  he 
kept  in  sight  of  Pierson  long  enough  to  be  sure  he 
was  returning  to  the  jail. 

Of  course,  it  Avas  plain  enough,  thought  Collins. 
This  girl's  brother  was  at  the  bottom  of  the  whole  bus- 
iness. He  did  not  believe  Pierson  would  shield  any- 
one else  when  it  would  mean  his  own  ruin,  but  he  was 
in  love  with  the  girl  and  wanted  to  spare  her  family 
the  disgrace.  Wagner  had  probably  passed  the  decoy 
bills  to  Pierson  in  payment  of  a  loan.  "Whew,"  said 
the  reporter  under  his  breath,  "what  a  story!" 

When  he  reached  the  jail  again  and  lifted  himself 
on  the  wall,  the  rope  was  no  longer  there. 

Pierson  came  to  the  window  when  he  heard  the 
whistle.  "Who  is  it?"  he  asked,  after  a  moment's 
hesitation. 


Brothers  149 

"It's  Collins;  of  the  News,  you  know,"  said  the 
reporter,  speaking  cautiously.  "I  want  to  talk  with 
you  about  this  atl'air  of  yours." 

"I  cannot  say  anything  about  it,"  replied  the  stu- 
dent. 

"But  you'll  say  something,  won't  you?"  returned 
the  reporter,  encouragingly.  "Lots  of  people  believe 
you  are  not  guilty  of  this  thing,  and  it  looks  like  bad 
business  to  ruin  your  reputation  if  you  can  clear  the 
affair  up." 

"I  cannot  do  it,"  said  the  boy,  wearily;  "1  wish  I 
could." 

"Look  here,  Pierson,"  said  the  reporter,  "there's 
no  use  of  beating  around  the  bush.  I  know  where 
you  have  been  tonight,  and  I  have  the  whole  thing 
sifted  down.  Young  Wagner  is  the  fellow  who  got 
the  money  and  you  are  simply  keeping  quiet  for  the 
sake  of  the  girl  and  her  people." 

There  was  no  reply.  ' 

"Come,  now,"  said  Collins,  "isn't  what  I've  said  a 
fact?  I  was  here  about  eight  o'clock  and  you  were 
gone   and  I  followed  you." 

There  was  still  no  reply  and  Collins  felt  somewhat 
uncomfortable. 

' '  Of  course,  it  is  my  business  to  get  at  the  bottom  of 
this  thing,"  he  added,  apologetically,  "but  I  don't 
want  to  let  out  your  secret.  Now,  if  you  will  just  tell 
me  that  you  are  shielding  some  other  fellow  who 
passed  the  bills  on  you,  you  need  not  give  his  name. 
I  will  go  ahead,  but  I  won't  write  what  has  happened 
tonight.  People  can  form  their  own  opinions  as  to 
who  the  fellow  is.    Will  you  do  that?" 

"No,  I  will  not,"  said  the  boy,  more  firmly  than 
ever.  "And  I  want  to  ask  you  one  thing.  If  you 
were  in  my  place  and  I  were  in  yours,  would  you  like 
for  me  to  do  what  you  are  going  to  do  ? " 

Collins  hesitated.  "Well,  I  don't  know,"  he  said, 
evasively  ;  "but  that  isn't  the  point.  I  have  been  sent 
to  get  at  the  truth  and  I  owe  a  duty  to  my  paper.  It 
isn't  what  I  want  to  do.  I  sympathize  with  you  and 
I  respect  your  motives,  but  I  think  you  are  foolish  to 


150  'Clever  Business  Sketches 

stay  in  this  trouble  when  a  few  words  might  get  you 
out." 

"That  will  be  all  right,"  said  the  boy.  "They  will 
find  out  in  a  few  days  that  I  wasn't  even  there  the 
night  the  money  was  taken."  He  suddenly  broke  off, 
and  spoke  again  with  feeling:  "Did  you  ever  love  a 
girl?" 

"Yes,"  said  Collins,  "1  think  I  have." 

"Well,  if  you  have  followed  me  tonight,  I  want  you 
to  think  what  a  girl  is  to  a  fellow  before  you  do  any- 
thing." 

That  ended  the  interview. 

Collins  dropped  back  over  the  wall  and  started  for 
the  News  office. 

A  few  lights  were  still  gleaming  from  homes  along 
the  avenue.  As  he  passed  one  large  house  in  a  yard 
back  from  the  street,  he  could  hear  a  girl  singing.  It 
was  a  love  song,  and  her  voice  was  fresh  and  sweet. 
The  soft,  mellow  notes  of  the  piano  and  the  dreamy 
song  carried  the  man  back.  He  remembered  the  time 
when  in  his  ])oyish  love  he  would  have  died  to  save 
Her  good  name.    He  listened  until  the  girl  ceased. 

The  editor  looked  up  as  Collins  entered.  "Well," 
he  said,  with  an  inquiring  look. 

"It's  no  use,"  replied  the  reporter,  shaking  his 
head.  "I  did  my  best,  but  he  won't  talk.  I  guess 
he  is  a  fool,  but  v«iinehow  I  admire  his  grit." 


CELESTINE  AND  CORALIE. 

^  BY  MONTAGUE  GLASS. 

Abe  Potash,  senior  member  of  Potash  &  Perl- 
mutter,  sat  ill  tlic  private  ol'lice  at  the  rear  of  the  firm 's 
commodious  salesroom,  aud  indulged  in  a  frugal  lunch 
of  zwieback  and  coffee,  which  his  office  boy  had  pro- 
cured for  him  at  an  adjacent  bakery.  He  first 
soaked  the  toast-like  cakes  in  the  coffee,  and  then  ab- 
sorbed them  by  what  might  be  termed  a  process  of  in- 
halation. Thus  employed,  he  failed  to  notice  the  en- 
trance of  Louis  Mintz,  a  manufacturer's  drummer. 

"irio,  Abe,"  Louis  cried,  "what  are  you  doing? 
Eating  your  lunch?" 

"A  question ! "  Abe  snorted.  He  plied  a  paper  nap- 
kin vigorously,  to  remove  the  traces  of  soaked  zwie- 
back.    "What  did  you  think  I  was  doing?" 

"Well,"  said  Louis,  "it  looked  like  a  face  massage 
at  first." 

Potash  frowned. 

"Louis,  please,"  he  protested,  "do  me  the  favor.  I 
ain't  in  no  humor  for  jokes." 

Louis  patted  him  on  the  shoulder.  "What's  the 
grouch  now,  Abe?"  he  asked. 

"No  grouch  at  all,  Louis,"  Abe  replied.  "Just  the 
contrary.  I'm  feeling  good.  Look  in  the  store, 
Louis."  He  pointed  through  the  door  toward  the 
salesroom.  It  was  empty  save  for  three  or  four  of 
his  employes,  who  were  listlessly  arranging  the  racks 
of  cloaks.  "See  the  customers,  Louis,  falling  over 
each  other.     Ain't  it?" 

"You've  got  no  kick  coming,"  Louis  retorted; 
"your  expenses  ain't  high." 

"No,  Louis,  there  I  give  you  right.    My  expenses 
*   ain  't  high, ' '  he  admitted.    * '  I  guess  zwieback  and  cof- 
fee don't  cost  no  five  dollars,  Louis."    He  paused  for 
one  reflective  moment.     "But  Perlmutter,"  he  con- 
tinued in  tones  of  bitter  profundity,  "he  eats  zwie- 

151 


152  Clever  Business  Sketches 

back,  too,  Louis.  Believe  mo,  Louis,  if  zwieback  were 
a  dollar  a  piece  then  he  eats  'em.  But  zwieback  at  a 
cent  a  piece,  Louis,  is  poisou  for  Perlmutter.  He  das- 
sent  touch  'em." 

"No?"  Louis  ejaculated. 

"No,  siree,  Louis,"  Abe  said  emphatically.  "Comes 
twelve, — one  o'clock,  ]\lawruss  Perlmutter  gets  anx- 
ious. He  got  to  go  to  lunch.  But  mind  you,  Louis, 
he  dassent  go  alone.  That's  poisonous,  too,  Louis.  He 
waits  for  a  customer  to  come  in,  and  takes  him  along, 
Louis.  Then,"  Abe  concluded  mournflly,  "he  gives 
a  memorandum  to  the  book-keeper  and  right  away 
ten  dollars  goes  into  the  expense  aecoimt. " 

"Oh,  come  now,"  Louis  protested,  "Morris  Perl- 
mutter's  a  good  fellow." 

"Sure,  he's  a  good  fellow,"  Abe  agreed,  "with  my 
money,  Louis." 

He  drained  the  cold  sip  of  coffee,  and  cleared  his 
throat  with  a  great  rasping  noise. 

"How  long  you  done  business  with  us,  Louis?"  he 
asked. 

"About  three  years,"  Louis  replied,  "as  long  as 
you've  been  partners." 

"Then  you  don't  know  Mawruss  when  he  was  in 
partnership  with  Sol  Finkelbein,  in  the  millinery  busi- 
ness?" 

"No,"  Louis  replied,  "that's  out  of  my  line." 

"Well,  they  wasn't  together  long,"  Abe  went  on. 
"Quick  work,  Louis.  Six  months  was  enough  for 
Finkelbein.  You  don't  mean  to  tell  me  you  ain't 
heard  how  it  happened?" 

"Go  ahead,  Abe,"  said  Louis,  "and  get  it  off  your 
mind." 

"Well,  it  was  like  this.  About  five  years  ago  Sol 
Finkelbein  comes  to  ]\Iawruss  and  says  he  got  five 
thousand  dollars,  and  makes  a  suggestion  that  they 
should  go  as  partners  together  in  the  millinery  busi- 
ness. Mawruss  says  I'll  think  it  over.  He  needs  to 
think  it  over  bad,  Louis,  especially  as  he  only  has  two 
thousand  himself,  Louis.    So  he  excuses  himself,  and 


C destine  and  Coralie  1^3 

goes  ro'ind  the  corner,  nnd  comes  right  back,  and 
says  all  right,  he's  concluded  to  acci'pt  the  oU'er. 

"Now,  Mavvruss  don't  get  them  tony  ideas  of  his 
yesterday,  Louis.  He's  had  'em  for  years  already; 
so  when  it  comes  down  to  arranging  the  details  with 
Finkelbein,  IMawruss  gets  busy  right  away. 

"  'We  want  to  do  a  high  class  retail  business. 
Ain't  it?'  he  tells  Finkelbein. 

"  'Sure,'  says  Finkelbein. 

"  'Then  here's  the  way  to  go  about  it,'  Mawruss 
explains,  and  he  fixes  up  a  scheme  like  this:  They're 
to  hire  a  store  on  Thirty-third  street,  and  Finkelbein 
he  says  all  right.  The  rent  ain't  much,  Louis,  only 
five  hundred  a  month, — that  ain't  much  for  Maw- 
russ,— and  so  they're  ready  to  fix  up  about  the  firm 
name. 

"  'Finkelbein  and  Perlmuttcr, '  Finkelbein  sug- 
gests, but  ]\Iawruss  don't  like  that  at  all. 

"  'Well,'  says  Finkelbein,  'make  it  Perlmutter  and 
Finkelbein. ' 

"  'No  good,'  Mawruss  tells  him.  It  don't  take  Sol 
Finkelbein  long  to  propose  the  Royal  Millinery  Com- 
pany, the  Paris  Millinery  Store,  and  such  like  names, 
and  when  he's  all  through,  Mawruss  goes  on  shaking 
his  head  for  a  minute  or  so  longer,  and  then  starts  in : 

"  'No,  Sol,'  he  says,  'you're  wrong.  I've  thought 
this  matter  over  a  whole  lot,  and  there  aint'  nothing 
to  it  but  this.' 

' '  He  takes  a  sheet  of  paper,  and  draws  a  square  on 
it,  like  the  front  of  a  plate  glass  window,  and  right 
across  it,  diagonally  from  left  to  right,  he  puts  Celes- 
tine  and  Coralie.  Then  in  the  upper  left  hand  corner 
Hats,  and  away,  way  down  in  the  lower  right  hand 
corner,  21  Buc  d'Hauteville,  Paris. 

"Finkelbein  takes  one  look,  and  breathes  hard 
through  his  nose.  He  sees  it's  the  real  thing,  Louis, 
and  he's  tickled  to  death.  Well,  lie  don't  say  noth- 
ing for  some  moments,   and  then  he   gets   an  idea. 

"  'See  here,  Mawruss,'  he  asks,  'am  I  Celestine  or 
Coralie  ? ' 

"  'A  question!'  Mawruss  says.     'Don't  you  worry 


154  Clever  Business  Sketches 

3'oursclf  about  such  trifles.  You  ain't  Coralie,  and  I 
ain't  Cclestine,  but  you  and  me,  or  me  and  you,  are 
Celestine  and  Coralie.' 

"So  Sol  and  Mawruss  they  go  to  work  and  buy 
goods,  and  open  up  a  swell  place,  and  they  do  a  nice 
business,  Louis.  They  got  a  couple  of  good  sales- 
women, who  call  the  customers  'Mad-damn,'  and  they 
done  an  elegant  spring  trade.  They  got  to  do  it, 
Louis,  because  Finkelbein's  a  married  man,  and  needs 
to  niaki'  a  good  living  to  support  his  wife. 

"You  know  Sol  Finkelbein's  wife,  Louis?  No? 
Well,  that's  old  Israel  l*lonsky's  daughter,  and  you 
bet,  Louis,  she  ain't  got  a  nicer  temper  than  the  old 
man.  Believe  me,  Louis,  my  Rosie  is  a  good  talker 
when  she  gets  going,  but  Beckie  Plonsky,  that's  a 
good  talker,  y 'understand.  I  hear  from  Mawruss  that 
all  the  time  him  and  Finkelbein  was  in  business,  she's 
kicking  good  about  the  firm  name. 

"  'Ain't  you  two  crazy?'  she  says,  'two  grown  men, 
to  be  making  monkeys  of  yourselves  with  such  names 
as  Coralie  and  Celestine.  Ain't  Finkelbein  and  Perl- 
mutter  good  enough?' 

"But  Sol  Finkelbein  don't  say  nothing.  He  knows 
thfy  done  a  nice  business  with  them  names  of  Celes- 
tine and  Coralie,  and  that  Paris  address  makes  a  big 
hit  with  the  women.  Another  thing,  Louis,  every 
young  fellow  that  passes  that  store,  looks  at  the  names 
Celestine  and  Coralie,  and  shoots  out  his  cufifs.  Then 
he  walks  back  again  and  rubbers  in,  Louis,  but  he 
don't  see  nothing,  of  course,  for  them  heavy  dutchess 
lace  curtains  that  IMawruss  hangs  in  the  door  and 
window,  hide  the  view. 

"Well,  Louis,  them  names  was  certainly  one  big  ad, 
and  Mawruss  he  uses  'em  on  his  letter  heads,  bill  heads 
arxl  cards.  Why,  he  even  has  the  book-keeper  sign 
his  l)usiness  letters  that  way.  That's  the  same  book- 
keeper we  got  now,  Louis,  Miss  Cohen.  D'ye  know 
her? 

"Well,  one  day  he  tells  the  book-keeper  to  write  to 
Jake  (V)smin,  drummer  for  Magnus  and  SchifT,  and 
ask  him  why  he  don't  drop  in  to  show  his  samples. 


Celestme  and  Coralie  1^5 

So,  Miss  Cohen — the  book-keeper,  y'know — she  writes 
in  her  ovvu  haudwritiiig, 

"  'Dear  Jake: 

"  'Why  is  it  you  don't  drop  in  to  see  us  no  more? 
Have  we  done  you  something?  We  shall  be  in  Thurs- 
day at  two.  Your  friends, 

"  'Celestine  and  Coralie.' 

"Mawruss  mails  the  letter,  and  on  Thursday  at  two* 
he  and  Sol  Finkelbein  are  sitting  in  the  back  office, 
when  they  hear  shouts  sonicthing  awful  in  the  store. 
They  go  out,  and  what  should  they  see  but  Jake  Cos- 
min's  wife.  Believe  me,  Louis,  my  Rosie  is  a  good 
talker,  and  Beckie  Plonsky,  Abe  Finkelstein's  wife,  is 
a  good  talker,  ain't  it,  but  Mrs.  Cosmin  that's  an  ele- 
gant A  number  one  talker,  Louis,  and  you  bet  she 
raised  the  devil.  Camille  in  the  theayter  was  nothing. 
What  she  didn't  call  them  two  Coralie  and  Celestine ! 
Hussies  was  the  least. 

"Well,  Mawruss  he  tries  to  get  in  a  word  once  in 
a  while,  but  it  ain't  no  use. 

"Finally  she  says:  'Where  are  they,  them  two, 
them  Celestine  and  Coralie?' 

"She  stops  a  moment  for  somebody  to  answer,  and 
Abe  Finkelbein  tries  to  explain. 

"  'I  am  Celestine,'  he  says,  'and  this  gentleman 
here  is  Coralie.' 

"But  you  know  INIawruss.  He  ain't  happy  to  let 
nobody  do  the  talking  but  himself. 

"  'Pardon  me,'  he  says  polite,  like  a  doctor  or  a 
lawyer,  'Pardon  me,  madam,  it's  all  a  mistake.  Ce- 
lestine and  Coralie  ain't  real  women.  They're  just 
dummies. ' 

"  'Dummies,  they  are!'  Mrs.  Cosmin  shouts.  'Can 
dummies  write  letters?' 

"Then  she  pulls  out  the  letter  that  the  book-keeper 
wrote  to  Jake  Cosmin,  and  waves  it  around,  shrieking 
something  awful  again. 

"Well,  Sol  Finkelbein  he  puts  his  hand  on  her 
shoulder. 

"  'Mrs.  Cosmin,'  he  begins,  'I  give  you  my  word  of 
honor  as  a  gentleman ' 


15®  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"He  don't  get  any  further,  though,  Louis,  for  just 
as  he  says  this,  in  comes  Beelcy  Plousky,  Sol's  wife, 
and  she  sees  Sol  -with  his  hand  on  Mrs.  Cosmin's 
shoulder.  Oo-ee,  1  tell  you,  Louis,  that  was  a  row. 
AYhat  Mrs.  Cosmin  says  about  Coralie  and  Celestine, 
Bec'kie  Plonsky  says  about  ]\Irs.  Cosmin,  and  the 
things  that  ]\Irs.  Cosmin  forgets  to  say,  Beckie  Plon- 
sky remembers  yet.  The  next  thing  you  know,  there 's 
hair  pins  all  over  the  store,  and  Mawruss  he  gets  a 
scratch  down  one  side  of  his  face,  I  bet  you,  you  can 
see  the  mark  of  it  yet. 

"Well,  they  manage  somehow  to  separate  the  two 
women.  ]\Iawruss,  he  grabs  ahold  of  ]\Irs.  Finkelbein. 
and  Sol  he  is  hustling  ]\Irs.  Cosmin  out  of  the  store, 
and  having  a  hard  time  of  it  too,  for  she's  got  a  whole 
lot  more  to  say  about  Coralie  and  Celestine,  as  well 
as  about  Beckie  Plonsky.  But  Sol  he's  just  getting 
her  through  the  door  when  Jake  Cosmin  arrives.  He 
don't  ask  no  questions,  but  seeing  his  wife  fighting 
with  Sol  Finkelbein,  he  makes  for  Sol  a  couple  of  blue- 
eyes,  and  otherwise  nearly  kills  him. 

"That's  all,  Louis.  The  next  week  Sol  says  he's 
satisfied  to  lose  a  couple  of  thousand  dollars,  and  of- 
fers Mawruss  five  thousand  for  his  share  of  the  busi- 
ness. They  finally  settle  for  fifty-five  hundred,  and 
if  you  don't  believe  it  what  I  tell  you,  go  and  look  on 
the  south  side  of  Thirt3^-third  street. 

"The  hats  is  there,  and  the  21  Rue  d'Hauteville, 
Paris,  is  there,  but  Celestine  and  Coralie  ain't  there. 
It  is  S.  Finkelbein  now." 


AHEAD  OP  DATE. 

The  Bookkeeper  who  looked  into  the  future,  and 
what  he  saw. 

BY  EDWARD  BLOMEYER. 

"Seventy-sevent'  floor,"  announced  the  elevator 
boy,  as  the  car  slowed  to  a  stop.  Then,  to  his  solitary 
passenger,  "Step  out,  mister;  dis  is  as  high  as  I  go. 
Dere's  de  door  you  want,  right  in  front  of  you — dat's 
de  visitors'  room. 

"Jest  ask  fer  Mr.  Cummins,"  ho  added,  as  the  ele- 
vator door  slammed  shut  with  a  bang. 

Wholly  dazed,  and  only  partially  conscious  of  his 
movements,  George  Thorpe  stepped  from  the  elevator, 
his  mind  busily  searching  for  an  explanation  of  his 
surroundings.  Without  knowledge  of  how  or  w^hen  he 
had  come  there,  he  had  found  himself,  a  few  minutes 
before,  in  the  lobby  of  the  entrance  to  a  towering  of- 
fice building,  pushed  and  elbowed  in  a  dozen  different 
directions  by  a  hurrj'ing  crowd  of  busy  people.  In 
his  confusion,  and  more  to  get  away  from  the  rush 
and  scramble  than  for  any  other  reason,  he  had  heeded 
the  elevator  boy's  call  of  "Going  up?"  and  had  en- 
tered the  car  without  a  thought  as  to  his  destination 
or  his  actions  after  his  arrival  there. 

Now,  he  looked  about  himself  in  surprised  wonder. 
The  scene  was  one  totally  strange  and  unfamiliar  to 
him ;  he  was  unable  to  even  hazard  a  guess  as  to 
where  he  was,  or  why  he  was  there.  Then  his  per- 
plexed eyes  fell  upon  the  sign  on  the  door  to  which 
he  had  been  directed.     It  read: 

AMERICO-EUROPEAN   AERIAL 

TRANSPORTATION  CO. 

VISITOR'S  ROOM. 

"Well,"  muttered  the  young  man  bewilderedly  to 
himself,  "since  I'm  into  it  this  far,  I  might  as  well 
go  the  limit.  Guess  the  elevator  boy  knew^  w^hat  he 
was  talking  about ;   anyway — here  goes ! ' ' 

157 


158  Clever  Business  Sketches 

He  opened  the  door  and  walked  in. 

A  young  fellow  who  had  ])een  seated  at  a  desk  in  the 
room  came  forward  and  smilingly  greeted  the  visitor. 
"How  are  you?"  he  inquired  pleasantly,  "I'm  glad  to 
meet  you ;  my  name  is  Cummins — Andrew  Cummins. 
Will  you  sit  down,  Mr. ?" 

"Thorpe — George  Thorpe,"  supplied  the  visitor, 
taking  the  protlercd  scat. 

"Stockholder,  I  presume?"  asked  Cummins. 

"Well,  no — not  exactly — "  stammered  Thorpe, 
"you  see " 

"Oh!  that's  all  right,"  cut  in  the  other.  "You're 
welcome,  anyway.  I  suppose  you  want  to  see  the  of- 
fices?" 

"Well,  if  you're  not  too  busy " 

"Not  at  all,  INIr.  Thorpe;  I  am  employed  for  just 
that  purpose.  Come;  if  you're  ready,  we'll  start 
right  now.    Just  step  this  way  if  you  please." 

As  the  astonished  young  man  followed  his  guide, 
his  mind,  dazed  as  it  was  by  the  recent  happenings, 
still  retained  enough  of  its  receptiveness  to  note  the 
things,  both  queer  and  curious,  which  presented  them- 
selves at  every  turn.  Imitating  Cummins,  he  stepped 
on  to  a  moving  platform  which  ran  rapidly  but  noise- 
lessly along  the  great  hall.  Before  a  large  door,  high 
and  wide,  the  guide  stepped  off  and  pressed  a  button. 
The  door  swung  open  without  a  sound,  and  they  en- 
tered a  long,  high  ceilinged  room. 

"Our  correspondence  department,"  announced 
Cummins. 

Four  rows  of  large,  flat-topped  desks  extended  the 
length  of  the  room.  At  all  of  them  were  seated  clerks, 
busily  engaged  with  their  work.  The  visitor  was  at 
once  impressed  by  the  comparative  stillness  of  the 
room,  from  which  there  came  no  clatter  or  banging  of 
typewriter  keys,  but  only  the  low,  subdued  hum  of  a 
hundred  softly  modulated  voices. 

"Typewriters  in  another  room,  I  suppose,"  he  re- 
marked. 

The  guide  grinned.  "Watch  the  man  at  that  desk 
there,"  he  answered. 


Ahead  of  Date 


159 


The  clerk  hastily  scanned  a  letter  which  he  picked 
from  a  tray.  Then  he  took  up  a  long  tube,  having  on 
its  end  an  object  not  unlike  the  mouthpiece  of  a  toy 
horn.  This  he  placed  to  his  lips,  and  into  it  he  dic- 
tated what  was  presumably  an  answer  to  the  letter  in 
his  hand.  The  dietati<m  completed,  he  turned  a  small 
crank  which  projected  from  the  side  of  his  desk,  and 
a  sheet  of  letter  paper,  partly  covered  with  type- 
written matter,  slipped  out  from  a  slit  in  a  slightly 


The  Manager,  a  Century  Hence" 


raised  portion  of  the  desk  top.  An  envelope  followed. 
The  clerk,  first  pressing  his  right  thumb  on  a  handy 
rubber  stamp  pad,  made  an  impression  on  the  letter 
sheet.  Then,  with  its  envelope,  the  sheet  was  dropped 
into  another  opening  in  the  side  of  the  desk. 

"What  did  he  do?"  asked  the  perplexed  visitor. 

"That  sheet  contained  the  letter  he  had  just  dic- 
tated," explained  the  guide,  "it  is  now  on  its  way 
through  the  compressed  air  tube  to  the  general  post- 
office,  after  having  been  folded,  inserted  in  the  en- 
velope, and  sealed,  by  machinery  beneath  the  floor. 
The  tube  into  which  he  talked  leads  to  a  phono-writer, 
a  combination  of  the  old  style  phonograph  and  type- 
writer, which  received,  recorded,  and  type-wrote  the 
letter  as  it  was  dictated.  A  copy  of  the  letter  is  now 
down  in  the  filing  room." 


160 


Clever  Business  Sketches 


"But  he  didn't  sign  the  letter." 

"Oh,  yes,  he  did !  Didn't  you  notice  him  impress  it 
with  his  thumb?  His  thumb  print  is  a  legal  signa- 
ture. However,  for  convenient  identification,  he  wears 
a  rubber  ring  which  prints  his  name  with  the  thumb 
mark.  Of  course,  in  case  of  dispute,  the  thumb  print 
tells  the  tale.     Just  step  this  way,  Mr.  Thorpe." 


•'Ahead  of  Date" 

As  he  turned  to  follow  the  young  man,  Thorpe's  be- 
wildered eyes  rested  on  a  mannnoth  calendar  hung 
high  on  the  wall  at  the  far  end  of  the  room.  The 
blood  came  to  his  head  with  a  rush,  and  his  eyes  al- 
most burst  from  their  sockets,  for  he  read  in  bold 
black  print: 

JULY  20TH,   2008. 

"The  accounting  department,"  announced  Cum- 
mins. 


Ahead  of  Date  161 

Thorpe  round  him.solf  looking  into  a  largo  square 
room,  with  handsome  bcanu'd  jui'tal  ceilings.  Through 
the  outer  walls,  which  were  of  thick  glass  almost 
opaque,  the  room  w^as  flooded  with  a  soft,  although 
ample,  light.  To  the  young  man's  surprise,  the  high 
desks  and  stools,  with  rows  of  backs  bent  over  pon- 
derous ledgers — the  usual  scene  in  the  ])ook-kc(>ping 
room  of  a  large  concern — were  absent.  Instead,  a 
number  of  men  sat  at  low  desks  comfortable  looking 
but  curiously  shaped,  which  were  scattered  about  the 
floor,  and  from  ench  desk  came  a  subdui^d  metallic 
clatter  not  unlike  the  sound  of  a  typewriting  machine. 
The  scene  was  one  of  complete  order  and  contentment. 

"Where  are  the  book-keepers?"  he  asked. 

The  guide  laughed.  "In  museums,  I  suppose,"  he 
answered.  "There  are  no  book-keepers  now — instead, 
we  have  'mechanicants. '  Since  the  Penrose  law  of 
1952,  providing  that  no  person  should  keep  a  set  of 
books  for  another  person  without  a  certificate  of  abil- 
ity from  the  government,  the  old-time  book-keeper  has 
passed  away.  It  is  merely  another  case  of  the  survival 
of  the  fittest.  The  mechanicant  of  today  must  not 
only  be  an  expert  in  accounting,  but  must  pass  an  ex- 
amination as  a  machinist  as  well,  as  you  will  note  that 
the  book-keeping  is  done  entirely  by  machinery.  Those 
desks  are  merely  shells  for  the  Auto- Account  device. ' ' 

"The  what?"  gasped  his  listener. 

"The  book-keeping  machine.  Note  that  the  loose- 
leaf  book  fits  down  into  an  opening  in  the  top  of  the 
desk.  By  numbering  each  cross  line  and  column  in  the 
book,  the  mere  pressure  of  the  proper  line  and  column 
keys  places  the  machine  in  position  to  make  the  post- 
ing at  the  right  place.  The  entry  is  then  made  by 
pressing  the  keys  for  the  amounts  to  be  posted.  The 
small  selector  key  on  the  right  hand  of  the  machine 
turns  the  pages  of  the  book  to  the  next  account  wanted. 
Different  machines  are  used  for  different  books;  the 
ledger  machine,  for  instance,  has  special  debit  and 
credit  keys  w^hich  record  and  add  all  postings,  show- 
ing at  the  close  of  the  day  whether  or  not  the  book  is 
in  balance.     This  machine  also  makes  copies  of  all 


162  Clever  Business  Sketches 

postings,  the  duplicate  sheets  being  used  for  monthly 
statements." 

Thorpe  sank  weakly  into  a  chair.  "You  must  have 
large  vaults,"  he  hazarded,  "to  hold  all  those  books." 

Cummins  smiled  pleasantly.  ' '  We  have  no  vaults  at 
all,"  he  replied,  "and  need  none.  There  is  not  a 
stick  (rf  wood  or  a  piece  of  inflammable  material  in 
this  whole  building." 

"But  the  books — papers " 

"No  paper  is  used.  The  sheets  are  made  of  asbesti- 
line,  a  substance  of  recent  invention.  It  is  practically 
the  same  as  paper,  excepting  that  it  is  fireproof.  The 
ink  is  a  liquid  compound  of  the  same  material.  These 
books  and  documents  will  get  red-hot,  but  never  burn, 
and  when  cooled  they  are  as  legible  and  perfect  as 
they  were  at  first." 

"But  thieves — burglars " 

Know  better  than  to  bother  us.  All  our  docu- 
ments and  books  are  stored  at  night  in  steel  filing  cabi- 
nets. A  secret  switch,  operated  only  with  keys  car- 
ried by  certain  officials  of  the  company,  sends  a  high 
v^oltage  of  electricity  through  every  filing  case  in  the 
offices  until  morning.  The  burglar  who  had  the  cour- 
age to  try  to  plunder  these  rooms  would  bring  his 
career  to  an  end  then  and  there." 

"Now,"  he  continued,  "what  do  you  say  to  a  peep 
at  the  general  manager  in  his  office?" 

Readilj'^  assenting,  the  visitor  followed  the  guide 
across  the  room  to  an  open  door.  The  afternoon  light, 
shining  through  the  heavy  glass  outer  wall,  softly 
lighted  the  luxurious  furnishings  and  fittings  of  the 
smaller  room.  The  manager  was  seated  at  a  desk  in 
the  center  of  his  office ;  around  him  were  a  number  of 
contrivances,  curious  looking  to  Thorpe,  and  their  uses 
were,  to  him,  a  mystery.     He  turned  to  Cummins. 

"What  is  that  horn  sticking  out  of  his  deck  for?" 
he  inquired. 

"That!"  The  guide  seemed  surprised  at  the  ques- 
tion. "Well,  you  are  from  the  t;ill  timber,  sure 
enough!     Why,  that's  an  ampliphone!" 

"An  ampliphone,"  repeated  the  bewildered  visitor. 


Ahead  of  Date 


163 


" Certainly.  It's  just  the  samo  as  tho  nld-tinio  tele- 
phone, exccpliny;  that  it  is  wireless,  and  you  can  talk 
and  hear  from  any  part  of  the  room.  You  can  connect 
it  with  any  other  instrument  within  a  radius  of  five 
hundred  miles  by  siin])ly  turnin<^  a  dial  to  make  the 
combination  used  for  the  other  ampliphone.  Or,  if  you 
want  to,  you  connect  with  a  dozen,  or  a  hundred,  other 
instruments  at  the  same  time,  providing  none  of  them 
are  in  use.     They're  used  a  great  deal  these  days  for 


"Climb  in,  man,  it  won't  hurt  you" 

meetings  of  different  kinds;  folks  just  stay  at  home 
and  attend  the  meeting  by  ampliphone." 

Thorpe  took  the  explanation  calmly ;  he  was  getting 
used  to  surprises. 

' '  That 's  a  funny  looking  thing  for  a  business  oflfice 
— that  blackboard  over  there,"  he  remarked. 

Cummins  grinned.  "You  mean  the  illustrograph, 
I  guess,"  he  said;  "that's  how  the  boss  keeps  tab  on 
his  employes.     You  see,  that's  nothing  but  a  ground 


164  Clever  Business  Sketches 

glass  screen,  connected  with  the  illustrograph  roe- 
chines  in  each  room.  When  the  boss  wants  to  know 
what's  going  on  in  any  of  the  offices,  he  pushes  the 
proper  button,  and  a  picture  of  the  room  shows  on  the 
screen.  It 's  a  little  tough  on  the  boys,  but  it  saves  the 
old  man  a  lot  of  trips  through  the  offices." 

"What's  the  door  in  the  outside  wall  for?" 

"It  leads  to  the  manager's  private  air  boat  landing; 
to  save  time,  he  lands  directly  outside  his  own  office. 
There's  a  mighty  fine  view  from  the  platform!  come, 
let 's  take  a  look  at  it ! " 

Thorpe  followed,  stepping  gingerly  out  onto  the 
landing,  which  was  nothing  more  than  a  small  square 
porch,  without  a  railing.  On  it  rested  a  peculiar  look- 
ing machine,  something  like  a  small  boat  with  half  a 
dozen  pairs  of  wnngs  and  a  propellor  like  wheel  on 
one  end. 

"The  old  man's  air  boat,"  said  Cummins,  answer- 
ing Thorpe's  questioning  look;  "step  in,  and  we'll 
take  a  spin;   I  often  use  it." 

Thorpe  shook  his  head.  "Not  for  me!"  he  replied, 
decisively. 

"Why,  climb  in,  man!  It  won't  hurt  you."  The 
guide,  already  aboard  the  boat,  reached  out,  and,  des- 
pite the  other's  protests,  pulled  him  in.  There  was  a 
grinding  whirr  of  machinery,  and  the  boat  plunged 
forward  and  off  the  platform.  Dimly,  through  the 
rushing  wind,  Thorpe  saw  the  ground,  far  below,  fly- 
ing up  to  meet  them.  While  the  guide  worked  despe- 
rately at  the  levers,  Thorpe  clung,  paralyzed  with 
fear,  to  the  framework  of  the  boat,  and  waited  an 
hour — so  it  seemed  to  him — for  the  inevitable  crash. 
And  then — it  came ! 

"George,  wake  up!"  The  voice  seemed  to  come  to 
him  from  far  away.  He  felt  a  slight,  .sharp  shock, 
and  a  tingling  sensation,  beginning  near  his  shoulders, 
passed  through  his  whole  frame.  Pie  drowsily  opened 
his  eyes.  His  head  was  lying  on  his  old  ink-stained, 
oilcloth-covered  book-keeping  desk;  he  raised  him- 
self and  looked  with  slowly  returning  senses  around 


Ahead  of  Date  165 

the  ding}',  familiar  little  office  in  which  he  earned  his 
daily  bread. 

"Doggone  it!  You  must  have  been  asleep  all  after- 
nooil,"  came  in  grieved  tones  from  his  boss.  "I  just 
got  here,  and  waked  you  up  with  a  good  slap  on  the 
back.    What's  the  matter— sick ? " 

"No,  sir;  I'm  all  right,"  sleepily  answered  Thorpe. 
Then,  in  an  undertone,  he  muttered  to  himself,  "and 
blamed  glad  to  be  here,  too.  Little  old  1908  is  good 
enough  for  me.     Darn  a  dream,  anyway!" 

Then  he  opened  the  general  ledger  with  a  bang. 


JOHN  HAKE,  BUSINESS  GAIVIBLER. 

BY  B.   P.  OWIE. 

How  the  Purchasing  Agent  of  a  Railroad  Company 

made  a  failure  of  his  scheme  to  down  a  veteran 

in  an  Arkansas  land  deal  on  the  option  plan. 

"I  GUESS  that  will  hold  William  Grimes,  P.  A., 
down  to  the  level  for  a  while. 

' '  Try  to  hold  me  in  the  background  on  that  old  op- 
tion gag  while  he  gets  control  of  just  enough  of  the 
timber  to  make  his  own  price  with  me  or  go  into  the 
business  himself  as  a  competitor,  will  he  ? ' ' 

John  Hake  spoke  thus  as  he  jammed  a  number  of 
leases  into  his  small  traveling  bag  and  climbed  into  a 
muddy  old  buggy  preparatory  to  a  22-mile  drive  to 
the  little  station  of  Lockport  down  in  Arkansas.  Hake 
had  spent  the  day  with  several  farmers  and  had  at  the 
opening  of  this  story  just  concluded  a  stroke  of  busi- 
ness which  meant  many  thousands  of  dollars  for  the 
company  of  which  he  was  the  head. 

Mr.  Hake  did  not  really  need  the  money  which  the 
day's  deal  was  sure  to  bring  him.  In  fact,  if  it  had 
meant  the  loss  of  an  equal  amount  he  would  not  have 
changed  his  tactics  one  bit.  Hake  had  found  that 
"William  Grimes,  purchasing  agent  of  the  M.  &  N.  M. 
railroad  company,  had  tried  to  turn  the  tables  on  him 
in  a  business  deal  and  he  would  not  have  hesitated 
for  one  moment  at  the  expenditure  of  any  amount 
of  money  in  the  battle  to  win. 

He  was  a  business  gambler.  He  delighted  in  taking 
long  chances  and  then  staying  in  the  game  for  the 
excitement  of  wiiming  out.  He  clipjx'd  his  coupons 
and  did  his  voting  in  a  northern  metropolis,  but  was 
well  known  in  the  business  communities  of  many  cities. 
At  the  time  of  his  encounter  Avith  Grimes  he  had  just 
organized  a  company  to  erect  a  saw  mill  in  a  well- 
known  lumber  district  in  Arkansas,  and  had  about 
closed  a  deal  with  the  M.  &  N.  M.  railroad  company 

166 


John  Hake,  Business  Gaynhler        167 

to  supply  it  with  railroad  ties  the  quantity  of  which 
would  keep  the  mill  iu  operation  for  several  years. 

The  directors  of  the  company  met  in  Memphis  and 
Mr.  Hake  was  on  hand  to  close  the  deal.  Before  the 
board  got  together  Grimes,  the  purchasing  agent  who 
had  conceived  a  brilliant  idea  while  the  deal  was  still 
in  progress,  went  to  the  directors  and  suggested  that 
he  could  buy  the  timber  in  Arkansas  as  cheaply  as 
Hake  and  could  raft  it  down  the  river  to  Moundville 
where  there  was  a  saw  mill  which  would  turn  out  the 
ties  at  a  price  much  lower  than  Hake  had  offered. 
Of  course  this  was  not  explained  to  Hake,  who  was 
simply  told  by  the  president  of  the  company  that 
other  matters  would  claim  their  attention  at  the  meet- 
ing scheduled,  and  asked  to  have  the  matter  stand — 
or  in  other  words  give  them  an  option — for  three 
days. 

Now  Mr.  Hake  did  not  need  to  exercise  any  great 
amount  of  his  natural  keenness  to  convince  himself 
that  unless  he  got  up  early  and  stayed  up  late  some- 
thing was  going  to  happen  to  that  lumber  deal  over  in 
Arkansas.  He  could  not  tell  just  what  it  was,  but  he 
knew  very  well  that  a  railroad  that  Avas  just  pining 
away  for  ties  one  week  would  not  put  the  matter  off 
unless  there  was  something  doing. 

But  what !  That  is  exactly  the  question  John  Hake 
was  asking  himself  for  the  hundredth  time  and  had 
about  decided  that  some  other  company  had  stepped 
into  the  game.  The  only  thing  he  could  not  under- 
stand was  how  anyone  could  compete  with  his  com- 
pany. The  timber  he  had  secured  over  in  Arkansas 
was  obtained  at  such  a  ridiculously  low  figure  that  he 
could  not  see  how  any  company  could  meet  his  price. 

Hake's  head  was  full  of  these  problems  and  his  ap- 
parent solution  of  them  when  he  entered  the  hotel 
lobby  after  his  return  from  the  meeting.  He  was  so 
engrossed  with  the  matter  that  he  did  not  notice  a 
young  man  approaching  from  the  opposite  direction 
until  he  had  collided  with  him.  He  was  about  to 
apologize  for  his  seeming  rudeness  when  the  young 
man  called  him  by  name.    Then  he  recognized  him  as 


168  Vlever  Business  Sketches 

one  of  the  clerks  in  the  office  of  the  M.  &  N.  M.  Com- 
pany. 

"You  don't  know  me,"  said  the  young  man,  "but  I 
know  you.  1  am  a  clerk  down  in  the  offices  of  the 
M.  &  N.  M.  and  have  seen  you  there  often.  My  name 
is  Simpson." 

Now  if  there  was  one  thing  which  John  Hake  could 
do  quicker  than  another  it  was  to  think.  And  think 
he  did  at  that  very  time.  Almost  before  he  knew  it 
Simpson  was  seated  at  a  table  in  the  hotel  cafe  with 
Mr.  Ilake  opposite,  and  the  pair  was  indulging  in 
"the  same."  The  latter  was  in  quest  of  some  valu- 
able information  which  he  felt  sure  that  Simpson  was 
in  a  position  to  yield  up.  He  had  no  idea  of  making 
the  young  clerk  purposely  violate  any  of  the  confi- 
dences of  the  office  and  that  is  where  his  wonderful 
diplomacy  came  in  again  and  served  him  well 

"You  down  in  Grimes'  office?"  he  asked. 

Simpson  laughed  right  out.  He  had  just  tucked 
away  his  third  greeting  in  the  social  intercourse  and 
Avas  as  willing  to  talk  as  he  seemed  determined  to 
laugh.  "That's  pretty  good,"  he  said  as  he  laughed 
again.  "Grimes'  department.  That's  what  Grimes 
calls  it.  He's  bigger  than  the  road  and  when  he 
makes  any  reference  to  the  purchasing  department  he 
calls  it  'his.'  But  he's  gone  away  for  a  week  and  we 
will  have  a  little  rest  until  he  gets  back.  He  went 
to  Nashville  this  evening  and  before  he  gets  back  he's 
got  to  go  over  to  Arkansas  on  some  kind  of  a  lumber 
deal." 

Did  IIak6  look  wise?  Not  on  your  natural.  He 
tumbled  to  the  fact  that  whatever  Simpson  knew  about 
the  office  he  did  not  know  the  nature  of  the  business 
which  Hake  had  on  hand  and  the  latter  did  not  break 
any  records  letting  him  in  on  it.  What  he  did  do  was 
to  get  away  from  Simpson  as  quickly  as  possible  and 
after  a  good  night's  rest  he  secured  a  supply  of  leases 
from  a  legal  blank  store  and  took  the  next  train  for 
Lockport. 

"Guess  I  might  as  well  tie  the  lumber  industry  of 
that  part  of  Arkansas  up  into  a  hard  knot  if  I  can 


John  Hake,  Business  Gambler        169 

beat  Grimes  down  to  where  the  mud  is  deep,"  he 
said  as  he  boarded  the  train  for  his  hours  of  travel  on 
the  road  of  few  stations  and  which  rarely  stopped  its 
trains  until  tiie  tracks  sunk  so  far  down  that  the  en- 
gineer could  not  see  the  rails. 

"This  old  line  needs  something  else  besides  tics," 
commented  John  Ilake  to  himself,  "but  I  don't  deal 
in  filling  in  ground." 

Once  when  the  train  came  to  a  slow-up  at  a  cross- 
road Hake  caught  sight  of  a  rustic  seated  on  a  farm 
wagon  industriously  sucking  a  lemon.  Hake's  mouth 
watered  as  he  observed  to  the  man  in  the  seat  in  front 
of  him.  "Isn't  it  strange  that  Providence  should  step 
in  and  present  to  one's  vision  a  living  emphasis  of 
what  is  just  at  that  very  moment  uppermost  in  one's 
mind?  I  was  just  thinking  of  how  a  certain  chap 
was  doing  some  tall  stunts  in  an  effort  to  hand  me  a 
lemon  on  a  business  deal,  when  the  train  gave  a  sud- 
den lurch  at  that  cross-road  and  right  in  front  of  my 
wnndow  was  a  fellow  trying  to  secrete  his  counte- 
nance in  an  overgrown  sample  of  just  what  that  cuss 
thinks  he's  going  to  hand  me." 

Just  then  an  idea  of  some  kind  struck  John  Hake 
because  he  settled  his  gaze  on  the  fast  disappearing 
beauty  of  the  sunset  and  said,  "After  all,  there  are 
times  when  a  lemon  comes  in  right  handy,  but  they 
were  never  grown  to  travel  alone.  Now  you  take  a 
little  sugar  and  some  cracked  ice,  and  a  little  bruised 
mint  and — but  what's  the  use?  All  I  have  is  the  re- 
maining ingredient.     Will  you?" 

"Reckon  I  will  'n  dam  glad,"  came  from  the  stran- 
ger as  he  reached  over  for  the  proffered  iiask. 

"When  it  came  time  for  the  pair  to  talk  again  the 
train  had  pulled  up  at  Lockport  and  Hake  got  out 
after  bidding  his  traveling  acquaintance  good-bye. 

Speaking  of  Lockport.  It  was  a  town  of  about  600 
inhabitants  when  they  were  all  home,  and  it  swelled 
to  about  800  on  Saturday  when  the  farmers  all  drove 
in  with  their  families. 

The  question  was  never  quite  satisfactorily  settled 
just  .why  the  town  of  Lockport  and  the  railroad  sta- 


170  Clever  Business  Sketches 

tion  had  not  gotten  closer  together  in  the  early  days 
of  their  acquaintance.  Some  said  that  the  half  hour's 
ride  between  the  two  was  due  to  the  haste  with  which 
the  surveyors  went  over  the  line,  thereby  disregarding 
the  fact  that  the  town  lots  had  already  been  platted 
some  distance  to  the  south.  Then,  when  the  boomers 
saw  what  they  declared  was  a  direct  affront  on  the 
part  of  the  road,  they  held  an  indignation  meeting 
and  decided  to  start  the  town  where  they  had  first  in- 
tended and  make  it  grow  away  from  the  railroad. 
What  little  growing  Lockport  had  indulged  in  was  in 
strict  accordance  with  the  dictates  of  the  boomers — 
hence  the  ride  already  referred  to. 

At  the  tavern  John  Hake  failed  to  find  anybody 
that  looked  like  Grimes.  Then  he  went  over  to  the 
town  livery  and  learned  that  both  teams  were  in  and 
had  not  been  out  during  the  day. 

"I'm  ahead  of  Grimes.  He  cannot  possibly  get 
here  now  until  noon  tomorrow  unless  he  has  a  Marconi 
system  up  his  sleeve,  and  by  that  time  I  will  own  that 
river  if  those  farmers  are  susceptible  to  the  velvety 
touch  of  the  long  green."  He  engaged  a  team  and 
driver  to  be  ready  at  daybreak  and  went  to  bed. 

Down  on  the  banks  of  the  river  the  next  morning 
there  was  considerable  excitement  among  the  farmers 
who,  twelve  in  number,  with  their  grown  sons  gath- 
ered and  asked  each  other  what  was  coming.  The 
night  before  Hake  had  quietly  dispatched  two  men 
on  horseback  to  get  to  the  farmers  as  quickly  as  pos- 
sible and  notify  them  to  meet  on  the  property  of  one  of 
the  number  whose  place  was  the  most  central. 

The  men  on  horseback  did  their  Avork  well.  The 
fact  that  they  made  a  myster.y  of  the  object  of  Hake's 
visit  was  no  fault  of  theirs.  They  had  not  been  told 
Avhat  he  wanted.  "Get  them  all  in  one  bunch,"  was 
all  he  had  said. 

"Wonder  'f  he  wants  t'  back  out  the  timber  deal?" 
asked  one. 

"Not  with  me,"  .said  another.  "Tax  collector's 
got  mine,  an'  b 'sides  a  deal's  a  deal." 

Finally  John  Hake  drove  up.    The  crowd  clustered 


John  Hake,  Business  Gambler        171 

around  him  as  he  stepped  from  the  buggy.  They 
were  not  kept  long  iu  waiting.  Hake,  as  already 
stated,  was  a  man  of  action. 

"Gentlemen,"  he  said,  and  he  used  the  same  diplo- 
macy he  would  have  exercised  at  a  gathering  of  offi- 
cials, "I  have  traveled  back  among  you  because  I 
have  found  that  my  company  will  have  to  make  a  new 
arrangement  that  will  be  better  for  us  all.  The  fact 
is,  we  will  have  to  locate  our  mills  nearer  the  river 
than  we  at  first  expected." 

The  farmers  looked  at  each  other  in  the  "I  told 
you  so"  way  which  recalled  the  talk  of  the  two  men 
early  in  the  morning  when  they  advanced  their  views 
on  the  object  of  the  gathering. 

Hake  noticed  the  glances  and  smiled.  He  knew 
what  the  farmers  expected  and  he  knew  that  when  he 
had  finished  his  talk  it  would  be  all  off  with  Grimes. 
"You  all  own  your  land  clear  to  the  water  front, 
and  collectively  you  own  fully  five  miles  each  way 
from  the  point  about  due  north  from  here.  Here's 
my  new  proposition.  I  want  to  employ  all  of  you  who 
can  be  spared  from  the  farms  during  the  lumber  sea- 
son which  is  about  to  open,  and  I  find  that  we  will 
have  use  for  ten  miles  of  the  water  front.  These  logs 
cannot  be  hauled  a  very  great  distance  and  must  be 
rafted.  My  company  does  not  want  anything  that  it 
does  not  pay  for,  and  my  object  in  coming  back  so 
soon  is  to  offer  you  a  fair  price  for  the  use  of  the  water 
front,  and  secure  leases  for  it.  What  do  you  think 
would  be  a  fair  annual  rental  payable  in  advance 
every  six  months?" 

"Was  John  Hake  wise  ?  Not  one  of  the  rustics  could 
imagine  just  what  he  was  driving  at  until  he  had 
finished,  and  all  the  time  he  was  talking  money.  They 
talked  it  over,  during  which  time  the  entire  party 
walked  down  to  the  river  banks  a  quarter  of  a  mile 
away  as  if  to  find  the  solution  in  the  waters. 

Finally  one  of  the  fellows — the  one  who  had  said 
considerable  about  a  deal  being  a  deal — said  he  was 
a  mind  to  let  it  go  for  just  enough  to  make  the  lease 


172  Vlever  Business  Sketches 

legal.  "Mr.  Hake,"  he  said,  "has  already  agreed  to 
pay  us  a  fair  i)rice  for  our  timber  aud  most  of  us  are 
to  git  work  from  him.  I  don't  b'lieve  it's  square  to 
make  him  pay  for  the  use  of  that  river  front  if  he 
allows  us  to  keep  on  drivin'  our  stock  down  there  as 
we  are  now  when  we  want  to." 

When  Mr.  Hake  agreed  to  that  last  proposition  and 
went  a  little  further  and  agreed  to  pay  an  annual 
rental  of  $20  a  mile  for  the  leases  of  the  water  front, 
and  to  pay  it  in  advance  every  six  months,  he  started 
a  regular  love  feast.  The  party  trudged  back  to  the 
farm  house  where  the  leases  were  signed  and  the 
money  paid,  Hake  taking  a  receipt  from  each  of  the 
farmers  for  the  amount  he  received. 

Some  of  the  party  suggested  that  they  draw  the 
buggy  a  few  miles  up  the  road  just  to  show  Hake  that 
they  thought  he  was  the  real  goods,  but  he  wouldn't 
have  it  that  way.  The  only  one  who  seemed  to  think 
the  thing  was  a  joke  was  the  driver  of  the  buggy.  He 
smiled  when  Hake  folded  up  the  leases  and  climbed 
into  the  buggy  as  he  mumbled  to  himself  the  words 
with  which  our  story  opens.  Then  it  was  that  the 
driver  laughed  louder  than  ever. 

The  journey  to  Lockport  was  completed  before  dark, 
as  the  horses  had  had  quite  a  rest.  Hake  took  the 
driver  and  the  two  fellows  who  made  the  round-up 
into  the  tavern,  and  after  asking  them  what  he  owed 
them  and  being  told,  paid  them  each  more  than 
double.  Hake  was  also  known  as  a  man  willing  to 
split  the  profits  of  a  good  thing. 

"No  train  for  Memphis  until  morning,"  he  mused 
as  he  W'Cnt  to  his  room  to  tidy  up  a  bit.  "What's  the 
odds?    How  1  would  love  to  see  Grimes  about  now." 

And  in  another  instant  he  was  on  his  way  to  the 
dming-room,  at  the  door  of  which  he  was  again  re- 
minded of  the  strange  act  of  Providence  which  steps 
in  and  presents  to  one's  vision  a  living  emphasis  of 
what  is  just  at  that  moment  uppermost  in  one's  mind. 
In  other  words,  he  nearly  fell  over  Grimes  in  the 
doorway. 

The    purchasing    agent    colored     up     considerably. 


John  Hake,  Business  Gambler        173 

Lockport  was  the  last  place  in  the  world  one  would 
expect  to  find  the  purchasing  agent  of  a  railroad.  The 
section  boss  would  be  all  right,  but  not  the  buyer. 

Hake  appeared  surprised,  but  he  wasn't.  Few 
things  in  the  w^orld  could  surprise  Hake  and  none  of 
them  were  to  be  found  around  Lockport.  He  had  felt 
that  Grimes  was  about  due  in  the  vicinity,  and  when 
he  thrust  his  hand  down  into  his  trousers  pocket  where 
it  came  in  contact  with  the  roll  of  bills,  he  thought  of 
Simpson  and  his  unconscious  tip,  and  made  a  mental 
resolution  to  tender  the  clerk  a  substantial  vote  of 
thanks  on  his  return  to  Memphis. 

Mr.  Hake,  it  might  be  mentioned  right  here,  was  no 
more  diplomatic  than  he  was  affable,  and  he  made  a 
beeline  for  the  table  which  Grimes  was  headed  for. 

"Going  back  to  IMemphis  in  the  morning?"  asked 
Grimes. 

"Yes,"  replied  Hake.  "I  would  go  lonight  if  I 
could  get  out,  as  my  business  here  is  over.  I  want  to 
see  you  folks  at  the  earliest  possible  moment  and  get 
back  home." 

"Getting  tired  of  the  south?"  came  back  from 
Grimes. 

"I've  no  kick  coming  from  a  business  standpoint," 
replied  Hake,  "but  I  want  to  get  home." 

"Don't  like  southern  hospitality,  eh?"  continued 
Grimes. 

"My  dear  boy,"  said  Hake,  who  began  to  think  that 
Grimes  was  trying  to  have  fun  with  him,  "I  like  hos- 
pitality anywhere,  but  I  want  to  define  it  as  it  appeals 
to  me.  It's  something  you  read  about  in  the  south  and 
only  find  in  the  north.  Going  back  on  the  morning 
train?" 

' '  No, ' '  said  Grimes,  ' '  my  business  will  keep  me  here 
tomorrow  and  perhaps  the  next  day." 

The  rest  of  the  evening  meal  was  eaten  in  silence, 
and  at  its  conclusion  Hake  said,  "Well,  Grimes,  if  you 
are  going  to  stay  over  I  can  recommend  Jones  as  a 
good  driver." 

"What  makes  you  think  I  want  a  driver?"  asked 
Grimes. 


174  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"Because  if  you  go  anywhere  in  this  country  ex- 
cept here  in  Loekport  you  have  got  to  drive.  And  if 
you  are  going  down  into  the  timber  country,"  and 
Hake  grinned  maliciously,  "you'll  have  to  drive  and 
drive  damn  fast  to  get  ahead  of  Hake." 

"What  do  you  mean?"  asked  Grimes  angrily. 

"Mean?"  fairly  yelled  Hake,  "mean!  I  mean  that 
while  you  were  chasing  around  Nashville  and  Mound- 
ville  I've  been  a  busy  man.  Only  a  few  hours  ago  I 
bought  not  only  the  remaining  timber  within  22  miles 
of  this  railroad,  but  I  removed  the  limit  and  bought 
the  river.  I  can't  regulate  the  flow  of  the  stream, 
Grimesey,  my  boy,  but  I  can  have  a  lot  to  say  about 
who's  going  to  raft  logs  from  this  county.  Better 
come  back  to  Memphis  with  me.  That  option  expires 
in  48  hours,  j^ou  know,  and  if  you  stay  here  half  that 
time  there's  going  to  be  a  raise  in  the  price  of  ties 
that  will  not  reflect  with  credit  to  you  as  a  purchasing 
agent.     Good  night." 

Grimes  did  not  believe  what  TIake  said,  and  that's 
where  he  lost  out.  He  went  to  the  office  of  the  tavern 
to  write  a  letter  to  the  president  of  the  road  which 
would  go  to  IMemphis  on  the  same  train  Avith  Hake. 
"I'll  block  him,"  said  Grimes  to  himself  as  he  pre- 
pared to  AATite. 

The  letter  had  hardly  been  started  when  Grimes  was 
interrupted  by  the  talk  of  three  men  who  stood  at  the 
drinking  bar  at  the  other  side  of  the  room.  They  were 
the  man  Jones  who  drove  Hake  that  day,  and  the  two 
men  who  went  ahead  into  the  lumber  territory  on 
horseback. 

Jones  was  the  first  to  speak  after  Grimes  got  into 
the  room  and  took  a  seat  at  the  writing  table.  "He's 
a  world  beater,"  Jones  was  saying.  "Think  of  a  man 
leasin'  a  river  of  real  running  water." 

Grimes  looked  up. 

**Yes,"  said  one  of  the  others,  "and  the  reckless 
way  he  handles  money  beats  all.  Why,  he  must  'a  got 
rid  of  mor'n  a  hundred  dollars  today." 

"I  tell  you,"  replied  Jones,  "he's  a  world  beater. 
You  know  I  put  in  some  years  away  from  home  over 


John  Hake,  Business  Gambler        175 

in  Memphis  and  N 'Orleans,  and  I'm  right  here  to  tell 
you  I  know  the  real  thing.  First  I  lliought  I'd  been 
smokin'  ag'in  and  was  dreamin'  ol"  glidin'  down  a 
stream  on  a  moss  covered  log  that  was  'a  dodgin'  water 
lilies,  Once  I  went  to  sleep  that  way  in  N 'Orleans 
after  one  of  them  pill  smokes  and  I  lost  a  million  dol- 
lars through  a  feller  in  the  bunk  under  me  who  was 
tryin'  to  give  a  blind  girl  five  millions  and  he  made 
such  a  fuss  about  it  that  he  rolled  out  on  the  floor  and 
woke  me  up  just  as  I  was  eountin'  my  money." 

"I'm  pretty  near  ready  to  pineh  myself  now.  Ten 
dollars  for  a  day's  drivin'  to  give  a  feller  a  chance  to 
buy  up  the  river  bank." 

Grimes  looked  up  again. 

The  man  who  had  been  supplying  the  drinks  from 
back  of  the  bar  overheard  the  conversation,  and  going 
back  to  the  cash  drawer  begun  to  examine  the  last  bill 
handed  over  by  Jones. 

" Think 's  bad?"  said  Jones.  "Think  b 'cause  a 
man's  willin'  to  pay  well  for  work  that's  well  done, 
that  he's  usin'  homemade  money?  Why,  that  fellow 
couldn't  begin  to  make  all  the  money  he's  got,  even  if 
he  was  to  work  at  it  for  a  whole  year.  I  '11  bet  he 's  got 
'nough  in  his  pockets  now  that  if  he  chucked  it  all  in 
the  firebox  of  old  number  8  in  the  morning,  she  could 
make  Memphis  without  stoppin'  to  coal  up.  His  stuff's 
Avhat  they  call  long  green  down  in  N 'Orleans,  and  he 
knows  how  to  let  go. ' ' 

This  time  Grimes  got  up. 

He  went  to  his  room  and  tried  to  convince  himself 
that  the  men  had  been  posted  in  the  office  by  Hake  just 
to  annoy  him,  and  after  debating  the  question  in  his 
own  mind,  decided  to  carry  out  his  original  program. 
He  was  out  and  gone  before  daybreak  and  Jones  was 
the  driver. 

When  Hake  reached  Memphis  he  went  at  once  to 
the  hotel.  "If  Grimes  will  only  keep  aw^ay  until  to- 
morrow night  the  price  of  ties  to  the  M.  &  N.  M.  rail- 
road will  go  up  like  a  hot  air  balloon  at  a  county  fair, 
and  Grimes  will  resemble  the  acrobat  who  comes  down 
with  the  parachute  which  fails  to  open  up." 


176  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Grimes  played  directly  into  Hake's  hand  by  re- 
maining away  until  it  was  too  late  to  take  advantage 
of  the  option.  Hake  wont  to  the  offices  of  the  M.  &. 
N.  M,  railroad  on  the  last  day  of  grace  and  seemed 
very  much  surprised  when  the  president  told  him  the 
matter  would  be  taken  up  and  disposed  of  the  next 
afternoon  when  ]\Ir.   Grimes  returned. 

Grimes  got  back  late  that  night  and  on  the  follow- 
ing morning  went  to  the  president  and  without  telling 
all  the  facts,  told  that  official  that  his  deal  could  not 
go  through  and  advised  that  a  contract  be  made  with 
Hake  for  the  ties. 

In  the  afternoon  when  Hake  put  in  an  appearance 
the  president  told  him  he  was  ready  to  sign  the  con- 
tract at  the  figures  named  in  the  original  agreement. 

"Sorry,"  said  Hake,  "but  since  those  prices  were 
quoted  ties  have  advanced  25  per  cent." 

"But  we  have  an  option,"  said  the  president  hotly, 
addressing  Mr.  Hake. 

"You  did  have  until  midnight,"  said  Hake,  "but 
since  then  the  market  has  fluctuated  in  my  favor." 
Then  for  the  second  time  Hake  almost  lost  his  temper. 

"You  fellows,"  he  fairly  yelled,  "tied  me  up  with 
an  option  and  then  went  to  work  to  get  possession  of 
some  of  my  plans  and  throw  me  to  my  knees  where  I 
would  have  to  take  anything  you  felt  disposed  to  offer 
or  lose  out.  I  tell  you  right  now  that  your  company 
has  got  to  buy  j'our  ties  from  me  at  25  per  cent  ad- 
vance or  build  a  railroad  35  miles  long  over  into  the 
next  count}'  to  haul  j'our  logs.  There  was  a  time  when 
j'ou  could  raft  them  down  the  river  to  Moundville,  but 
that's  past.  The  water  is  still  there  and  it's  free,  but 
I  own  the  banks." 

The  contract  was  signed. 


THE  STRIKE  AT  LA  PLACE'S. 

BY  EDGAR  MATTHEW  KEATOR. 

When  a  strike  is  declared  at  a  hat  factory  in  the 
fall  of  the  year,  at  which  time  orders  are  tumbling  in 
for  spring  goods,  there  is  likely  to  be  a  deal  of  talk 
on  the  part  of  the  superintendent  that  is  hardly  print- 
able. 

Rice,  the  "super"  of  the  La  Place  hat  factory,  had 
been  in  his  position  a  little  over  a  year,  and  had  so 
far  avoided  trouble  with  the  men  and  given  satisfac- 
tion to  the  firm.  A  strike  might  jeopardize  his  position 
and  cause  thousands  of  dollars'  loss  to  the  company 
that  employed  him. 

The  mechanics  from  every  department  wanted  a 
raise  in  price  for  their  work,  and  despite  his  argument 
that  the  cost  of  materials  had  so  far  advanced  that  to 
pay  them  more  was  impossible,  they  still  demanded 
the  increase. 

A  committee  from  everj^  division  of  the  w^orks  had 
visited  him,  and  everyone  had  refused  to  listen  to 
the  plea  that  more  could  not  be  paid. 

A  "general"  committee,  made  up  of  the  chief  men 
of  the  room  or  division  committees,  had  just  announced 
to  Rice  that  unless  their  demand  was  acceded  to  im- 
mediately, a  strike  would  be  declared. 

"What  you  demand  is  impossible,"  said  Rice  to 
the  spokesman.  "Give  me  a  couple  of  hours'  time, 
and  I  '11  show  you  a  statement  of  costs  of  materials  and 
labor.  Ten  cents  a  dozen  more  in  eveiy  branch  of 
manufacture  would  drive  us  out  of  business." 

"Your  statement  be  damned,"  said  a  surly  fellow 
named  Sparks.  "We  don't  want  no  piece  of  paper 
to  show  us  what  we're  entitled  to.  Come  on,  fellers," 
said  he,  turning  to  the  men.  "Don't  let  him  do  yer 
out  of  yer  rights.  AVe'll  close  yer  place  up,  that's 
what  we'll  do." 

"One  moment,"  said  Rice  quietly.    "If  you  go  on 

177 


178  Clever  Business  Sketches 

strike,  we  won't  be  the  only  ones  to  suffer.  It  will 
mean  thousands  of  dollars  to  us ;  but  it  will  mean  star- 
vation to  a  good  many  of  you.  Don't  only  consider 
yourselves  in  this  matter.  Think  of  the  claim  of  those 
who  are  dependent  on  you." 

"Oh,  ter  hell  with  yer!"  said  O'TInnron,  a  bulldog- 
faced  man,  and  the  chief  strike  disturber.  He  walked 
out  of  the  superintendent's  office  followed  by  the  oth- 
ers. Eice's  face  burned  with  insult,  but  he  held  fast 
to  his  temper.  Half  an  hour  later  the  men  had  all  left 
the  works. 

Rice  did  not  go  home  that  night.  He  telephoned  an 
advertisement  to  every  paper  in  town  to  be  inserted  in 
the  following  morning's  editions.  It  was  a  call  to  union 
or  non-union  hatters  to  take  the  places  of  those  who 
had  struck. 

Late  into  the  night  he  watched  the  strikers  talking 
in  groups  in  the  street  and  wondered  if  the  following 
night  would  be  as  peaceful. 

Some  of  the  strikers  remained  around  the  works  un- 
til morning,  and  those  who  had  gone  home  were  on 
hand  at  sunrise.  Every  person  who  was  suspected  of 
applying  for  a  position  Avas  either  persuaded  not  to 
go  into  the  factory  or  forcibly  restrained.  They  even 
tried  to  hold  up  the  engineer,  but  he  satisfied  them  in 
some  way  that  he  could  do  their  cause  no  good  by 
joining  them,  and  they  let  him  pass. 

This  fellow,  O'Hanron,  had  been  a  thorn  in  Rice's 
side  for  many  a  day.  It  was  practically  impossible  to 
discharge  him,  for  to  do  so  would  have  precipitated 
trouble  with  the  union,  of  which  he  was  an  officer.  The 
men  feared  him,  and  they  invariably  did  his  bidding, 
no  matter  how  unreasonable. 

For  some  time  a  rumor  had  been  current  in  the 
works  that  O'TTanron  was  a  jail  bird;  that  he  had 
served  one  term  in  state's  prison  for  larceny  and 
another  for  some  other  offense.  Proofs  of  this  were 
sought  by  Rice,  who  had  no  doubt  that  the  information 
would  be  effective  in  getting  rid  of  the  chief  dis- 
turber. TTe  determined  to  have  a  talk  with  the  man  at 
the  earliest  moment. 


The  Strike  at  La  Places  179 

Not  a  person  had  succeeded  in  getting  by  the  pick- 
ets of  the  strikers,  and  Rice  now  resolved  to  go  out 
himself  and  try  to  obtain  a  new  force  of  men.  He 
looked  out  of  the  window  at  the  ominous  crowds  of 
strikers  along  the  street.  They  were  noisy  and  looked 
dangerous.  Rice  slipped  a  revolver  into  his  coat 
pocket,  and  then  with  not  a  little  trepidation,  stepped 
into  the  street. 

The  door  had  hardly  closed  on  him  than  he  was 
seized.  The  infuriated  men  kicked  and  beat  him.  He 
cried  for  help,  but  the  few  policemen  on  duty  were 
powerless.  From  a  wound  in  his  forehead  the  blood 
trickled  into  his  eyes  and  mouth.  He  struggled  man- 
fully, and,  as  one  fellow,  Avho  had  him  by  the  coat  col- 
lar, turned  momentarily.  Rice  kicked  his  feet  from  un- 
der him.  He  ran  with  all  his  might  for  the  entrance 
to  the  works,  but  a  burly  fellow  jumped  in  front  of 
the  door. 

The  superintendent  saw  that  the  situation  was  des- 
perate. The  men  were  angered  beyond  all  reason. 
They  had  an  unconscionable  desire  to  kill  him.  He 
pulled  his  revolver  and  fired  at  the  fellow  who  was  ob- 
structing the  doorway.  The  shot  missed  him,  but  it 
stayed,  for  an  instant,  the  onrush  of  the  crowd.  Rice 
took  advantage  of  the  lull  to  put  his  back  against  the 
building. 

"I'll  kill  the  first  man  that  advances  a  step  beyond 
the  crowd,"  cried  the  superintendent.  The  throng 
surged  back  and  forth,  advancing  little  by  little  on 
Rice. 

*'Now,  listen!"  said  he,  his  face  ghastly  with  dry 
blood.  "Do  you  think  you  will  accomplish  anything 
good  by  these  methods?  I'll  see  every  one  of  you 
hanged  before  I'll  let  you  conquer  me.  That  factory's 
going  to  run.  It's  going  to  get  out  the  orders  that  are 
in  it,  and  it's  going  to  do  these  things  despite  any  pack 
of  striking  cowards!" 

The  men  were  sullenly  silent  during  this  speech,  and 
then  O'Hanron  spoke  up. 

"Der  yer  hear  that,  men?     He'll  fill  yer  benches 


180  Clever  Business  Sketches 

with  scabs.    Yer'll  see  yer  wives  and  children  starve. 
Are  yer  goin'  ter  stan'  by  an'  see  him  do  it?" 

"No!"  cried  the  crowd  in  unison. 

''Lynch  him!"  yelled  some. 

"Kill  him!"  howled  others.  About  a  foot  above 
Rice's  head  was  a  closed  office  window.  To  jump  up 
to  this  and  then  scramble  into  the  office  would  be  ])ut 
the  work  of  a  few  seconds;  but  to  do  so  it  would  be 
necessary  for  Rice  to  turn  his  back  to  the  strikers,  and 
such  an  act  might  be  fatal. 

]\Iaking  a  motion  as  though  to  shoot  into  the  throng, 
the  superintendent  fired  his  revolver  a  little  above  the 
heads  of  the  crowd.  They  recoiled,  and  before  they 
were  aw^are  of  his  purpose,  he  was  on  the  window-sill. 
They  roared  with  rage  and  charged  down  upon  him. 
The  air  was  thick  with  sticks  and  stones. 

Rice  kicked  the  glass  in  and  jumped  into  the  office. 
A  speaking  tube  connecting  with  the  engineer's  room 
was  near  at  hand.  Rice  blew  into  it  with  all  the  power 
of  his  lungs. 

"What's  up?"  called  the  engineer. 

"Put  the  fire  hose  onto  the  hot  water  cock  and 
pump  like  hell,"  yelled  the  superintendent. 

"All  right."  The  fire  hose  hung  in  a  convenient 
place  from  the  wall.  Rice  pulled  it  down.  Every 
Aviiidow  in  the  office  Avas  broken.  Stones,  sticks,  and 
bits  of  iron  came  through  the  openings  and  littered 
the  floor.  A  burly  hat  sizer,  more  reckless  than  the 
rest,  had  made  his  way  to  the  office.  He  had  a  "plank 
pin"  in  his  hand;  a  heavy,  wooden  stick  an  inch  and 
a  half  in  diameter. 

"Get  out  of  here!"  comiiijuulod  Rice,  swinging  the 
hose  nozzle  threateningly  around  his  head.  The  fel- 
low threw  the  pin  at  him  and  then  tried  to  get  to  the 
street  through  the  window.  While  he  was  in  the  act 
of  clambering  thi-ough,  the  hot  water  shot  out  of  the 
hose  and  struck  him  in  the  back  of  the  nock.  The 
crowd  outside  had  been  waiting  his  appearanr-o,  and 
when  they  saw  him  fall  through  the  window  they 
thought  the  man  was  stark  mad.  As  he  disappeared, 
Rice  ran  to  the  window  and  pointed  the  hose  at  the 


The  Strike  at  La  Places  181 

strikers.  As  the  water  hit  them  they  scattered  i-^ 
every  direction,  howling  and  cursing  with  anger  and 
pain. 

The  superintendent  was  alone  save  for  the  engineer 
— the  clerks  had  not  returned  to  their  tasks — and  Rice 
had  to  call  upon  him  to  sit  at  the  window  and  keep  the 
mob  away  while  he  telephoned  for  help. 

More  policemen  were  asked  for  and  sent,  who  suc- 
ceeded in  keeping  the  strikers  fairly  under  control. 
From  the  window  Rice  beckoned  to  an  officer.  When 
he  came  he  said: 

"Tell  O'Hanron  I  want  to  see  him.  The  strikers 
will  point  him  out  to  you  or  tell  him  for  you."  In 
about  an  hour  O'Hanron  came  sullenly  into  the  office, 
a  policeman  keeping  him  company. 

"O'Hanron,"  said  Rice  when  they  were  alone,  "I 
want  to  have  a  talk  with  you  about  your  familiarity 
with  prisons."  The  man  looked  as  though  someone 
had  hit  him.  "Haven't  you  been  in  jail?"  continued 
Rice. 

"What's  that  your  business?"  said  O'Hanron  with 
an  ugly  grin. 

"Only  this,  that  I  have  pretty  good  reason  to  be- 
lieve that  your  name  is  no  more  what  you  pretend  it 
is  than  mine.  I  have  succeeded  in  getting  pretty  good 
evidence  of  your  escape  from  jail,  and  am  quite  sure 
that  certain  officers  in  another  section  of  this  country 
would  treat  you  as  a  welcome  guest  of  their  prison." 

"Well."  said  O'Hanron,  "What  yer  going  to  do 
about  it?" 

Oh,  nothing  very  much.  If  you  persist  in  hanging 
around  these  works  or  in  this  town  I  might  tell  Avhat 
I  know  to  the  police.  Twenty-four  hours  are  about 
long  enough,  I  reckon.  I  don't  believe  I  could  keep 
such  a  bit  of  news  longer  than  that  unless  certain  con- 
ditions that  1  have  mentioned  are  complied  with." 

Sullenly  the  man  walked  out  of  the  office,  his  ugly 
face  twisted  with  the  effort  to  control  his  rage.  The 
bluff  had  worked ;  and  with  him  out  of  the  way  Rice 
knew  resistance  would  be  very  much  weakened.  He 
drew  up  and  had  printed,  a  statement  of  the  cost  of 


182  Clever  Business  Sketches 

materials  and  labor  for  the  present  year  and  the  year 
previous.  It  was  a  convincing  argument,  and  when 
distributed  among  the  strikers  was  not  without  its 
effect. 

With  no  one  to  harangue  them,  and  the  strike  un- 
popular among  their  womenfolk,  some  of  the  men 
began  to  apply  for  their  old  positions.  As  fast  ajj 
they  came  in  they  were  put  to  work. 

Rice  wrote  a  letter  to  a  hat  manufacturing  concern 
which  the  men  claimed  was  paying  their  men  more 
than  La  Place  for  the  same  grade  of  work,  yet  were 
getting  no  more  for  their  hats.  When  their  letter 
came  in  reply,  he  had  it  duplicated  and  distributed 
among  them.  The  letter  ran  thus: 
"Mr.  Bernard  Rice,  Superintendent  of  the  La  Place 
Hat  Works. 

* '  Dear  Sir : — Yours  of  even  date  is  at  hand.  We  are 
paying  ten  cents  more  a  dozen  all  around  than  you 
are,  but  we  get  fifty  cents  more  a  dozen  than  you  for 
our  hats.  Consequently,  we  think  your  men  have  very 
little  to  complain  of.  If  you  wish  any  further  infor- 
mation do  not  hesitate  to  command  us.  Very  truly 
yours, " 

In  less  than  a  week  the  factory  was  running  as 
smoothly  as  it  ever  had.  No  order  had  been  held  up 
long  enough  to  cause  a  delay  in  delivery  in  the  spring, 
and  it  was  with  a  feeling  of  easc^  tluit  Rice  sat  down 
to  his  desk  Saturday  morning.  The  first  letter  he 
opened  ran  thus: 

' '  My  Dear  Mr.  Rice :  I  have  just  arrived  home  after 
a  most  delightful  trip  in  the  mountains.  I  am  deeply 
gratified  at  your  conduct  of  the  strike,  as  learned  from 
my  partner,  who  judiciously  remained  away  during 
the  trouble.  After  talking  the  matter  over  with  him, 
1  have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  you  would  better 
serve  us  by  becoming  one  of  us.  We  are  about  to  in- 
corporate the  business,  and  it  is  my  partner's,  as  well 
as  my  desire,  that  you  be  made  an  officer  of  the  cor- 
poration. You  will  kindly  meet  us  at  the  retail  office 
10  o'clock  Wednesday  next.  Very  truly  yours,  Rich- 
ard La  Place." 


DRIVER  OF  THE  BAND  WAGON. 

BY  J.  E.  BROWN. 

A  Story  of  Adverlising,  Narrating  How 
ISam  iSax,  Jr.,  Found  Himself. 

"Did  it  take  you  seven  years  to  buy  that  plug  of 
tobacco  for  me  ? "  said  old  man  Sax,  when  he  first  cast 
eyes  on  the  returning  prodigal. 

"I  don't  think  you've  brought  much  change  back, 
either,"  he  added,  reflectively,  looking  keenly  at  the 
general  woe-begono  appearance  of  his  first-born, 

"I  never  had  much  genius  for  money-making,"  said 
the  young  man,  ' '  but  I  've  earned  my  living  honestly 
while  I've  been  away,  and  that's  something." 

"Yes,"  said  the  old  man,  "but  you've  evidently 
earned  mighty  little  else.    "What  you  been  doing  1 ' ' 

"Tried  clerking  first.  No  good.  Had  a  row  with 
the  manager  on  general  principles.  I  got  to  know  a 
journalist,  and  since  then  I've  been  traveling  around, 
doing  odd  jobs — principally  writing  for  papers." 

"Don't  seem  to  be  much  in  it.  You  never  got  that 
streak  from  me.  Your  mother's  responsible,  I  guess. 
Showed  me  some  poetry  she  had  printed  once;  but 
the  magazine  people  forgot  to  pay  her  for  it.  You 
been  up  against  the  same  thing?" 

"Sometimes,"  said  the  yoimg  man,  evidently  anx- 
ious to  change  the  subject.  "What's  the  latest  with 
you?  I  heard  something  about  your  mining  career 
through  the  papers  a  year  ago. ' ' 

"You  did?"  said  the  old  man,  losing  his  temper; 
"then  why  in  thunder  were  you  so  long  coming  here  ? " 

"Hold  hard,  father,"  said  the  boy.  "It's  pretty 
hard  for  one  of  my  stock  to  acknowledge  defeat." 

"Yes,  there's  something  in  that,"  said  the  old  man, 
with  a  softened  tone  of  voice.  "I  don't  blame  you  in 
a  way.  But  why  didn't  you  let  me  know?  I  might 
have  helped  you  to  get  an  interest  in  a  paper. ' ' 

183 


184  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"I  was  editor  of  one  for  six  months,  and  lost  my 
position  through  speculating  in  mining  stock." 

"Whose?" 

"The  United  States  Investment  Company." 

"Well,  that's  the  limit  from  a  son  of  mine.  Didn't 
3'ou  know  they  were  bitter  competitors  of  mine?  Only 
had  a  few  holes  in  the  ground — but  that  wasn't  be- 
cause they  didn't  try  mighty  hard  to  get  my  claims 
away  from  me.  Didn't  you  hear  they  were  fighting 
me?" 

"It's  not  necessary  to  ask  a  question  like  that, 
father.  Of  course,  I  didn't.  I  read  some  of  their  lit- 
erature, and  got  enthusiastic  over  the  prospect.  Bor- 
rowed considerable.  Company  smashed  up,  and  when 
my  financial  predicament  became  known  I  had  to  leave 
the  paper.  It's  taken  18  months'  hard  work  to  get 
straight.    But  I  owe  no  one  a  cent  now." 

"Literature,"  said  old  man  Sax.  "Yes,  that  was 
the  curse  with  the  Investment  crowd.  They  got  out 
mighty  fine  'gold  brick'  reading  matter,  and  raked 
in  the  money,  too.  Why,  the  old  man  who  founded 
the  company  took  away  $150,000  a  short  time  before 
the  crash  came.  Some  of  yours,  too,  I  guess,  now. 
Every  penny  of  the  money  was  stolen  from  people  who 
couldn't  tell  gold  dust  if  they  were  to  see  it. 

"You  ought  to  have  seen  the  bunch  who  came  out 
one  Sunday  to  view  the  prospects.  Everyone  who 
was  willing  to  invest  $1,000  or  more  got  free  trans- 
portation from  anywhere  and  back.  The  heads  of  the 
concern  were  busy  for  two  days  that  week  before  the 
crowd  came  out,  blowing  gold  dust  into  the  earth. 
You  should  have  heard  the  mob  cheer  when  a  rascally 
assayer  ]>r()ved  before  their  eyes  that  there  were  so 
many  ounces  of  gold  to  the  ton.  I  told  the  sheriff 
about  it ;  but  I  guess  he  was  'fixed,'  too,  from  the  way 
he  acted. 

"The  finish  came  after  they  paid  two  quarterly  divi- 
dends out  of  the  capital.  The  old  man  left  his  boys  to 
fight  the  matter  out  in  the  law  courts ;  but,  bless  you, 
what  could  the  stockholders  prove  as  to  where  the 
money  had  gone?     There  was  a  big  heap  of  second- 


Driver  of  the  Band  Wagon  185 

baud  machinery,  fit  for  the  scrap-heap,  represeutiiig 
the  biggest  asset  ou  the  credit  side  of  the  company's 
statement. ' ' 

"What's  your  position,  father?" 
"Worth  a  solid  hundred  thousand  in  the  Bank  of 
Nevada,  and  could  sell  the  claims  as  they  stand  for 
nearly  double  that  amount.  But  it's  not  one-half  of 
what  I  ought  to  be  worth  if  these  claims  were  only 
properly  exploited.  Can't  get  the  financial  backing 
necessary  to  put  in  sufficient  machinery  and  enough 
men  to  work  the  mines.  I  might  use  up  that  money  in 
the  bank;  but  it  wouldn't  go  nearly  far  enough.  I 
need  some  of  those  Wall  and  La  Salle  street  capitalists 
behind  me.  Some  I  wrote  admitted  it  looked  as  though 
I  had  good  prospects;  but  I  never  pushed  'em  very 
hard  to  come  in.  I've  been  somewhat  scared  of  those 
promoters.  Plave  a  personal  acquaintance  with  three 
fellows  who  got  gently  handed  the  frosty  hand  when 
that  kind  took  hold  of  the  steering  gear. 

"Something's  got  to  be  done,  though,  if  we're  ever 
really  going  to  push  this  business  for  all  it's  worth. 
AVhy,  my  partner,  who's  been  with  me  for  five  years, 
went  home  last  week  with  a  draft  on  a  Canadian  bank 
for  not  one-half  he  should  have  realized.  Simply  tired 
and  disgusted  of  working  and  waiting." 

Sax,  Junior,  remained  silent  for  a  few  minutes,  only 
half  listening  to  the  old  man  as  he  went  on  speaking 
of  the  possibilities  that  lay  in  his  claims.  It  was  evi- 
dent some  big  idea  had  gripped  his  imagination. 

"Going  away  tonight?"  said  Sax,  Senior,  an  hour 
later  to  his  son.  "Won't  stay,  eh?  Got  car  fare  and 
lunch  money?" 

"Yes.  Guess  I'll  make  Chicago  tomorrow." 
Two  days  later  a  young  man  might  have  been  seen 
busy  in  the  vicinity  of  La  Salle  street,  Chicago,  talk- 
ing to  bankers  and  company  promoters.  Within  a 
short  time  he  had  secured  an  engagement  with  an  ad- 
vertising concern  at  a  small  salary,  on  the  under- 
standing that  he  was  to  be  specially  assigned  to  any 
financial  advertising  that  could  be  secured.  He  spent 
his  nights  poring  over  the  mysteries  of  modern  finance, 


186  Clever  Business  Sketches 

and  particularly  those  details  relating  to  mines  and 
mining. 

Ten  months  after  his  son's  visit  the  old  man  re- 
ceived a  neat,  well-printed  booklet  from  "The  Finan- 
cial Advertising  Company,"  manager,  Sam  Sax,  Jr. 
There  was  also  a  full  review  of  the  possibilities  of  a 
strong  and  judicious  advertising  campaign  to  obtain 
more  capital — so  that  the  Sax  mines  might  be  worked 
to  better  advantage.  The  letter  which  accompanied 
the  statement  and  booklet  was  a  marvel  of  strong  Eng- 
lish and  keen,  convincing  logic.  It  was  read  by  Sax, 
Senior,  at  least  a  dozen  times. 

A  week  after  the  letter  in  question  was  mailed  a 
young  man  might  have  been  seen  getting  off  a  train 
stopping  near  the  Sax  claims,  and  late  the  same  night 
a  consultation  between  father  and  son  took  place  which 
lasted  until  well  into  the  small  hours  of  the  morning. 

"Guess  that's  where  I've  been  short,  though  the 
world  knew  little  of  advertising  when  I  was  a  young- 
ster,"  said  the  old  man  at  length.  "It's  past  me, 
though,  and  I'm  too  old  to  learn  now." 

"You  mean  to  drive  the  band-wagon,  don't  you?" 
he  added  energeticallj'.  "Sort  of  act  as  master  of 
drawing-room  ceremonies  while  I  look  after  things  in 
the  basement.  You  wear  go-to-meeting  clothes,  show 
specimens  of  quartz,  and  get  more  capital  into  the 
business.  I  don't  know  but  what  I  might  try  you  out. 
Mind,  though,  if  you  fail  to  swing  the  deal,  back  you 
go  to  the  newspapering  and  advertising  business." 

Three  weeks  after  the  midnight  consultation  a  young 
man,  elegantly  dressed,  was  working  early  and  late  in 
a  well-furnished  suite  of  offices  in  Wall  Street,  New 
York  City.  Every  morning  in  the  daily  papers  and 
financial  journals  appeared  well-worded,  strong,  confi- 
dence-inspiring advertisements  setting  forth  the  merits 
of  the  Sax  claims  in  Nevada. 

Thousands  of  small  and  large  investors  were  re- 
ceiving copies  of  the  new  company's  prospectus — an 
unusually  meritorious  specimen  of  persuasive,  well- 
written,    confidence-inspiring    advertising    literature. 


Driver  of  the  Band  Wagon  187 

The  arguments  used  were  liot  with  enthusiasm  and 
evidently  inspired  by  truth. 

In  La  Salle  street,  Chicago,  a  young  journalist  with 
whom  Sax,  Junior,  had  often  broken  a  $10  bill  when 
the  pair  were  hard  up,  was  repeating  the  same  opera- 
tion with  western  fortune-seekers.  A  stream  of  money, 
small  at  first,  but  growing  bigger  every  day,  began  to 
pour  into  the  treasury  of  the  young  concern. 

The  advertising  campaign  was  undoubtedly  well 
managed.  Never  before  had  Sax,  Junior,  dreamed 
that  his  past  experience  could  be  so  valuable  to  him. 
Never  had  he  dreamed  he  could  write  such  forceful 
English,  or  meet  a  total  stranger  in  his  office,  and  by 
the  sheer  force  of  truth  and  word-painting  of  scenes 
he  had  actually  viewed,  be  able  to  converse  w'ith  that 
stranger  as  though  he  had  known  him  all  his  life.  So 
potent  was  his  language  and  arguments  that  almost 
invariably  before  the  stranger  left  he  had  obtained  a 
substantial  deposit  on  a  more  or  less  large  amount 
of  the  company 's  stock. 

Gradually  the  amount  paid  in  swelled  to  large  di- 
mensions. At  the  end  of  two  months  it  was  $100,000 ; 
at  the  end  of  three,  $240,000,  and  when  the  final  share 
of  stock  was  sold,  Sax,  Junior,  sent  a  telegram  to  the 
old  man  announcing  that  fact,  and  signing  the  mes- 
sage with  his  own  name. 

In  a  few  hours'  time  a  yellow  envelope  was  handed 
to  him  by  a  telegrapli  messenger. 

"Come  home  for  a  spell,"  ran  the  message.  "Going 
to  give  you  one-third  interest  in  my  share.  You're  a 
mighty  good  man  for  the  band-wagon.    Sax,  Senior." 


THE  SIXTH  FLOOR  ELEPHANTS. 

BY  EDGAR  DAYTON  PRICE. 

"It's  ruin,  ruin!"  groanod  Goldberg. 

"Looks  about  that  way,"  admitted  the  secretary. 

"How  much  are  we  going  to  be  short  of  paying  those 
notes  falling  due  the  first  of  April?"  asked  the  ijresi- 
dent,  wearily. 

"Thirty  thousand  dollars,"  said  the  secretary. 

"Thirty  thousand  dollars!"  almost  screamed  the 
president  of  Goldberg's  department  store.  "Mr. 
Ketcham,  we  don 't  owe  the  banks  that  sum  falling  due 
so  soon " 

"Yes,  we  do,  for  half  of  it  is  acceptances  of  ours 
we  renewed  the  first  of  the  year  after  the  poor  holiday 
trade.  You  were  in  Florida,  and  I  wrote  you  about  it 
if  you  will  remember. ' ' 

"I  don't  remember,"  said  the  president,  peevishly. 
"I  am  a  sick  man  and  my  business  is  going  to  pieces 
in  the  hands  of  miserable  inefficients.    You " 

"My  money  is  here,  too,"  said  the  secretary,  flush- 
ing. "I  think  my  ruin  will  be  more  complete  than 
yours  if  we  go  to  the  wall— it's  the  weather  conditions 
primarily  that  have  tied  us  up  so;  an  unexpected 
warm  winter  with  us  loadt'd  to  the  limit  with  cold 
weather  goods.  Then,  Mr.  Appleby,  our  advertising 
man,  has  been — er — rather  deficient  in  ideas  to  bring 
people  into  the  store— I  don 't  know  that  I  could  have 
done  any  better." 

"Go  on,  go  on,  explain;  all  I  can  understand  is 
that  I  am  ruined — this  fine  business  that  I  spent  25 
years  to  build  up " 

"Appleby  is  leaving  us  tomorrow  night,"  said  the 
secretary.  "I  have  been  advertising  for  a  bright  man 
to  take  his  place,  and  if  I  can  get  a  smart  copy  writer 
and  stimulate  interest  in  some  special  marked-down 
sales — get  the  goods  off  the  shelves  and  counters  at  any 
price — perhaps — perhaps — " 

188 


The  Sixth  Floor  Elephants  189 

"I  have  no  faith;  you  are  all  miserable  ineffi- 
cicnts, "  stormed  the  president,  and  flung  himself  out 
of  the  private  office  where  the  two  officials  had  been 
examining  the  papers  showing  the  store's  doleful  con- 
dition. An  hour  later  word  came  over  the  telephone 
that  Mr.  Goldberg  had  taken  to  his  bed. 

"1  guess  it's  up  to  me  to  sink  or  swim,"  said 
Ketcham  at  the  news.  ''Mrs.  Goldberg  owns  this  fine 
six-story  store,  basement  and  two  extensions,  so  they'll 
have  something  to  fall  back  on  if  we  smash.     As  for 

me  and  my  $20,000  interest "  he  shrugged  his 

shoulders  suggestively. 

"Er — young  man  to  see  you,"  said  the  head  book- 
keeper, opening  the  door.  "I  told  him  you  were  en- 
gaged, but  he  said " 

"Show  him  in,"  said  the  secretary.  The  permis- 
sion was  wasted,  for  the  young  man  was  inside  and 
calmly  pushing  the  book-keeper  out  and  closing  the 
door. 

"Mr.  Ketcham,  secretary,"  said  the  young  man,  "I 
am  Harold  Barker,  23,  American,  from  New  York 
City,  borough  of  IManhattan •" 

"Oh,  are  you?"  said  the  secretary.  "Well,  what 
do  you  want?" 

"That  job  as  advertising  man,"  said  Harold, 
promptly. 

"How — how — do  3"0u  Icnow  we  want  one?"  asked 
the  secretary.  "We  are  advertising  for  a  man,"  he 
admitted,  "but  the  applications  are  to  be  sent  to  a 
box  number  at  the  different  paper  offices." 

"That  don't  go  Avith  me,"  said  Mr.  Barker,  with 
decision.  ' '  M}^  way  is  to  get  in  first  and  get  the  job, 
so  I  just  showed  a  half-dollar  to  the  office  boys  down 
in  the  Star  office  promising  it  to  the  boy  who  identi- 
fied the  chap  Avho  came  for  the  answers  to  'Capable 
Adwriter.'  IMy  coin  went  quick  when  your  boy  with 
the  buttons  and  'Goldberg'  on  his  cap  came  in,  and — 
here  I  am." 

"Excuse  me,  the  messenger  boy  just  brought  these," 
interrupted  the  book-keeper,  opening  the  door  and 
laying  a  big  bunch  of  letters  on  JMr.  Ketcham 's  desk. 


190  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"You  needn't  look  at  'em,"  said  Mr.  Barker;  "just 
hire  me." 

The  secretary  was  amused  in  spite  of  himself  at  the 
easj^  assurance  of  the  young  man  before  him. 

"Just  mention  your  qualifications,  if  you  don't 
mind,"  he  said. 

"I  don't  write  advertisements,"  premised  the  vis- 
itor. 

"Ah,  quite  a  recommendation  for  the  place,"  said 
Mr.  Ketcham. 

"Pooh!  you've  plenty  of  clerks  who  can  write 
newspaper  stuff  illustrated  by  the  dinky  little  cuts,  but 
let  me  ask  you  if  you've  got  anybody  who  can  fill  the 
newspapers  with  articles  that  you  don't  pay  a  cent 
for ;  articles  that  will  bring  the  crowds  here — jam  the 
outfit  from  sub-basement  to  roof " 

The  secretary  sat  up. 

"No,  we  haven't,"  he  said.  "Do  you  think  you 
can?" 

"I  can,"  said  Mr.  Barker,  concisely;  ""no  crowds, 
no  pay." 

"Suppose  you  take  me  into  your  full  confidence," 
said  the  secretary,  smilingly  opening  a  box  of  cigars 
and  pulling  up  a  chair.  The  office  force  were  sur- 
prised to  hear  hearty  laughs  coming  from  the  private 
office,  some  obviously  emanating  from  the  glum  secre- 
tary. An  hour  passed  and  the  door  opened  and  Harold 
Barker,  American,  23,  etc.,  etc.,  emerged,  followed  by 
the  secretary,  who  introduced  the  young  man  to  the 
head  book-keeper  in  due  form. 

"Mr.  Barker  is  to  have  charge  of  the  advertising, 
Mr.  Brown,"  said  Mr.  Ketcham.  "Introduce  him  to 
the  heads  of  the  departments  and  see  that  he  has  a 
key  to  let  himself  in  with  after  hours,  and  be  sure 
that  the  watchman  understands  the  arrangement — Mr. 
Barker  is  liable  to  make  overtime  until  he  learns  the 
ropes.  Also,  you  will  honor  Mr.  Barker's  requisitions 
for  money  up  to  $300,  Mr.  Brown." 

"Yes,  sir,"  said  JMr.  BroAvn,  and  led  Mr.  Barker 
away.  The  newly  hired  flashed  an  eagle  eye  over 
everything  in  the  commodious  building,  the  large  and 


The  Sixth  Floor  Elephants  191 

powerful  elevators  and  the  little-used  stairs  which 
wound  about  them  from  cellar  to  roof,  the  wide  aisles, 
the  heaped  counters  and  shelves  and  the  idle  clerks. 
He  noted  a  life-sized  stuffed  elephant  in  the  rug  de- 
partment with  interest  and  was  positively  delighted 
when  he  discovered  a  crack  in  one  corner  of  the  big- 
gest plate  glass  window  Goldberg's  boasted. 

"Dead  loss,"  said  Mr.  Brown,  waving  his  hand  at 
the  window.  "The  insurance  was  overlooked  and  of 
course  somebody  heaved  a  stone  and  now  we've  got 
to  put  in  a  new  plate  at  our  o\mi  expense." 

"I've  a  notion  to  have  that  elephant  put  into  the 
window,  and  then  dress  like  an  East  Indian  and  heave 
bricks  through  the  glass — that  would  be  good,"  said 
the  impulsive  Harold.     Mr.  Brown  stared. 

"Of  course,  a  real  elephant  and  a  real  East  Indian 
would  be  better,"  said  Mr.  Barker,  noticing. 

"Well,"  said  the  bookkeeper,  "four  elephants  and 
four  East  Indians  would  be  four  times  better — there's 
an  elephant  stimt  going  to  be  done  at  the  vaudeville 
next  week — the  people  in  this  town  are  weak  about 
elephants — bang!  smash!  busted  window,  cascade  of 
elephants!  Say,  young  fellow,  do  you  ever  hit  the 
pipe?" 

"Oh,  by  golly!  Oh,  oh!"  said  Mr.  Barker,  smitten 
with  ^n  idea. 

"I've  got  to  get  back  to  my  work,"  grumbled  the 
head  book-keeper  disgustedly.  "Say,  you're  a  peach 
to  have  charge  of  a  department  store  advertising,  but 
if  Mr.  Ketcham  can  stand  you  I  can.    Good  day." 

"Oh,  wow!"  said  Mr.  Barker,  who  seemed  pleased 
with  himself.  "Won't  I  be  after  those  300  bones  in 
the  morning,  all  right?"  he  shouted  after  the  retreat- 
ing Mr.  Bro\\Ti.  He  was  as  good  as  his  word  and  after 
a  long  confab  Avith  Mr.  Ketcham  and  an  all-afternoon 
session  in  the  bowels  of  the  building  in  the  company 
of  the  engineer,  a  smart  young  Irishman  by  the  name 
of  Delaney,  he  had  the  stuffed  elephant  moved  into 
the  show  window  and  then  disappeared. 

The  down-town  streets  blazed  with  electric  lights 
and  as  the  hour  of  eight  approached  they  filled  with 


192  Clever  Business  Sketches 

people  on  pleasure  bent,  hurrying  to  the  different  thea- 
ters and  other  places  of  amusement.  A  keen  wind  sent 
clouds  of  snow  scurrying — snow  that  was  due  in  Janu- 
ary and  February  now  coming  down  in  March — to  the 
joy  of  those  who  felt  they  had  been  cheated  of  their 
winter. 

There  was  a  pause  in  the  hurry  and  bustle  as  around 
the  corner  of  the  street  leading  from  the  union  freight 
yards  came  a  procession  of  shuffling,  whining  elephants 
on  their  way  to  the  vaudeville  show.  The  creatures 
were  wrapped  to  the  tips  of  their  snouts,  but  were  evi- 
dently cold  and  uncomfortable,  breaking  into  trumpet- 
ings  as  their  mahouts  jabbed  them  with  the  barbed 
elephant  goads.  Following  Ihcm  came  the  ubiquitous 
small  boy  in  crowds,  older  people  stepped  to  the  curb 
to  gaze,  trolley  cars  slowed  up,  congesting  traffic,  and 
frightened  horses  reared  and  ran  at  the  sight  of  the 
mountains  of  flesh. 

The  stuffed  elephant  in  the  Goldberg  department 
store  window  looked  cosy  and  comfortable  by  compari- 
son. It  stood  embowered  in  palms  and  tropical  green, 
howdah  on  back  and  trunk  thrown  up  either  to  trum- 
pet defiance  or  catch  peanuts,  and  the  sight  of  it  to 
the  cold-footed  live  creatures  in  the  street  was  gall 
and  wormwood.  There  was  a  halt  in  the  march  and 
a  scattering  in  the  crowd  following,  at  the  shrill  and 
angry  trumpetings.  The  mahouts  goaded  and  struck 
in  vain — lithe  snouts  were  feeling  about  for  missiles — 
like  one  elephant  the  creatures  charged  at  the  Gold- 
berg window — crash  ! — crash ! — rip  ! — jingle   jingle ! 

The  broken  glass  tinkled,  leaving  a  great  opening 
through  which  charged  the  attacking  elephants.  In  an 
instant  the  stuffed  imitation  was  undergoing  a  rending 
and  tearing  and  the  palms  and  vegetation  being 
trampled  underfoot.  The  Goldberg  watchman  came 
racing  from  the  basement  from  a  confab  with  Delaney, 
the  engineer,  who  was  making  some  repairs.  He  went 
white  at  the  sight  of  the  bulky  forms  rioting  in  the 
windows  and  tottered  to  the  office,  where  he  managed 
to  turn  in  a  fire  and  police  call.  The  sight  of  the  ele- 
phants leaving  the  windows  in  his  direction  gave  his 


The  Sixth  Floor  Elephants  193 

feet  wings  and  he  broke  through  the  crowd  outside  and 
disappeared.  The  big  creatures  pad-padded  about  the 
department  store,  pulling  down  the  piled  goods  with 
their  trunks,  regardless  of  the  despairing  mahouts  who 
shrieked  shrill  commands  in  vaiu.  Then,  to  add  to  the 
confusion,  every  light  in  the  building  went  out. 

Fire  apparatus  and  police  patrols  came  rattling 
up  and  the  men  piled  into  the  Goldberg  store  only  to 
pile  out  again  at  the  uncanny  trumpeting  of  the  ele- 
phants happy  in  the  warm  atmosphere  and  busy  at 
destruction.  A  cordon  was  formed  outside  and  no  one 
allowed  to  put  foot  inside — a  most  unnecessary  pre- 
caution. The  Goldberg  department  store  was  left  a 
new  and  charming  jungle  for  the  performing  ele- 
phants until  daylight  should  come  and  their  keepers 
restore  them  to  reason.  The  keen  wind  blew  and  the 
snow  fell  and  gradually  the  crowd  departed,  leaving 
the  official  watchers  and  the  newspaper  reporters. 
Slowly  the  hours  dragged  by  until  the  tardy  daylight 
came,  and  with  daylight  came  a  surprise — the  ele- 
phants had  disappeared ! 

Goldberg's  opened  for  business  as  usual  with  the 
arrival  of  the  curious  clerks  who  had  read  the  events 
of  the  night  as  "scareheaded"  in  the  morning  papers. 
Mr.  Harold  Barker  came  early,  looking  rather  care- 
worn as  a  man  might  who  had  slept  badly  or  not  at 
all.  He  jumped  as  he  saw  the  tumbled  goods  on  the 
main  floor. 

"Fine!  fine!"  he  said.  "Everybody  get  a  hustle 
and  take  account  of  the  damage  and  we  will  have  an 
elephant  damage  sale!"  Mr.  Ketcham,  who  had  just 
bounced  in,  newspaper  in  hand,  took  fire  in  a  minute. 

"The  very  thing,"  he  laughed.  "I  guess  very  few 
people  have  ever  had  the  chance  of  attending  that  kind 
of  a  sale,  so  mark  the  tumbled  goods  down  50  per  cent 
—what's  that?" 

An  elevator  cage  was  coming  down  the  shaft  on  the 
top  speed.  It  stopped  at  the  main  floor  and  spilled  a 
shrieking  bunch  of  employes  from  the  sixth  floor — the 
stock  floor  where  goods  were  opened. 

"The  elephants!   the  elephants!"  they  howled. 


194  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"Be  quiet!  What  do  you  mean?"  said  the  secre- 
tary, authoritatively. 

' '  They  're  up  on  the  top  floor ! ' ' 

"Nonsense! — how  could  they  get  there?"  asked 
Ketcham,  severely. 

"We  don't  know— but— but " 

"Somebody  go  up  and  investigate,"  said  the  secrc- 
tar3^  A  cage  load  of  volunteers  got  together,  mostly 
newspaper  reporters,  and  shot  upwards.  Twenty  min- 
utes later  the  cage  came  down  and  the  reporters  dashed 
for  their  respective  newspapers. 

"They're  up  there,  sure  enough,"  they  said,  "all 
four!" 

It  was  a  great  mystery.  The  stairs  were  out  of  the 
question,  being  too  narrow  for  the  bulky  creatures.  It 
was  silly  to  suppose  they  had  taken  the  elevators,  yet, 
there  they  were,  good  as  kittens  now,  roaring  petitions 
for  breakfast.  Their  mahouts  were  with  them,  but  the 
turbaned  East  Indians  could  not  explain,  making 
vague  flying  motions  with  their  hands  and  obviously 
frightened. 

The  situation  was  further  complicated  by  the  vau- 
deville people,  who  owned  the  elephants,  walking  in 
and  demanding  their  property. 

"Go  up  and  get  'em,"  said  the  secretary. 

"You  fetch  'em  down,"  said  the  vaudeville  people. 

There  was  no  fetching  them  down  unless  the  beasts 
were  dropped  do^vn  the  elevator  shafts.  Meanwhile 
bales  of  hay  were  lugged  in  and  shot  to  the  sixth  floor, 
where  the  hungry  trumpetings  speedily  stopped  as  the 
visitors  got  to  work. 

The  newspapers  were  full  of  the  mystery  and  the 
talk  of  the  town  was  of  Goldberg's  and  the  elephants 
on  the  sixth  floor.  The  boarded-up  window  was  the 
mecca  of  thousands  of  sight-seers,  and  as  the  news  got 
out  that  the  elephants  were  now  on  their  best  behavior 
and  were  to  give  free  exhibitions  every  two  hours  by 
special  arrangements  with  their  owners,  the  depart- 
ment store  was  thronged.  People  who  came  to  enjoy 
a  free  performance  found  that  they  could  go  up  on  the 
elevators  but  must  come  down  by  the  stairs,  thus  ac- 


The  Sixth  Floor  Elephants  l!55 

qnainting  themselves  with  the  difTcrent  Goldberg  de- 
l)art»ients. 

A  reward  was  ofTerod  for  a  correct  answer  to  the 
question, ' '  How  did  they  get  up  there  1 ' '  Whole  pages 
were  taken  in  every  paper  in  town  setting  forth  Gold- 
berg bargains  which  the  curious  visitors  swarming 
over  the  establishment  grabbed  with  both  hands.  The 
winter  spell  gave  a  brisk  impetus  to  the  sale  of  the 
winter  stocks,  and  extra  cashiers  had  to  be  taken  on  to 
handle  the  money  which  rolled  in  on  the  fortunate  de- 
partment store  with  the  elephants  on  the  sixth  floor. 
Incidentally  business  was  woefully  dull  in  every  other 
department  store  in  town. 

The  performing  elephants  remained  for  several  days 
when  their  owners  made  peremptory  demands  for  their 
return  and  threatened  suit  for  damages  for  stopping 
the  performances.  Stocks  were  low  now  and  there  was 
need  for  a  general  overhauling  for  the  spring  trade,  so 
one  morning  the  elephants  were  discovered  missing, 
turning  up  at  a  tov^Ti  a  hundred  miles  away  to  do  their 
regular  vaudeville  stunt.  There  were  no  explanations 
and  the  Indian  mahouts  vaguely  waved  their  arms 
when  questioned  as  to  the  flight  to  earth. 

"Mr.  Barker,  you're  a  wonder!"  said  the  secretary 
of  the  Goldberg  department  store  on  the  first  of  April. 
"We've  made  more  money  in  the  last  15  daj^s  than 
we  took  in  in  the  two  months  before,  and  I  don't  mind 
telling  you  that  it  has  pulled  us  out  of  a  financial  hole. 
Mr.  Goldberg  has  authorized  me  to  hand  you  this  $500 
over  and  above  your  salary,  and — do  you  mind  giving 
me  the  details  now — I  know  I  promised  not  to  ask." 

"Why,  certainly,"  smiled  IMr.  Barker,  pocketing  the 
money.  "You'd  never  suspect  it,  but  the  head  mahout 
is  an  Irishman  and  he  worked  with  me  and  IMr.  De- 
laney  to  admiration.  The  mahouts  egged  on  the  ele- 
phants to  heave  bricks  at  the  stuffed  brother  in  the 
window  and  then  to  go  in  and  rip  him  up.  We  had 
some  ship's  slings  made  of  10-ply  canvas,  copper  riv- 
eted and  reinforced  to  the  limit.  You  know  these  par- 
ticular elephants  were  fresh  from  Europe  and  they 
had  been  slung  onto  lighters  and  then  into  steamships 


196  Clever  Business  Sketches 

and  off  again  till  slinging  was  second  nature.  Delaney 
had  unhooked  one  elevator  cage  and  fixed  a  gangway 
of  two-inch  planks  doubled,  and  we  simply  elevated 
the  four  of  'em,  the  mahouts  riding  up  behind  their 
ears  and  sticking  'em  good  and  plenty  with  the  goads 
to  keep  'em  occupied.  It  was  all  done  quick  and  with- 
out a  hitch." 

' '  Bravo ! ' '  laughed  Mr.  Ketcham.    ' '  The  newspapers 
are  worrying  yet  as  to  how  it  was  done." 


MIXING  THE  GRADES. 

BY    M.    W.    FOSHAY. 

The  son  of  his  employer  sat  in  Mr.  Knight's  home, 
where,  ever  since  he  was  a  small  boy,  he  had  delighted 
to  come  and  play  with  Bessie.  He  was  "Fred"  to  all 
the  family,  and  a  favorite ;  but  now  he  was  preferring 
a  request  that  came  unpleasantly  to  Bessie's  father. 
Following  his  statement,  a  silence  fell  between  them. 
It  was  finally  broken  by  Mr.  Knight,  who  said,  in  a 
very  decisive  way: 

"No,  Fred,  my  boy,  we're  not  in  the  same  class,  and 
I  don't  like  to  mix  the  grades,"  and  the  keen  eye  of 
the  foreman  looked  resolutely,  if  not  unkindly,  at  the 
stylishly  dressed  young  man. 

"Is  that  your  only  reason?"  Fred  asked,  his  coun- 
tenance overcast  and  his  nerves  not  quite  steady,  for 
he  well  knew  the  older  man's  inflexibility  when  once 

he  had  taken  a  stand.     "I  shouldn't  think "  and 

he  paused,  in  a  slight  confusion. 

"That  I  would  object  mixing  them  upward,  eh?" 
and  ]\Ir.  Knight  smiled  as  he  completed  the  other's 
thought. 

"Well,  I  don't  want  you  to  think  I  look  at  it  that 
way!"  Fred  burst  out,  rising  in  his  excitement. 
"Only "  and  again  he  hesitated. 

"I  understand,"  was  the  quiet  response.  "Now, 
please  sit  down  and  let  me  state  the  case  in  a  word  or 
two,  from  my  standpoint.  You  mean  to  say,  that,  on 
the  part  of  the  employe,  it  is  generally  considered  a 
very  complimentary  thing  when  the  son  of  his  em- 
ployer wishes  to  marry  his  daughter,  and  that  mixing 
the  grades  upward  in  this  fashion  ought  to  be  all  right 
so  far  as  I  am  concerned. 

"Well,  I'm  of  a  different  opinion.  While  I  have 
no  objection  to  you  personally — of  course  not,  for 
haven't  I  known  you  ever  since  I  had  to  carry  you  in 
my  arms  to  keep  you  out  of  darger  in  the  factory?" 

197 


198  Clever  Business  Sketches 

and  he  laid  his  hand  affectionately  on  Fred's  shoul- 
der— "but  I've  seen  too  many  rich  men's  sons  who 
are  no  good  for  anything  but  managing  property. 
That's  all  right,  too,  for  property  must  be  looked 
after;  only,  what  would  you  do  in  the  battle  of  life  if 
you  hadn't  a  dollar  to  manage?" 

"But  there  isn't  any  danger " 

"Yes  there  is!  There's  always  danger,  and  when  a 
young  fellow  brought  up  as  you  are  loses  his  means, 
he  becomes  the  most  helpless  and  useless  man  in  Amer- 
ica. I'm  getting  a  little  grizzled,  as  you  see,"  and  he 
stroked  his  beard  that  was  fast  becoming  touched  with 
gray,  "and  Bessie  is  the  apple  of  my  eye.  It  is  my 
business  to  protect  her,  and  when  she  marries  her  hus- 
band will  be  an  honest  mechanic.  You  are  fresh  from 
college  and  can  turn  your  head  to  many  things,  I  have 
no  doubt,  but  what  can  you  turn  your  hand  to?  I 
believe  in  a  college  education — all  the  more  because  I 
was  deprived  of  it,  and  Bessie  has  two  years  of  it  yet 
before  she  can  think  of  marriage  to  anyone — but  I 
believe  that  with  it  every  man  ought  to  have  some- 
thing he  can  put  his  hand  to  in  case  of  business  dis- 
aster. You're  young.  Learn  something  of  this  sort, 
and  then  come  back  to  me;"  and  he  again  put  his 
hand  on  Fred's  shoulder. 

The  latter  sat  in  perplexed  thought.  He  did  not 
know  how  to  look  at  the  view  Mr.  Knight  presented,  it 
was  so  different  from  the  ordinary  one.  He  had 
nothing  but  money  and  good  character  with  which  to 
commend  himself  to  Bessie's  father! — and  he  knew 
that  his  decision  would  stand. 

ANDERSON 's  MISTAKE. 

"Well,"  he  said,  at  last,  "I  always  supposed  a 
young  man's  first  consideration  was  to  possess  the 
means  to  afford  marriage,  but  it  seems  that  1  am  mis- 
taken in  this  case.  If  I  become  a  competent  ditch- 
digger,  will  that  do?"  he  asked  bitterly. 

Mr.  Knight  made  no  answer.  It  really  pained  him 
to  see  the  way  the  young  man  took  it,  but  he  could  not 
recede  from  his  position. 


Mixing  the  Grades  199 

"I  tell  you  what!"  Fred  suddenly  exclaimed,  ris- 
ing, "the  time  was  when  men  fought  to  win  i'air  la- 
dies, and  Bessie  shall  be  mine  if  a  dozen  mechanieal 
dragons  have  to  be  overthrown.  I  Suppose  there's 
no  objection  to  my  seeing  her  when  she 's  at  home,  and 
writing  to  her?" 

"Lord  bless  you,  no!  You've  always  been  welcome 
to  my  home  ever  since  you  and  Bess  were  tots  and 
went  to  the  public  school  together,  and  I  hope  you 
always  will  be." 

Fred  went  to  see  his  father. 

"I  want  to  learn  the  beginnings  of  this  business," 
he  said,  "so  that  I  can  do  anything  there  is  to  be  done 
in  the  whole  establishment." 

"A  very  commendable  ambition,"  his  father  con- 
curred. "Well,  I've  given  you  charge  of  the  lowest 
department  in  the  office  and  will  put  you  on  up  as 
rapidly  as  you  become  familiar  with  the  details." 

"But  that  isn't  what  I  mean,"  Fred  explained.  "I 
want  to  learn  the  mechanics  of  the  whole  affair,  so 
that  if  anything  happens  1  can  do  or  direct  the 
work." 

"You  don't  mean  that  you  want  to  go  into  the  fac- 
tory?" and  his  father  raised  his  eyebrows  incredu- 
lously. 

"Yes." 

"Well,  that's  an  odd  idea — and  not  to  be  thought 
of !  I  don 't  know  exactly  what  you  mean  by  '  if  any- 
thing happens,'  but  it  will  take  all  your  time  to  mas- 
ter the  commercial  side  of  the  business,  and  I  haven't 
any  notion  of  putting  you  to  wiring  houses  or  polish- 
ing telephones. ' ' 

Fred  presented  the  ideas  of  Mr.  Knight  (without, 
of  course,  mentioning  his  name,  or  making  known  the 
real  reason  for  his  request)  to  the  best  of  his  ability, 
and  wound  up  by  declaring  his  intention  to  learn  a 
trade  or  its  equivalent. 

"What's  the  matter  with  you,  Fred?"  his  father 
asked  impatiently,  at  the  conclusion.  "My  business 
cannot  become  jeopardized  any  more  than — than  the 
government,  or  anything  else  that's  as  solid  as  a  rock. 


200  Clever  Business  Sketches 

You  are  talking  nonsense.  I've  fitted  you  to  take  my 
place,  in  time,  as  head  of  affairs,  and  what  on  earth 
has  got  into  your  mind?" 

Then  Fred  made  a  clean  breast  of  the  situation.  His 
father  listened  to  the  passionate  recital  with  the  same 
kind  of  interest  he  would  have  bestowed  on  a  fairy 
story,  and  when  his  son  finished  he  remarked,  icily : 

NO    MIXING   OP    GRADES. 

"Well,  I  am  glad  my  foreman  agrees  so  thoroughly 
with  my  views  about  'mixing  the  grades,'  as  he  calls 
it,  although  our  standpoints  are  likely  quite  different. 
I  certainly  shall  not  consent  to  mingling  the  classes 
in  this  instance,  and  much  less  to  the  idea  of  your 
stepping  down  to  prepare  for  it.  Now,  let  us  have 
no  more  of  this.  You  are  of  age  and  of  course  can  do 
as  3^ou  like,  but  if  you  continue  to  bear  any  relation  to 
my  business  it  must  be  on  the  plane  where  you  belong. 
If  you  make  a  fool  of  yourself,  it  shall  be  neither  in 
the  establishment  nor  at  home.  I  think  your  depart- 
ment needs  your  attention  now,"  and  he  turned  to  his 
desk. 

Three  weeks  later  Fred  was  in  Chicago  at  work  in  an 
electrical  establishment.  The  parting  at  home  had 
been  bitter.  ]Iis  father  said  he  did  not  care  to  hear 
from  him  at  all,  but  he  wrote  to  his  mother  regularly. 
His  intention  was  to  compass  electrical  engineering, 
beginning  at  the  workman's  end  and  finishing  at  a 
school.  For  the  present  he  was  a  helper,  begrimed  and 
greasy. 

Alert,  brainy,  competent  in  every  way,  he  went  up 
the  rounds  of  the  ladder  rapidly,  and  at  the  end  of 
two  years  he  could  do  with  his  own  hands  any  part 
of  the  work.  His  longest  letters  were  to  Bessie,  and 
in  them  he  disclosed  his  intention  of  going  to  Wiscon- 
sin University,  where,  because  of  his  practical  knowl- 
edge, he  could  finish  the  course  in  electrical  engineer- 
ing in  one  year.  This  was  to  be  a  secret,  for  he  did 
not  care  to  have  his  father  know  anything  about  his 
movements,  and  his  letters  from  his  mother  would 
continue  to  be  directed  to  Chicago. 

His  letters  home  had  been  ignored  by  his  father. 


Mixing  the  Grades  201 

At  first,  he  told  his  wife  not  to  moiition  Fred  at  all ; 
but  during  the  last  six  months  she  had  ventured  to  tell 
a  few  items  about  his  progress,  and  when  she  at  length 
informed  him  that  Fred  was  assistant  foreman,  he 
seemed  interested.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  he  was  in 
trouble  and  longed  for  his  son's  presence  and  help. 
Several  blocks  of  stock  that  he  held  had  gone  down, 
competition  was  terrific,  and  he  was  not  so  confident 
of  being  solid  as  a  rock  as  he  had  been  a  few  years 
previous. 

With  the  passage  of  another  year,  matters  with  hira 
were  still  more  involved.  It  was  going  to  be  neces- 
sary to  employ  the  most  competent  help  and  use  the 
latest  devices  in  order  to  hold  his  own  in  the  business 
world.  Several  changes  must  be  made  in  the  construc- 
tion of  his  plant,  and  he  determined  to  secure  an  up- 
to-date  electrical  engineer  to  effect  them  and  to  carry 
on  that  part  of  the  work  in  the  most  approved  fashion. 

The  president  of  the  university  at  IMadison,  Wis- 
consin, was  an  old  friend,  and  he  wrote  to  him  that  if 
he  considered  the  man  graduating  at  the  head  of  his 
class  this  year  from  the  electrical  department  to  be  of 
more  than  average  ability  among  head  men,  there  was 
a  situation  ready  for  him.  The  president  replied  that 
he  mentioned  the  request  to  the  professor  in  charge 
of  that  department,  and  he  had  been  assured  that  they 
had  a  very  unusual  man  in  the  class  who  had  com- 
bined practice  and  theory  in  his  preparation,  and  he 
felt  satisfied  that  he  would  fill  the  bill. 

SECURED  THE   MAN. 

This  was  so  promising  and  Mr.  Anderson  was  so 
afraid  of  losing  the  chance  of  securing  such  a  man, 
that  he  forwarded  a  liberal  contract  for  a  term  of 
years,  signed  and  finished  except  the  insertion  of  the 
young  man's  name,  which  had  not  been  mentioned  in 
the  correspondence.  This  could  be  attended  to  and  he 
could  sign  it  before  the  president  and  then  bring  the 
document  along  with  him,  in  case  he  accepted  the 
offer. 

One  day  Fred  stood  unannounced  before  his  father 
in  the  office. 


202  Clcve?'  Business  Sketches 

"Good  morning,  father,"  he  said,  extending  his 
hand. 

"G-good  morning,"  his  father  returned,  grasping 
the  hand  and  looking  in  astonishment  at  his  son,  styl- 
ishly dressed  and  with  no  appearance  of  the  workman 
about  him. 

Fred  saw  relief  in  his  father's  face,  and  he  was  glad 
his  reception  had  been  so  cordial.  He  took  a  paper 
from  his  pocket  and  passed  it  over.  A  glance  showed 
it  to  be  the  contract  for  an  electrical  engineer,  and 
both  signatures  were  "Frederick  Anderson,"  except 
that  the  second  one  had  "Jr."  after  it. 

"W-why,  wh-what "  his  father  began,  but  Fred 

quietly  cleared  it  up  by  saying: 

"I've  finished  my  apprenticeship  in  both  practice 
and  theorj^,  and  I'm  here  as  the  best  man  the  U  had 
to  send  out — and  I'm  mighty  glad,  too,  that  I'm  to 
help  my  father!" 

The  latter  turned  his  face  aside. 

"I'm  needing  it  badly,  in  more  ways  than  one,"  he 
acknowledged,  with  a  break  in  his  voice, 

"Well,  I  imagine  we're  a  combination  that  can  beat 
the  world,"  Fred  returned,  heartily. 

A  short  conversation  revealed  the  business  state  of 
affairs,  and  father  and  son  were  soon  deep  in  plans  for 
the  reconstruction  of  the  factory.  The  work  was  un- 
dertaken in  a  few  days  and  rapidly  pushed.  When  it 
was  half  finished,  a  sympathetic  strike  called  off  the 
workmen.  Mr.  Anderson  was  in  extreme  nervous  dis- 
tress. Every  order  counted,  and  now  it  looked  as  if 
nothing  could  be  turned  out  for  a  month. 

"Don't  you  worry  for  a  minute!"  Fred  answered 
to  his  father's  fears.  "I'll  get  two  or  three  common 
workmen  and  put  the  difficult  parts  together  myself, 
and  we'll  be  ready  to  run  in  a  week." 

"Can  you  do  the  work,  as  well  as  tell  how  it  ought 
to  be  done?"  JMr.  Anderson  asked,  in  surprise. 

"Yes,  sir!"  was  the  emphatic  reply.  "That's  ex- 
actly what  I've  been  learning  while  away  from  home 
— to  do  with  my  hand  what  I  knew  how  to  do  with 
my  head." 


Mixing  tlie  Grades  203 

Both  Fred  and  Bessie  had  been  unwilling  to  marry 
without,  not  simply  the  consent  but  the  hearty  willing- 
ness of  their  parents,  for  they  had  high  ideals  of  the 
sanctity  and  permanence  of  such  a  union.  They  be- 
lieved it  to  be  only  the  mailer  of  a  short  time  when 
the  way  would  be  cleared,  and  now  Fred  welcomed  the 
opportunity  to  show  her  father  and  his  own  what  he 
could  do. 

THE  RUNNING  ARRANGED. 

Some  of  the  operatives  who  could  not  attend  to  their 
work  until  the  new  plant  was  running  were  secured  as 
assistants,  and  Fred  set  up  the  machinery  and  made 
the  connections.  Mr.  Knight  had  fumed  and  fretted 
over  the  delay  in  getting  out  the  orders,  and  he  now 
anxiously  watched  Fred,  but  without  much  confidence 
in  the  result.  His  father,  also,  came  over  from  the 
office  every  hour  or  two  and  nervously  inspected  the 
operation,  although  he  knew  next  to  nothing  about  the 
mechanical  part  of  it.  The  attitude  of  these  two  was 
enough  to  drive  the  son  and  lover  distracted^  but  Fred 
smilingly  went  on  with  his  business.  There  was  more 
at  stake  than  the  adjustment  of  a  few  pieces  of  ma- 
chinery, and  he  could  not  afford  to  let  anything  stand 
in  his  way ! 

One  week  from  the  time  he  began,  everything  was 
in  order.  At  the  moment  of  its  completion  Mr.  Knight 
was  not  present,  and  Fred  sent  for  his  father.  Then 
he  turned  on  the  power  long  enough  to  see  that  all 
worked  as  it  should,  and  said  to  his  father: 

"If  you  will  have  all  hands  here  in  the  morning, 
I'll  show  them  how  it  goes  and  explain  a  few  points." 

Mr.  Anderson  looked  at  the  revolving  machinery  for 
a  while  and  listened  as  Fred  told  him  about  some  of 
the  important  features,  and  finally  he  said,  abruptly: 

' '  Come  over  to  the  office.    1  want  to  talk  to  you. ' ' 

"Fred,"  he  continued,  when  they  were  alone,  "I 
commenced  to  think  as  never  before  about  the  rela- 
tionship of  hand  work  to  head  work  when  I  found, 
some  two  years  ago,  that  I  was  not  quite  holding  my 
own  in  business  competition.  I've  thought  much  more 
about  it  since  you  have  put  your  hand  so  successfully 


204  Clever  Business  Sketches 

to  that  machinery,  and  I  now  see  the  wisdom  of  being 
able  to  do  things  one's  self,  even  if  never  called  on 
actually  to  pcrfoi-ni  them.  It  is  a  provision  of  safety. 
Then,  I  see  another  thing — the  nobility  of  the  inde- 
pendence that  it  gives.  You  were  delicately  brought 
up  and  given  a  collegiate  course,  yet  since  you  have 
taken  hold  of  this  work  it  seems  to  me  that  you  are 
more  of  a  man  than  if  you  were  as  helpless  as  I  am 
at  it.  I  begin  to  believe  that,  in  America  at  least,  there 
ought  to  be  no  caste  except  of  worthiness  and  the  abil- 
ity to  bring  things  to  pass.  Society  would  then  adjust 
its  circles  according  to  the  congeniality  of  its  mem- 
bers, and  no  one  barred,"  and  he  paused  thought- 
fully. 

"I'm  not  giving  a  lecture,"  he  went  on,  smiling, 
"but  you  know  that  it  has  always  been  difficult  for 
me  to  change  my  mind,  and  what  I  have  been  saying 
is  only  a  preparation  for  telling  you  what  you  are  far 
more  interested  in.  Bessie  Knight  is  taking  her  place 
by  invitation  in  some  of  our  best  circles  of  society, 
and  she  has  shown  herself  to  be  a  sweet  and  cultivated 
young  lady.  You  have  shown  me ' ' — and  here  his  voice 
took  on  a  tender  tone,  mingling  with  a  slightly  jocular 
air  to  cover  it — "that  you  are  a  level-headed  young- 
ster, so  that,  as  far  as  I  am  concerned,  you  have  my 
sanction  to  do  whatever  your  heart  dictates." 

Fred  had  a  very  fair  idea  of  what  it  cost  his  father 
to  reverse  the  attitude  of  a  lifetime,  and  said  with  a 
fullness  of  feeling  his  voice  did  not  hide: 

"Thank  you,  father." 

On  the  following  morning,  ]\Ir.  Knight  and  those 
who  worked  under  him  gathered  round  Fred  while  he 
explained  all  that  was  necessary  about  the  manage- 
ment of  the  power.  Then  he  started  up  the  whole,  and 
they  scattered  to  their  different  places  of  work.  Only 
Mr.  Knight  was  left  with  him. 

"Fred,  my  boy,"  he  said,  laying  a  hand  on  his 
shoulder,  according  to  his  custom  when  his  feelings 
were  stirred,  "mix  the  grades  as  soon  as  you  like !" 


THE  TRAPPING  OF  BOMB-PROOF  SMITH. 

BY  EDGAR  DAYTON  PRICE. 

"Seventy-six  judgments!  and  he's  doing  business 
yet,"  said  McElroy,  incredulously. 

"Flourishing,  Tommy,"  said  the  narrator,  "and 
finding  fresh  victims  right  along — they  run  after  him. 
His  local  title  is  'Bombproof  Smith,  from  the  fact 
that  he  is  judgment  and  execution  proof." 

"Any  new  methods?"  asked  McElroy,  who  was  a 
young  and  briefless  lawyer,  whose  income  was  almost 
solely  derived  from  making  commercial  collections. 
He  was  alert  to  keep  track  of  his  quarry,  their  methods 
of  making  debts  as  well  as  paying  them  under  pres- 
sure, and  his  friend,  Harry  "Wheeler,  who  sold  a  line  of 
wheels  and  hubs,  had  him  very  much  interested  in  an 
extreme  case  where  Harry  had  joined  the  ranks  of  the 
"stuck." 

"Same  old  methods,"  laughed  the  salesman.  "He 
takes  advantage  of  people's  overwhelming  desire  to 
sell  goods,  and  bilks  them  right  along.  He  is  original 
in  that  he  keeps  his  credit  sweet  in  Wortendyke — pays 
on  the  nail  without  solicitation,  and  the  consequence  is 
that  everybody  helps  'Bombproof  to  trap  the  stran- 
ger. There's  a  lawyer  in  Wortendyke  who  is  the  cor- 
respondent of  the  commercial  agencies,  and  even  he, 
who  knows  what  a  scoundrel  Smith  is,  and  the  moun- 
tain of  judgments  piled  up  against  him,  gives  the  ras- 
cal a  lift  by  sending  out  mild  reports.  Here's  one, 
on  which  my  firm  extended  credit  to  'Bombproof  to 
the  tune  of  $250,  order  taken  by  your  humble  servant, 
number  of  resultant  judgment,  70,"  said  the  seller  of 
wheels  and  hubs,  extending  the  pink  tissue  to  his 
friend. 

"  'Azariah  Smith,  trading  as  the  Wortendyke  Car- 
riage Works,'  "  read  the  lawyer,  "He  trades  as  the 
Wortendyke  Implement  Company  and  the  Center 
County  Buggy  Emporium,  too, ' '  interrupted  Wheeler. 

205 


206  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"  'Azariah  Smith,  trading  as  the  Wortondyke  Car- 
riage Works,  is  a  man  of  40,  hard-working  and  indus- 
trious, and  doing  a  good  business.  Failed  once  and 
has  number  of  judgments  against  him.  AVife  said  to 
have  property  in  her  own  right.  Local  credit  first- 
class,  but  do  not  recommend  him  for  large  risks,' 
That's  fine,"  said  IMcElroy,  handing  the  slip  back, 
* '  anybod}^  would  take  a  chance  with  a  man  like  that. ' ' 

"My  house  did.  They  took  'one  risk,'  of  $250," 
said  "Wheeler  ruefully,  "and  pulled  out  judgment 
Number  70.  They'd  cheerfully  contribute  the  whole 
$250  toward  putting  Smith  in  jail  where  he  could 
stick  no  more  people,"  he  concluded. 

"Smith  must  be  making  ponsiderable  money  by  this 
clever  arrangement  of  getting  his  materials  free," 
said  the  lawyer  thoughtfully.  "I  wonder  where  it 
goes?" 

"  'Wife  said  to  have  property  in  her  own  right,'  " 
quoted  Wheeler.  "]\Irs.  Smith  is  pretty  flush,  I  judge, 
for  when  I  went  to  Wortendyke  on  a  vain  hope  of  get- 
ting the  $250,  I  found  her  on  record  as  holding  mort- 
gages by  the  dozen  on  nearby  property." 

"Just  so,"  said  ]\IcElroy,  "a  clever  pair  in  their 
line.  "What  sort  of  a  chap  is  this  'Bombproof,'  for 
looks?" 

"Medium  height,  small  features,  and  shifty  eyes 
that  avoid  yours.  Not  much  of  a  talker,  for  it  took 
me  one  afternoon  and  part  of  the  next  morning  to  get 
him  to  say  'yes'  to  my  prayer  for  that  confounded 
$250  order.  That's  the  way  he  fools  all  the  salesmen — 
makes  them  work  like  horses  to  get  an  order." 

"What  do  you  suppose  those  judgments  amount  to, 
Harry?"  asked  the  lawyer  thoughtfully. 

' '  Between  nine  and  ten  thousand  dollars,  every  cent 
of  it,"  said  the  salesman. 

"I've  a  notion  to  take  a  shy  at  your  friend  'Bomb- 
proof and  collect  on  some  of  those  judgments,"  said 
the  lawyer. 

Harry  Wheeler  laughed.  "Every  collection  agency, 
and  every  lawyer  for  miles  around  has  tried  it,  and 
laid  down,"  he  said. 


The  Trapping  of  Bomh-Proof  Smith  207 

"Well,  the  saying  is  that  there  is  a  weak  spot  in 
every  armor,"  said  Thomas  McElroy,  attorney-at-law. 
"My  business  will  be  to  go  to  Wortendyke  and  live 
there  until  I  find  the  flaw  in  our  friend  Smith,  and 
then  I'll  insert  a  cold-chisel  under  his  shell  and  rip 
his  armor  off — and  make  $5,000  on  a  50-per  cent 
divvy,"  he  said,  falling  into  a  trance  in  which  he  saw 
a  certain  girl,  a  vineclad  cottage  and  the  accessories 
of  a  blissful  wedded  life — all  to  spring  into  activity 
when  the  $5,000  came  to  hand.  She  was  such  a  dear 
girl,  with  such  faith  in  him,  and  willing  to  wait — 

"Well,  if  you  tackle  it,  good  luck  to  you,"  said 
Wheeler,  rising  to  go.  "My  firm  will  donate  the  whole 
$250,  and  if  I  can  be  of  any  service,  don't  fail  to  call 
on  me,  and — remember  me  to  Ella." 

"Yes,  yes,  I  will ;  thanks,  thanks,"  said  the  lawyer, 
coming  out  of  his  dream. 

The  attorney  sent  for  a  list  of  the  judgments  against 
Azariah  Smith,  and  commimieated  with  the  owners 
of  the  same.  He  had  no  trouble  at  all  in  making  his 
50  per  cent  arrangement,  and  with  the  preliminaries 
adjusted,  he  closed  his  office,  abandoned  his  practice 
and  took  train  for  the  town  of  Wortendyke. 

For  reasons  of  economj'-,  and  because  it  was  a  sure 
way  of  getting  close  to  the  neighborhood  life,  he  took 
board  wnth  a  Mrs.  Higginbottom,  with  whom  he  at 
once  became  a  prime  favorite.  Thomas  could  strum  a 
banjo  to  admiration  and  sing  popular  songs  by  the 
dozen,  and  being  not  at  all  bashful  about  his  accom- 
plishments, it  was  not  long  before  he  was  in  the  village 
"swim."  The  young  fellows  liked  him,  and  the  girls 
were  prepared  to,  but  there  he  drew  the  line,  and  for- 
tified by  the  letter  in  feminize  writing  that  came  every 
day,  he  kept  them  at  a  proper  distance.  He  would 
have  made  honorable  exceptions  of  the  young  ladies 
of  the  Smith  family,  and  "shined  up"  a  little  in  that 
direction,  but  he  never  received  an  invitaion  to  call  or 
any  other  indication  showing  that  they  were  im- 
pressed. 

"The  Smith's  is  dretful  stingy,"  said  Mrs.  Higgin- 
bottom, noticing  this  coldness.    ' '  Them  girls  wouldn  't 


208  Clever  Business  Sketches 

ask  a  young  man  to  call,  for  fear  he'd  stay  to  a  meal's 
vittles.  Mrs.  Smith's  the  stingy  one,  though — that 
woman  is  up  four  o'clock  Monday  mornings  a-doing 
the  fambly  washing,  just  to  save  the  money  to  put  out 
on  bond  and  mor'gage,  an'  she  said  to  be  wuth  her 
thousands  a  'ready ! ' ' 

Thomas  McElroy  was  a  born  cross-examiner  if  there 
ever  was  one.  As  the  weeks  passed  by,  he  skillfully 
drew  information  about  Azariah  and  his  wife  from 
dozens  of  people  without  their  suspecting  it.  The 
shifty  methods  of  "Bombproof"  in  business,  and  his 
wife's  remarkable  prosperity  were  common  property 
and  scarcely  worth  commenting  on,  so  used  was  every- 
body to  them.  When  it  came  to  relationships,  it  de- 
veloped that  the  la\^yer  who  represented  the  mercan- 
tile agencies  was  a  second  cousin  to  Mrs.  Smith,  which 
explained  some  things  very  well.  "Bombproof"  and 
his  wife,  their  descendants  and  their  progenito/s  were 
tabulated,  and  the  wily  Thomas  followed  every  vein, 
looking  for  somebody  with  money  to  which  Azariah 
would  fall  heir,  and  not  finding  him. 

Several  weeks  passed  while  this  knowledge  was  be- 
ing accumulated,  and  at  the  end,  the  banjo  strummer 
was  as  far  away  from  his  object  as  at  the  beginning. 
The  vine-covered  cottage,  etc.,  seemed  far  away,  too, 
but  the  attorney-at-law  was  made  of  bulldog  stuff,  and 
having  set  his  teeth  in,  was  not  going  to  let  go  until  he 
drew  blood  and  brought  down  his  game.  His  hope  was 
that  he  could  somehow  induce  Mrs.  Smith  to  transfer 
her  property  to  her  husband,  when  a  lien  could  be 
clapped  on  until  the  judgments  were  satisfied.  As  the 
weeks  went  by,  this  seemed  extremely  improbable. 

An  exciting  diversion  occurred,  when  news  came  that 
an  uncle  of  Azariah 's  had  died  up  in  Michigan,  and 
left  Azariah  his  sole  heir.  The  owner  of  the  Worten- 
dyke  Carriage  Works,  etc.,  etc.,  had  a  rather  dim  re- 
membrance of  his  Uncle  William,  who  had  gone  off 
years  before  and  bothered  those  behind  very  little  in 
the  way  of  correspondence. 

"Bombproof"  went  around  towTi  wearing  an  aspect 
of  keen  sorrow  while  he  was  waiting  for  the  particu- 


The  Trapping  of  Bomh-Proof  Smith    209 

lars  of  the  will  to  come  by  mail,  and  his  vij?ilant 
watcher,  finding  that  by  a  liieky  coincidence  Harry 
"Wheeler  was  in  IMichigan,  besought  that  gentleman 
to  investigate  the  estate  of  the  deceased  and  report. 

The  two  reports  came  in  about  the  same  time.  Aza- 
riah's  grief  departed  like  a  morning  mist  when  he 
found  that  he  was  heir  to  a  visionary. 

"I  don't  believe  he'd  have  gone  to  the  trouble  of  a 
will  just  to  leave  me  nothing  at  all,"  he  said  sourly 
to  his  better  half.  "Just  as  like's  not,  the  plaguey 
lawyers  up  there  in  IMichigan  is  combinin'  to  defraud 
and  persecute  me,  the  same  way's  they  do  around 
here.  I've  a  notion  to  go  to  IMichigan  and  see  them 
people " 

"No,  you  won't,"  said  Mrs.  Smith.  "The  idea, 
spending  a  lot  of  good  money  traipsing  up  there. 
What  you  want  to  do  is  to  write  to  the  court  that  pro- 
bates the  wills,  and  demand  a  copy.  Seems  to  me,  I 
remember  something  about  Uncle  William  being  con- 
nected with  a  bank,  or  having  shares,  or  something — 
anyhow,  you  wTite." 

Harry  Wheeler  duly  investigated  the  estate  of  Uncle 
William  on  his  friend  Thomas's  account,  and  his  re- 
port jumped  remarkably  with  Mrs.  Smith's  memory. 

"The  old  fellow  was  a  director  of  a  bank  here,  years 
ago,"  wrote  Harrj^  "He  owned  a  big  block  of  its 
stock  and  was  considered  well-to-do,  but" — the  rest 
of  the  letter  sent  the  attorney  into  a  brown  study, 
while  he  absently  contemplated  the  name  of  a  Michi- 
gan lawyer  Harry  recommended  in  case  he  thought  it 
worth  while  to  take  legal  action  there.  The  brown 
study  suddenly  cleared  away,  for  a  most  amazing  plan 
had  broken  in  upon  the  la\v5^er's  mind. 

"Eureka!  Eureka!  I've  got  him,  I've  got  him!" 
he  exclaimed,  and  seizing  his  faithful  banjo  he  swept 
the  strings  and  executed  an  Indian  dance  to  his  own 
music. 

"Simplicity  itself,"  he  chuckled.  "I've  found  the 
weak  point  in  the  Smith  armor,  and  it 's  avarice ;  I  've 
foimd  in  dear  Uncle  William  the  instrument  of 
'  Bombproof 's '  undoing,  and  now  watch  events  march, 


210  Clever  Business  Six  etches 

with  a  finale  of  the  long  green  in  these  hungry  hands, 
and  then — 

'The  wedding  bells,  the  wedding  bells, 
List  to  their  blissful  chime,'  " 
he  murmured,  his  thoughts  flying  to  the  sweet  little 
girl  at  home. 

"Forward !  now  to  set  in  motion  the  last  act  of  the 
drama  and  trap  the  erstwhile  bombproof  one,"  he 
commanded,  shaking  himself.  "Every  step  well  con- 
sidered, the  plan's  as  logical  as  a  problem  in  chess, 
three  moves,  and — check!" 

"Bombproof"  was  right  in  his  estimate  of  his  Un- 
cle "William.  Another  ^Michigan  lawyer  wrote  him 
that  the  deceased  had  left  $100,000  in  bank  shares,  to 
which  Azariah  Smith  was  sole  legatee.  There  was  not 
the  slightest  cloud  to  his  title,  the  will  had  been  pro- 
bated and  the  court  had  ordered  that  the  bank  stock, 
as  the  sole  asset,  should  be  expressed  to  the  heir.  In 
accordance  with  the  command,  the  stock  had  been  sent 
with  every  precaution,  and  should  arrive  in  two  or 
three  days. 

To  say  that  this  news  excited  the  worthy  couple  is 
to  put  it  mildly.  They  could  not  eat  or  sleep,  so  afraid 
were  they  that  that  precious  bundle  would  go  astray, 
or  that  a  whisper  of  their  good  fortune  should  get 
among  their  creditors,  whom  they  firmly  intended 
never  to  pay.  A  rumor  of  the  event  ran  about  the 
town,  and  the  couple  denied  it  with  such  vigor  that 
everyone  believed  it.  When  the  package,  red  with 
tape  and  heavy  with  seals,  came  in,  there  was  quite 
a  company  to  witness  "Bombproof"  and  his  wife  re- 
ceive it.  Deathly  pale  and  trembling,  Azariah 
stretched  out  his  hand  to  receive  the  $100,000,  when 
the  cup  of  joy  was  rudely  snatched  from  his  lips,  for 
a  young  man  stepped  forward  and  handed  the  ex- 
pressman a  legal  document. 

"I  have  filed  a  lien  on  this  package,"  he  said,  "un- 
til judgments  amounting  to  $10,562  and  costs,  against 
this  man  Azariah  Smith,  are  paid  to  me  as  trustee  for 
the  creditors — here's  my  authority,"  and  he  flashed 


The  Trapping  of  Bomh-Proof  Smith     211 

another  lep:al  dopument  with  many  signatures  beneath 
the  nose  of  "Bombproof." 

Azariah  burst  into  tears. 

"You  give  mo  that  package,  Abe  Short,"  he  said 
to  the  expressman  between  sobs.  "It's  mine,  and  I'm 
a-going  to  have  it!" 

"No,  you  don't,  'Riah,"  said  the  wary  man,  clap- 
ping the  precious  bundle  into  the  safe.  "A  court  or- 
der's a  court  order,  and  if  you  don't  feel  like  paying 
the  debts  you've  been  skinning  folks  out  of  all  these 
years,  I  '11  jest  turn  the  bank  stock  over  to  the  jedge, 
and  let  him  keep  it  till  you  change  your  mind." 

"Come  home,  Azariah,"  said  Mrs.  Smith,  keenly 
conscious  of  the  grinning  faces  around  her.  "1  don't 
believe  that  there's  any  bank  stock  in  the  bundle  at 
all — it's  just  a  scheme  to  ruin  us.  Come  home,  any- 
how, out  of  the  sight  of  this  sneak,  this  snake  in  the 
grass,  who 's  been  laying  around  to%\-n  all  this  summer 
a-playing  a  banjer,  and  watching  his  chance  to  de- 
vour us." 

"Thank  you."  said  the  snake,  bowing  elaborately. 
"I  happen  to  know  that  there  are  shares  of  bank  stock 
in  that  package,  in  your  dead  uncle's  name,  to  the 
value  of  $100,000.  If  you  do  not  quickly  adjust  this 
little  claim  of  mine,"  he  flourished  the  long  list  of 
judgments,  "we'll  all  get  into  court  together,  and — 
we'll  see." 

* '  Come,  Azariah, ' '  said  the  lady,  elbowing  her  way 
through  the  crowd. 

For  a  short  moment.  Thomas  ]\IcElroy,  attorney-at- 
law,  was  discomfited,  but  he  caught  a  glimpse  of  some- 
thing in  Mrs.  Smith's  face  which  reassured  him.  The 
crowd  departed,  but  the  attorney  lingered. 

"It's  against  the  law,"  he  said  to  the  expressman, 
winking,  "but — if  anybody  with  a  himger  to  know  the 
contents  of  that  package  should  ask  to  take  a  little 
peep — why,  there's  no  harm  in  letting  them." 

"All  right.  ]\rr.  McElroy."  said  the  versatile  Abe, 
grinning.  ' '  I  almost  thought  myself,  that  that  was  a 
fake  package  and  that  you  was  putting  up  a  bluff, 
filing  a  lien  on  it." 


212  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"No,  sir!"  said  the  lawyer  emphatically,  "there's 
no  bluff." 

An  odd  scene  was  enacted  in  the  express  office  that 
night,  when,  behind  closed  doors  and  curtained  win- 
dows, the  protesting  Abe  brought  forth  the  sealed 
package,  and  with  infinite  care,  Azariah  and  his  wife 
lifted  the  seals  and  opened  one  end  of  it.  There  they 
were,  one  hundred  engraved  sheets,  each  compactly 
folded  and  indorsed — nobody  in  the  world  could  imi- 
tate the  expensive  engraving,  or  the  trembling  indorse- 
ment of  Uncle  "Wiliam  on  each  one.  Convinced,  they 
stole  away,  and  the  expressman  made  an  artistic  job 
in  restoring  the  violated  package  to  its  original  con- 
dition. 

Mrs.  Smith  made  a  hurried  journey  to  the  county 
seat  the  next  day,  and  did  a  vast  deal  of  business  with 
banks  and  other  financial  institutions.  When  she  came 
back,  she  sent  for  IMr.  Thomas  IMcElroy  and  with 
averted  face,  drew  check  after  check,  each  for  the 
amount  of  a  judgment  with  interest,  for  which  ]\Ir. 
]\IcElroy  promptly  signed  releases  and  acknowledg- 
ments of  payment,  which  would  permit  of  expunging 
the  judgments  from  the  records.  When  all  was  paid, 
the  lady,  holding  her  skirts  back  in  disdain,  opened 
the  door,  and  mentioned  the  single  word,  "Get!" 

"With  pleasure,  and  many  thanks  for  your  kind- 
ness in  rehabilitating  my  clients  in  that  which  your 
good  husband  stripped  them  of,"  said  Mr.  jMcElroy, 
and  departed  for  home  on  the  next  train. 

The  thing  leaked  out,  as  those  things  will. 

"Hear  how  'Bombproof  was  trapped?"  was  the 
question  propounded  in  Wortendyke.  "No?  Why, 
them  bank  shares  that  come  by  express  that  the  mis- 
sus put  up  the  dough  to  get  out  of  limbo — let  me  laugh 
— was — oh,  yes,  they  was  bank  shares  all  right — but — 
they  w'as  shares  of  a  bank  that  had  been  busted  for  20 
years ! ' ' 

And  the  chastened  "Bombproof,"  his  armor 
pierced,  never  made  a  peep. 


STOVER,  THE  RESOURCEFUL 

BY  IJNCOLN  M.   STEARNS. 

Simeon  Abbott,  cabinet  maker,  when  a  yoimg  man, 
had  come  to  Westopolis  from  New  England.  Big  of 
frame,  a  hard  worker,  with  considerable  mechanical 
ingenuity,  and  a  man  of  his  word  even  in  small  things, 
he  soon  had  a  shop  of  his  own  in  the  growing  city  ;  and 
when  in  the  west  there  arose  a  demand  for  better  school 
appointments,  he  saw  the  opportunity  and  formed  the 
Abbott  School  Desk  Company.  The  company  built 
good  desks,  employed  resourceful  salesmen,  cheerfully 
allowed  heavy  expense  accounts,  charged  ample  prices, 
and  as  a  result  Mr.  Abbott  made  a  comfortable  for- 
tune, considering  time  and  place.  The  active  man- 
agement of  the  company  he  then  turned  over  to  his 
sons,  who  had  grown  up  in  the  business,  and  for  some 
months  Mr.  Abbott  lived  at  leisure.  But  30  years  of 
activity  had  unfitted  him  for  idleness,  and  not  wish- 
ing to  resume  the  headship  of  the  desk  business,  he 
sought  other  occupation.  I  do  not  know  what  turned 
his  thought  towards  banking ;  perhaps  it  was  the  desk 
company's  heavy  interest  payments  in  earlier  days, 
when  large  bank  accommodations  were  needed  to  en- 
able it  to  take  contracts  payable  in  scrip.  At  any  rate, 
the  "Old  Man,"  as  he  was  familiarly  called  (though' 
not  to  his  face)  bought  enough  State  Bank  stock  to 
give  him  a  seat  in  its  directory  and  became  such  a 
factor  in  the  bank's  increasing  success  that  in  a  few 
years  he  was  chosen  president  of  the  institution. 

For  some  time  I  had  been  a  stenographer  for  the 
desk  company  and  had  written  Mr.  Abbott's  personal 
letters.  His  dictations  were  crisp  to  brusqueness,  of 
a  piece  with  his  straightforward  dealing,  and  he  would 
often  say  to  me,  "Now,  you  tone  that  down  c.  little. 
You  know  how  to  put  it  so  it  won 't  sound  too  strong. ' ' 
I  must  have  suited  him,  for  when  he  became  president 

213 


214  Clever  Business  Sketches 

of  the  State  Bank  he  took  me  with  him  as  his  private 
secretary. 

At  that  time  the  bank  had  outgrown  its  quarters 
and  was  erecting  a  new  building.  The  fixtures  were 
to  include  a  burglar  proof  ssteel  vault,  on  which  sev- 
eral manufacturers  were  asked  to  submit  estimates. 
The  Climax  Safe  Company,  however,  was  not  invited 
to  compete,  although  it  had  an  agent  in  Westopolis. 
When  this  man  learned  that  his  company  had  been 
ignored,  he  came  to  see  Mr.  Abbott,  but  the  Old  Man 
gave  him  scant  comfort.  "We  want  a  first-class  job," 
said  the  Old  Man,  "and  I  understand  that  your  peo- 
ple have  not  built  any  large  work  of  this  kind.  We 
cannot  afford  to  take  any  chances."  The  agent's  at- 
tempts to  argue  or  explain  were  useless.  The  Old 
Man  only  said:  "You'll  have  to  excuse  me.  I  am 
very  busy." 

A  few  days  later  I  was  called  from  the  private  of- 
fice to  meet  a  stranger  who  introduced  himself  as 
John  Stover,  sales  manager  for  the  Climax  Safe  Com- 
pany. In  those  days  I  was  the  Old  Man's  buffer,  and 
it  fell  to  me  to  separate  the  sheep  from  the  goats,  by 
suavely  explaining  to  the  latter  that  Mr.  Abbott  was 
just  then  engaged  on  matters  of  urgency,  and  refer- 
ring them  to  the  cashier,  or  by  some  other  equally  po- 
lite evasion.  But  Stover  was  so  pleasantly  insistent 
that  I  saw  time  would  be  saved  by  yielding,  and  led 
him  into  the  private  office. 

"Well,  sir!"  demanded  the  Old  Man,  when  I  had 
introduced  Stover  and  mentioned  the  Climax  Safe 
Company. 

"I  have  called,  Mr.  Abbott,"  said  Stover,  "to  see 
you  in  regard  to  your  steel  vault." 

"1  told  your  agent  that  Ave  did  not  want  a  bid  from 
your  company,"  snapped  the  Old  Man,  and  turned  to 
his  desk  as  if  ending  the  interview. 

But  Stover  held  his  ground.  He  took  a  deep  breath, 
and  the  muscles  at  the  base  of  his  jaw  showed  lumpy. 
His  black  eyes  opened  a  little  wider,  and  he  flushed  a 
trifle.  I  looked  for  an  explosion,  for  Stover  seemed 
to  be  a  man  who  would  not  submit  to  rough  handling; 


stover,  the  Resourceful  215 

but  whpn  he  spoke  his  voice  was  smooth  and  even,  not 
loud,  but  with  a  repressed  sonorousness  that  I  have 
reniarkod  in  men  speaking  under  excitement,  but  who 
were  still  self-controlled.  The  Old  Man  had  to  listen 
when  he  heard  that  tone. 

Said  Stover:  "Mr.  Abbott,  I  am  here  because  our 
local  man  seems  unable  to  secure  consideration.  I  am 
sure  there  is  some  misunderstanding,  and  that  you  do 
not  intend  to  discredit  a  reputable  house.  From  what 
our  agent  tells  me,  I  judge  that  you  have  been  misin- 
formed as  to  what  we  are  able  to  do.  It  is  true  that 
we  have  not  yet  built  any  very  large  burglar  vaults, 
but  as  a  matter  of  fact  we  have  made  a  closer  study 
of  burglar  construction  than  anyone  else  in  the  busi- 
ness. We  have  moved  slowly  in  this  branch  of  the 
work,  but  we  are  today  prepared  to  execute  the  largest 
contracts,  and  I  can  demonstrate  this  if  you  will  give 
me  a  hearing.  You  seem  to  be  busy  just  now,  and  I 
shall  be  glad  to  call  again  at  any  time  that  you  may 
name ;  but  I  think  you  will  agree  with  me  that  it  is 
no  more  than  business  courtesy  that  we  should  at  least 
be  heard.  You  have  had  men  on  the  road,  and  if  any 
of  them  had  been  refused  even  a  chance  to  bid,  on  the 
ground  that  the  Abbott  Desk  Company  was  incom- 
petent, I  am  sure  the  first  train  would  have  taken  you 
to  the  spot,  and  that — ^you — would — have — secured — 
consideration. ' ' 

•  During  this  rather  long  speech  the  Old  Man's  face 
was  a  study.  Like  all  men  of  strong  character,  his 
temper  was  likewise,  and  it  often  needed  an  effort  for 
him  to  check  it  in  the  face  of  decided  opposition, 
though  he  was  fair  and  just  when  given  time  to  re- 
flect. When  Stover  began  the  Old  Man  had  wheeled 
to  face  him,  and  several  times  seemed  about  to  inter- 
rupt. But  Stover  had  kept  on,  measuring  his  words, 
but  never  halting,  and  with  that  something  in  his  voice 
which  intimated  that  he,  too,  was  a  man  of  temper; 
and  by  the  time  he  had  finished  the  Old  I\Ian  was  lis- 
tening without  impatience,  and  a  grim  half  smile 
flickered  over  his  face  at  the  implied  tribute  of 
Stover's  last  words.    Nevertheless,  it  was  not  the  Old 


216  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Man's  way  to  instantly  admit  a  inistakc.  I  remember 
one  clerk  who  got  a  nice  raise  in  salary  a  few  days 
after  the  Old  Man  had  unjustly  censured  him,  but 
it  was  not  of  record  that  ]Mr.  Abbott  made  other  ac- 
knowledgment of  his  error.  So  all  that  the  Old  Man 
said  now,  was  ' '  Well,  come  in  tomorrow  morning  and 
we'll  see." 

"When  Stover  came  the  next  day  Mr,  Abbott  was 
quite  polite,  but  to  me  who  knew  him  there  was  in  his 
manner  that  which  said:  "It's  my  turn  today." 
After  a  few  words  had  been  exchanged,  he  suddenly 
asked  Stover,  as  if  to  take  him  unaware:  "How  thick 
should  a  steel  vault  be  to  be  absolutely  safe?"  A  sim- 
ple question.  Too  simple.  Stover  had  claimed  that 
his  company  knew  more  about  steel  vault  construction 
than  its  competitors,  and  his  answer  would  probably 
settle  the  Old  IMan's  opinion  of  that  sweeping  claim. 
I  am  sure  Stover  grasped  this,  but  without  any  ap- 
parent hesitation,  he  unconcernedly  smiled  back,  "Two 
and  a  half  inches," 

"What!"  jerked  the  Old  Man,  "two  and  a  half 
inches?" 

"Yes." 

A  second's  silence,  and  then  from  the  Old  Man: 
"Isn't  one  inch  and  a  half  safe?" 

"It  is  considered  safe  by  some,  but  you  asked  me 
how  thick  it  should  be  to  be  absolutely  safe,  and  I  say 
two  and  a  half  inches.  Now  we  all  know  that  an  inch 
and  a  half  has  been  the  standard  thickness,  and  if 
everyone  in  the  vault  business  and  every  banker  knows 
this,  isn't  it  fair  to  assume  that  it  is  also  kno\\Ti  to  the 
average  cracksman?  He  naturally  prepares  his  tools 
and  arranges  his  time  to  go  through  a  wall  one  and 
a  half  inches  thick.  But  if  it  is  an  inch  thicker  he 
finds  himself  at  fault.  He  probably  has  not  allowed 
enough  time.  He  gets  rattled  and  gives  it  up.  That 
is  why  I  say  that  two  and  a  half  inches  is  absolutely 
safe." 

The  Old  Man  was  much  impressed.  Stover  had  es- 
tablished himself,  and  at  the  same  time  had  shaken 
Mr.  Abbott's  confidence  in  the  other  competitors,  for 


stover,  the  Resourceful  217 

they  all  had  recommended  one  and  one-half  inch  walls, 
which  Stover  had  shrewdly  assumed.  The  talk  that 
followed  is  not  part  of  this  tale.  Suffice  it  to  say  that 
Mr.  Abbott  sent  woi-d  to  all  bidders  that  he  wanted 
proposals  on  two  and  one-half  inch  walls,  and  in  racing 
parlance  it  was  now  "Stover  against  the  field,  with 
odds  on  Stover." 

The  bids  were  opened  at  a  session  of  the  directors. 
After  listening  for  a  half  hour  to  the  reading  of  tech- 
nical explanations,  they  unanimously  voted  to  let  Mr. 
Abbott  award  the  contract. 

For  several  da3s  the  Old  ]\Ian  studied  specifications, 
looked  over  drawings,  examined  samples,  mastered  the 
mechanism  of  locking  apparatus,  and  listened  while" 
six  bright  salesmen  in  turn  explained  just  why  his 
proposal  was  the  best.  It  was  the  hardest  work  the 
Old  Man  had  done  for  a  long  time.  Stover's  turn 
came  last  of  all,  at  his  request.  We  went  to  the  Palace 
hotel  to  see  his  samples,  but  he  did  not  weary  the  Old 
Man  with  shop  talk.  lie  said:  "There  are  my  sam- 
ples. What  you  don't  know  about  vault  work  by  this 
time  isn't  worth  knowing,  and  you  can  judge  for 
5'ourself."  And  then  for  nearly  two  hours  Stover 
told  us  good  stories,  Avith  a  few  words  of  business  sand- 
wiched in.  It  rested  the  Old  Man,  and  confirmed  his 
opinion  that  the  Climax  Company  had  the  best  goods. 

Mr.  Abbott,  however,  w'as  slow  in  deciding.  It  was 
plain  to  see  that  he  wanted  to  give  Stover  the  order, 
but  the  Climax  bid  was  the  highest  of  all  by  quite  a 
sum,  and  the  Old  ]\Ian  spent  other  people's  money 
carefully.  Finally  he  told  all  bidders  that  he  would 
announce  his   decision  the   following   Saturday. 

On  Fridaj'  something  happened.  With  no  reason 
except  unreasoning  fear  and  panic,  if  they  can  be 
called  a  reason,  a  "run"  began  on  the  State  Bank. 
The  institution  was  sound ;  its  loans  conservative.  But 
all  day  Friday  our  paying  tellers  shoved  cash  through 
the  wickets,  while  the  line  in  the  lobby  grew  steadily 
longer,  and  gradually  changed  to  a  pushing,  jostling 
crowd,  covering  the  sidewalk  as  well,  and  requiring 
several  policemen  to  maintain  order.     We  paid  out 


218  Clever  Business  Sketches 

large  sums  that  day,  but  at  closing  time  the  throng 
was  no  smaller.  In  vain  had  the  Old  Man,  our  cashier, 
and  several  of  the  directors  mingled  with  the  crowd, 
buttonholing  large  depositors  and  giving  personal  as- 
surances of  the  bank's  strength.  Nor  did  it  avail  that 
■we  hung  in  prominent  places  within  and  without  the 
building  placards  stating  unequivocally  that  the  bank 
■was  able  to  pay  dollar  for  dollar.  Some  of  the  heavier 
depositors  frankly  said  that  they  believed  the  bank  was 
sound,  but  that  no  bank  could  withstand  such  a  run, 
and  that  they  would  withdraw  while  they  could.  In  a 
measure  they  were  right,  for  no  bank  can  instantly  pay 
all  depositors.  Banks  live  by  their  loans,  and  how 
many  borrowers  can  pay  on  demand? 

We  wired  our  New  York  and  Chicago  correspond- 
ents to  express  us  our  balance  in  currency.  The  ship- 
ment from  New  York  could  not  reach  Wcstopolis  until 
Sunday,  but  that  from  Chicago  would  come  in  time  to 
fortify  us  for  Saturday.  The  other  Westopolis  banks 
would  have  gladly  advanced  us  some  cash,  but  feared 
to  weaken  themselves  at  a  time  when  they  might  need 
all  their  resources.  Such  was  the  friendship  of  some 
of  our  business  men  for  the  Old  IMan,  however,  that 
several  of  them  who  owed  us  money  not  yet  due  vol- 
untarily anticipated  payment  of  all  or  part.  ' '  Things 
like  this,"  said  the  Old  Man,  "keep  up  my  faith  in 
human  nature." 

On  Saturday  the  run  continued,  and  by  ten  o'clock 
the  outlook  was  desperate.  We  closed  at  twelve  on 
Saturdays,  and  could  last  the  day,  but  the  end  would 
come  Monday  unless  the  run  abated. 

The  Old  Man  chewed  an  unlit  cigar  and  paced  the 
private  office.  While  walking  the  floor  he  dictated  to 
me  a  notice  to  be  printed  in  the  Westopolis  Evening 
Post.  The  peril  of  the  bank  had  caused  us  to  forget 
that  this  was  the  day  on  which  the  vault  contract  was 
to  be  awarded,  and  none  of  the  vault  salesmen  had 
come  to  remind  us  of  it.  But  as  I  was  typewriting  the 
nStice  which  the  Old  IMan  had  just  dictated.  Stover 
entered.  IMr.  Abbott  greeted  him  cordially,  but  said: 
"You  see  there  is  no  use  talking  vaults  today,  Mr. 


stover,  the  Resourceful  219 

Stover.  It  doesn  't  look  as  if  we  would  ever  ^eed  one. 
I  guess  the  other  vault  men  feel  that  way,  for  none  of 
them  have  been  near  us  since,  the  run  began,  and  I 
guess  you  are  not  hankering  after  the  order  yourself. " 
Stover  replied :  "Will  you  give  me  the  order?"  The 
Old  Man  appeared  surprised  at  this  question,  and  also 
pleased,  but  shook  his  head.  "I  don't  know  that  I 
could  give  you  the  order  even  if  we  buy.  You  are  the 
highest  bidder  by  nearly  10  per  cent.  But  if  you  were 
the  lowest  bidder,  it  wouldn't  make  much  difference. 
To  show  you  how  things  stand  I  want  Fred  here  to 
read  you  what  I  have  just  dictated."    And  I  read: 

' '  To  the  Depositors  of  the  State  Bank :  As  a  proof 
of  my  confidence  in  the  absolute  soundness  of  the 
State  Bank,  I  hereby  publicly  pledge  my  personal  for- 
tune to  each  and  every  depositor  as  a  guaranty  that 
every  dollar  owed  by  this  bank  will  be  paid  in  full. ' ' 

(Signed)  .  Simeon  Abbott. 

"When  I  have  to  do  this,"  continued  the  Old  Man, 
"you  can  see  that  things  are — well,  uncertain.  1  hope 
we  shall  pull  through.  If  people  will  calm  down  and 
get  a  little  sense  between  now  and  IMonday  we  shall 
be  all  right.  But  if  not — "  and  the  Old  Man  dropped 
into  his  chair  and  was  silent. 

Stover  reflected  a  few  seconds,  drew  a  chair  to  the 
desk,  seized  a  pad  and  wrote  rapidly.  When  he  had 
finished  writing  he  asked:  "Do  you  ever  play  cards, 
Mr.  Abbott  ? ' '  and  then  went  on  without  waiting  for  a 
reply  from  the  astonished  Deacon  Abbott.  "The  best 
card  in  the  deck,  you  know,  is  the  joker.  It  beats  any 
trump.  Your  card  for  the  Post  is  certainly  a  trump, 
and  it  ought  to  win.  But  while  you're  doing  it,  why 
not  play  the  joker  ?  Suppose  you  also  put  this  in  the 
Post,  as  a  news  item. ' '    And  Stover  read : 

"We  learn  that  the  State  Bank  this  morning  or- 
dered the  steel  burglar  proof  vault  for  its  new  build- 
ing. It  will  be  the  largest  and  finest  west  of  Chicago, 
and  will  be  installed  by  the  Climax  Safe  Company,  of 
Toledo,  Ohio,  at  a  cost  of  over  $12,000.  It  is  said  that 
the  Climax  Company's  price  was  the  highest,  but  the 


220  Clever  Business  Sketches 

bank  intends  to  have  the  best  equipment  that  can  be 
bought. ' ' 

The  Old  Man  seized  Stover's  hand  (for  the  Old  Man 
was  never  accused  of  being  slow  of  comprehension) 
and  said:  ''I  guess  that  is  the  joker."  Then,  turn- 
ing to  me,  "Fred,  you  take  this  down  to  the  Post  with 
the  other  notice." 

Six  months  later  we  held  a  reception  on  our  first  day 
in  the  new  building,  and  Stover  w^as  there,  by  the  Old 
Man's  special  request,  to  explain  to  visitors  the  won- 
ders of  the  burglar-proof  vault — "the  best  west  of 
Chicago." 


THE  BEST  POLICY  AFTER  ALL. 

11 V    \V.    VV.    WOODBRIDGE. 

The  door  closed  softly.  It  was  some  minutes  before 
the  man  at  the  desk  looked  up  from  the  pile  of  letters 
he  held. 

' '  Clif ! "  he  exclaimed.    * '  You  here  ? ' ' 
,     The  other,  a  youth  of  eighteen,  stood  silently  before 
him,  one  hand  still  on  the  knob  of  the  door.    His  lips 
trembled  and  tears  shone  bright  in  his  eyes.     They 
were  brothers. 

"I'm  discharged,"  sobbed  the  youth,  sinking  into 
a  chair,  crossing  his  arms  on  the  stenographer's  slide 
and  sobbing  like  a  child.  The  expression  in  the  deep 
gray  eyes  of  the  man  at  the  desk  grew  tender,  and  he 
gently  placed  his  arm  over  the  shaking  shoulders  of 
his  younger  brother. 

' '  Come, ' '  he  said.    ' '  Tell  me  about  it. ' ' 

' '  There 's  not  much  to  tell, ' '  sobbed  the  other.  ' '  My 
first  month  would  have  been  up  tomorrow,  and  I — " 
His  sobs  interrupted  him.    After  a  time  he  continued. 

"It  was  like  this.  There  was  a  man  that  kept  call- 
ing round,  and  the  boss  got  tired  of  his  coming,  and 
told  me  to  tell  him  next  time  he  came  that  he  was  out. 
I  can 't  lie,  Bob,  I  couldn  't  be  a  liar ;  so  when  the  man 
dropped  in  next  time,  I  just  said  the  boss  couldn't  see 
him.  When  he  asked  me  why,  I  stammered  out  some- 
thing, and  then  he  walked  right  into  the  inner  office 
unannounced.  The  boss  blew  me  sky  high  when  he 
got  at  me  after  the  man  had  gone,  and  1  told  him 
straight  out  why  I  hadn't  told  the  lie — because  I 
couldn't.  He  got  red  in  the  face  and  told  me  that  a 
fool  knew  more  about  business  than  I  did,  and  that  a 
fool  would  make  a  better  business  man,  and  then  I 
lost  grip  on  myself  and  said  a  fool  would  were  the  fool 
a  liar.  With  that,  he  flew  up  and  said  he  wasn  't  used 
to  being  called  a  liar  by  a  snivelling  little  upstart  fresh 

221 


222  Clever  Business  Sketches 

from  Sunday  school,  and  sent  for  the  bookkeeper  and 
paid  me  off,  and " 

The  man  reached  down  into  a  lower  drawer  in  his 
desk,  selected  a  cigar,  lighted  it  and  sat  for  some  mo- 
ments in  silence,  watching  the  rings  of  smoke  drift 
up  towards  the  ceiling. 

"Well,"  he  said  finally,  "you  did  strike  a  hard  row 
of  stumps  for  a  beginner."  lie  laid  his  cigar  down 
and  leaned  back  in  the  great  leather  chair.  "Your  be- 
ginning and  mine  Avcre  pretty  different.  I  wasn't 
loaded  down  with  morals  w^hen  I  started  in,  but  ac- 
quired them  with  old  age.  I'll  never  forget  my  first 
job.  I  knew  just  about  as  much  about  work  as  you  do 
about  dishonesty.  I  was  good  and  green  from  college, 
and  college  can  give  a  man  about  as  thick  a  coat  of 
verdancy  as  any  place  I  know  of,  anyway,  if  he  ex- 
pects to  rub  up  against  the  money  prop.  My  idea  of 
getting  a  job  was  to  have  plenty  of  letters  of  recom- 
mendation, so  I  got  enough  to  bury  me.  The  faculty 
gave  me  one,  our  family  doctor  and  all  of  father's 
friends.  I  found  that  they  were  about  as  easy  to  catch 
as  the  measles  and  very  nearly  as  useful.  You  can  no 
no  more  tell  a  man's  character  by  the  letters  he  pre- 
sents than  you  can  tell  the  character  of  a  cheap  res- 
taurant dinner  by  the  menu  chalked  up  on  the  board 
in  front. 

"Well,  when  I  found  there  was  a  vacancy  in  the 
office  of  a  concern  that  my  father  had  had  some  deal- 
ings with,  I  went  to  'apply."  I  trembled  as  I  sat 
there  in  the  private  office,  and  began  to  realize  that 
it's  not  as  easy  as  it  looks  to  dinkey  a  man  into  giving 
you  the  place.  The  man  was  'self-made,'  with  the 
brand  yelling  at  you.  I  was  supposed  to  be  a  stenog- 
rapher, as  I  had  taken  a  correspondence  course — 
minus  the  study.  There's  no  better  way  to  learn 
stenography  than  to  take  one  of  these  courses  if  you'll 
•buckle  down  and  make  good,  but  I  wasn't  this  kind. 
I  had  the  theory  down  to  a  fine  edge,  but  had  no  more 
practice  than  an  eight-months'  lawyer. 

"I  was  sitting  across  the  desk  from  the  man  about 
like  you  are  now,  and  the  questions  he  put  to  me  would 


The  Best  Policy  after  All  223 

make  a  civil  service  examination  look  simple.  1  an- 
swered as  best  I  could,  and  what  I  didn't  know,  I 
guessed  at — and  I  don 't  believe  he  knew  the  difference. 
I  informed  him  what  a  great  thing  I  was,  and  how  I  'd 
mastered  the  curves  and  tiny  circles  quicker  than  any 
man  on  record.  I  told  him  of  the  smooth  flowing  hand 
I  wrote,  and  how  I  was  this,  and  wasn't  that  and 
wouldn't  be  the  other,  but !  He  began  to  be  im- 
pressed and  told  me  the  salary  was  small  to  begin 
with,  but  at  this  I  just  shrugged  my  shoulders  and 
told  him  the  salary  was  nothing  to  me ;  1  just  wanted 
to  show  him  what  I  could  do.  He  said  that  was  the 
proper  kind  of  talk  for  him,  and  that  he  would  expect 
great  things  from  me.  Then  I  knew  I  had  hooked 
my  fish,  but  after  the  hook  is  well  in,  the  trouble 
comes  in  landing.  He  asked  me  what  machine  I  used, 
and  I  think  I  said  McCormick's.  He  said  he'd  never 
heard  of  it,  and  wanted  to  know  about  the  keyboard. 
I  said  it  was  rather  peculiar,  but  I  could  soon  get  on 
to  his.  I'd  never  touched  a  typewriter  in  my  life! 
The  confab  ended  with  an  invite  to  call  around  Mon- 
day prepared  for  work. 

''I  turned  up  bright  and  early  first  of  the  week,  and 
brought  along  a  five-cent  note-book  and  pencil.     I  re- 
member the  bookkeeper  nudged  the  office-boy  and  they 
laughed  as  I  took  my  seat  before  the  machine  and  care- 
fully lifted  the  carriage.     I  ticked  the  type  up  and 
down,  once  or  twice,  and  then  had  to  ask  how  to  put  the 
paper  in.    That  bookkeeper  was  my  salvation !    He  is 
down  in  my  list  of  saints.    I  've  also  got  him  hired  in 
the  office  outside.    I  Imow  a  good  man  when  I  see  him, 
and  that  bookkeeper  is  one  of  the  best.    He  sat  there 
for  an  hour  and  taught  me  all  about  the  running  gear 
of  the  machine,  the  cleaning,  and  gave  me  a  general 
idea  as  to  fingering.     When  I  took  my  seat  again,  I 
was  well  aware  that  there  were  some  things  that  I  still 
had  to  learn.     When  the  boss  bolted  through  to  his 
little  den,  I  was  just  able  to  knock  off  'Yours  truly' 
correctly,  and  was  proud  that  I  could  do  it  so  soon. 
I  must  have  written  twenty  pages  of  'Yours  trulys,' 
and  the  boss  spoke  of  ho^n'  well  I  was  getting  onto  the 


224  Clever  Business  Sketches 

combination  of  the  new  machine.     This  was  my  first 
compliment,  and  1  blush  to  say  I  took  it 
A  customer  came  to  smile 

on  me — and  I  had  two  hours  more  to  play  with  the 
machine.  Finally  the  buzzer- rang  me  up,  and  he  gave 
me  a  list  of  about  five  hundred  envelopes  to  address. 
As  you  know,  I  write  a  fist  like  a  mackerel  and  the  pen 
I  had  to  use  sent  a  splutter  of  blots  before  it  as  I 
pushed  it  across  the  page.  The  bookkeeper  was  at 
dinner,  and  I  didn't  know  Avhere  to  find  a  new  one. 
I  wish  I  had  one  of  those  envelopes  to  show  you  now. 
The  boss  passed  through  the  office  after  I  had  about 
fifty  addressed  and  stopped  to  look  over  my  shoulder. 
I  heard  him  whistle  softly,  and  then  looked  on,  say- 
ing not  a  word  while  I  addressed  about  fifteen.  He 
said  he  wished  he  had  time  to  stay  longer  and  watch 
me  do  it,  but  would  doubtless  have  time  to  do  so  later. 
Then  he  reached  over  my  shoulder  and  tore  up  th^ 
whole  lot  I'd  addressed,  and  kindly  suggested  the  type- 
writer as  being  an  easier  way  of  doing  it.  The  book- 
keeper returned  and  found  me  nearly  in  despair,  and 
again  he  rescued  me.  1  read  off  the  names  and  he  ad- 
dressed, and  when  the  boss  returned,  there  was  a  neat 
pile  on  his  desk,  and  he  spoke  of  how  quickly  I  had 
done  the  work,  and  how  neatly,  and  I — lied  without 
saying  a  word. 

"Well,  that  was  my  last  lie,  the  very  last !  At  nights 
I  was  stud3'ing,  really  studying  on  that  course  in 
shorthand,  wrong.  The  lies  I  had  told  the  boss  on 
that  first  day  were  held  up  before  me  with  every  look 
he  gave  me.  I  found  he  was  making  inquiry  for  an- 
other man,  and  all  hope  left  me.  Just  before  the  be- 
ginning of  the  next  month,  and  I  was  sure  to  lose  out 
then,  the  boss  was  suddenly  and  seriously  taken  ill, 
and  I  had  to  stay  it  out  for  another  month.  There  was 
nothing  much  doing  in  the  office  for  myself  or  the 
bookkeeper,  so  he  set  in  to  help  a  drowning  man,  and 
I  learned  things.  By  the  time  the  boss  got  back,  I  was 
able  to  write  a  fairly  decent  letter,  but  lie — I'd  have 
died  before  I'd  told  one.  "When  my  friends  asked  me 
was  I  secretary  or  just  stenographer,  I  told  them  I 


The  Best  Policy  after  All  225 

was  an  incompetent  office-boy,  and  didn't  even  lay 
claim  to  filing  clerk. 

"So  this  is  the  way  I  found  the  policy  of  honesty — 
aside  from  the  question  of  right  and  wrong — was  well 
worth  the  while.  I  don't  think — in  fact  I  know  I 
haven't  told  a  lie  since,  and  it  pays  most  certainly. 
So  just  stick  to  it,  kid,  and  you'll  come  through  all 
right.  There  may  be  some  men  who  want  a  dishonest 
man  in  their  office,  but  those  men  find  that  it's  no 
cinch  to  keep  one  eye  on  the  correspondence  and  the 
other  eye  on  the  money  drawer.  There  is  not  time 
for  both.  Be  honest,  and  you  command  the  respect  of 
every  one,  but " 

He  paused  and  puffed  some  moments  in  silence. 

"It  was  a  hard  lesson  for  you,  but  I'm  glad  you 
were  discharged.  It's  o{)ened  your  eyes  to  some 
things,  and  it'll  help  you  in  business.  And  it  shows 
what's  in  you,  too.  Now,  I've  still  got  that  vacancy  I 
told  you  about  just  after  you  took  your  last  job.  It's 
not  much  to  begin  with,  but  if  you're  half  the  man  I 
think  you  and  half  the  man  you've  shown  yourself  to 
be,  we  may  be  able  to  raise  the  salary  a  trifle  before 
the  century  grows  too  old.  Go  on,  now,  stick  at  it, 
and  remember  that  I'm  bossing  this  joint  and  you're 
special  clerk  in  the  honesty  department." 

He  turned  again  to  the  pile  of  letters  before  him. 


HOW  JACK  CLOSED  THE  DEAL. 

BY   EDGAR   D.   PRICE. 

The  office  of  the  Stockwood  Lumber  Company  was 
fairly  buzzing.  The  specifications  for  a  year's  supply 
of  sawed  stuff  to  go  into  the  construction  of  an  enor- 
mous number  of  freight  and  passenger  ears  for  the 
N.  M.  &  K.  railroad,  had  come  in  l)y  the  late  mail  with 
a  "hurry  up"  request  attached,  and  IMr.  Goodsell,  the 
manager,  had  caused  the  clerks  to  drop  their  work  and, 
splitting  up  the  specifications,  set  them  to  figuring 
and  checking. 

The  Stockwood  company  had  never  caught  the  N.  M. 
&  K.  's  yearly  contract,  although  they  had  figured  close 
to  the  point  where  the  profits  were  slim  and  conjectu- 
ral several  times.  They  were  prepared,  too,  to  furnish 
clear  stuff  and  make  prompt  deliveries,  but  with  every- 
thing pointing  to  their  winning  out,  a  rival  concern  in 
Lakeport  had  steadily  got  the  business. 

Mr.  Goodsell  had  about  made  up  his  mind  that  it 
was  a  case  of  "pull,"  and  that  the  Lakeport  Planing 
Company  was  "greasing"  somebody  in  the  railroad 
offices,  but  he  was  game  and  determined  to  give  the 
Lakeport  folks  a  run  for  their  money  just  the  same. 

A  telegram  from  the  N.  M.  &  K.'s  purchasing  agent, 
punching  them  up  to  turn  in  their  figure,  rather 
roused  Mr.  Goodsell 's  ire. 

"I  see  plainly  how  it  is.  Jack,"  he  said  to  his  pri- 
vate secretary,  "that  skunk  Partridge  has  given  the 
Lakeport  people  plenty  of  time  and  has  their  figure 
worked  out  at  their  leisure.     Our  bid  and  others  is 
'rushed,'  thus  multiplying  the  chance  of  mistakes  and 
preventing  us  figuring  to  a  fine  point,  and  then  the 
business  is  given  year  after  year  to  our  rival." 
"It  does  look  so,"  said  the  secretary. 
"Well,"  said  the  manager,  "hold  the  boys  until 
the  bid  is  worked  out  and  checked,  and  then  telegraph 
226 


Eolv  Jack  Closed  the  Deal  227 

the  amouiot  to  Partridge  and  go  through  the  farce  of 
mailing  the  bill  of  particulars  at  your  leisure." 

"Pardon  mc,  Mr.  Oood.soll,"  said  the  si'cretary,  who 
had  not  been  with  the  Stoekwood  people  long,  "but 
would  it  not  be  better  for  some  one  to  run  up  to  Chi- 
cago and  attend  to  the  matter  personally?" 

"No,  it  wouldn't,"  said  the  manager  sharply,  with 
certain  sore  recollections.  "Twice  I  took  the  bid  in 
myself  and  was  permitted  to  cool  my  heels  in  an  ante- 
room for  an  hour  or  two  and  was  then  told  that  Par- 
tridge was  gone  for  the  day,  or  some  such  excuse,  and 
I  could  leave  my  bid  with  the  clerk." 

"That  was  hardly  polite,"  admitted  the  secretary. 
"I  think  had  I  took  the  bid  in  and  waited  around  that 
way  I  should  have  forced  myself  on  the  mighty  Par- 
tridge, willy-nilly,  and  taken  him  jolly  good  to  task 
for  his  manners!" 

"You  think  you  would?"  sneered  the  manager, 
vexed  at  this  criticism  by  his  secretary.  He  looked  the 
young  man  over.  Jack  Forbes  was  22,  with  a  mild 
blue  eye  and  a  rather  sleepy  air,  and  until  that  mo- 
ment had  never  showed  any  indications  of  belligerency 
in  his  character. 

"Your  ideas  of  railroad  purchasing  agents  are  'way 
off,"  said  the  manager,  more  mildly.  "They  are 
mighty  people,  who  must  be  waited  on  and  kow-towed 
to ;  they  are  buried  in  whole  suites  of  offices,  and  it  is 
as  much  as  your  life  is  worth  to  venture  in  unan- 
nounced, and  any  'freshness'  loses  you  your  chance 
at  the  business." 

"Your  forbearance  never  go^t  it  for  you,"  said  the 
secretary. 

"You  impudent "    Burning  words  were  at  the 

end  of  the  irritated  manager's  tongue  at  this  unex- 
pected and  wholly  unwarranted  criticism  from  his 
subordinate.    Then  a  sudden  thought  prevailed. 

"Young  man,"  he  said,  "I  am  going  to  give  you  a 
chance  to  ventilate  your  notions  of  the  correct  and 
proper  handling  of  purchasing  agents  and  the  secur- 
ing of  contracts.  You  have  barely  time  to  get  the  night 
express  if  The  boys  get  those  specifications  figured  by 


228  Clever  Business  Sketches 

eight  o'clock,  and  you  will  get  to  Chicago  by  eleven 
o'clock  tomorrow  morning.  See  Partridge — in  your 
can-opener  style — and  hand  him  the  bid  personally,  or 
don't  come  back," 

"All  right,"  said  Jack,  with  a  snap  of  the  lips, 
"I'll  do  it!" 

The  secretary  slept  tranquilly  during  the  long  night 
ride,  and  in  the  morning  he  made  an  elaborate  toilet 
and  partook  of  a  satisfying  breakfast.  He  made  up 
his  mind  not  to  tackle  the  great  Partridge  until  after 
luncheon,  on  the  theory  that  men  are  more  affable 
when  they  are  stuffed,  and,  accordii  oly,  it  was  after 
two  o'clock  when  he  walked  into  the  offices  of  the 
N.  M.  &  K.  railroad. 

"Huh!  at  last,"  snuffed  the  clerk  to  whom  he  pre- 
sented his  card.  "You'll  have  to  wait  your  turn,  Mr. 
— er — Forbes,  for  Mr.  Collins  of  the  Lakeport  com- 
pany is  with  Mr.  Partridge  now."  This  last  with  a 
grin  of  much  meaning. 

Jack,  unruffled,  sat  down  in  the  anteroom  and 
waited — five  minutes.  A  familiar  sound  from  the 
inner  office  kept  drumming  in  his  ears — biff !  biff  I  biff ! 
Truly  an  odd  noise  to  be  coming  from  the  busy  office 
of  a  purchasing  agent  of  a  great  railroad.  Calmly  and 
without  haste,  Jack  got  up  and  deliberately  opened 
the  gate  of  the  railed  inclosure  full  of  clerks,  walked 
to  the  door  of  the  P.  A.  's  private  room  and,  opening 
it,  entered. 

* '  I  punch  the  bag  some  myself, ' '  he  remarked,  as  he 
closed  the  door. 

The  scene  was  a  singular  one.  The  great  man  and 
his  visitor  were  stripped  to  the  shirt  and  hammering 
by  turns  a  first-class  punching  bag.  Around  the  room 
were  all  sorts  of  athletic  appliances — a  perfect  gym- 
nasium in  miniature.  Jack  had  found  out  the  great 
man 's  foible — athletics. 

"Well,  I'll  be ,"  gasped  the  purchasing  agent, 

aghast  at  this  unwarranted  invasion,  "what's  thu 
matter  with  that  bunch  of  clerks  that  1  can't  be  pro- 
tected from  intrusion?" 

"They  didn't  have  time  to  stop  me,  and  if  they  had 


Uow  Jack  Closed  the  Deal  229 

tried  I  would  have  punched  them,"  said  the  blue- 
eyed  Forbes. 

* '  Iley — what  ?  I  like  your  nerve,  young  man  ;  what 
do  you  want  with  me?" 

"I  want  to  give  you  the  Stoekwood's  figures  for 
your  sawed  stuff  for  a  year,  per  specifications,"  said 
Jack. 

"I  protest,"  said  Collins  of  the  Lakeport  company, 
speaking  for  the  first  time.  ''Mr.  Partridge  is  en- 
gaged with  me,  and " 

"Ila,  ha,  ha!  Here's  a  funny  thing,  Collins.  Your 
\)id  and  the  Stoekwood's  tie  to  a  dollar,"  said  the  pur- 
chasing agent,  who  had  rapidly  run  over  the  specifica- 
tions handed  him  by  Jack.  "Say,  boy,  you  say  you 
can  punch  the  bag,  suppose  you  peel  and  give  us  a 
taste  of  your  skill."  Collins  was  alarmed;  a  handy 
man  at  athletics  himself,  he  had  several  years  ago  in- 
gratiated himself  with  Partridge  on  this  score,  and 
had  actually  swung  the  yearly  contract  to  his  company 
on  the  strength  of  it.  On  such  small  pins  may  great 
matters  hang. 

Without  more  ado,  Jack  stripped  to  his  undershirt 
and  put  himself  under  the  frame.  He  was  an  artist 
at  the  punching  bag,  and  with  his  sleepy  air  all  gone 
he  proceeded  to  do  a  stunt  that  made  the  admirer  of 
athletics  cry,  "Bravo!"  while  Collins,  plainly  growing 
angry,  could  not  conceal  his  chagrin. 

A  notion  entered  the  purchasing  agent's  head  that 
gave  him  enormous  delight. 

"Collins,  old  fellow,"  he  cried,  "I'm  going  to  put 
that  contract  up  as  a  purse  for  you  two  fellows  to 
box  for,  and  the  best  man  shall  have  it.  What  do 
you  say?" 

The  angry  Collins  looked  his  adversary  over  and 
promptly  decided  to  go  in.  Forbes  was  a  lighter  man 
than  himself,  and  while  spry  at  bag  punching — well, 
boxing  was  another  matter. 

"I'll  go  you,"  he  said. 

Two  pairs  of  "mitts"  were  taken  down  from  the 
wall  and  the  great  man  helped  the  combatants  put 


230  Clever  Business  SketcJies 

them  on,  and,  backing  away  into  a  corner,  called, 
"Time!" 

Space  will  not  afford  a  minute  account  of  the  battle 
royal.  Jack  Forbes  say  before  him  the  triumph  of  his 
life,  and  Collins  perceived  his  possible  undoing  be- 
fore they  had  been  at  it  two  minutes.  Biff !  Punch ! 
Thump!  And  then  a  lot  of  "infighting,"  while  the 
purchasing  agent  danced  around  them,  first  commend- 
ing one  and  then  the  other. 

"Bang!'  A  blow  from  Forbes 's  glove  sent  Collins 
against  the  door  to  the  outer  office,  which  swung  open 
unheeded. 

Biff!  came  back  a  crack  that  swung  Jack  into  the 
form  of  the  purchasing  agent.  Silentlj-  the  wondering 
clerks  gathered  about  the  open  door,  while  the  two 
contestants  ducked  and  pummeled,  their  hoarse  breath- 
ing telling  of  their  fast-going  powers.  Suddenly  Jack 
cut  loose  in  one  last  mighty  effort  and  landed  a  blow 
under  Collins'  chin  as  that  person  came  one  heavily 
on  Jack's  ear.  Both  went  to  the  floor,  and  the  pur- 
chasing agent  began  to  count  in  true  prize-ring  style. 
Jack,  with  two  ghastly  black  eyes,  wobbled  to  his  feet, 
but  Collins  lay  still.    Jack  had  won! 

"  'Rah!  'rah!  Whoop!  Good  for  the  little  'im! 
Bravo!"  came  from  the  excited  clerks  crowding  the 
doorway,  and  ]\Ir.  Partridge,  noticing  them  for  the 
first  time,  pulled  himself  together  and  in  his  most  se- 
vere manner  ordered  them  back  to  work. 

"Jackson,"  he  added  to  the  head  clerk,  "you  will 
please  make  out  th(>  lumber  contract  in  the  name  of 
the  Stockwood  company  and  bring  it  in  to  me  to  sign, 
and — Jackson,  send  the  janitor  in  with  some  warm 
water. ' ' 

****** 

"I  guess  I've  lost  my  secretary,"  said  Mr.  Goodsell 
to  himself,  as  the  second  day  went  by  with  no  signs  of 
life  from  Forbes.    "I'm  sorry,  too,  for  he  is  as  smart 

as  a  whip,  if  a  trifle  fresh .    I  should  not  have  lost 

my  temper  and  given  him  that  ultimatum."  The 
manager's  attention  was  attracted  by  a  limping  figure 
coming  down  the  street  from  the  depot. 


Uow  Jack  Closed  the  Deal  231 

**Hello!  That  looks  like  him  coming  now,  but 
■what's  the  matter  with  him?  Heavens,  what  a  face!" 
as  Jack  turned  a  swollen  countenance  toward  him 
adorned  with  the  above-mentioned  black  eyes. 

"Here's  your  year's  contract,  Mr.  Goodsell ;  I  had 
to  lick  Collins,  the  Lakeport  man,  to  get  it,"  said 
Jack,  cheerfully. 

"The  devil  you  did!"  said  the  astounded  Goodsell. 


THE    STICKER. 

BY  EDGAR  DAYTON  PRICE. 

"Heigh-iio!"  yawned  Charley  Peterson,  sitting  up 
on  his  high  stool  in  the  office  of  the  Brilliant  Varnish 
Works  and  stretching  his  cramped  arms. 

"This  is  tough,"  he  sighed,  addressing  nobody  in 
particular.  ' '  A  tall  young  man  like  me,  made  for  the 
out-of-doors  and  hustle  a-plenty,  condemned  to  sit  on 
a  high  stool  and  make  out  unending  bills  for  varnish. ' ' 

"There  are  hundreds  of  young  fellows  who  would 
jump  for  that  high  stool  of  yours  if  it  should  chance 
to  become  vacant,"  said  the  book-keeper,  eyeing  the 
young  fellow  severely  over  his  spectacles. 

"It's  all  right — any  excuse  for  getting  a  start  with 
the  Brilliant,"  said  Charlie  hastily.  "I  suppose 
you've  got  to  creep  before  you  can  walk,  but  my  burn- 
ing ambition  is  to  get  out  and  sell  varnish — lots  of  it. 
Say,  Mr.  Goodsell,"  coaxingly,  "I've  been  here  three 
months  and  I'm  saturated  with  Brilliant  varnish.  I've 
got  BriUiant  varnish  on  my  trousers  and  Brilliant  var- 
nish in  my  hair,  and  I've  even  eaten  a  little  Brilliant 
varnish — can't  you  speak  a  good  word  for  me  and 
have  me  sent  on  the  road  on  trial?" 

The  book-keeper  sighed. 

"Ever  sell  anything?"  he  asked. 

"No-o,  I  haven't,"  admitted  Charlie.  "But  I 
know — ' ' 

"They  all  know,"  said  the  book-keeper.  "I  have 
seen  dozens  of  men  start  out  to  sell  varnish,  firmly 
convinced  that  they  had  it  in  them  to  dazzle  the  trade 
and  gobble  the  orders,  but  when  they  found  themselves 
up  against  the  men  from  about  a  hundred  competing 
houses,  just  as  good  as  the  Brilliant,  they  soon  lost 
heart,  began  to  sag,  and  then — off  went  their  heads." 

"You  talk  as  if  varnish  salesmen  were  born  and  not 
made,"  said  Charlie  doubtingly. 

"There's  something  born  in  thorn  that  makes  them 
salesmen,"  admitted  Goodsell,  "and  that  is — grit.  The 
S39 


The  Sticker  233 

varnish  business  is  peculiar;  you  can  get  a  working 
knowledge  ol'  it  in  a  month  sufficient  to  start  out  on  the 
road,  but  unless  you've  got  never-dying  grit,  you  may 
know  your  goods,  be  affable  and  all  that,  but  you'll 
fail." 

"I've  played  football,"  said  Charlie. 

"You  don't  go  at  folks  that  way,"  laughed  the  book- 
keeper, "you  just  stick  till  you  make  your  sale.  Talk- 
ing about  stickers,  I  recommend  J\Ir.  Flint,  our  presi- 
dent, as  a  pattern — he 's  the  best  salesman  in  the  busi- 
ness. ' ' 

"He  certainly  gets  fine  contracts,"  said  Charlie, 
who  saw  the  shipments  on  the  president's  contracts 
and  handsomely  billed  them.  "I've  never  seen  Mr. 
Flint ;  where  is  he  now  ? ' ' 

"On  his  vacation,  I  guess,"  said  the  book-keeper; 
"we  don't  see  much  of  him  around  here — he's  one  of 
your  kind,  made  for  out-of-doors."  The  subject  was 
dropped  and  the  tall  invoice  clerk  turned  to  his  task 
somewhat  enlightened. 

"1  can  stick  some — if  I'm  teased,"  he  muttered. 

There  were  opportunities  for  selling  varnish  and 
making  fat  contracts  in  the  Brilliant  office,  and  Mr. 
Goodsell,  the  book-keeper,  was  an  able  office  salesman. 
Many  of  the  customers  of  the  house  had  the  old-fash- 
ioned habit  of  journeying  to  the  works  to  make  their 
dickers,  expecting  and  never  failing  to  be  taken 
around  and  shown  the  varnish  in  the  making,  and — 
what  was  more  gratifying — enjoying  a  first  class  time 
at  the  expense  of  the  Brilliant  people.  Occasionally 
strangers  came  in,  and  their  method  of  treatment  had 
to  be  modified.  Once  Goodsell  knew  the  stranger's 
house,  its  size  and  varnish-buying  ability,  its  mercan- 
tile standing  and  its  reputation  for  paying,  he  hooked 
to  the  stranger,  talked  grades  and  prices,  brought  forth 
samples  by  the  dozen  and  did  business  on  its  merits 
until  he  landed  his  fish.  Every  visitor  was  handled 
according  to  his  peculiarities,  and  there  was  only  one 
unvarying  rule — not  to  let  him  escape  without  buying. 
A  record  was  kept  of  every  man  who  came  in  on  a 
varnish  quest,  and  there  had  to  be  explanations  to 


^^'^  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Mr.  Flint  if  a  good  possible  customer  slipped  away. 
When  a  representative  of  some  concern  which  had 
formerly  bought  Brilliant  varnish  but  had  gone  over 
to  a  competitor  came  in,  things  whirled  until  the  man 
renewed  his  allegiance  to  Brilliant,  and  time  and 
money  were  nothing. 

The  tall  young  man  making  out  bills  looked  at  all 
this  with  sharp  eyes  and  listened  with  long  ears.  In 
his  career  of  a  few  months  he  saw  plenty  of  examples 
of  "grit"  and  "stick,"  for  Goodsell  had  been  a 
heaven-born  salesman  himself  until  sickness  had  in- 
capacitated him  for  the  road.  In  his  noon  hours  and 
other  moments  of  leisure,  Charlie  fiddled  around  out- 
side in  the  works,  poking  his  nose  into  huge  kettles  and 
asking  endless  questions  of  grimy  varnish  boilers  and 
mixers,  with  all  of  whom  he  was  a  prime  favorite.  The 
chemists  liked  Charlie  and  guided  him  in  making 
practical  tests  of  varnish  at  his  boarding  house,  much 
to  the  landlady's  discomfort,  who  occasionally  ac- 
quired an  unwished-for  gloss,  from  messes  of  varnish 
left  carelessly  around. 

"Oh,  for  an  opportunity,"  sighed  Charlie,  filled 
with  all  this  lore.  "If  I  could  only  get  Goodsell  out 
sometime  and  make  one  good  capture,  maybe — " 
Charlie  didn't  know  it,  but  his  chance  was  coming. 

"There's  going  to  be  something  doing  this  week," 
said  the  book-keeper,  casually,  one  Monday  morning 
as  he  opened  the  mail.  "David  Abercrombic,  the  sec- 
retary of  the  International  Chair  Company,  writes  that 
he  expects  to  call  on  our  Mr.  Flint  in  relation  to  a 
contract  for  a  year's  supply  of  varnish.  The  Unex- 
celled people  got  the  International  away  from  us  last 
time — 500  barrels  of  fillers,  dipping  varnish  and  rub- 
bing varnish— about  $30,000  worth.  I  wish  Mr.  Flint 
was  here,  but — David's  got  to  place  that  contract  with 
the  Brilliant  this  time,  or  I'll  break  a  leg." 

"Whew!  $30,000  in  one  contract,"  said  Charlie, 
Avistfully. 

' '  Cheer  up, ' '  said  the  book-keeper  kindly.  * '  You  're 
doing  good  work,  and  when  Flint  comes  home  I'll 
speak  that  word  for  you." 


The  Sticker  235 

"Oh,  thank  yon,"  said  the  invoice  clerk,  overjoyed. 

Tuesday  and  Wednesday  passed,  and  no  Abererom- 
bie  came.  Thursday  and  Friday  likewise  effaced  them- 
selves from  the  calendar,  and  still  no  secretary  of  the 
International  Chair  Company.  The  book-keeper  was 
puzzled,  but  there  was  nothing  to  do  but  wait  on  Mr. 
Abercrombie's  pleasure.  Saturday  was  a  half-holiday 
in  the  sunnner  months,  and  this  pailieular  Saturday 
came  two  days  before  the  Fourth  of  July  which  fell 
on  Monday.  Goodsell  gave  the  matter  up  when  the 
gentleman  had  not  arrived  by  half-past  eleven  on  Sat- 
urday morning. 

"I'm  going  to  take  my  family  out  of  town  over  the 
Fourth,  Peterson,"  he  said  to  the  invoice  clerk  as  he 
put  on  his  coat.  Abercrombie  won't  bother  us  now 
until  after  the  holiday — if  he  bothers  us  at  all.  I'm 
afraid  the  Unexcelled  people  have  gobbled  him  again. ' ' 
The  going  of  Goodsell  was  the  signal  to  depopulate 
the  offices,  the  clerks  all  having  their  private  holiday 
business  to  attend  to,  and  in  ten  minutes,  Charlie,  who 
wanted  to  quit  with  a  clean  desk,  was  alone  in  his 
glory. 

"How  I  wish — "  began  Charlie.  His  wish  dealt 
with  the  recalcitrant  Abercrombie,  but  got  no  farther, 
for  the  door  banged  open,  and  a  well-dressed  man  of 
middle  age  came  in  breezily. 

' '  All  hands  gone  ? ' '  demanded  the  stranger,  pulling 
out  his  watch.    "Where's  Goodsell  or — " 

Charlies  fought  a  tendency  to  faint  away  and 
jumped  dow^n  from  his  stool. 

"Come  right  in,  Mr.  Abercrombie,"  he  said  pleas- 
antly, "we've  been  looking  for  you  all  week,  and  Mr. 
Goodsell  gave  you  up  ten  minutes  ago  and  went 
away." 

"Eh,  what?"  said  the  stranger,  looking  queerly. 
* '  Oh,  yes,  I  expected  to  get  here  before  this,  but  I  was 
detained.     Who  are  you?" 

"I'm  Mr.  Charles  Peterson,"  said  the  invoice  clerk. 
"Don't  let  the  fact  that  Mr.  Flint  and  Mr.  Goodsell 
are  away  bother  you,  for  I  am  conversant  with  the  sit- 


236  Clever  Business  Sketches 

uation  and  prepared  to  discuss  matters  right  to  the 
bottom. ' ' 

"Oh,  you  are?"  said  Mr.  Abercrombie.  He  spoke 
rather  crossly  and  Charlie  reflected  that  the  hour  of 
noon  was  not  the  time  to  plunge  for  a  $30,000  con- 
tract. He  mentally  figured  the  amount  of  money  in 
his  pocket  and  his  savings  in  a  drawer  in  the  safe ;  the 
total  was  %(i^. 

"I  was  just  about  going  to  limch,  Mr.  Abercrom- 
bie," he  said  cordially.     "Won't  you  join  me?" 

The  secretary  of  the  International  Chair  Company 
gazed  doubtfully  at  the  tall  young  man  before  him. 

"I  guess  I'll — "  he  began,  but  Charlie  had  his  hat 
and  coat  on  and  was  banging  the  safe  doors  to,  after 
extracting  his  wealth. 

"  'Never  take  no  for  an  answer,'  "  he  said,  and  led 
the  bewildered  Abercrombie  straight  to  the  Fanshaw 
House,  the  swellest  hotel  in  town. 

"Order  for  both,  please,"  said  Mr.  Peterson,  when 
they  were  comfortably  seated  under  a  big  electric  fan. 
Mr.  Abercrombie  had  apparently  yielded  to  the  situ- 
ation and  ordered  a  doul)le  porterhouse  with  mush- 
rooms, a  salad,  sundry  side  dishes  and  a  bottle  of  wine. 

"I  can't  join  you  there,"  said  Charlie,  honestly. 

"Eh?  You  a  varnish  man  and  not  drink  wine?" 
demanded  Abercrombie. 

"Yes,  sir,"  said  Charlie  stoutly.  The  secretary  for- 
bore any  more  comments  and  the  lunch  proceeded 
with  the  utmost  pleasantness.  Abercrombie  was  a 
good  guest  but  Charli(>  afterward  reflected  that  he  had 
done  most  of  the  talking  himself.  The  conversation 
touched  on  anything  but  varnish,  and  got  by  degrees 
around  to  colleges,  which  brought  up  football,  and 
Charlie  fought  half  a  dozen  games  over  again,  his  eyes 
snapping.  Dessert  came  and  went,  and  Charlie  called 
for  the  bill.  It  was  $12.60  and  he  paid  it  without  a 
blink. 

"You  must  have  had  some  plan  on  foot  for  the 
afternoon,"  said  the  International  man  as  they  left 
the  hotel. 

"Yes,  I  had,"  said  the  invoice  clerk.    "I  was  going 


The  Sticker  237 

to  a  quiet  place  about  30  miles  in  the  country  where 
they  have  a  dandy  golf  links — 18  hole — ever  play 
golf?" 

"Some,"  said  Abercrombie,  who  was  acting  ill  at 
ease  for  a  man  who  had  just  had  a  $12.60  lunch.  Sev- 
eral people  had  looked  at  him  as  if  about  to  speak, 
and  he  had  turned  his  head  abruptly. 

"Be  my  guest,"  said  Charlie,  his  heart  palpita- 
ting. 

"Whow!  It's  hot  in  this  town — glad  to  get  out  in 
the  country — quiet  golf  has  its  charms — guess  I'll  go 
you,"  said  Abercrombie  disjointedly,  turning  do^vTi  a 
side  street.  There  was  a  handy  train  and  the  pair 
journeyed  to  the  scene  of  rural  delight,  Mr.  Aber- 
crombie becoming  perceptibly  easier  as  the  miles  grew 
behind  them. 

"When  is  he  going  to  unbutton  about  that  $30,000 
contract?"  thought  the  invoice  clerk,  and  talked  in- 
terestingly himself  about  everything  else. 

The  afternoon  w^as  waning  when  they  arrived  at 
their  destination  and  a  cool  breeze  was  blowing.  Char- 
lie had  a  good  bag  of  sticks,  plenty  for  two,  and  they 
peeled  down  to  their  negligee  shirts,  lit  remarkably 
good  cigars  which  Abercrombie  produced,  and  set 
forth  over  the  course  which  abounded  in  natural  scen- 
ery. Abercrombie  was  easy  now,  and  happy  as  a  boy. 
Charlie  was  no  mean  hand  at  the  game  himself,  but 
here  was  a  man  w^ho  put  him  to  his  trumps.  The 
$30,000  contract  faded  for  the  present,  for  the  busi- 
ness of  his  life  just  then  was  to  beat  Abercrombie.  and 
the  two  went  out  and  in  over  the  18-hole  course  like 
a  pair  of  distinguished  generals  fighting  a  deadly  cam- 
paign. At  the  last  hole  they  stood  even  and  Charlie 
to  play.  He  sized  up  the  distance,  swung  his  club, 
steadied  his  beating  heart,  and — muffed.  Abercrom- 
bie made  his  play  and  holed. 

"Gad!  what  a  game!"  he  breathed,  while  Charlie 
grinned  ruefully. 

"Do  you  suppose  Mrs.  Flint's  in  town?"  asked  the 
secretary  suddenly.  * '  1 — I  'm  slightly  acquainted  with 
her,  and  perhaps  she — '* 


238  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Charlie's  man  was  going  to  get  away  from  him  and 
nothing  said  about  the  contract! 

"I  believe  she's  been  expecting  Mr.  Flint  to  re- 
turn, but  he  hasn't  come,  and  she's  at  one  of  her  mar- 
ried daughter's,"  said  Charlie,  fully  resolved  to  in- 
vite himself  along  if  Mr.  Abercrombie  persisted  in  his 
design. 

"Which  daughter?"  asked  Abercrombie.  Charlie 
couldn't  tell.  "Oh,  well,  it'll  keep,"  said  the  secre- 
tary, to  Charlie's  infinite  relief,  and  asked  about  the 
hotels  in  the  neighborhood  of  the  links. 

"There's  a  good  one  down  by  the  river,"  said  the 
bill  clerk,  dissembling  his  satisfaction,  and  led  the  way 
to  the  cosy  retreat  surroimdcd  by  willows,  where  they 
bathed  luxuriously  and  supped  without  a  recollection 
of  the  $12.60  lunch  in  the  middle  of  the  day. 

"Come  spend  the  evening  in  my  room,"  said  Aber- 
crombie cordially,  as  they  left  the  ta])le.  "I've  a  lit- 
tle proposition  to  nuike  which  I  think  will  fill  in  the 
time  pleasantly."  At  last  the  $30,000  contract! 
Seated  in  rocking  chairs,  smoking  some  of  Abercrom- 
bie's  fine  cigars,  that  gentleman  cleared  his  throat, 
and  said:  "Any  scruples  about  taking  a  hand  at 
cribbage  with  a  trifle  up  to  make  it  interesting?" 
Charlie  swallowed  a  cussword  and  admitted  that  he 
sometimes  indulged  in  the  game,  whereupon  the  sec- 
retary produced  a  peg-board  he  had  borrowed  from 
the  barkeeper  together  with  a  pack  of  cards,  and  with 
keen  enjoyment  whiled  the  hours  away  until  midnight, 
taking  Charlie's  dollars  from  him. 

"Good  night,  my  young  friend,"  said  Abercrom- 
bie. "I  am  a  busy  man  without  much  time  for  the 
frivolities,  and  I  want  to  thank  you  for  one  of  the 
happiest  days  I  ever  spent  in  my  life.  If  I  can  do 
anything  for  you  in  return,  command  me." 

If  he  could  do  anything  for  him !  Charlie  counted 
over  his  money  which  had  shrunk  from  $68  to  $29.40, 
for  he  had  paid  for  everything,  and  lost  over  $20  at 
cribbage  besides,  a  game  he  thought  he  could  play  un- 
til that  evening.  "Why  in  the  n;iine  of  sense  didn  't  the 
man  come  to  the  center  and  fight  it  out  about  that  con- 


The  Sticker  239 

tract?  That  would  be  doing  something  for  him.  Thus 
reflecting,  Charlie,  being  exceedingly  tired,  went  off 
to  sleep. 

The  next  day  was  Sunday  and  Abererombie  at 
breakfast  asked  Charlie  about  his  attitude  on  Sunday 
golf.  Charlie's  attitudes  displayt'd  itself  in  a  prompt 
challenge  to  set  forth,  and  he  proceeded  to  whip  his 
adversary  savagely  on  the  field  where  he  himself  had 
suffered  defeat  the  day  before.  Abererombie  chuckled 
and  was  hugely  delighted  at  the  outcome,  and  sug- 
gested church,  and  the  pair  hunted  up  a  place  of  wor- 
ship, denomination  unknown,  and  listened  to  a  vivid 
description  of  the  hereafter  of  those  who  broke  the 
Sabbath  by  playing  golf.     It  was  most  edifying. 

IMonday  was  the  Fourth  of  July  and  as  a  holiday 
a  failure,  for  it  was  raining  and  golf  was  not  prac- 
ticable. It  was  a  good  day  for  discussing  $30,000  con- 
tracts, thought  Charlie,  and  was  half  tempted  to 
broach  the  subject  and  learn  his  fate.  Somebody  said 
that  the  pickerel  were  biting  in  a  pond  not  far  away, 
and  Abererombie  hinted  that  he  hadn't  fished  in 
years.  There  is  no  better  place  in  tffe  world  to  talk 
business  than  a  boat  on  a  pond  on  a  rainy  day  with 
the  fish  biting,  so  Charlie  rose  to  the  hint,  borrowed 
a  couple  of  overcoats,  bought  bait,  hired  a  boat  and 
tackle  and  they  fished  royally  all  day  with  never  a 
word  about  varnish. 

On  Tuesday,  Charlie  omitted  to  go  back  to  the  in- 
voice desk  of  the  Brilliant  Varnish  Works,  and  in- 
stead, got  a  loan  on  his  watch  from  the  hotel  clerk 
and  hired  a  team  and  took  Mr.  Abererombie  driving 
over  some  beautiful  country.  The  secretary  of  the 
International  Chair  Company  Avas  charmed.  On 
Wednesday  they  fished  in  the  morning  and  golfed  in 
the  afternoon.  On  Thursday  the  same  in  every  par- 
ticular. On  Friday,  Charlie  was  confronted  with  the 
fact  that  he  was  broke,  probably  out  of  a  job  and  30 
miles  from  home,  and  listened  with  joy  to  a  wild  prop- 
osition of  Abererombie  to  walk  in  and  take  the  day 
to  it. 

They  walked,  and  Abererombie  suddenly  recalled 


240  Clever  Business  Sketches 

the  object  of  his  visit  to  the  Brilliant  Varnish  Works. 
Fillers,  dipping  varnish  and  rubbing  varnish,  prices, 
terms,  the  faults  of  the  varnishes  in  the  past,  the 
faults  in  shipping  and  twenty  other  phases  were  re- 
viewed, and  Charlie  fought  manfully  for  his  firm. 
Abercrombie  knew  what  he  was  talking  about,  Charlie 
could  see  it,  and  when  the  secretary  coaxed  him  along 
to  the  subject  of  varnish  manufacture  and  tests,  Char- 
lie gave  himself  free  rein  and  turned  himself  inside 
out  with  a  flood  of  eloquence  in  favor  of  Brilliant  var- 
nishes over  all  the  rest  of  the  varnishes  in  the  world, 
which  would  have  amazed  Goodsell  if  he  could  have 
heard  it.  _ 

"The  Unexcelled  people  beat  the  Brilliant  folks 
in  one  respect,"  said  Abercrombie,  "their  salesmen 
are  more  persistent.  They  have  had  a  man  at  the 
International  factory  for  three  days,  fighting  for  a 
renewal  of  the  contract,  and  now  that  I  Ve  heard  both 
sides,  I  think  I  will  give  the  contract  to  that  persistent 
fellow." 

The  young  man  tramping  at  Mr.  Abercrombie 's  side 
loomed  about  ^ven  feet  tall  as  he  delivered  his  ulti- 
matum. 

"Mr.  Abercrombie,"  he  said,  "if  persistence  is  what 
appeals  to  you,  I  have  stuck  to  you  for  a  solid  week, 
waiting  for  you  to  broach  the  varnish  subject.  I  am 
going  to  stick  to  you  like  an  old  man  of  the  mountain 
and  talk  Brilliant  varnish  until  I  get  that  contract. 
If  I  die  before  I  get  it,  my  ghost  will  walk  beside  you 
until  the  contract  is  handed  in.  That  contract  is 
righteously  the  property  of  the  Brilliant  Varnish 
Works  and  if  you  had  talked  to  Robert  Flint,  you 
would  have  given  it  to  him,  you  know  you  would,  for 
he  has  got  the  varnish  world  skinned  when  it  comes 
to  persistence.    Now,  T  want  that  contract!" 

"Oh,  take  the  blamed  contract,  Mr.  Charles  Peter- 
son," said  Abercrombie,  "I  guess  I've  drawn  you  out 
enough." 

"Shake!"  roared  that  gentleman  and  wrung  Mr. 
Abercrombie 's  hand. 

"I've   got   it!     I've   got   it!"   declaimed   Charlie, 


The  Sticker  241 

bouncing  into  the  quiet  offices  of  the  Brilliant  Var- 
nish Works  on  Saturday  morning. 

"Got  what?"  asked  Goodsell  severely.  "The  jim- 
jams  ? ' ' 

"The  International  $30,000  contract!"  shouted  the 
invoice  clerk. 

"Nonsense!"  said  the  book-keeper.  "Mr.  Flint  got 
wind  that  Abercrombie  was  coming,  and  he  stopped 
off  and  saw  Abercrombie,  beat  the  Unexcelled,  horse, 
foot  and  dragoons,  and  got  the  contract!" 

"Wh — wh — who  in  blazes  have  I  been  sticking  to 
like  a  leech  for  the  last  week,  thinking  it  was  Aber- 
crombie?" asked  Charlie,  with  a  dismal  vision  of  a 
good  $100  gone  to  the  bad. 

"Mr.  Flint's  back  and  wants  to  see  you,"  said  the 
book-keeper  curtly.  Sadly  the  tall  young  fellow  made 
his  way  to  the  private  offices,  where  Mr.  Flint  was 
busily  dictating  letters.  The  voice  sounded  familiar 
to  the  invoice  clerk — where  had  he  heard  it?  He 
twisted  the  door  knob  and  walked  in. 

"Hello,  you  sticking-plaster,  IMr.  Charles  Peterson, 
I  hear  you're  suffering  to  go  on  the  road  and  sell  var- 
nish," said  Mr.  Flint,  smiling  amiably.  "Well,  try  it 
at  $2,000  a  year  for  a  starter,  and — much  obliged  for 
my  happy  week!" 


THE  WYANDOTTE  SHARES 

BY  EDGAR  DAYTON  PRICE 

Old  Sherwin  passed  in  the  office  as  a  trifle — just 
a  trifle — crazy.  Not  that  it  manifested  itself  in  his 
work.  George  Sherwin  was  a  capable  and  accurate 
book-keeper,  and  the  books  over  which  he  toiled  for 
eight  hours  every  day  were  marvels  of  precision  and 
neatness. 

The  lack  of  sanity  showed  itself  in  the  old  man  in 
his  interest  in  stocks.  Feverishly  he  followed  the 
market,  keeping  tabs  on  50  or  60  stocks,  from  Western 
Union  and  Northern  Pacific  down  through  the  list 
to  the  "Industrials,"  some  of  which  lacked  a  footing 
on  the  stock  exchange.  A  $20  a  week  book-keeper 
without  a  spare  $10  bill  to  bless  himself  with,  going 
home  with  a  long  face  over  the  fact  that  some  stock 
had  dropped  10  points — of  course  he  was  a  bit  crazy. 

The  office  did  not  know  the  old  man's  history,  how 
in  his  younger  days  he  had  been  a  broker  on  the 
"street"  and  a  sharp  one,  how  ho  had  transgressed 
the  unwritten  rule  of  brokerage  never  to  speculate  on 
your  own  account,  how  he  had  made  one  of  those  wild 
successes  which  sometimes  last  a  fortnight,  and  how,  in 
the  windup,  the  market  cleaned  him  up  with  neatness 
and  dispatch  and  after  a  week  of  frantic  fighting  to 
retrieve  himself  sent  him  to  his  bed  with  brain  fever. 

It  was  probable  that  during  the  heyday  of  his  suc- 
cess old  George  had  been  a  trifle  crazy.  The  brain 
fever  left  him  sane  enough,  without  any  outward  long- 
ing for  speculation  and  an  unimpaired  ability  to  keep 
books.  He  could  have  had  a  job  in  a  dozen  broker's 
offices,  keeping  the  complicated  records  of  the  stock 
business,  but  he  had  a  terror  of  the  game  and  went 
away,  to  turn  up  years  later  in  the  manufacturing 
town  where  we  find  him  keeping  books  at  $20  a  week 
for  the  Peebles  factory  of  the  Amalgamated  Button 
Company. 
242 


The  Wyandotte  Shares  243 

With  the  years  had  come  a  dulling  of  the  terror 
of  the  days  that  had  "wiped  him  out,"  and  the  old 
man  kept  sheets  on  the  market  and  did  an  imaginary 
business  in  Wall  Street.  lie  made  some  shrewd  guesses, 
too,  and  if  he  had  actually  margined  the  stocks  he  had 
slated  for  a  big  rise,  he  could  have  sold  out  a  rich 
man.  On  the  other  hand,  he  sometimes  missed  and 
the  favorite  stock  went  down.  Those  were  the  days 
he  went  home  with  a  long  face. 

There  was  quite  an  opportunity  right  in  town  for 
speculation  in  a  not  very  expensive  way  if  the  book- 
keeper had  had  the  money.  The  manufacturing  plants 
were  all  big  ones — cotton  mills,  steel  plants,  sewing 
machines,  agricultural  implements  and  so  on.  Not  a 
one  but  was  incorporated  with  stock  and  bonds  to 
sell,  some  of  the  securities  being  held  in  the  local  mar- 
ket at  a  few  cents  per  share.  Everybody  who  made 
a  little  over  their  necessities  bought  shares  of  some 
kind ;  all  the  employes  of  the  different  concerns  were 
privileged,  nay,  requested,  to  buy  preferred  stock  in 
their  employers'  businesses,  and  down-town  there  was 
a  place  where  local  stocks  Avere  bought  and  sold. 

There  are  possibilities  in  industrials,  even  at  a  few 
cents  per  share.  In  times  of  prosperity,  holders  of 
local  securities  received  dividends,  and  the  value  of 
their  holdings  soared.  The  shipping  clerk  in  the 
Peebles  factory  was  a  devotee  to  Consolidated  Loco- 
motive, the  Burnham  and  Barry  branch  of  which  was 
located  down  by  the  railroad,  and  one  day  he  came 
into  the  office  radiant  and  had  the  book-keeper  cash 
him  a  check  for  $160. 

"What  do  you  think  of  that.  Pop?"  he  asked  jubi- 
lantly. "That  check  represents  an  outlay  of  $40  in 
Consolidated  Chu-Chu  Futures  when  things  were  so 
slack  six  months  ago.  Now  they  are  full  of  orders  and 
everything  humming,  and  I've  sold  out  $120  to  the 
good — money  found.    Why  don 't  you  go  in  ? 

The  old  speculator's  eyes  glowed  as  he  straightened 
out  the  neat  check.  He  knew  in  a  way  about  the  local 
industrial  situation,  but  it  seemed  puerile  beside  the 
doings  of  the  New  York  market,  and  he  had  not  both- 


244  Clever  Business  Sketches 

ered  with  it.  And  here  was  a  chap  drawing  $15  a 
week  actually  cleaning  up  $120  of  money,  real  money, 
while  he,  George  Sherwin,  frittered  away  his  time  to 
no  purpose.  A  bunch  of  money,  not  a  large  bunch, 
would  do  so  much,  too.  There  was  that  place  for  sale, 
10  miles  out,  house,  barn,  boat  house  and  10  acres  of 
ground  on  a  lake — a  man  could  keep  chickens  there, 
chickens !  and  a  horse  and  cow  and  a  boat  on  the  lake 
for  fishing  purposes.  Three  thousand  dollars  would 
buy  it. 

"  I  Ve  got  no  money  to  throw  away, ' '  he  said.  ' '  This 
rise  in  Locomotive  is  a  mere  fluke." 

"Fluke  nothing,"  said  the  shipping  clerk.  "I  saw 
it  a-coming.  And  some  of  the  boys  have  made  money 
in  thread  stocks — buying  for  a  fall.  The  thread  mills 
have  passed  a  dividend  and  the  stocks  are  away  off, 
sure  enough.  And  there  is  the  Wardell  Plow  Com- 
pany stock — " 

"Here's  your  money,  go  away,"  growled  the  book- 
keeper, frightened  at  the  feeling  the  talk  had  engen- 
dered. 

"All  right,  stick  to  those  big  deals  that  are  keeping 
you  poor,"  said  the  shipping  clerk,  winking  elabo- 
rately. 

It  was  shortly  after  this  the  book-keeper  took  to 
keeping  chickens.  Mrs.  Sherwin  and  the  girls  were 
delighted  when  one  day  the  taciturn  man  came  home 
early  and  went  to  tinkering  with  an  old  shanty  on 
their  place,  and  it  developed  that  he  was  making  it 
into  a  chicken  house.  If  the  wound  of  their  earlier 
days  had  healed  in  the  husband,  it  had  not  in  the  wife, 
who  for  months  back  had  watched  her  preoccupied 
mate  figuring,  figuring  interminably  evenings  by  the 
fire,'and  who  saw  the  old  gambling  propensity  grow- 
ing in  him  again.  If  he  would  only  take  to  chickens 
it  would  be  a  hobby  to  take  his  attention  when  he 
wasn't  keeping  books,  and  he  -would  have  no  time  to 
bother  with  those  things  which  had  come  so  near 
wrecking  their  happiness. 

"Here's  the  beginning  of  our  flock,"  said  George, 


The  Wyandotte  Shares  245 

coming  home  the  next  Saturday  with  a  big  "Wyan- 
dotte rooster  under  his  arm. 

"What  a  pretty  fowl,"  cried  the  women,  delighted. 

' '  He  ought  to  be  pretty, ' '  said  the  husband  grimly, 
"he  cost  me  $10." 

"Ten  dollars!"  shrieked  Mrs.  Sherwin,  aghast. 

"I  chanced  to  have  the  money  saved  and  had  a 
notion  to  take  a  little  fiier — " 

"It's  all  right,  Gcordie,"  said  Mrs.  Sherwin  quickly, 
"I  only  thought  $10  a  little  bit  extravagant  for  one 
rooster,  but  you  know  best.  He's  such  a  handsome 
fellow,  you  ought  to  give  him  a  name." 

"I'm  going  to  call  him  'Stitch,'  "  said  the  book- 
keeper gravely,  withal  a  twinkle  in  his  eye. 

"  'Stitch!'  "  cried  the  mother  and  the  two  daugh- 
ters, in  concert. 

"Sfee  here,  ma,  and  you  two  girls,  can't  1  keep  a 
few  fowls  and  call  them  by  names  of  my  own 
without  you  getting  mad?"  he  asked.  "Wait  till  I 
.buy  the  hens  and  name  'em  and  you  w^on't  think 
'Stitch'  anything.  I  have  my  little  whims,  but  if  they 
are  going  to  make  you  unhappy,  I'll — " 

"Goodness!  call  the  birds  anything  you  like,"  said 
the  women,  while  "Stitch,"  released,  flew  to  the  top 
of  the  fence  and  crowed  loudly. 

Sherwin 's  selection  of  hens  was  the  talk  of  the 
neighborhood  and  gave  painful  recurrence  to  the 
whispers  about  his  sanity.  From  his  savings  he 
bought  them  one  at  a  time,  and  the  first  hen  was  a 
Bramah,  christened  ' '  Twist. ' '  A  Plymouth  Rock  fol- 
lowed, labeled  ' '  Wire, ' '  a  Cochin  China  called  ' '  Reap- 
er," a  brown  Leghorn  gravely  named  "Peebles,"  ap- 
parently after  the  factory  that  employed  him.  Of  the 
flock  no  two  were  of  the  same  breed,  they  came  one  at 
a  time  at  intervals  and  the  prices  the  old  man  claimed 
to  have  paid  for  them  were  simply  outrageous  and 
kept  the  family  short  for  days  afterward.  "Stitch," 
the  rooster,  lorded  it  over  the  heterogeneous  flock  and 
the  owner  sat  by  the  hour  and  proudly  watched  them 
busily  picking  up  their  living.  If  rumors  of  his  brain 
trouble  which  resulted  in  the  outlandish  names  reached 


246  Clever  Business  Sketches 

him,  he  did  not  deign  to  notice  them  and  in  a  short 
time  the  whim  ceased  to  attract  attention. 

The  chicken  fad  was  a  fortunate  one  for  the  old 
man.  He  was  out  bright  and  early  working  in  the  hen 
house,  and  never  were  fowls  so  tenderly  cared  for. 
As  hens  will,  they  reciprocated  the  attention  lavished 
on  them,  and  laid  eggs  right  royally ;  eggs  big  and 
eggs  little,  eggs  brown  and  eggs  white,  speckled  eggs 
and  double  yolks — the  family  had  eggs  to  eat  and 
eggs  to  sell.  Sherwin  quit  his  imaginary  speculation 
in  stocks  and  instead,  opened  up  a  set  of  books  with 
his  hens  over  which  he  never  tired  working. 

It  was  quite  easy  to  fall  into  stock  nomenclature  in 
keeping  track  of  the  hens  and  their  doings.  When 
"Twist"  or  "Wire"  or  "Reaper"  were  laying  regu- 
larly, their  market  was  "rising,"  when  they  moulted 
and  shortened  on  laying,  the  market  was  "off,"  and 
he  was  "long"  or  "short"  on  their  products  as  the 
case  might  be.  The  book-keeper  laid  out  sheets  and 
gravely  set  down  the  names  of  the  flock,  now  count- 
ing over  25  with  another  rooster  named  "Oilcloth" 
and  reduced  the  fluctuations  in  hen-fruit  to  figures  on 
a  decimal  basis.  Strangely  enough,  both  the  roosters 
figured  in  the  sheets,  but  presumably  their  percentages 
were  based  on  the  fights  they  indulged  in,  in  which, 
however,  the  Wyandotte  invariably  won. 

Sherwin  made  no  secret  of  his  foible  in  the  office, 
where  it  created  much  amusement. 

"You  must  be  planning  to  get  rich  on  your  poultry 
yard, ' '  laughed  the  boys ;  * '  what  are  you  going  to  do 
with  your  surplus?" 

"You'll  see  me  living  on  my  own  place  and  driving 
in  behind  my  trotter  yet,"  said  the  book-keeper,  in  no 
wise  moved  by  the  grins.  "My  hens  'Wire'  and 
'Twist'  are  worth  three  times  what  I  paid  for  them 
and  are  declaring  good  dividends  right  along.  I've 
got  to  the  point  now  where  I  put  the  profits  of  my 
hens  into  still  more  hens,  and  some  of  these  days  I'll 
strike  a  hen  that  lays  golden  eggs,  and  then — the 
trotter." 

"Fine,  fine!"  said  the  office  help,  sadly  tapping 


The  Wyandotte  Shares  247 

their  foreheads  behind  Sherwin's  back. 

It  was  a  pity  that  the  book-keeper  had  not  taken  to 
keeping  hens  years  before,  lie  lost  his  taciturnity  and 
actually  whistled  as  he  tossed  his  ledgers  about,  and 
one  day  he  opened  a  bank  account. 

"You  see,"  he  explained  to  the  banker,  "my  hens 
are  making  money  for  me  and  I  need  a  place  to  keep 
it  safe.  Then,  too,  1  am  meditating  going  into  the 
hen  business  wholesale  and  I  will  want  to  borrow 
money. '  * 

"Made  up  your  mind  what  breeds  to  plunge  on?" 
asked  the  amused  banker,  who  knew  all  about  the  25 
and  more  varieties. 

"Yes,"  said  his  customer  gravely,  "I  do.  There 
will  be  an  elimination  in  my  varieties  to  two  or  three 
very  soon — I  have  spotted  the  best  layers  by  keeping 
sheets  on  them,  and  the  rest  can  go  to  the  chopping 
block  for  all  I  care." 

"Come  in  and  see  me  when  you  want  to  borrow," 
said  the  banker.  "I  guess  we  can  accommodate  you 
to  a  few  hundred — with  a  good  name  on  your  note." 

"Thanks;  I'm  going  to  send  you  a  couple  of  dozen 
of  fresh  eggs,"  said  the  book-keeper,  departing. 

The  women  mourned  when  most  of  the  flock  were 
sacrificed.  It  was  some  consolation  that  Sherwin  had 
not  paid  big  prices  for  them,  and  according  to  him 
they  were  not  thriving  and  needed  the  axe.  For  a  time 
they  ate  chicken — roasted,  fried,  fricassed  and  boiled, 
and  the  back  yard  looked  deserted. 

"Never  mind,  ma,"  said  the  poultry  fancier,  "those 
that  remain  will  get  along  better  for  my  exclusive  at- 
tention and  I  can  work  out  the  problem  of  that  kind 
that  lay  the  golden  eggs" — he  chuckled. 

' '  Geordie ' ' — the  good  woman  was  looking  at  him  ap- 
prehensively, and  he  chuckled  again. 

"Don't  worry,  ma,  my  head's  all  right,"  he  de- 
clared, and  started  for  the  Peebles  button  factory 
whistling. 

True  to  his  word,  Sherwin  became  a  borrower  at 
the  bank,  unknown,  however,  to  his  women  folk. 
Simultaneously  he  began  to  fill  up  his  hen  yard  with 


248  Clever  Business  Sketches 

Wyandottes  mostly,  then  "Wires"  and  "Twists." 
About  this  time  he  hired  a  carriage  for  a  Sunday  after- 
noon and  took  Mrs.  Sherwin  and  Adelaide  and  Gussie 
for  a  drive,  stopping  at  a  little  place  on  a  lake  about 
10  miles  from  home  to  rest.  It  was  a  cosy  spot,  a  nice 
house,  a  barn,  trees,  a  vegetable  garden  and  the  rest 
grass.  There  was  a  boat  house  and  a  wharf  at  the 
lake,  and  a  little  way  out,  fish  were  "jumping,"  in 
the  most  alluring  manner. 

"What  a  paradise  this  is,"  sighed  the  women; 
"how  much  better  to  live  here  than  in  that  smoky 
city.  You  could  keep  hens  by  the  thousand  on  a  place 
like  this,  Geordie,"  said  the  wife,  wistfully. 

"When  my  present  'Stitches,'  'Wires'  and  'Twists' 
work  out  that  golden  egg  problem  among  themselves," 
he  chuckled,  "we'll  buy  a  place  like  this,  get  a  horse 
and  a  cow  and  live  happy  ever  after." 

"It's  time  we  were  starting  for  home,"  said  the 
good  woman  hastily.  Somehow,  she  felt  frightened 
when  her  husband  talked  so  about  his  hens — it  re- 
minded her  of  the  days  when  he  had  quit  brokering 
for  speculating. 

The  "performance  sheets,"  as  Sherwin  styled  his 
hen-book-keeping,  were  quite  easy  to  keep  now,  re- 
duced to  three  classes.  Unending  attention  worked 
wonders  with  the  flocks;  the  Wyandottes,  Bramahs 
and  Plymouth  Rocks  were  separated,  quite  filling  the 
narrow  quarters,  and  the  fine  big  eggs  were  saved  and 
hatched  out  in  an  incubator.  There  was  a  ready  sale 
at  big  prices  for  settings  of  eggs  and  young  pullets, 
and  really,  Sherwin  was  making  quite  a  profit  on  his 
investment.  Not  enough  to  account  for  a  bank  book 
carefully  kept  locked  in  his  desk  at  the  Peebles  fac- 
tory with  several  hundreds  to  his  credit  or  the  easy 
accommodation  he  was  getting  at  the  bank,  however. 

For  the  AVyandotte  rooster,  "Stitch,"  the  book- 
keeper developed  a  mighty  affection  as  time  went  on. 
He  often  sat  and  watched  the  proud  fowl,  lord  of  the 
back  yard,  and  muttered  things  beneath  his  breath. 
The  finest  of  living  was  none  too  good  for  the  big 
rooster  and  a  world  of  petting  "Stitch"  got  from  his 


The  Wyandotte  Shares  249 

attentive  master.  Was  it  possible  that  from  the  race 
of  "Stitch"  the  golden  eggs  were  to  come? 

The  shipping  clerk  of  the  Peebles  factory  was  by 
this  time  a  regular  speculator  in  the  local  "indus- 
trial" stock  market.  The  profits  on  his  deal  in  "Chu- 
Chu"  had  gone  in  a  dozen  different  directions  for  in- 
dustrial shares  which  he  bought  and  sold  industriously 
as  the  values  fluctuated.  The  shipping  clerk  was  not 
always  wise  in  his  investments  and  formed  the  habit 
of  consulting  with  the  book-keeper,  whose  former  con- 
nection with  the  big  stock  market  had  leaked  out. 
Sherwin  took  time  from  figuring  his  performance 
sheets  to  give  the  shipping  clerk  counsel,  and  in  turn 
the  shipping  clerk  reported  the  many  rumors  he 
picked  up  of  happenings  in  the  various  industries 
likely  to  affect  the  price  of  shares. 

"I  want  your  advice  on  'Sewing  Machine,'  Sher- 
win," he  said  one  day.  "There  is  something  new 
going  on  in  the  Standard  factory,  and  a  friend  of  mine 
there,  a  pattern-maker,  tips  me  that  it  is  a  new  inven- 
tion, something  that  will  make  the  sewing  machine 
trust  crazy  when  the  Standard  machine  comes  out  with 
it.  He  doesn't  know  this  positively,  just  a  flying  shop 
rumor,  you  know,  but  what  with  somebody  buying 
'Sewing  Machine'  pretty  freely,  the  stock  is  stiffen- 
ing, and — " 

' '  Buy  it,  my  boy,  buy  it — for  a  rise, ' '  said  the  book- 
keeper. ' '  I  happen  to  know  that  the  Standard  people 
have  been  kicking  the  price  down  for  some  reason,  and 
it  may  be  that  they  are  going  to  buy  it  back  cheap  if 
they've  got  a  good  thing  cooking  and  make  all  the 
money  for  themselves.  Buy  it  by  all  means."  The 
bookkeeper  turned  his  back  and  went  on  figuring 
his  absurd  hen-sheets  and  the  shipping  clerk  went 
away.  Sherwin  went  do^^^l  to  the  bank  in  the  middle 
of  the  morning  and  borrowed  $1,000  with  which  he 
purchased  poultry,  making  a  neat  entry  on  the  per- 
formance sheet  under  the  head,  "Stitch." 

"The  time  is  ripe,"  he  muttered. 


-50  Clever  Business  Sketches 

The  shipping  clerk  bought  "Sewing  ]\Iachine,"  a 
very  little,  for  "Sewing  JMachine"  was  on  the  rise  and 
the  Standard  people  were  buying  back  their  stock  as 
fast  as  offered.  In  a  few  days  he  hastily  sold  it,  for 
"Sewing  Machine,"  never  worth  more  than  90  cents 
a  share,  was  kiting  alone  to  the  impossible  price  of 
$2.  A  week  later  the  shipping  clerk  was  kicking  him- 
self, metaphorically,  all  over  the  Peebles  factory,  for 
"Sewing  Machine"  was  bid  at  $5  the  share  and  none 
offered.  That  rumor  about  the  new  invention  was  a 
fact. 

In  a  fortnight  it  was  whispered  that  the  Standard 
people  were  in  a  hole  over  their  own  stock.  The  orig- 
inal issue  had  been  500,000  shares  at  $1  per  share,  10 
shares  being  given  outright  for  a  time  with  every 
machine  sold,  as  a  premium  on  a  rather  poor  sewing 
machine.  Now,  when  they  had  an  improvement  which 
made  their  machine  highly  valuable,  they  found  that 
others  had  been  busy  picking  up  Standard  stock,  and 
that  the  company  was  a  minority  holder  of  its  own 
stock,  being  short  several  thousand  shares.  It  soon 
developed  who  had  bought  the  stock,  for  agents  of  the 
sewing  machine  trust,  throwing  aside  all  disguise, 
came  into  the  open  and  bought  right  and  left  at  any 
price.  The  Standard  people  frantically  tried  to  out- 
bid them. 

It  was  a  fight  for  existence  on  one  side  and  mo- 
nopoly on  the  other.  If  the  tru.st  won  and  got  a 
majority  of  the  shares  they  took  the  Standard  com- 
pany and  the  valuable  improvement  into  camp,  the 
improvement  went  on  the  trust  machines  and  the  in- 
ventors were  "squeezed."  If  the  Standard  succeeded 
in  buying  a  few  shares,  it  could  hold  its  position  and 
in  a  few  years  wipe  the  trust  off  the  face  of  the  earth 
with  its  superior  machine.  Both  sides  ransacked  the 
country  and  bought  shares  at  ruinous  prices  and  the 
contest  quickly  narrowed  down  to  the  possession  of 
2,500  shares — both  parties  had  approximately  248,000 
shares,  and  the  one  that  got  hold  of  the  missing  block 
of  2,500  would  win  the  mastery.  Somehow  it  was 
learned  by  the  trust  agents  and  the  Standard  people 


The  Wyandotte  Shares  251 

that  the  block  was  owned  right  in  town,  and  a  sleep- 
less hunt  for  it  was  begun. 

George  Sherwiu  was  sitting  in  his  poultry  yard, 
smoking  a  pipe  and  meditating  as  he  threw  corn  to  his 
favorite  rooster.  His  meditations  were  interrupted 
by  a  man  who  came  running  from  the  house.  At  the 
same  time  another  man  tunihlcd  ovci-  the  back  fence. 

' '  I  understand  you  are  the  owner  of  2,500  shares  of 
Standard  stock,"  they  said  simultaneously,  glowering 
at  one  another. 

Sherwin  chuckled. 

"Do  you  see  that  rooster  there?"  he  said;  "his 
name's  'Stitch' — named  for  the  Standard  sewing  ma- 
chine. Now,  supposing  'Stitch'  stands  for  2,500 
shares  of  Standard  stock,  what '11  you  give  me  for  my 
rooster  ? " 

"Fifteen  thousand  dollars,"  said  the  "Trust" 
promptly. 

"Twenty,"  roared  the  Standard  man. 
'Thirty,"  bellowed  the  "Trust." 
'Fifty  thousand  dollars,"  said  the  Standard  man, 
white-faced.    Sherwin  recognized  him  as  the  president 
of  the  company. 

"I'll  have  to  consult  my  principals,"  pleaded  the 
' '  Trust ' '  man.    ' '  Will  you  hold  off  for  half  an  hour  ? ' ' 

"Fifty  thousand,  one — two — three,  do  I  hear  any 
more?  Sold — to  the  president  of  the  Standard  Sew- 
ing Machine  Conipan}^  and  a  mighty  fine  Wyandotte 
rooster  you've  bought  for  the  money,"  declared  the 
rooster's  owner.  "Would  you  mind  stepping  into  the 
house  to  complete  the  transaction?" 

"Geordie,  what's  the  matter?"  asked  his  wife,  half- 
crying.  She  had  sent  the  president  of  the  Standard 
company  out  in  the  yard  to  see  her  husband,  the 
worthy  declining  to  wait  in  the  parlor,  and  the  noise 
of  the  bargaining  had  come  ominously  to  her  ears. 

"Matter?  Why,  I've  found  the  hen  that  lays  the 
golden  eggs,  and  'tain't  a  hen,  either — it's  my  rooster, 
'  Stitch, '  who  stood  for  2,500  shares  of  sewing  machine 
itock,  that  I've  just  sold  for  $50,000." 

' '  Geordie ! ' '  said  his  wife  wildly. 


252  Clever  Business  Sketches 

"I  ain't  crazy,  ma.  I've  been  doing  a  little  specu- 
lating in  stocks  right  here  in  town,  and  to  keep  you 
from  worrying,  I  've  made  you  think  it  was  hens  I  was 
dabbling  in.  'Stitch'  has  stood  all  along  for  Sewing 
Machine,  'Wire'  for  the  wire  mill,  and  'Twist'  is  tho 
thread  factory,  et  cetera,  et  cetera." 

When  the  news  got  to  the  office,  there  was  a  quick 
revision  of  opinions  about  old  Sherwin,  the  book- 
keeper. 

"Crazy?  I  wish  I  came  from  the  same  lunatic  asy- 
lum," w^as  the  envious  cry. 

"What  are  you  going  to  do  with  your  wealth, 
George?"  they  asked  the  man,  busily  writing  in  his 
ledgers  as  usual. 

"Going  to  buy  back  my  Wyandotte  rooster  and 
move  to  paradise,"  he  said  with  a  chuckle. 


DATE  DUE 

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